I can’t seem to write ANYTHING. So much to say, and I just can’t get it together! So much to say — and, oh! It’s my cousin from NYC. I’m telling you: procrastination city over here…. Oh, and, look. Try typing with THIS staring at you:

Actually, I’m still getting over my FLU SHOT, which has rendered me DROWSY, IN PAIN, NAUSEOUS and DID I MENTION DROWSY? How ’bout EXHAUSTED? It was a little unfortunate because I was sick in New York, and we had to go home early from the Museum of Natural History….

Ooops! Sorry, wrong picture — that was Toys R’ Us (LOVE!)…. Here’s the museum….

Yeah, we’d been walking for a while, and then, all of a sudden, my feet felt like they were going to FALL OFF. And, I got f-f-f-reezing and achy everywhere. We had a wedding event that evening, and I totally didn’t think I’d be able to go. And, I was willing to sacrifice the WRATH of Josh-O’s family to FREEZE alone in my hotel bed. But, I ended up popping two advils (which I never do), and I MADE IT!

Speaking of wedding…. I promised I’d share my uggers dress with you! I only managed to get one pinkberry picture — which I took to send to my family back in Toronto. WARNING: it’s frightening. WARNING #2: my breasts are actually THE SAME SIZE; one is NOT impossibly bigger than the other….

I’m really not sure which boob is the actual size…. Anyway, I wish to thank DRESSMAKER FROM HELL for the lovely job on the PLEATS that made me look TRAY fat. I’ve always wanted to be the FAT BRIDESMAID. And, SHE (helped) make it happen. LOVE. Also, if I look like I was punched in the eye? It’s ‘cuz I’m pretty sure I WAS punched in the eye. My left eye was THROBBING with pain all day. Monkey slept in our hotel bed, so it’s very likely I was thwacked in the eye by either a foot, a fist or an elbow. Probably an elbow. Or, a knee. Because, if I remember correctly, Doc didn’t inject the flu shot in my eye….

Fortunately FOR ALL, the kids looked great at the wedding…. Monkey was a beautiful flower girl, and I was TRAY fahklempt walking down the aisle with her while she meticulously and with great seriousness scattered the rose petals….

Awww! I KNOW! And, look at my little ringbearer…. RAAAASCAAAAL! IN A TUXEDO (check the shoes!)!

Josh-O looked really spiffy himself…. Here we are at Rockefeller Center….

(That’s my bad angle. The photographer at the wedding, you should know, made sure I was photo’d at this angle, but with a little less nostril, of course, in all the photos. Which makes me SO happy. Because those are, like, FOREVER.)

We loved being in New York. It’s a fascinating city. We stayed at the Millennium Broadway Hotel in the heart of Times Square….

This picture was taken at FOUR in the afternoon. 4pm!!! It was SO DARK. Eerie almost. Surreal…. Sublime….

Check out that orb! Do you see that orb up there? Ghost?!?!?

Central Park, of course, was my favourite….

Also…. ALSO, the American Girl doll store. We went there to get Monkey the PERFECT gift for being such a great flower girl. EVERY girl who is ANY girl in NYC has an American Girl doll. They. Were. EVERYWHERE. Have you BEEN to this place? It’s insanity. LOOK:

No. They are not kidding.

Dolls. EVERYWHERE. Little girls. EVERYWHERE. And, it’s very serious…. There’s even a freaking cafe (”freak” being the operative word here)….

The monkey came out with this doll….

…whom she named SHIELA (don’t ask because I have NO IDEA where she got that name from…), middle name PEELA. Of course, we got monkey and the doll matching pajamas and slippers — because that’s…what you do….

We TRIED SO HARD to get Rascal a gift, but he wouldn’t take anything! Everything we gave him was THROWN out of the stroller…. See how hard we tried? See?!

Nothing. You know how hard it is to NOT be able to give your kid a gift? I bought him a little toy phone today, though, and he loves it. So, s’all good.

Hey, by the way, check it! I met my first bloggers ever! I’ve never met any bloggers that I didn’t know in real life EVER (oh, except for Toronto private-blogger Lisa B, whom I met in the parking lot at Loblaws). And, I survived. I met the lovely Steph, who quit blogging (wah!), and AmyD, who’s as gorj and fabulous as she appears on her blog. It was AWESOME meeting them. Who knows? Maybe I CAN go to one of the Toronto blogger events? Maybe I CAN go to a Blogher conference after all? Maybe I CAN meet other bloggers in real life? Maybe it’s NOT scary! (Granted, these were TWO bloggers…. not TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND MILLION….)

