I’m still sick, Gorgeouses. So, after my, ahem, BUSINESS meeting DOWNTOWN tomorrow morning, I’m off to the doctor’s office to secure me some serious meds. I think it’s a sinus infection. All I know is I PASSED out after today’s, ahem, conference call at 1:30pm — only to wake up 4 hours later in time to roll out of bed and RUN to it’sgrandma’s house for a Victoria Day party.

Yes, we had a holiday here in Canada today. Queen Victoria’s birthday, or something. So, Josh-O was here to watch the kids while I slept yet another day away (Mother’s Day was spent in bed, too… — I sure know how to MILK it, but this sickness sucks).

Anyway, I WAS going to talk to you about the spectacular movie Josh-O and I watched this weekend….

I always liked Brad Pitt. But, just like the whole Danny Gokey – Kris Allen scenario, I’m IN LOVE with Brad Pitt, now. He SO should have won the Oscar for his truly BRILLERS performance in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, or, at least, scored himself a better intro from Anthony Hopkins at the awards ceremony…. And I think he really needs to leave Angelina Jolie — not for Jennifer Aniston, but — FOR ME. I’d have to talk to Clive Owen about it first, but I’m SURE Clive’d be okay about sharing me with Brad Pitt….

Oh, and speaking of quality movies and my hott boyfriends, I cannot WAIT to see this….

Okay. I need to go to bed. Big day tomorrow. And, frankly, I’m too dizzy and nauseous from this sinus infection to hang out any more tonight. But, LOVE….

Before I go, though, meet my new BABY…!

It’s the Blackberry Curve. My Blackberry Pearl was a good start-up blackberry. But, I’m in the big leagues now. Heh. I needed a big blackberry — sorry, a big PINKberry — with a complete keyboard. And, yes, it has to be pink. And, if I get tired of the pink, I can ditch this case and get a green, or orange or PINK CAMO case. And, for the record, no, this is NOT product placement — I don’t DO that. No, this is pure unadulterated LOVE. And, speaking of which, even though I spilled the ENTIRE new bag of cat kibble on the floor WITH BROKEN GLASS…

…kitties still love me. Especially since they had tuna, salmon and cat treats for breakfast, lunch and dinner (couldn’t pick up more cat food because vets are closed on Victoria Day!).

God, I love this cat. And Brad Pitt. And Clive Owen. And Kris Allen. And Michael Cera, Jack Black. Pinkberry. And little Rascal with his Victoria Day sparkler. I’d post a picture of said cuteness, but Josh-O passed out in Monkey’s bed earlier, and all the party pics are on his boring black blackberry.

LOVE!

xo Haley-O

Things are heating up at New Job. I actually had to drop Monkey off with Mary Poppins New Nanny after school today while “Mama went to work.”

Monkey: And Dada’s going to stay home?
Me: No, Monkey, you have a nanny now so MAMA can go to work, too.
Monkey: Can I come with you?
Me: No, Monkey, you have to stay with Rachel. But Mama will be home REALLY soon!

I got home about 2 hours later, excited about New Job and about the experience of going way DOWNTOWN (i.e., not just downtown, but WAY. WAY downtown) to CHICHI restaurant not far from the office.

I guess I must have been REALLY hungry after all these DAYS AND DAYS of being SICK AS A DAWG. Because I scarfed down my food — a vegetarian wrap — and took what I couldn’t finish (because had to leave early to rescue nanny) to go. I TOOK THE REST TO GO. I don’t like wasting food, but I never imagined myself taking food home from a company lunch…. Ahem.

I did manage to talk while scarfing, though. A lot. Something comes over me when I’m in unusual situations. I’m actually quite shy. But, put me in a room full of new people and I’m LOUD and giggling and TALKING TO EVERYONE.

You’d never guess I’m shy as [insert clever metaphor, i.e., a mouse? Albert Einstein? Carrie Underwood? -- ALL SHY]!

