I live every day in the aimless shadow of this perfection. So let’s figure out what’s going on here, what’s actually attainable, and what I might be like, what I might look like, if I could possibly live this near-perfect lifestyle. Because what I might be like, or what I might look like, is in part (I think) what I’m afraid of.

Emotions aside, there are three obvious things to think about now that enough is officially enough:

A) I can do this. People do this. It’s possible. Anything’s possible, they say — except maybe somersaulting all the way around the world. In the air. With your feet behind your head. And your eyes crossed.

B) All the constant striving has to stop. Either just do it, or stop striving and accept things as they are (which won’t work because this just isn’t healthy, or the way I want to live, and enough is enough, and more about that over in the kitchen).

C) This striving is actually who I am. A Virgo. Quintessential. Perfectionista. Which means I’m constantly disappointed in myself because no one can be a perfect mother or person — but certainly clean eating and an hour of yoga a day and a dog that doesn’t jet down the street every time you open the front door is a kind of achievable perfection, no?

So I think what we need is A+B+C. I accept that I’m a perfectionist. But I can’t keep beating myself up all the time and giving up on things I want in this short, precious life. Yet I know this one thing I want for myself (and ultimately for my loved ones) is attainable. As my brillers yoga teacher told me, and as @lindseyjay kindly reminds me every day, “I can have this if I want it.”

As I write this, my little guy’s sticking his fingers on either side of my mouth, and streeeetching — you see why I only blog once a week now, sighh…. No longer the perfect every-day blogger I once was. Is everything FAIL? WAH! Wah wah. I know.

So I have a new focus, and hopefully this will do the trick. COMMITMENT. Eureka!

It’s not: “Should I or shouldn’t I have that chai fa-ri-ckin latte?” Instead it’s: “How committed am I right now?” If I find my level of commitment is 3 out of 10, I need to take a few breaths, conjure up an image in my mind of Jennifer Aniston in a bikini (at 40!), and raise it to 5, and then to 8, 10, 11, and drive right on by the seductive green sign.

Maybe this sudden new focus, new urgency, explains why I’ve been dreaming constantly about this guy….

…and seeing him and elephants elephants elephants everywhere. Ganesha, Remover of Obstacles. How awesomely fitting.

I think it’s time.

No. It’s time.

It’s time for a rebirth. Not of the old, pre-motherhood me — who was skinny and fit and driven and self-obsessed — but of a new healthier me who just so happens to set a better example for her children and maybe even for others, too.

So it’s on. Starting (necessarily, I think) with a cleanse. The Fall Fast begins…………NOW, with the famous Feel Good Guru of Toronto. Who’s with me?

And it’s on. Yoga six mornings a week — with a break on Saturdays and Moon Days — as the Yoga Guru prescribed. No need for aerobics. Ashtanga Vinyasa yoga is crazy rigorous. Though it’s so much more than a workout…. How committed are you?

Join me for a complexion-clearing, calorie-buring green smoothie? Cheers!

And now the Rascal’s calling me “Hayay.” He still can’t fully pronounce those L’s. Haley. Hmm. Who’s that? Who will that be (or look like) if I attain this attainable goal? Time to find out again. Not scary at all.

Love!

xo Haley-O

Well, if he WAS CRYING it was hard for any of us to hear because someone else (*COUGH* Rascal *COUGH*) was doing his usual fair share of shrieking…. Not sure what’s up with that. Terrible Twos? I thought we’d been-there-done-that already when he was 14 months? No? Crap. In the meantime, he loves his trains….

And, check out that kickarse hair cut. Ahem.

SPEAKING of haircuts…. A certain someone went for a certain haircut at a certain chichi hair salon in a certain Yorkville with a certain hairstylist who does Cheryl Hickey’s hair and styles OTHER CRAZY FAMOUS CELEBRITIES. I’d name them, but, I’ve learned, it’s très faux pas to drop celebrity names like that.

