The Business | Cheaty Monkey

Fahklempt, Gorgeouses! I am FAHKLEMPT. And, a little bit EXHAUSTED from doing EXHAUSTIVE work on my online art shoppe (”shoppe” sounds so much more chic than “store” or even “gallery.”) I’ve been working on the Kids Deserve Art website ALL weekend — pretty-much non-stop. I mean, if you saw the website before this weekend? You’d agree that it’s a wonder anyone ever bought anything there BECAUSE — although the art is AMAZING — the site itself was A DISASTER. Notice I said “was”?

It’s not perfect YET (I still have A LO-HO-HOT of work to do on it), but it’s a HELLOVA lot cleaner and more user-friendly. And, I’m thinking, if people were shopping there as it WAS (i.e., embarrassing), imagine how much better business will be as it now IS (i.e., GORJ). Here’s hoping. I owe the artist AT LEAST a nice website. She is phenomenal, Gorgeouses. If you knew how hard this woman works…. Really, she’s one of the most talented people I know. I HOPE SHE KNOWS I’m in total awe of her…. LOVE!

Anyway, I wasn’t going to write at all tonight because MY NECK HURTS from all this art SHOPPE designing, and I feel like just chillin’ for the night. But, I DO have a few things to share…. Check it:

1. HAIRCUTS! Rascal had his first haircut today! And, now, I can’t even LOOK at the little sucker (weaning him, by the way, OFFICIALLY next week hallelujah) without covering him in sloppy kisses. The CUTENESS — it is RIDICULOUS….

BEFORE:

This is a weird looking picture! He’s on a play horse. I’m holding him up by his shirt while photographing…!

DURING:

AFTER:

EEEeee! I can’t HANDLE it! I swear, Gorgeouses! I’m going to give him some sort of complex because I JUST CAN’T HANDLE THE CUTENESS!

And, the MONKEY got hers cut, too….

BEFORE (Eeeek! Poor thing looks like nobody LOVES HER!):

DURING:

AFTER (Looks like nothing was cut, but THE KNOTS ARE GONE THE KNOTS ARE GONE!):

Can I just ask, though? What is a THREE-YEAR-OLD doing with THAT HAIR! It’s crazy thick and gorj! And, for someone who lives on Jello, cookies and dry cereal…, it’s so LUSTROUS!

2. Some things are meant to be…. I was walking the Rascal, and we passed a bunch of FREE BOOKS on someone’s lawn…. I found THIS GEM:

A peek inside….

It says…: “Hooded Cobra on the ground / Won’t you raise your diamond crown / High into a morning breeze / That blows so sweetly through the trees.” Beautiful, beautiful book…

3. I realized today that a bunch of romaine lettuce lasts A LOT LONGER in the fridge than pre-cut, pre-washed lettuce. Just saying…. (Now, I could surf google images for the perfect picture of romaine lettuce to put here, but, my bed is calling me…. So, let’s just use our BRILLERS imaginations!)

[PICTURE OF ROMAINE LETTUCE BUNCH]

[PICTURE OF PREWASHED PLASTIC CONTAINER OF ROMAINE LETTUCE, PREFERABLY ROTTING]

4. I BAKED MUFFINS!

I love baking muffins because THE KIDS LOVE THEM. And, when I get my act together, I’ll update Cheaty Kitchen with a post explaining EXACTLY why I love that I made muffins. Something to do with my INABILITY TO FEED MY KIDS LIKE A NANNY. Ever notice how WELL-FED kids with nannies are? Anyway, we have MUFFINS now! I just used an organic mix this time — but, of course, I added banana puree to it…. CHEATY!

5. Minden is officially a LAP CAT now….

That pink and black MOUND there is MY BREASTSES. I’m hoping that this week’s official WEANING will put an end to their GINORMITY.

YAWN!

Yes, that would be my macbook and this post pre-publication…. Minden sits on my lap between me and it…. Because he’s MY NUMBER ONE and wants everyone and -thing to know it.

6. Rascal is sleeping through the night. And, I say that without FEAR OF THE JINX. I decided last week that I physically and mentally couldn’t do the not-sleeping-AT-ALL thing anymore. So, I LET HIM CRY. I figured, he’s one year old already (well, on Tuesday), so he knows the deal. It took two days of him (and me) crying for ONLY TWENTY MINUTES at 4:30 in the morning. And, that was it. Little dude sleeps through the night now. And, so do we all. Can I get a “HALLELUJAH”!

Have a great Monday, Gorgeouses, and DO NOT FORGET to set your PVRs up for the NEW PARIS HILTON reality show.