Minden, on the other hand, is NOT SHY in any situation (and, no, this is not a gratuitous kitty picture — it is perfectly called for)….

That was Minden doing his best Adam Lambert….

Speaking of which….

I LOVED Danny Gokey this entire season of American Idol, and it was A GOOD season — the best in a long time….

But, after his breathtaking performance of Kanye West’s “Heartless,” I fell IN LOVE with Kris Allen. And so will you when you see for yourself….

…Okay, how CUTE is he????

So, anyway, as I was saying…. I’m more THRILLED that Kris Allen is in the finale than I am depressed that Danny Gokey is GONZO. Because Danny will be FINE. He has more talent than most of the Idol winners before him, and he’s got so much charisma, and he’s got THE STORY (his wife died shortly before the competition — “TRAGEDY TO TRIUMPH,” as he says). He’ll be FINE. And, personally? I blame Paula and her DIPPY song choice for Danny’s demise.

ERGO, Americans? Since I can’t vote, you’re going to have to vote FOR ME. And, since you can’t vote for Danny, vote for Kris Allen — and those quirky adorable faces he makes when he hits the high notes. OY!

I digress. A lot. As usual. It’s kind of my thang. When you come here, you learn to expect digression. And gratuitous kitty pictures….

So, I am loving New Job. I am loving chichi lunches and challenges to my shy self. I DO need new shoes, though, now that Josh-O and it’sgrandma have staged an INTERVENTION: no more winter boots. I am no longer permitted to wear my winter boots…, or they will have me committed.

Okay, this was fun, Gorgeouses. BACK TO WORK.

Have you checked Cheaty Goodies for the WINNER of our Emergency Preparedness contest?

LOVE!
xo Haley-O

Any idea what this is?

MY CUTLERY. LINED UP. PERFECTLY.

How ’bout this?

MY PANTRY, OMG…!

This?

MY T-SHIRT DRAWER HAS NEVER LOOKED LIKE THIS! EVER!

Know what this is?

JOSH AND MY CLOSET. PERFECTIONISM AT IT’S FINEST.

This?

THE MONKEY’S T-SHIRT DRAWER (talk about “depleting the inventory”…what’s that old blue “dog” shirt doing there still — a-bah-bye).

And, this….

RASCAL’S CLOSET. A thing of beauty….

Oh, and BEST OF ALL — as Monkey would say, LOOKADISS:

THE LINEN CLOSET. This was probably the MOST shocking…. I’d forgotten I even HAVE a lot of those linens….

I don’t know how she does it. She’s here three days a week, from 9 – 1:30. I’ve been working most mornings, but, when I’m not, she hands Rascal over to me and gets cleaning. When I am working, he’s following her around as she vacuums and tidies. And, somehow, she manages to take him out to the park or the toy store. It’s amazing. She’s amazing.

Of course…, as soon as she leaves….

THE TUPPERWARE on the windowsill….

RASCAL INTO THE CABINETS….

Not to mention this huge hairball on my couch….

MEEENNNOOO! (Lower lip…)

And….

THIS FACE! Oy.

&C….

&C….

I don’t know how long ago Monkey put the coffee filter on my feverish head…. But….

I’m a new woman.

I have a clean house.

I can find things.

I can work.

On my couch.

Or on my bed.

With piles of Kleenex for my sad red stuffed and scratchy nose.

I have NO VOICE, but still managed to get my thoughts into yet another exciting conference call for work today….

Yes, am loving New Job.

Yes, am aware that am seriously annoying you again by talking about New Job sans DEETS?

Am woman of MYSTERY.

In the meantime. To bed I go. Early tonight. After finishing up some freelance work (which is endless — but a good thing), and finalizing some Kids Deserve Art orders, including some charity donations am très excited about. More on this latah! Ooo, le mystère!

Anyway, LOVE.

Love New Nanny. Love New Job. Love Family. Love YOU. Love Couch. Love Bed. Love the part in Monkey’s favourite movie Alvin and the “Chick-munks” when Simon eats Theodore’s poop to prove to Dave it’s a raisin. Love Kitties….