ALTHOUGH…. A certain MILES FABER — 2nd runner-up in last year’s SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE CANADA, and also MY COUSIN — said I could fashizzle drop his name. And, he took a pic with me FOR YOU, with THANKS for all your VOTES…. He even said he credits YOU for taking him to the end! Squeee!

LOVE! Miles is doing AWESOME, by the way. He’s going to be shooting a MOVIE for MTV CANADA next week in Calgary. He’s the CO-STAR. The movie’s called Turn the Beat Around. Look out for it (I’ll keep you posted).

Last item of business — before I get BACK to business (because ZOMG I am SWAMPED with bTrendie stuff tonight) — MY NEW HAIRCUT! My hair’s been INSANE for months now. (See above.) It NEVER looks brushed. (See above.) It weighs A TON. (See above.) It looks like ARSE. (See above.)

But, now, THANKS TO DALIDA, it looks, as a certain Motherbumper likes to say, AWESOMETASTIC ! Check. It.

Did it not take 20 pounds off my face (and head)? I have a CHIN now. And CHEEK BONES. I still look like I’ve been punched in the eye, but that’s neither here nor there. Here’s another pic I took. Because OMG am SO HAPPY with it. (I got creative.)

The colour even looks lighter, no? I love Dalida even more for REFUSING to highlight my hair because she loves my natural colour; whereas most hairstylists JUMP at the chance. It’s amazing what a haircut can do. I’m a NEW WOMAN.

Of course, I spent this evening’s entire kickboxing class (hotarse instructor, hollaaah) with my HAIR DOWN….

LOVE!

xo Haley-O

My hair is limp. My skin is pale. My eyes never have bags and HAVE BAGS, are LUSTRELESS. My skin is dry. My tailbone hurts. My eyelids struggle to stay ajar. My head spins. I see auras.

Just yesterday, I took the kids to the giant bookstore. Three separate people, at different times, said I was “brave” — which, as Kerry of Crunchy Carpets fame reminded me, is “better than stupid” (bless her preggers soul). But it’s not really “better than stupid” when you recall how your (also VERY preggers) sister (due yesterday!) agreed with you that very morning that your kids are “difficult.”

Is that a gray streak in my hair? Another fine line?

Yes, my kids are difficult. My husband is often away. My nanny has been away. My workload is overwhelming.

And she was so good for a while there — the Monkey. My sweet little Monkey. But, something clicked in her. I went back to work. The husband has been away more. Nanny Rachel entered our lives. School ended. She’s turning four.

She’s turning four next month.

F*CKING FOURS (as Ms. Greeners friend so PERFECTLY calls them). We have officially entered THE F*CKING FOURS.

And I am going out of my mind.

A few characteristics of the F*cking Fours:

*WHINING
*NOT. SHARING.
*SNEAKING DOWNSTAIRS AT NIGHT
*PICKY EATING
*CHANGING CLOTHES 4X/DAY
*NOT LISTENING
*PERSISTENCE — “Mama? C’I go play with Lauren? C’I go play with Lauren? C’I go play with Lauren? Mammaaahhhh! C’I go play with Lauren? Why not? C’I go play with Lauren?”

Shall I go on? The list is endless.

And me? With all this going on, THIS is EXACTLY how I feel much of the time these days (courtesy of Ms. Sam):

It’s PERFECTION.

Anyway, I have no idea what to do. And YOU KNOW that, when the only line you can think of to say to your children is “STOP IT, OR MAMA’S GOING TO CRY AGAIN,” you need help. And, no, I don’t mean FULL-TIME-nanny kind of help. I mean figuring out how to nip these f*ing fours in the bud. Figuring out how to have some semblance of control. Figuring out how to be some semblance of a role model for my children when I’m fah-REAKING out.