Highlight of the trip?: Monkey in the airplane. We’re all waiting to get out of the airplane. It’s late. Everyone’s quiet. All of a sudden, monkey’s little voice blurts out loud and clear:

“MAMA, I MADE A STINKY THART!”

Mmm hmm. That’s ma girl. Of course, everyone on the plane was laughing. And, one day she’ll get her “f”’s right….

…but, I’m in no rush….

*Yes, I’m aware there’s something going on with the title of this post…. I tried to upgrade my blog software by myself. BRILLERS. And, our whole night went down the tube because of it. Down the tube? Is that right? Sounds weird. Anyway. Working on that…. Bear with…. xoxo.

[WORKING TITLE:] TO BE DECIDED…; AND, STUFF I NEED TO DO BEFORE GOING TO NYC

UPDATE: fixed! finally! GOOD NIGHT! mwah!

***

It’s Tuesday afternoon. I’m trying to write something small today, which will probably end up being BIG because that’s how things are with me. I can be a little unpredictable. Even to myself. I’m just kind of never sure about things. Never totally sure about what I want. As I get to know myself better (with age), I notice this has been a flaw of mine for a long time.

I can’t make decisions.

Can’t can’t can’t can’t can’t.

Cereal or toast for breakfast? Chicken fingers for the monkeys tonight? Or, pizza? Starbucks soy tazo chai latte WITH or WITHOUT water? Apple or banana? The black lululemons or the brown lululemons? The black running shoes or the white ones? Post about THIS? Or, post about THAT?

I never have ANY IDEA. I just can’t DECIDE!

Part of my problem is that I usually DO KINDA know what I want. I just get caught up in the effects of my choices. How will this affect so-and-so, or so-and-so. And, as a parent, I’m CONSTANTLY making choices that affect others.

It would be easy if I had a book with all the answers about motherhood, life, what clothes to wear, or how to satisfy the vegan palate in a houseful of meat eaters and milk guzzlers….

It would be easy if I had a routine to follow — perhaps one from a book — so that the decisions would be made for me and no amount of “MAMA, c’I watch TV” could coerce me out of it.

But, no. I’m an intuitive girl. I RELY on my intuition every single day, every single decision, in parenting my children.

So, I’ve been forced to develop that intuitive muscle. And, I like it. I’m starting — STARTING — to trust myself.

I AM getting more assertive. Yes. I. Can.

So, today, when it’sgrandma asked me, “Hale, I know you’re going to say no, but can I please treat you to a manicure and pedicure tomorrow — you’ll get your feet massaged, sit in a massage chair, get pampered, you’ll be able to read a book, and you don’t HAVE to get nail polish.” I SAID YES. An unwavering, unhesitating YES. And, PLEASE. And, then, ARE YOU SURE?

I love it’sgrandma.

I also love my cousin Miles (and my fancay segues) who KICKED ARSE when he danced for his life last week. CHECK IT (and ignore the captions. Dude doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Miles is a technical KING of the pop. “Snake” MY ARSE!)

Awesome, right? His partner Lara went home, unfortunately. Not sure that was deserved. Her solo was excellent. PLUS, she was probably the most gracious eliminated dancer ever. Too bad she doesn’t get to go on the tour. She and Miles made awesome partners in the end….

Monkey’s sitting with me now. Sucking her thumb and pinching the skin of my throat. Ahh, the self-soothe…. She’s been doing this FOREVER. I’m going to have a premature throat wattle, fashizzle, thanks to this. Mine is the only throat she fondles — which, of course, makes me feel beyond special. Who needs breastfeeding when you can have the throat-fondle to feel close and connected to your three-year-old? SOMETIMES she does fondle Minden’s throat, though, if I’m not available (and THAT is hilarious)….

Okay, so tomorrow I have to run around the city preparing for our trip to New York. I might as well just do this quickly, here…. Need to figure this stuff out.

1. Pick up bridesmaid dress that I had to REMAKE in 10 days (don’t ask me how much the dressmaker made me pay or I might have to kill you);

2. Pick up Monkey’s flower-girl dress…;

3. Pick up more of Pure and Simple’s Ageless foundation (my absolute FAVE — it’s like MAC’s face powder/foundation, BUT BETTER and PURER);

4. MAYBE pick up one of their eye shadows, too…. By the way, if you’ve seen me lately, I AM AWARE that I’ve been wearing a ton of makeup (for me). I’ve been practicing with different colours and shades for the wedding…. I’m doing my own makeup and hair (eek!). You wouldn’t believe the confused looks I got at my very earthy yoga studio when I walked in at 9am with a full face of makeup…. Picture GOLD EYE SHADOW….

