Gotta love Herbert from Family Guy!

Hmmm…, let’s check our phone messages. See who called while I was working out earlier (to my new AWESOME Turbo Jam DVD — it is, indeed, as amazing and addictive as Marie-Christine said, and you NEED to check it)….

Dialing… *98. Here we go.

“You have 1 new message. Sent today at 2:23pm.”

Wonder who it is? Maybe it’s it’sgrandma? Hmmm…. Excitement. Most excitement had all day with two moody Monkeys…. Let’s listen:

Hi Haley. It’s K from across the street. And I know what YOU’RE doing. I just had my cataract operation, which is probably why I can see right into your window. And, you’re working out! Good thing you’re wearing clothes, heh. Don’t do too much, okay. Oh my, Glen is laughing at what I’m saying on the phone here. Happy Holiday. See you soon. Hopefully very soon.

AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH! Gorgeouses…. It’s K again. Remember her? My old-lady neighbour from across the street who drove me BONKERS when I was 35 weeks preggers with the Rascal? Well, I’ve been a nice girl — doing groceries for her and cooking her a home-cooked meal when she was wheel-chair ridden for 6 weeks after a friendly dog knocked her down, and giving her a lift when I see her walking, etc., etc…. People should DEFINITELY help their elderly neighbours. But, THIS is what I get in return? More stalkage? I WANT NOTHING in return. NOTHING. Except my privacy. At least when I’m working out. ESPECIALLY when I’m working out. And, maybe the good karma (never hurts)?

It was bad enough that I had to stop my 45-minute workout midway to change a diaper and take a monkey to the washroom. But, then someone ELSE is watching me, pestering me? I need that like I need to watch ANOTHER episode of The Backyardigans. Double AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!

I probably sound awful. Like a horrible, agist person. But, how am I going to workout in my living room again. HOWWW?

And, that workout was so much fun….

Josh-O, of course, thinks it’s no big deal that K was watching and CALLING to tell me. But, I still have preggers weight to lose. A considerable amount, I think, and I want to do it with dignity, and without SPIES. Grrrrr….

I love elderly ladies. Really. But, this one is SUPER annoying. I can’t even TELL YOU! Her husband Glen is even worse: “You’re going to get a stroke from not getting enough sleep, you know. I’m telling you. You’re not too young. Better watch that.” Yeah, great conversation piece there….

Image, with thanks, c/o Astrosense.

So, that’s my rant. I’m really happy 2008′s coming to a close. It was a tough year, as most numerologists and astrologists would attest. Lots of cleansing and ridding — which means lots of frustration and angst, and depression if your birthday’s between March 10 and March 17 or between September 10 (me!) and September 17, apparently — something to do with Saturn and the Sun…. According to my charts (and those of you with one of the aforementioned birthdays), I’ve been depressed for 2 years, and things should look up 2 months from now. HOLLAHHH!

I MAY have a chai tea latte tomorrow and start my NO CHAI resolution on January 1st. As Renee recommended, I’m going to put a little ticker tape thing in the sidebar to help me. Look out for that!

Oh, and many of you asked: WHY QUIT THE CHAI — thine ONLY adulty saving grace in a day full of MONKEY!? Because it’s full of sugar and caffeine. It messes with my moods. I also don’t drink milk; so, I go for the soy. And, there’s a ton of soy milk in those drinks. And, Starbucks’ soy milk contains even more sugar (organic cane sugar, but still), and a controversial substance called carrageenan.

Basically, as a vegan, I need to make healthier choices. A Starbucks Soy No Water Tazo Chai is breakfast for me (it’s extremely filling). And, that’s just bullocks. One of my goals for 2009 is to not depend on food to lift my mood. Because, when I use food that way, I inevitably CRASH because of it. I don’t know what’s happened to me…. Maybe my bod’s reacting to the Earth’s changing vibrations (NEW AGEY, I know). But, I’m so emotionally sensitive to food these days. When I eat better, I feel better….

And, now, your gratuitous kitty pic…. He sleeps!

HAPPY, HEALTHY, GORJ NEW YEAR, GORGEOUSES!

