Now, please, I’ll be okay, Gorgeouses! I’ll figure this out. The 4am bedtime last night was ONLY because it was Father’s Day. I couldn’t send the kids off with Josh for the morning and do my work, as I usually do if necessary on Sundays, and our family party ended way late. I didn’t get to work until 10pm-ish, by the time the kids were tucked in….

So, yes, I’m going to bed. ASAP. I just wanted to stop in and tell you how HELLISH this day was — gotta write this for myself, really, because I need to get this out of my system so I can maybe clear my head, relax and have a good night’s sleep.

Because I’m functioning on 2 hrs of sleep, we’re going point form, BABY! — ooo, bullets! fancy! I didn’t realize I had that formatting option, LOVE! (AND, the bullets don’t work…EDIT.)

- Nanny Rachel took the day off today (she gave me TONS of notice, of course, cuz she’s that awesome).
- Thought I would take the kids out, maybe to the giant bookstore, or Casa Loma.
- We were all TRES excited about the day.
- But, then I realized I had to deliver some art first thing in the morning….
- And, then I realized I had a conference call at 12:30.
- And, then I realized I had an ASAP deadline for some bTrendie copy.
- And, then I realized I still had to finish the post I started at Canada Moms Blog before it got published with how many typos and unfinished thoughts?
- So, instead of Casa Loma, we spent the morning in the living room.
- Rascal sat on my lap.
- I typed copy one-handed.
- Rascal choked on some cereal, like, for real!
- I whacked the crap out of his back until he could breathe again.
- Then I thanked God I didn’t have to dig into the deep recesses of my mind for memories of the infant-Heimlich course I took 3 years ago, AND, of course, FOR SAVING RASCAL!
- The rest of the day was beyond struggling.
- My heart spent most of the day outside my chest, pounding it like Tarzan. AAAAaaaAAaaAAAaaa!
- I guiltfully and regretfully relied on Igor to babysit the kids while I met my deadlines (NANNY RACHEL, I NEED YOU!).
- ALL AT ONCE: I gave the kids lunch in the front yard; had a conference call with my bTrendie peeps; answered the door to a Kids Deserve Art client — I, frazzled with frizzy hair, no makeup, and cat-hair covered Lululemons….I HAVE NEVER!; and chased the kids; and chased the kids.
- Thank God for my neighbours.
- Thank God for the mute button on my phone.
- Especially since I had to take Monkey to the washroom at least twice during the call.
- No, she will not go to the washroom by herself.
- She’s scared.
- Of everything.
- We all napped for a bit after that.
- Rascal said BAGEL after that — “BAJAH.”
- We played with the neighbours after that.
- Thank God for my neighbours (and for bagels).
- Monkey was a handful (to put it mildly) throughout the manic Monday.
- She’s still awake.
- Yes, now.
- Sitting right here.
- Cuddling my neck (her signature quirk).
- Thank God for neck cuddles.

Tomorrow’s my last Ayurvedic appointment in this initial 5-day program. The treatment’s brought up a LOT of intense emotions for me, which I’m working hard to manage in the middle of all this chaos. I’ll tell you more about it, and I’ll finally RUN THE KRISTEN MA BEAUTY BOOK CONTEST, as soon as I get a spare minute. Until then, I’ll give you this: I highly recommend going to an Ayurvedic practioner (MINE, of course) as alternative therapy. I’ve basically commissioned him (and HOT-ARSE kickboxing teach, mmm…) to help me get the rest of my preggers weight off. BUT, you have to have an open mind, as well as open nostrils and ear holes…. And you have to be open for the odd wardrobe malfunction…. You have to trust this Indian Wizard Dr. Sharma and the age-old gifts of Ayurveda. Yeah, s’all good. So good. So part of my Yoga path. Something a little out there…and all FOR ME. Besides, Sharma’s totally loveable when you get to know him!

I’m too tired to post pics today — so, only one for the road….

