To sleep, perchance to dream — ay, there’s the rub….
Hamlet (III, i, 64)

Four days ago I was all set to write the post we’ve all been waiting for (you know you’ve been waiting for this, at the edge of your seat, yahhuh!) — the post IN WHICH I announce that a certain two-and-a-half-year-old is finally sleeping through the night. I was all ready to get my HOLLAHHHHHs and everything. But, then, this revelation came about, and I just had to write about it, and then, ummmmmmmmm, the certain two-and-a-half-year-old stopped sleeping through the night, and has practically stopped sleeping altogether.

“MOMMY, MOOOOOMMMMMY! I. NEED. YOU.”

How can you resist “I. NEED. YOU” in the wee hours of the morning? Actually, it’s more like, “I. NEED. HYOU.” How do I resist that? Do I want to resist it when, 10 years from now, I know I’ll be bribing him for a wee cuddle? Because, frankly, I missed the little guy last week when he slept from 7:30pm to 7:30am for a whole 3 days straight. He even played in his crib when he woke up, telling his stuffed animals to, “Wait yo turn!” He was all proud of himself for sleeping through the night, too: “Mama, you powda me?” I totally thought we had it in the bag. But, no. As the Rascal would say, “Not really.” Actually, it’s more like, “Not reeee-eey.”

But, now that he’s back to NOT sleeping through the night, I miss when he WAS sleeping through the night. Especially since my bed is extra packed these days because my parents are away in California. Yes. It’s their fault. Because now, not only is Rascal in my bed, but also

and

Minden, MAARGE (looking très creepy up there), and my parents’ dog Olivia — or, as the Monkey likes to call her, “Yulivia” (we refuse to correct this), and, as the Rascal likes to call her, “Yayvah Yayvah Yayvah” (we refuse to correct this). Olivia’s deaf. All of them and THE RASCAL (never mind Josh…) aggressively vie for my slumberous attention throughout the night…. Actually they’re vying for my attention all the time — right at this very moment as a matter of fact. Minden is purring on top of me, and I can hardly see the computer screen. Have I made any typos?

Sighh…. TIRED. Sleep well, ye Gorgeouses…!

Love!

xo Haley-O

There are three potential first lines to this post:

1. Then again the apple never tasted so sweet.

2. “Mama, are you going to put it on your website?”

3. Dogs are such extensions of their owners, I mean, look at Bethenny Frankel….

I mean, while all the other Real Housewives are sporting chihuahuas, she comes up with this hunk of a bruiser. OY, LOVE. And her name is Cookie. I mean, does it get more compatible than that. They’re perfect for each other. And, me? I have him….

…WHOM I, proudly, rescued from a vet who didn’t seem to care much about him. Really, I’ve never said much about Minden’s origins. But, Minden was the sweetest, most affectionate cat I’d ever met, and he was spending his kitten days locked in a cage on top of his litter box. The vet and staff hardly recognized him when I brought him back in for check ups — and that makes me want to cry. THREE MONTHS Minden spent with them, and they didn’t recognize him when I brought him in. I switched vets, needless to say.

Are Minden and I compatible like Bethenny and Cookie? Just say YES.

I have countless pictures of me and Minden. Me in my big red hat and, what is that, an iPad? And my fancy shiny legs and big New York smile. I’m a little obsessed with Bethenny — and I don’t care if that’s sad — I think she’s hilarious, and I love her frankness (her Frankelness…heh).

That whole Housewives series is just a HOOT. Just yesterday, I thought, I’m NOT getting into The Real Housewives of New Jersey, I will NOT! I want to salvage at least SOME of my brain cells. But, then I saw this clip…, and I was hooked, lined and SINKERED:

OUTRAGEOUS! It’s just so outrageous. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, I know. Some of you are probably, like Josh-O, totally disgusted right now. And, I know I should be spending my time finishing this month’s fabulous and VERY intellectual T-DOT Blogger bookclub book…. But, if you’ve spent two nights in a row “praying to the porcelain god” because you have the worst stomach flu you’ve ever had in your entire life, then a TV show like this is a GODSEND. Yes, The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Orange County, New York and New Jersey have helped me get through this flu in one piece, sort of.