5. MANI-PEDI. THANK YOU, IT’SGRANDMA!

6. Vegan snacks. I need nuts and stuff to carry around. It’s one thing to be vegetarian when traveling, but a WHOLE other thing to be vegan…. No wonder I’m losing A TON OF WEIGHT lately.

7. Knee highs. I need knee highs to wear with my Spanx….

I think that’s it! Not bad. I can do all that tomorrow, right?

We leave Thursday. It’s my sister in law’s wedding, by the way. TRAY exciting. I’ll take lots of pics, of course.

And, that, my dear Gorgeouses, is what you call a DECISIVE and FOCUSED blog post. Go me. Kelly Clarkson may be Miss Independent, but I. I am MISS INDECISIVE. And, you know? I’m KINDA okay with that. Or, not.

Acceptance, my dear Gorgeouses…. Acceptance.

Love!

xo Haley-O

We went to the ROYAL ONTARIO MUSEUM (ROM) today to see the world’s third largest cut diamond in the world. Yes, the kids and I (Josh had to be somewhere today, wah) journeyed out to the museum, and I was really proud of myself, I have to say. We could have stayed home — it was FREEZING outside today — or gone to the mall, or to the store to buy more of that makeup I ran out of. But, I decided instead to give ALL OF US an amazing experience.

Laaa…! Isn’t it beautiful?

The day was awesome. It released me from my rut. My cheaty little bundles of joy and I trekked all the way downtown. And, we had the best time. Together.

The diamond exhibit was really beautiful and interesting. I didn’t have enough time to thoroughly read all the information because, well — do I really have to spell it out? But I particularly enjoyed looking at the jewels from the middle ages and the Renaissance because I just love those time periods. I have yet to finish The Boleyn Inheritance…. I’ll pick it up again soon. Need to get back into the swing of reading again. I’ve been too drained lately. But, sometimes reading can really pick you up when your down, depressed and angry all the time! And, apparently, so can a trip to the museum. Nothing like a little culture!

One of the Monkey’s favourite areas of the diamond exhibit was the gift shop — where she got herself a gorj little necklace with an amethyst pendant just like the one her mama wears….

I love the amethyst because I find it very grounding. I wear one around my neck every day to keep myself centred and aware of the bigger picture of things. So, I was more than happy to give the monkey one of her very own!

Next, we went to the dinosaur exhibit….

The monkey was SO into it. We had an awesome time learning about dinosaurs together. Her favourite dinosaur was the “Gordo”….

I, personally, connected to the T-Rex, of course…. How original of me….

Did you know that the T-Rex apparently had FEATHERS? How wild is that? Gordo’s keeper told me dinosaurs evolved into birds of today — hence the feathers. T-Rex and chickens are distant relatives! I know, AWESOME.

As for the Rascal, poor little guy SLEPT through the dinosaur exhibit. He didn’t see a single dino. But, he did get a lot of attention. At least THIRTY people asked me if I realized Rascal lost a shoe. NO. NO, I DIDN’T KNOW THAT. AND, YES, YOU ARE THE FIRST PERSON TO TELL ME THIS….THE VERY FIRST.

He finally woke up when we were in Egypt. I love Ancient Egypt….

My camera battery died in Egypt, so I have a full-on mummy corpse in my pinkberry…. I don’t know why I was compelled to take the picture. It was CREEPY. I think I may just delete that picture right now….

Speaking of CREEEEEEPY (and excellent segues), check the little monkeys on Halloween!

Shrek and a mouse. They both wore their costumes THE WHOLE DAY. I loved it.

The Monkey LOVED Halloween and really got into it. Rascal, on the other day, was having just another day — IN a Shrek costume — but he managed to score a LOLLIPOP! He took off the wrapper HIMSELF and started sucking on it!

OY! SO CUTE. Smart little dude!

Yes, Josh-O is wearing a buffalo hat. I wore a kitty cat, of course….

Minden and I gave out candy while Josh-O took the kids went trick-or-treating. Never mind the kids, MINDEN had the time of his life! Sure, he was a little confused and, erm, bug-eyed….

But, he stayed by me the whole time. Look, LOVE EYES….

And, finally, that pumpkin Josh-O spent EONS on? Fabulous….

Hope you all had a great Halloween!

What did YOU do this weekend? Any adventures? I need ideas! Must be more adventurous in life!

xo Haley-O