LOVE! He loves his sister…. (That car looked A LOT smaller at the Toys ‘R US….)

FIRST FIRST. I have to mention a very important person: Cathy. The very first Kids Deserve Art artist. Look what she worked SO HARD on — to get out in ONE day so a little girl would have it on her birthday….

(As the wise old woman who taught me to teach yoga used to say in thick French accent…) CLOSER-CLOSER….

The little girl’s name is MADISON. How CEWWWT is that? Way to go, Cathy!

My little company Kids Deserve Art has been BU-SY lately. And we’re proud to say we’re having a great presence at two major Toronto children’s charities this month: earlier this month, we rocked the Silent Auction at Sunday in the Park with Lilah and, later this month, we’ll be rocking the Silent Auction at Bike for Tykes. I’m obviously really proud to be involved in these charities. Look for us at Bike for Tykes at the end of the month!

NEXT ITEM! My day (and night) job, bTrendie is sponsoring the MamaPop BlogHer party…. Check…IT:

See us? In the banner! Isn’t it pretty? SPARKLES! I have yet to put it on my sidebar. But, isn’t it GORJ? We’re also sponsoring the PEOPLE’S PARTY, and we have HOT-ARSE (that’s a hint) surprises in store for the Room 704 party. Yes, the company for which I am DIRECTOR, MEMBERSHIP & COMMUNITY is officially TAKING OVER BLOGHER.

And, whatchoo tellin’ me? You haven’t joined yet? DUDE? Support CHEATY! Heh. If you want to join, go to bTrendie and use ma code: CHEATY to get in. Love! …and thanks.

Okay, enough shameless self-pimpin’. Time to pimp some other peeps. So, last Thursday, I took my mom “it’sgrandma” out for her birthday….

First, I took her to Kristen Ma‘s LAUNCH party for her NEW BOOK, Beauty 2.0: A Holistic Guide to Natural Beauty for the Modern Age:

And my mom was so proud when I was chatting with the author herself and taking many photographs with her to get one half-decent good photo (I is un-photogenic!)….

Look at it’sgrandma in the background there. SO PROUD of me. Heh. My hair, by the way, definitely did NOT look that unbrushed. Although, come to think of it, I did go to the launch straight from a full day at the office; so maybe it was that disheveled. And, will you look at Kristen’s SKIN? Wanna get that skin? (BIG PIMPIN’: ) I’M GIVING AWAY THREE AUTOGRAPHED Beauty 2.0 books — filled with all Kristen’s GOLDEN secrets — to give away over at GOODIES later this week…. If you can’t wait for our contest, you can buy one at Amazon….

Kristen is the co-owner of Pure and Simple, aka my second home and the ONLY skincare and cosmetics lines I TOUCH. With a 10-foot pole. Isn’t she gorj….

So, the launch was held at Pure and Simple. It was FABULOUS. There were gorj ayurvedic platters set out (in keeping with her book), CUPPING sessions, makeup artists, and an ayurvedic doctor….

…the very Ayurvedic Doctor who stuck his fingers up my nose. Dr. S. R. Sharma. I met him at the launch. Yes, he took my pulse and told me….

“YOU ARE DOMINATED BY KAPHA!”

So, of course, I made an appointment immediately. I mean, no wonder I’m STILL not at the weight I’d like to be since Rascal was born. No wonder I’m often sluggish and tired. No wonder! I’m DOMINATED by Kapha! (And, so you know, us yogis take our ayurveda very seriously….)

Sooo…, the next day, I went to see Dr. Sharma. He treats all the celebs, apparently, so I knew I was in good hands…. Check him (fully posing for the pic, by the way — I asked him to) studying my info:

LOVE! After I told him my life story (kind of like how this post is turning into a LIFE STORY – EGAD – I’m. still. writing.), and then some, he determined that I am DOMINATED BY KAPHA and have a slight VATA imbalance. So, he got me to lie on this bed….