And 5 pounds smaller — hoorahhh!

OH! And the brand new Project Runway………looooove.

I’m still not out of the woods. I haven’t been able to eat dinner tonight. And I’m freezing, and there are no Housewives on tonight.

But, the sliver of  apple I just sampled never tasted so sweet. AND, the Monkey is actually excited for me to post her favourite dolls “on [my] website”…. She’s starting to have a voice of her own on this blog. And it’s really cool to see that li’l evolution.

But, I’ve run out of steam, officially. Getting cold, and feeling another HURL coming on. You’ll have to wait for the dolls until next time. And, I assure you, whether or not that sounds lame, that you will love it.

You know, sometimes I get really anxious, and the weight of motherhood and the world just gets too heavy to bear. As shameful as it may be, the Housewives are an escape. These women worry about nothing outside of their own self-created dramas. It’s LIBERATING to watch, and hysterical. And the makeup and clothes are OUTRAGEOUS. OUTRAGEOUS, I tell you.

After reading this post, can you guess how high my fever is? I may just be…DELIRIOUS?!

LOVE!

xo Haley-O

P.S. Many thanks to all who participated in the To Haiti With Love benefit (ends midnight tonight). It was an HONOUR to be a part of it.

This Is Just to Say
by William Carlos Williams

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

This Is Just to Say
by Minden

I have eaten
the lettuce
that was in
the reusable grocery bag

and which
you were probably
saving
for dinner

Forgive me (meowwww)
it was delicious
so sweet
and so cold

Minden is the only member of Cheaty’s house who hasn’t vomited in the last few days — not even a hairball. It’s probably thanks to the lettuce.

CHEATY ANNOUNCEMENT!

The artists of Kids Deserve Art and I have submitted fabulous pieces to a very special auction, “To Haiti With Love.” Please go on and check the pieces and BID, and please TELL YOUR FRIENDS (facebook, email, etc.)! All the donations are going DIRECTLY to St. Joseph’s Family of Homes for Children in Haiti.

The auction closes on February 8th at midnight! So, go go go! And please spread the word.

Click HERE to go straight to all the KDA items!

Haley-O

We’re leaving tomorrow afternoon, and we’re ALREADY packed — which, if you know me, is nothing less than astounding….

Just as astounding is the fact that my daughter — MY DAUGHTER — packed her own bag! See that there (above)? SHE did all that. And if you saw what MY bag looks like, you’d be astounded that any spawn of mine could pack such a bag. SURE, she packed a few two many pairs of flip flops, and forgot socks and underwear, and pants, but the presentation — LO…! I’m very proud. I left it to Josh to tell her we can’t actually take that bag with us….

So, off we go on a much-needed vacation. A much needed rendezvous with the ocean, palm trees and TARGET….

Seriously, I’m beyond excited to reconnect with the ocean. To breathe in and out in sync with the waves. My naturopath (Jennifer Baer) couldn’t have prescribed a better remedy for all my restlessness…. (Except maybe a yoga retreat in Costa Rica, or something, but this’ll do!)

Here’s hoping.

In the meantime, someone’s ALREADY missing his mama….

And someone else is PRETENDING she could care less (and reminds me, as we pondered in this week’s yoga class, “do cats have collar bones?”)….

Okay, back to packing. The monkey’s in bed now, and Josh and I are laughing hysterically about what she’s packed in her carry-on………

OH! And check my vacay reading….

First, Julie Powell’s Julie & Julia (which I’ve already started and am LOVING, even though am a vegan — the book is about so much more than food, of course)….

Second, because it’s Karen’s pick for our T-Dot blogger book club, Sara Gruen’s Water for Elephants….

Okay, I’m off. I’ll try to post at least a vlog or two while I’m away! And my post at Canada Moms Blog should be up today or tomorrow — it’s another intense one (surprise surprise).

I’M GOING TO DISNEY WORRRRRLD! (heh. couldn’t resist.)