So, after that THIRD person in the bookstore told me I was “brave,” I b-lined it to the parenting section and picked up the only book I KNEW I could rely on:

Yeah, it’s kind of like Facebook. Like, I always said I WILL NEVER join Facebook. (And I still won’t.) I used to say I’LL NEVER BUY ANOTHER PARENTING BOOK because my instincts are as good or legit as any expert’s. Or so I thought. But, the time has come. I need ideas. I need guidance. My brain is too RAW and too SQUEEZED dry from all the exhaustion, frustration, confusion, anxiety I contend with every day. I need help. Sure, I could extend the nanny’s hours, but I made the decision years ago that I would “stay home” with the kids if I could. I’m lucky enough to have that option. Now I have to make it work — for ALL of us. And, from what EVERYONE’S told me, Canada’s favourite parenting expert Ann Douglas can help me. LOVE.

Meanwhile, I’ve picked this book up again….

Because I have to. Because, no, I CAN. While, yes, I’m working out regularly (thanks to HOTARSE kickboxing instructor *SWOON*), my diet is TERRIBLE, and it’s not helping my parenting. I’m crashing and burning, subsisting on one Starbucks Chai Tea CRACKAY all day, and dining at the end of the day on a bagel and peanut butter. Vegan? Yes. Healthy? NO.

Time to get healthy. Time to get happy. Time to get control.

You with me!?

Love!

xo Haley-O

P.S.: Gorgeouses, we’ve got GOODIES! A GIVEAWAY! Head on over to CHEATY GOODIES for three chances to win an autographed copy of another book I’m reading to get healthy and GORJ! It COULD BE YOURS! Check it!

He, at least, got a lollipop out of it….

And I’m not happy about antibiotics. I’ve never had to use them on the Monkey. So, this is a first, and I’m not sure how I feel about it. But, it doesn’t matter how I feel, does it? Rascal’s had a fever every night since Sunday, and he’s MISERABLE. He’s so miserable that I’M MISERABLE.

I can’t even tell you how miserable.

Of course, the lack of sleep doesn’t help. The problem is, though, that I’m now at the point where I can’t function. I feel like a terrible mother half the time because I have to drag my arse everywhere I go. I just want to sleep and drink chai lattes….

So, today, I actually took a nap. It was only for about 45 minutes and full of interruptions, but still, it was a nap. While I napped, Monkey watched TV and jumped on the bed, and Rascal dozed on my waist. At the last possible minute, I rolled out of bed and took Rascal to the doctor (it’sgrandma took Monkey grocery shopping…).

Don’t worry, Dr. Ed Harris wasn’t there today. A lovely woman took his place for the day, and I was THANKFUL. I could ask as many stupid questions as I wanted. YESS! And, I had stupid questions. Because I was tired. Tired enough to leave the house in brand new hoodie WITH the tag still on….

And, of course, I discovered the tag only after I got home from the TWO HOUR ORDEAL (the office was BOILING HOT and PACKED full of germy kids. can you say “NIGHTMARE”? how ’bout “COULDN’T BREATHE”?). Actually, Josh-O discovered it….

And, no, I’m not pregnant. I only LOOK pregnant. HEY, I was TWO HUNDRED POUNDS when I gave birth to Rascal (and I’m only 5’1″ – ish – tall), so, I think I look quite a’ight!

In other news, Monkey slept like this last night….

Just thought you should know….

A lot of Gorgeouses might disagree with me on this one, but I liked this movie, and I really think you’d like it, too….

Anyway, I was going to write this big post on how the movie, and Annette Bening in particular, totally inspired me. Just. LOOK AT HER:

GORJ. Simply GORJ. At 51 years old, gorj. I want to look like that when I’m 51. Natural — I’m looking AT YOU, Sarah Jessica Parker’s silicone additions at the OSCARS…can you believe!? I’m still hoping it was just the dress….

Back to Annette and The Women. I’m not going to get into it now because, frankly, I’m blogged out — between a new LO-HO-HONG post at the Kitch and the video blog over at Goodies, in which I announce the WINNERS of our big contest this month, and Minden makes an appearance…. AND, to be honest, I’m a little preoccupied right now watching The Oscars and tweeting about it with all my tweeps! SO FUN.