Love!

xo Haley-O

I don’t have much in me to write today because “Anon” is in the hospital. Anon prefers not to be mentioned on the blog or on Twitter — hence “Anon.” But, I love Anon. I’m anxious for Anon. I’ll be visiting Anon in the hospital when possible this week, so blogging will be scarce….

In the meantime, I want to tell you about my purchases this weekend.

And then I’ll usher you all over to Canada Moms Blog where I ponder the possibility of something like an “Existential Motherhood.” Oy. I don’t know why I always get so intense and stiff over there. Oh, well, I guess I kind of do know. It’s not my home quite yet. It’s too new. I need to, as my brillers yoga teacher so perfectly says about yoga practice, orientate myself in the room before I can really let go. Am I making sense? Tired. Very tired.

Anyway, last week, I started thinking about balance, and how I could really use some. New Job is exciting and fast-paced and busy (LOVE!), and then there’s my freelance writing job (which is going so sloooowwwly), Kids Deserve art, and my yoga teaching, and the blogs, and, oh yeah, THE KIDS…, and Anon….

I’ve been finding myself a little anxious and overwhelmed and sucked in lately. I go to sleep and my mind is RACING. So, on Saturday, I decided to take a trip up to the Pickering Village (Josh had to go to Pickering to visit a friend; I tagged along) and check out a New Age shop. I wanted something to ground me and help me make smoother, more relaxed transitions from job to job to person to person…….

By the way? I’m watching The Hills right now, and I have to say: “Let’s totally go to Hawaii. Like, why not? Let’s just hop on a plane and go to Hawaii!” I LOVE how they say that like it’s NO BIG DEAL. EVEN when I was that age, it was never NO BIG DEAL for me to go to Hawaii. Just saying. The Hills is just so realistic sometimes it blows me away. But I digress.

…And how many girls on The Hills has Brody Jenner slept with???

ANYWAY….

It’s no surprise, really, since he’s (to borrow his own words) “for one hundred per cent fact” HOTT….

AS I WAS SAYING….

I was so pleasantly surprised when Rascal and I got to the little plaza on Old Kingston Street. (Monkey stayed with her daddy — daddy’s girl that she is.) It was BEAUTIFUL, quaint and so quiet. Rascal and I were, like, the ONLY people in the courtyard. This courtyard….

Photo, with thanks, c/o Mandy No Good.

Imagine me and a teeny blond toddler (10th percentile, Baby!) walking ALONE in this courtyard. I was totally transported into another time and place. Bliss!

On the other side of the courtyard, was this AMAZING new age bookstore….

See it? With the blue sign? It’s called Odyssey Books and Resource Centre. (And, NO, this is not a paid advertisement. With all the talk about carpetbagging mombloggers, everyone’s paranoid! Even those of us who WOULD NEVER! — paranoid.)

AS I WAS SAYING, this store was full of spiritual goodies from candles to stones, fairies, FAIRIES, angels, jewelery, books, traditional native crafts, and everything else you can imagine…. Check how FAB….

Stuff, stuff, STUFF! I love it! Okay, I realize most of you get more excited about cosmetic stores, or Target, or Prada or Gucci or Lululemon, etc., etc.. For me? I LOVE a good New Age bookstore. Can you SMELL the incense? Ahhhh. So relaxing. ACHOO! I just love to look at all the creative baubles and yoga books and stones and candles and nicknacks — and to just BELIEVE a little in my busy busy life that there is, indeed, SOMETHING MORE to life…. It’s all about the experience.

So, since this post getting long and I have an hour left of work to do tonight, here’s what I bought.

For ME….

I got the chakra necklace (not the bracelet), WHICH I’m wearing all the time now. I’ll have to take a picture of it ON ME; it’s a lot subtler than it looks…. I think it’s très GORJ and IT GROUNDS ME. Even if it doesn’t really work — it MIGHT work, and that alone makes it worth it.