Love!

xo Haley-O

It’s hard to write a blog post with a cat on your lap. I think that’s one of the reason’s I blog less often than I used to. That, and twitter, and my seasonal anti-socialness. Yes, beloved Macbook, I know “socialness” is not a word but, according to you, either is “macbook.” There’s such a thing as poetic license, you know. And thank you for helping me spell “license.” It’s one of those words I never know how to spell. That, and “exercise” and “occasion,” and “judgment.” Reminds me of how it took me the longest time to notice the spelling of “schedule” — why not “schedual”?

I so think I’m Aristotle right now — ruminating on the little particulars in life and in the mind…. Because I just read this FABO (I know, not officially a word but whatevs) novel all about Aristotle and his student Alexander the Great….

Yes, I read Annabel Lyon’s The Golden Mean. It was my T-Dot blogger bookclub choice. Aside from the animal experimentation and dead-soldier dissection — Alexander the Great was a wee bit CRAZY (crazy but HOT, apparently) — this was the most relaxing, enjoyable book I’ve read in a long time.

If you loved The Tudors and Rome TV series (LOVE LOVE LOVE), you’ll love this book. Lyon takes you RIGHT out of the 20th century, and into Aristotle’s mind — an insatiably curious, innocent, self-questioning, seeking and apparently bi-polar mind.

If you love ancient philosophy, you’ll love this book. Lyon’s (historical-fictional) contextualization of Aristotle’s works makes his theories so much more accessible than your philosophy professor ever could. If only this book were around when I was taking philosophy exams. I had so many “AHA!” moments — or, should I say, “EUREKA” moments!

If you love ancient history, you might, as the author puts it in her acknowledgments, “turn purple” when you read this book. But I was okay with that.

If you love a little erotica in your reading, you’ll love this book. I’m not sure I ever needed to imagine Aristotle’s sex life. But, it was cool to learn how his second wife taught him that there is, indeed, such a thing as a female orgasm. EUREKA!

At Book Club last night, we didn’t talk much about the book. Probably because we all had different levels of interest in Aristotle and his philosophy. I wanted to talk about the significance and treatment of TRAGEDY and CATHARSIS in the book — but I was once a post-graduate philosophy major. AND WE WERE TIRED. AND WE WANTED TO CUPCAKES…. Check ‘em out!

I set them up in my fancy cake plate. Ooo, did I mention I entertained? I ENTERTAINED. I never entertain at my house. EVER. I chose the book; I hosted the SOIREE. But, I think I did ok! What do you think? Check out the table….

Fresh veggies and hummus….

Chips and dips, and fancy NUTS — total HIT — from my fave food store, Organic Abundance — presented in a GORJ clay bowl handmade by BFF Jenifer-Lyn Terner….

And various grains and bean dishes, etc., etc….

And I dressed up my 5-pound LIGHTER bod….

Getting there…! (I’m getting my haircut TOMORROW, woohoo!). And I wore my fancy slippers….

And I had a great time with my bloggy buddies — like the fabulous and brillers KAREN….

…and SANDRA MAMALOOPER….

Lovelies KITTENPIE and BLITHELY BABBLING don’t show their faces online. But I managed to get a picture of Kittenpie’s lap….

And, of course, the “unwonted guest”…. The Monkey LOVES Mamalooper…. Here she is trudge-trudge-trudging BACK upstairs for the fifth time (I saved her a cupcake, of course)….

It was a FAB party, if I do say so myself. Several peeps in the club couldn’t make it, so it was low key. We drank mint green tea, instead of wine. I turned on the fireplace and gave Mamalooper a blanket to cozy up in. They left after 11pm. I went to bed happy.

Then, today, the Monkey barged in on me when I was in the shower, yelling, “THAT’S MY MAMA!” Let’s just say her playdate, Jill, got an eye full….

THIS MONTH’S BOOK: Sara Gruen’s Water for Elephants.

Thinking about the people in Haiti today. A great place to donate is here –  http://freethechildren.com/.

LOVE….

xo Haley-O