Again, anyway, back to Annette and The Women…. The funny (and a little bit annoying) thing about this movie is that EVERY single person in the movie is A WOMAN. Every single extra. EVERYONE. It’s wild.

If Josh hadn’t returned the movie, I might have watched it again, you know…. Because it inspired me. It inspired me to be okay with aging, and to maybe even embrace it. Because, you know what? I couldn’t take my eyes off Annette Bening. And, that excited me. I mean, she was a hellova lot more interesting to look at — at least to me — than the perfect Eva Mendes….

Okay, I’ve officially run out of steam. But, here are a few things Annette has inspired me to start doing…

1. Eat better….
2. Dress better.
3. Read a novel.
4. Exercise.
5. I always do my best with this one anyway, but…, AUTHENTICITY. Beauty lies in being AUTHENTIC and, with that, goes SELF-CONFIDENCE (of which I could definitely have more…).
6. Brush my hair.
7. Wear lip gloss…. Pale coral….

That’s all. I give up. I’m just way too distracted to write tonight. But, this is what I got. Now go check the other blogs…!

Love!
xo Haley-O

Yes. You’re looking at me. Drinking my DRUG OF CHOICE. It’s a Starbucks Grande Soy No-Water Chai Tea Latte. 21 days without this STUPID drink, and I had to go and get one.

REWIND.

As many of you know, my 21-day cleanse, in which I gave up caffeine and sugar, ended yesterday (Tuesday, February 9, 2009, to be exact). So, today was my first official day as a FREE WOMAN again. I did GREAT this morning. I put on the kettle. Made myself a lovely tazo chai, since I decided I could handle a little caffeine in the form of TEA BAG, with some rice milk and agave nectar (i.e., not sugar! NOT CHAI LATTE). I even bragged about it on twitter….

Are you aware, by the way, that I still have two baby teeth? I have two baby molars. They’re still here because no adult teeth ever developed. I should SO be on FRINGE…. FREAK!

ANYWAY, as you might be able to tell, I’m a little cracked out from that SMACK of caffeine and sugar I just chugged, after (I repeat) 21-days of NO stimulating food or drink whatsoever, and from that gluten-free vegan chocolate brownie the peeps at the neighbourhood health food store (they know me there, of course) snuck into my shopping bag…. Mmm….

BUT, DON’T BE ALARMED. I’m not back on the wagon. No. I’m BACK ON THE CLEANSE.

FEAST YOUR EYES on that clock ticker thing on my sidebar, under the heading “COUNTDOWN TO CHEAT DAY.” Until I reach my goal post-preggers weight (I still have to figure out what that is — I’m thinking 18 more pounds), I’m staying on this cleanse with ONE CHEAT DAY a month. I’ll reset that ticker on the 10th of every month.

Doing a “cleanse” (i.e., simply EATING CLEAN) is the only way to keep myself on track. To keep myself healthy and strong and feeling good and not stressing about food — especially since I have so much on my plate. (Eeee! Pun. So not intended!)

Because, the truth is, I can see it. I see how MUCH BETTER I felt yesterday than I do right now. After one drink and brownie, I’m back in the haze. And, if I’m not on the cleanse, I simply have no control. I can’t control my eating unless I make a concerted commitment. Right here. You all are my witnesses.

OMG, this is turning into a long ramble. I’m outta control. OUTTA.

Anyone else in on a MONTH of no caffeine no shug??? You can commit RIGHT HERE. I can even put your name in the sidebar, so we can all be your witness. Just say the word.

In other news, Gorgeouses…. GRATUITOUS KITTY PICS TIME!

The cat’s out of the basket. The teeny weeny basket….

Here he sat at 1pm. Found him there before left to teach yoga….

Back from yoga at 4 pm…FOUR PM. Still in basket….