…and he did all this cool energy work on me.

…including….

STICKING HIS FINGERS UP MY NOSE!

Of course, I wasn’t prepared for it. But, I’m a yogi. So, I maintained my SAVASANA pose. And, I ACTUALLY DID NOT REACT! I just lay there — still with a straight, relaxed face! I surprise myself! Also, I was too busy marveling at the strange, like, camphor smell and the COLD sensation inside my nose…. For the rest of the session, I was thinking about my COLD nose.

AFTER the session, I asked Dr. Sharma about my nose. What is that smell? Why is it cold? What did you put in there? He said “NOTHING”! Apparently, he put NOTHING in my nose. He simply moved the energy around to create the sensation. And, then, when I thought of it? I realized the smell was the that dang CRACK I’m addicted to — STARBUCKS CHAI TEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I think that’s enough exclamation marks.)

He told me to look at his fingers, smell them. NOTHING. There was NO balm on them. NO trace of chai balm on them, Gorgeouses!

When I got home, my nose was still cold on the inside, especially when I wiggled it. So, I asked Josh to smell my nostrils. Were there any fumes emanating from them? NO. None.

So, anyway, to make a long story short(er)…. I have to go back to the centre for 5 days in a row for a FULL-ON cleanse. Wish me luck. Sharma better not stick his fingers anywhere else without warning. Eek! You never know! He wouldn’t! Right…!?

Okay, so, I’ll keep you posted on how that goes. Time for bed. And someone’s calling my name….

“MAMAHHHH!”

He’s teething. Looks like it’s going to be ANOTHER night of no sleep.

Stay tuned for the big BEAUTY BOOK contest. Coming later this week. Maybe even tomorrow, if I’m not too Kaphic….

Love!

xo Haley-O

The show’s winner was Nicholas (NICO) Archambault, the seriously GORJ contemporary dancer from Montreal, who was a favourite from the very beginning. Here are Nico and Miles doing their guy-guy dance in the final four showdown. The style is called “Capoeira.” Check it!

CONGRATULATIONS, MILES! We love you and look forward to cheering you on throughout your successful and exciting career. Thanks for dancing for us these weeks. It’s been a TRUE HONOUR and GIFT to watch your dream unfold before our eyes ON NATIONAL TV. (I can’t say that enough.) LOVE!

Thank you ALL so much for your awesome (and passionate) recommendations for exercise videos. I got so desperate today that I dragged my sorry arse over to the giant book store and bought Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred.

As soon as I got home, I slipped it into the DVD player and WENT FOR IT. And, what do you know, JUMPING JACKS within the first HALF A minute of the workout. That can’t be safe — especially if you’re NOT wearing the right bra for that, ahem. But, who cares, because I was basically sweating from the first half-minute to the last 10 seconds — just about half an hour, the PERFECT amount of time for me to workout (aka the LONGEST I can keep my kids off of me…, sort of.)

So, the DVD was pretty good. A GREAT workout (even if not the safest). It’s a circuit training program: a mix of cardio, strength training and ab work, in that order. There are three levels of difficulty, so I shouldn’t get TOO bored. I did Level 1, and it was JUST FINE thankyouverymuch. When I DO get bored, if not before then, I’m taking a lot of your advice and trying out THESE two:

Turbo Jam….

…and the DANCING WITH THE STARS workout DVD….I may just cave and buy it RIGHT NOW….

Anyway, I was happy with today’s workout. The vid’s a little monotonous. The music is pretty-much non-existent. But Jillian Michaels is tray motivating, and she and the two girls demonstrating the moves have serious abs, which is DEFINITELY inspirational. And, it’s all about the inspirational if we’re going to do this thing…. If we’re going to do this thing…every day. Wish me luck!

The only real “problem” was a certain someone — we’ll just call him “RASCAL”. But, said PROBLEM may have worked to my benefit (we’ll see how I feel tomorrow morning). Jumping jacks and skip-rope with a 20-pound toddler (if he’s EVEN 20 pounds yet…) in your arms has GOT to have its benefits….