I also got this Bach elm flower remedy (NOT A PAID AD)….

The woman behind the counter said I should put two drops of it on my tongue when I get anxious or overwhelmed as I move from one task to another.

For Anon, I bought a blue sodalite stone that has “Health” engraved on it…. And I bought the Monkey a clear quartz crystal with a sea turtle engraved in it — she loves a good sea turtle. This stone is, like, her FAVOURITE thing EVER now….

I didn’t buy Rascal anything because the experience itself was priceless for him — besides, he really only likes his sister’s stuff…. He had the best time playing with the stones, crystals, chimes, books. I’d give him one stone, and he’d be like “neh. neh. neh,” then I’d try another and, “neh. neh,” and finally another, which he’d take eagerly and hold for dear life in his sweaty little hands until he was done with it…..

We had a great time. A mini-vacation in my hectic, busy life. That, and the sweet little gifties I bought for myself and others, were exactly what I needed to get some sense of balance….

And, now, because you know you want EVEN MO MO MO, check my latest (sort-of related) post at Canada Moms Blog: EXISTENTIAL MOTHERHOOD?. I know, intense again, stiff…. Hope you like it anyway!

Too long. The past two days have been too long. Josh-O’s been leaving early for work and arriving home LATE. Very late. And I have WORK to do. I have NEW JOB to do.

Two days in a row — yesterday and today — I haven’t started my work until 8:30pm. Last night, I went to bed at 2AM because of it. I’m exhausted. But, I just had to tell you and to say hi, Gorgeouses.

Not only do I have this GREAT new job, which I’ll tell you more about very soon, but Kids Deserve Art orders are OFF THE CHARTS. I, like, need to start FILING, or something. Don’t get me wrong, I am THANKFUL: I love giving my artists work, and the money I make goes a long way toward supporting my Starbucks habit (and a charity or three, of course)….

So, I finally bought myself a daytimer. I took Monkey and a dosing Rascal with me to buy a cute little eco-friendly daytimer and biodegradable pen — from my new favourite store, PISTACHIO. The daytimer is made with soy-based ink and recycled paper, HOLLAHHH. Check it, and check my workspace now — not ever this NEAT, by the way:

When I bought the hot new daytimer (which is way too small, of course, but whatevs), I told Monkey I’d buy something for her, too. So, what’d she buy? Not a fabulous eco-friendly puzzle, gadget or funky wooden toy, but AN EGG (and TWO beads at the neighbouring bead store — she found that uggers third, yellow bead on the street). A FREAKING EGG:

I didn’t complain, of course, because the thing was $3.50 AND 50% off…. But, huh?

Also huh? I asked Monkey to go upstairs and clean her room thinking MAYBE she would do it? Not 5 minutes later, she came downstairs wearing THIS….

When, AT WHAT AGE, do they start cleaning their rooms? Because I’m getting a little TIRED of being her SLAVE. And, while we’re asking questions, can someone please tell me why children insist on standing DIRECTLY in front of the TV no matter how humongous it is — is it to make me anxious? Must be….

ANYWAY….

I REALLY have to learn to multitask. Or, no. I REALLY have to learn to FOCUS on one thing at a time:

1. NEW JOB — and ONE task at a time while focusing on new job.
2. KIDS DESERVE ART — and one customer at a time while focusing on Kids Deserve Art.
3. FREELANCE WRITING — I have so much writing due it’s not funny, and here I am chilling with you…. Love….
4. BLOGS (sometimes known as “procrastination,” ahem).

Thank GOD, I’m getting a part-time nanny three mornings a week now. I’ll go to yoga one morning, work the next, and maybe, say, if not too-too busy, read a little at the corner Starbucks the next…, or at some Starbucks far far away where I know NO ONE….

I’ve been reading that novel for MONTHS.