Doesn’t he look comfy!?!?!?

OY! So, who’s joining me on another 21 days?

Some exciting, HISTORIC, news on the animal front…. My fellow animal advocates and I are very excited that PETA’s investigation inside Aviagen Turkeys, Inc., led to 19 indictments for cruelty to animals filed against former employees. This is the first time in U.S. history that factory farm employees have faced felony cruelty-to-animals charges for abusing birds. That’s HUGE. As Monkey would say, “HOORAY”! There’s more to be done, letters to be written — contact me if you want to help.

Thank you for letting me share. I’m passionate about animals, as you know, and it’s gotten to the point where I cry most nights for them. I was born with this cause (my given Hebrew name “Chayah” MEANS “animal” [among other things]). And, you help me serve my purpose — and, thus, cry a little less — by simply listening to me here now and then. Thank you so much for that.

Contest over at Goodies. You could win JURLIQUE and Dr. HAUSCHKA and PURE+SIMPLE skincare. It’s a NO-BRAINER!

I basically spent 2 hours — from 5 to 7pm — waiting in the doctor’s office. In the hot doctor’s office with over 30 other parents and ALL of their children….

Did I say hot doctor? Well, I meant that it was hot in the waiting room. BUT, I AM the only person I know who would say the doc himself is actually sort of hot. More like, in the VICINITY of hot because he looks a wee bit like ED HARRIS, whom I have loved forever….

Yeah, doc looks like Ed — only a little older. I know…, HOT!

Sigh, anyway. Doc treated me like crap. He’s known for doing that. I think it’s because I looked particularly AWFUL today. You know, I’m tired and run down, and I think there were actually visible KNOTS in my hair, and I KNOW there were bits of Rascal’s lunch on my hoodie….

So, I got in there, and he asked me what was up with my Rascal. I told him I thought Rascal’s behaviour of late was “alarming,” and that I wanted to talk about it, and that I wanted it on the record. I said that he’s constantly defiant and flinging and flailing and screaming all the time. And, the doc asked me if he’s had a fever. “Yes,” I replied, “and he’s been teething, and constipated for a month and I’ve tried everything from prunes to pear juice to flax.”

“Tsk,” Doc replied, crossing out the behavioural issues part, “You don’t try EVERYTHING for constipation, you try BLAHBLAH. Prunes will not cure constipation, and it needs to be treated, etc., etc., ETC.” I forget the name of the brand of laxative he gave me — I’m still busy REELING from the insult — so we’ll just call it BLAHBLAH. YOU ARE A BAD MOTHER, he might as well have said. YOU HAVE LET YOUR SON WRITHE IN PAIN FOR A MONTH WITH HARD STOOLS. HOW DARE YOU YOU IMBECILE HORRIBLE MOTHER HORRIBLE TERRIBLE HORRIBLE! BLAHBLAH! YOU GIVE HIM BLAHBLAH NOT PRUNES!

This was the last thing I needed, obviously, given my emotional state lately. Yet again, Gorgeouses, I go out looking for support and I get beat up. Isn’t that the way it is for mothers? Or, is it just me? I constantly feel beat up — either by flailing kid or doctor. Beat. Up.

Anyway. I’m managing. I did NOT take the doc’s advice. Did NOT buy BLAHBLAH because I (and the pharmacist) determined it wasn’t really suitable for babies. SO THERE! And, I got something else that I hope will work.

As for the teething? There IS a new molar. I felt it. It’s made its way through, so I think we’re in the clear.

As for the clinging? I dug THIS out of Monkey’s baby stuff….

He loves it. Not least because he can stick his li’l hand down my shirt (he’s turning into a li’l breastfeeLer — just like his sister was)….

As for the high chair? I ditched the clip-on table part and pushed his chair right up close to the BIG-PERSON table like a BIG BOY, and he loved it, ate like a king….

As for the sleep? What is this thing you call “sleep”?