There was something else I was going to talk about, but I forget what it was! Oh well, in the meantime, check my new button from the GORJ MRS. FLINGER (WHO, by the way, was one of the two designers responsible for the gorjness of THIS VERY SITE!)….

Isn’t it GREAT? I’m so fahklempt about this! Not only did she make the button for me, but she’s posted it on her website, honouring Kids Deserve Art as one of her “Santa’s Little Helpers: Products and People We Love.” I didn’t ask for this, and I’m blown away by the love and generosity. THANK YOU, MRS. FLINGER! MWAH!

Love!
xo Haley-O

Enough about that! I’m going to TRY to do something constructive here. And, then I’m going to bed. Early. Just after I watch The Tudors and my recording of The Hills Aftershow because I NEED TO KNOW HOW THE HILLS ENDED LAST NIGHT! Not that it was edge-of-your seat action or anything. I’m just hooked like that. S’all.

So, the Monkey’s CRAZY about Mister Maker….

You’d probably like him, actually — he makes the CRAZIEST things, and he makes it look SO EASY, and NO-MESS. It’s a DREEEEAM!

I actually love it, too. It’s so relaxing to watch….

Anyway, we watched it this afternoon, and the Monkey was mesmerized and INSPIRED, as usual. As soon as the show was over, she got out her materials and began pretending SHE was Mister Maker. She brought as many materials as she could hold onto the couch…. Greeeeaaaat….

I don’t think so, Monkey! I managed to move her and her materials (which included invisible markers, ahem) to her little table, where she started the show….

“Thirst thing’s thirst, everybody,” announced the Monkey, “we needa cut da shapes.” The Monkey has a bit of a situation with her “F”‘s, you see. It seems they’ve taken a vacation and have been, temporarily we hope, replaced by “TH.” So, check how she sings one of her favourite songs, everyone’s favourite…, “Monkey’s on the Bed”:

“Two little monkey’s jumping on the bed. One thell oth and bumped his head!”

It’s classic. I love it. OY!

Wanna know the Monkey’s middle name? It’s “Thaith.” It’s Monkey Thaith O_____.

Ahem, AS we were saying….

“Thirst’s thing’s thirst. We needa cut da shapes, everybody!”

I’ll fill in the rest…. Next, we glue a stick….

And we’re done! An AMAZING craft in MINUTES!

AMAZING! Mister Maker couldn’t have done it better himself. RIGHT, Gorgeouses!!! Right.

On the other side of the camera, someone else is learning to draw….

Only he insists on holding the pen upside down. Poor little rascal. He’ll get it one day….

Speaking of art…, have you noticed the NEW ART at Kids Deserve Art? In addition to the fabulous and affordable genuine paintings (I’M SHAMELESS) done NOT BY ME but by a hugely talented and prolific artist in BC Canada, I am now representing Jennifer Elliot and her beautiful whoobie | fine art for kids…. Check it….

Isn’t it GORRRJ!? I’m really excited to expand the gallery to incorporate another talented artist — both to give her the exposure and to grow the business! TRAY exciting. Check out my store and see if you like the stuff! They make GREAT gifties! Thanks so much….

And, now, because I WUV you SO MUCH, I give YOU a GIFTIE…!!!

It’s….

Are you ready??….

MINDEN IN A BOWL!!!!!!!

OY! Can you STAND it?

Also, popcorn over at the KITCH….
Also, also Halloween contest over at GOODIES….

Tomorrow, I’ll feel better, right?

LOVE! xo Haley-O

It’s not perfect YET (I still have A LO-HO-HOT of work to do on it), but it’s a HELLOVA lot cleaner and more user-friendly. And, I’m thinking, if people were shopping there as it WAS (i.e., embarrassing), imagine how much better business will be as it now IS (i.e., GORJ). Here’s hoping. I owe the artist AT LEAST a nice website. She is phenomenal, Gorgeouses. If you knew how hard this woman works…. Really, she’s one of the most talented people I know. I HOPE SHE KNOWS I’m in total awe of her…. LOVE!