It’s a great challenge being a “work-at-home mom.” It’s a great challenge spending the ENTIRE day — from dawn to dusk — hanging out with TWO little peeps who think standing up on the highchair during dinner is hilarious, who refuse to share, who get off on hitting each other, who think THIS is DA BOMB….

…BUT, who is JUST starting to play independently (HALLELUJAH!)….

It’s a great challenge spending the whole day with these cheaty little monkeys — and then to get to work. But, it’s also so rewarding: I get the best of both worlds. I get to stay home with my kids AND I get to have a career (with yummy meetings! I’ve always loved MEETINGS). Amazing.

Ooo… I think I want to put “Jai Ho!” as my new blackberry ring tone. It’s my new “Eye of the Tiger” — totally pumps me up…. Hmmm…. I’ve got Lily Allen’s “The Fear” on it now…. What’s on your phone?? Do tell!

Someone fell asleep on the way home from yoga…. WHILE he was eating his snack….

Oy! Anyway, I got a JOB, Gorgeouses! I’m a working girl. I mean, I’ve always been a working girl — between the yoga teaching and the Kids Deserve Art, and the freelance writing. It’s endless really. And, I don’t know how I do it, no.

But, this is a real job. People are, like, depending on me to do great work. I’m excited and a little nervous and totally passionate about the project — not least because the people I’m working with are amazing and enthusiastic and passionate.

I’d love to tell you more about it, but I can’t AT THIS TIME. You’re just gonna have to wait a WEE bit longer. But, I’m telling you, it’s worth it. This is TRES coo….

What I CAN tell you, though, is Mama’s got some HELP with the monkeys now. I scored myself some good part-time help so I can maybe have some time to actually, you know, work.

The ONLY problem is…is… this….

Tigger. She’s way fat. And she INSISTS on lying on me WHENEVER I turn on my computer. In fact, WHENEVER I sit down ANYWHERE. I can’t tell you how frustrating this is, especially when I’m in a time crunch (i.e., ALWAYS). Sigh. She’s on my lap right now. UGH Don’t get me started on those claws…. AAAARRRGH! I think she just farted.

Can we talk about Kris Allen for a minute? How the heck did he pull off “She Works Hard for the Money” on American Idol last night? And how did he win me over last week after I couldn’t BE BOTHERED with him ALL the weeks before — except to say he’s ADORABLE? Here’s Kris blowing me away last week with “Falling Slowly”….

I love LOVE Danny Gokey. But, now, MOVE OVER DANNY! Well, no. Danny’s number one. But, Kris is inching closer EVERY WEEK. “She Works Hard for the Money” — hello? How? What? Are you KIDDING ME? WHERE did he COME from!? Awesome. And HOTT.

When Josh first held our son RASCAL in his arms, I can TELL you, as Brody Jenner says (and OMG, I am 34 years old and quoting BRODY JENNER), FOR ONE HUNDRED PER CENT FACT that Josh-O did not picture the two of them doing THIS together….

Calico DOLL HOUSE! Check how into it they are….

Note to self: BLACKMAIL Rascal with this later (already blackmailed Josh-O, but he refused to give me his new iTouch, so there!).

I take pictures of squirrels….

Isn’t he GORJ?

Gorgeouses! Speaking of squirrels and GORJ, Happy Earth Day! I want to REALLY celebrate today. Because this beautiful Earth of ours deserves to be honoured and celebrated and thanked. And, honestly, I never felt as strongly about Earth, nature and animals until I had children. I want more than anything for my children and their children to have a HEALTHY Earth, clean water, clean air, TREES, ANIMALS….! I want it so badly that I get obsessive and overly passionate, as you know…. I pick up garbage off the street, yes I do. I recycle EVERYTHING, including stray water bottles on the street — always figuring somehow they’ll end up in the ocean (LOVE OCEAN). I try to limit the amount of garbage my family produces. I EAT NO MEAT — and wouldn’t it be great if everyone just ate a LITTLE LESS meat? Don’t worry, I won’t get started! And, of course, Ifeedtheneighbourhoodsquirrels….