Gorgeouses, I’m taking tomorrow off of blogging because going out to the country to spend time with Josh-O’s family. So, don’t worry about me if there’s no post Friday morning, kay? I’m okay. I have my kitties, and I have Twitter, and the awesome Twitterberry, which allows me to “tweet” all day long from my PINKBERRY! Love that I can connect anytime anyplace. How much do we LOVE the internet…?

Have a great weekend!

LOVE!
xo Haley-O

Enter enter! There’s a contest over at Goodies! Win a $100 gift certificate for the finest makeup and skincare lines in the world — check it! You could TOTALLY win!

Love! It was pajama day….

So…, I went to bed early Saturday night. REALLY early. As in 9pm. I snuggled up under my blankets and cherished the alone time. The doing absolutely nothing.

Of course, Rascal woke up at 5am the next morning — which was actually A VERY GOOD NIGHT for him. Much better than the usual up-at-1am-3am-5am…. But, he did go back to sleep from about 6 to 8:30. And, I took advantage of it and had a pretty cool dream about sparkly jewelry….

So, I slept last A LOT last night. And, today (Sunday)? I was on top of EVERYTHING. I was a total Stepford mom — only with personality and a love of kitties….

Check it:

1. I worked out.

2. I cleaned the house.

3. I cooked Rascal rice-macaroni and cheese with pureed cauliflower for lunch, and made Monkey an avocado-cheese-and-tomato sandwich (hello???? fancy!?); and I fed MYSELF a tasty vegan wrap.

4. I LEFT THE COMPUTER UPSTAIRS.

5. Practiced yoga with the kids — Rascal loves backbends! No, seriously, LOVES backbends.

6. I set them up at the table with some SLOP (cornstarch and water — try it!).

…which was totally insane because ONLY A STEPFORD MOM could clean up after the ransacking Rascal. What was I thinking!?

7. Cleaned flung cornstarch off the dining room AND living room floors — on all fours, Cinderella style….

8. Baked a Spinach-Cauliflower Rice Casserole (recipe to come)…, which Rascal and Josh-O LOVED, and which the frustratingly-picky Monkey vehemently repudiated.

9. Snuck ground flaxseed in the vanilla pudding….

10. Cleaned the kitchen….

11. TOOK A SHOWER!

12. Went to work editing web pages (I do that, too…), that, I’m convinced, are so poorly written that they’re making ME stupid — I can’t write good today.

Anyway, the kids had an awesome day, and I was the picture of motherly perfection. I’m tired from it all, but not wrecked like I usually am. And, emotionally? I feel great. Nothing like a ridiculous night’s sleep….

So, how to be a Stepford mom? SLEEP. A lot. And, leave the computer upstairs….

To watch your cousin achieve A DREAM, and on NATIONAL TV, is truly a gift….

Miles with hottie-hott-hot Nico Archambault, the other male dancer in the top 4 of SYTYCD Canada.

Anyway, my cousin’s RIPPED abs have motivated me to get mine back. My monkeys are old enough now that I have no excuse for looking preggers. Even if I WAS wearing a massive (white — i.e., NOT slimming) ski jacket….

I got SICK of trekking to the gym for yet another lame-o class-o, so I’ve been doing a lot of walking. I bundle up the kids, plug in my earphones, and VEE GO! BUT, who am I kidding? It’s f-f-f-f-freeeeeezing outside these days. The LAST thing I want to do is FREEZE for 45 minutes just to burn a measly 10 calories. No. And, my doctor recommended I do something that will get my frustrated MOMMY emotions out — like, erm, kickboxing….

So, I’ve decided I want to try a DVD again. You can buy them on Amazon for under $20 (including shipping) — so, still cheaper than going to the gym. AND, you can do it in the comfort of your own home.

What I need, though, is one I can do in the LEAST AMOUNT OF TIME with MAXIMUM EFFECTS and MINIMAL BOREDOM, of course. It’s the MIRACLE WORKOUT DVD. Because, when I used to workout at home, I tried EVERYTHING. EVERY DVD on the market. Did I mention EVERY?