Anyway, I wasn’t going to write at all tonight because MY NECK HURTS from all this art SHOPPE designing, and I feel like just chillin’ for the night. But, I DO have a few things to share…. Check it:

1. HAIRCUTS! Rascal had his first haircut today! And, now, I can’t even LOOK at the little sucker (weaning him, by the way, OFFICIALLY next week hallelujah) without covering him in sloppy kisses. The CUTENESS — it is RIDICULOUS….

BEFORE:

This is a weird looking picture! He’s on a play horse. I’m holding him up by his shirt while photographing…!

DURING:

AFTER:

EEEeee! I can’t HANDLE it! I swear, Gorgeouses! I’m going to give him some sort of complex because I JUST CAN’T HANDLE THE CUTENESS!

And, the MONKEY got hers cut, too….

BEFORE (Eeeek! Poor thing looks like nobody LOVES HER!):

DURING:

AFTER (Looks like nothing was cut, but THE KNOTS ARE GONE THE KNOTS ARE GONE!):

Can I just ask, though? What is a THREE-YEAR-OLD doing with THAT HAIR! It’s crazy thick and gorj! And, for someone who lives on Jello, cookies and dry cereal…, it’s so LUSTROUS!

2. Some things are meant to be…. I was walking the Rascal, and we passed a bunch of FREE BOOKS on someone’s lawn…. I found THIS GEM:

A peek inside….

It says…: “Hooded Cobra on the ground / Won’t you raise your diamond crown / High into a morning breeze / That blows so sweetly through the trees.” Beautiful, beautiful book…

3. I realized today that a bunch of romaine lettuce lasts A LOT LONGER in the fridge than pre-cut, pre-washed lettuce. Just saying…. (Now, I could surf google images for the perfect picture of romaine lettuce to put here, but, my bed is calling me…. So, let’s just use our BRILLERS imaginations!)

[PICTURE OF ROMAINE LETTUCE BUNCH]

[PICTURE OF PREWASHED PLASTIC CONTAINER OF ROMAINE LETTUCE, PREFERABLY ROTTING]

4. I BAKED MUFFINS!

I love baking muffins because THE KIDS LOVE THEM. And, when I get my act together, I’ll update Cheaty Kitchen with a post explaining EXACTLY why I love that I made muffins. Something to do with my INABILITY TO FEED MY KIDS LIKE A NANNY. Ever notice how WELL-FED kids with nannies are? Anyway, we have MUFFINS now! I just used an organic mix this time — but, of course, I added banana puree to it…. CHEATY!

5. Minden is officially a LAP CAT now….

That pink and black MOUND there is MY BREASTSES. I’m hoping that this week’s official WEANING will put an end to their GINORMITY.

YAWN!

Yes, that would be my macbook and this post pre-publication…. Minden sits on my lap between me and it…. Because he’s MY NUMBER ONE and wants everyone and -thing to know it.

6. Rascal is sleeping through the night. And, I say that without FEAR OF THE JINX. I decided last week that I physically and mentally couldn’t do the not-sleeping-AT-ALL thing anymore. So, I LET HIM CRY. I figured, he’s one year old already (well, on Tuesday), so he knows the deal. It took two days of him (and me) crying for ONLY TWENTY MINUTES at 4:30 in the morning. And, that was it. Little dude sleeps through the night now. And, so do we all. Can I get a “HALLELUJAH”!

Have a great Monday, Gorgeouses, and DO NOT FORGET to set your PVRs up for the NEW PARIS HILTON reality show.

It looks FANTASTIC! Heh — you know I love QUALITY reality TV!!! And, you know YOU do, too! LOVE!

xo Haley-O