Indeed, my hope and passion for this planet was revived most recently, when I went to Bermuda and saw some of Earth’s truly AWESOME beauty….

And, way to go Disney! This Earth movie looks positively stunning, and inspiring. Enjoy the trailer….

Happy Earth Day, Earth! May our carbon footprints soon start to fade and you flourish for millenniums to come….

LOVE!

xo Haley-O

But, will he SLEEP tonight? THAT is the question.

He may be CUTE. Okay, he’s CRAZY CUTE. And can we just talk about that for a second? I’m a “mommy blogger,” so, apparently, and by definition, I’m supposed to rant on and on as annoyingly as possible about how cute my kids are and how they might say things like “EYEBROOS” (when she means “eyebrows”) and “Mama, I can’t sleep because my eyes are lippy” and how cute my cats are and LOOK AT THEM!

Rascal…. With his new blond buzz cut, and his nibble-able ears, and his little pea head. He’s such a little MAN now. Sometimes I can’t take it….

He loves his li’l self. And he loves his frozen blueberries. I mean, of course he would because they satisfy his two major needs right now — to ease the aching teething gums and to RANSACK. Blueberry on the couch on the walls on his CLOTHES. Maybe next time, we’ll strap him in the highchair. Or not.

Yes, he’s adorable. But, as you know, he doesn’t sleep. And, it’s frustrating. And, I’m really feeling it today.

I’m not a Stay-At-Home-Mom, per se. I’m a Work-at-Home-Mom. I’m spread very thin, and it’s taking it’s toll as I sit here, unable to get to my editing work. Frozen. Paralyzed. Nauseous at the thought of more work.

Right now these are my jobs: yoga teacher (three classes a week now!), editor, art dealer, writer, and MOM — and all the day-to-day jobs that go with MOM, including cooking, feeding, cleaning, dressing (WHEN do they start to really dress themselves?), bathing, playing, chauffeuring, entertaining, wiping, changing diapers, refereeing, comforting, carrying, grocery shopping, clothes shopping, doctoring…. He’s got a cold. Is coughing. Right now. I better run to him. Soothe him.

Aren’t you exhausted just READING that?

What about me, though? Where do I fit in to all of this — I mean my own innermost desires, needs, hopes? It’s rough out there with the economy the way it is. Difficult for a stay-at-home mom to return to the workforce. Maybe even impossible after so many years. And, I do want to work when the kids are in school — so I have to work NOW, to keep my foot in the yoga door, and write like mad to build my portfolio…. But, what about me? What about me NOW?

As the Meg Ryan’s character asks herself in The Women (I didn’t get to this in yesterday’s distracted post), WHAT DO I WANT? What do I want NOW?

I don’t know.

I want to sit on my couch. I want to cuddle with my cats. I want to work (here we go) at a magazine publishing company, maybe write a column, have my own office for writing my column, go to meetings, creative meetings, and I want to volunteer at an animal shelter or charity, exercise, read a novel, get my hair cut, BRUSH my hair, take a bubble bath…. I want to practice yoga and meditate and cook for myself, at least now and then, without the WOUNDED SOLDIER screaming and tugging at my pant leg and without the monkey stopping me mid-cooking-chaos to take her to the washroom….

But, I love my blueberry monster and my cheaty little eyebroo…. I love spending so much time with them. They’re cute. CRAZY CUTE. It’s my honour…. Time for me will come. I know. And I can wait. Am in no rush. I hear it all whooshes by so fast, anyway. And, I am learning. I’m learning patience. And I’m learning sacrifice. And I’m learning about giving and service and responsibility. And I’m learning what life is. It’s not about sitting on my arse watching trash TV (LOVE) and BLIPPING (LOVE LOVE). It’s about doing and giving and loving and being and teaching and learning….

He’s coughing again.

It’s going to be a long night. Better get to it…. It was fun chatting, though….

Love!
xo Haley-O