I did the Jane Fonda (who didn’t!?)….

…the Kathy Smith….

…the Denise Austin….

…the CRUNCH series….

…(God help me) Richard Simmons….

…I even tried the JENNY GARTH video….

…and Kathy Ireland….

…BELLYDANCING with Neena and Veena….

…the New York City Ballet program…

…and when that didn’t work, YOGA BOOTY BALLET…

Don’t even get me started on Yoga and Pilates videos. I have them ALL. So, what do YOU recommend, Gorgeouses? I would LOVE to have something that’s 30 minutes of cardio only. I can handle the strength and stretch with my own yoga practice. I’m not sure if I want something dancey, or kickboxy? No clue. WHAT DO YOU THINK? What should I get?

Or, should I just turn on the radio and dance my arse off….

Know why? Because I haven’t been in a year. And, Gorgeouses? I have never felt better….

I walk toward the dreaded building and am STOPPED right outside the door: “you’ve changed!” It’s the receptionist on her butt break. “Thank you!” I say, assuming I HAD to look better than I did this time last year (right after I gave birth to Rascal). “Yes, you look great. Before you were, umm, big!” Yes yes yes! I have lost weight. A LOT OF WEIGHT.

Grinning ear to ear, I walk into the office. “You look familiar,” says another one of the receptionists. “Hmm,” I offer, “maybe my sister was in recently.” “Yes yes,” she agrees, “but, no! That’s not it. It’s — you look exactly like Michelle Trachtenberg! You know, from Gossip Girls, and Buffy’s sister in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And, would you look at that–,” she shows me a file, “I took out the wrong file for you. I took out a file for a ‘MICHELLE’!!”

I love her….

And, I love that I look like Michelle Trachtenberg again….

…Ish…. She IS 11 years younger than me, and wearing a TON more makeup (and possible airbrush) than me in that picture….

Sorry for the grainy pic of me, Gorgeouses — my camera’s packed for NYC, so I had to use my macbook Photo Booth. But, thank you, Photo Booth, for making me look tanned! Alas, I AM, indeed, as white as Michelle…. Anyway, evs, I’m THUPER flattered to be told, once again, that I have a GORJ celebrity twin…. I’ll never tire of it!

I still have 15 pounds to go. But the weight is FALLING off now that I’ve stopped breastfeeding and gone vegan.

Seriously, Gorgeouses, want to lose weight? VEGAN. You CAN’T EAT ANYTHING. It’s no-fail! GO VEGAN!

After the doctor’s appointment, though…, I went to the dressmaker to pick up my bridesmaid dress for this weekend’s big wedding. I’ve lost a ton of weight, but the shape of dress could make MICHELLE TRACHTENBERG look huge. I do NOT have a big butt anymore. But this makes me look like BABY-GOT-BACK! And, not in a good way…. Not to mention the fact that dressmaker FROM HELL (but the only one who would do the job in 10 days) TOTALLY effed up the pleating (yes, I said pleating)…. Oh well, SIGHHHH, I’ll make it work. By the way, it’s not the bride’s fault I’m in this predicament. I chose the dress. Only I was 50 pounds heavier at the time!!! So making it look right has been quite a feat!

Off to NYC! I promise, I’ll take LOADS of pics.

LOVE!

xo Haley-O

P.S. HUGE SHOUT-OUT to my cousin MILES FABER who danced an AWESOME contemporary routine on So You Think You Can Dance Canada. I could NOT have been prouder. YAY for the choreographer who put THAT JUDGE in her place. Wait ’till you see it, Gorgeouses: choreographer-against-judge DRAMA about MILES. Take it from me — I’ve been a dancer for 30 years — Miles was FANTASTIC. CONGRATULATIONS, Miles! You were AMAZING. LOVE YOU! xoxo