Love!
xo Haley-O

It’s a sentimental one today. I’m in that kind of mood. Not having a computer all day (until Josh-O came home with his blessed laptop) will do that to a girl….

I just want to say that, you know Gorgeouses, sometimes the greatest gifts come from the most unexpected places, at the most unexpected times….

I’ve been feeling so disconnected lately and, literally, cut off. I’ve been working a lot on myself — not only for me, but for THE CHILDREN — and I’m at a place where I can determine EXACTLY what I’m feeling and experiencing. Sounds weird, I know. But, not really. Weird was today: me guessing an acquaintance of mine was seeing someone new after A LONG break in the romance department, and that his name was — get this — “J.R.” Okay, so how freaky is that? Anyway, I can read myself very well now (and apparently others!). And, every ounce of my being was screaming “CUT OFF” today.

Of course, my broken-computer situation was further confirmation that I am, indeed, CUT OFF. Disconnected, literally, from my internet friends, and missing that much-needed feeling of connection that I get when I turn it on in the middle of my toddler-filled day.

You know what, though? I kind of liked it. For some SICK reason, I wanted to wallow in it a little.  Because, somehow, feeling disconnected forced me to reconnect with myself. And, I was liking it. Like, “hey, Cheaty, long-time-no-see! I’LL be your friend. Wanna hang out?”

So, I was going to just wallow by myself for the morning instead of going to yoga class. Kids were taken care of — the Monkey at school, and the Rascal with it’sgrandma….

But, then I remembered a card I drew for myself last night, from Lisa Hunt’s beautiful Animals Divine Tarot Deck. I like to draw a card from this very positive deck as a tool for my evening meditation (told you I’ve been working on myself!). The card is supposed to inform my dreams and serve as a spiritual theme for the next day. I was lucky this time. I drew the luckiest card in the deck: The 9 of Cups…. Salmon jumping out of the deep dark waters (of the unconsciouseses), cups over flowing-eth….

This card is from the Animals Divine Tarot deck, by Lisa Hunt. Image ©Lisa Hunt.

Beautiful card…. I love Lisa Hunt’s work. So the Nine of Cups is often about GIFTIES! Whatever you want? It’s YOURS. LOVE it. But, when I woke up the next morning, I was definitely NOT feeling happy-go-lucky! No. I was feeling DISCONNECTED, “CUT OFF”! So, what’s with THE CARD?

As I would soon discover, the gift was in that disconnection, in the resulting reconnection with myself.

At 9am this morning, in my sorry state, I dragged myself to yoga class. All I wanted to do was be ALONE with myself. But, I knew I had to go.

I went. I decided I’d be totally quiet in the class. The teacher encourages discussion, and I always judge myself harshly after I blurt out my contributions…. So compulsive. And, of course, I couldn’t stay silent. I spoke: something about the effects of “bee breath” on the brain…. But, I didn’t judge myself this time.

AMAZING things happened in this class. I lay there. I breathed. I meditated. I spoke without self-judgment. And, I opened my heart: from standing, I lifted up and bent over backwards into wheel/chakrasana….

I haven’t done that in years — because I always think my technique isn’t strong enough, and I worry about my weak wrists (after two carpul-tunnel-filled pregnancies). But, I did it. I had nothing to lose and I DID IT. GIFTY. Like the salmon exploding out of the dark waters, I exploded up and out of myself into this beautiful, heart-opening pose. And, I felt a rush of love for everyone, every thing….

By 10am, my day had turned around. 180°. I felt compassion. For everyone. For myself.

And, while Monkey spent the afternoon with it’sgrandma, Rascal and I cuddled and played and giggled the day away. I didn’t need anything else. No computer, no pinkberry, no phone. Just the two of us.

I believe we sat together for a whole HOUR during lunch. Just giggling and eating together….Later, I cashed a sweet check (GIFTY), we DROVE to the park down the street, and I pushed the little CUTIE on the swing — one of his favourite things.

When Monkey came home, we all played: tea party, lego, dancing…. Until it was time to make a very special dinner (when I get my computer back, I’ll post it on Cheaty Kitchen — it was a HIT!).

It was a BEAUTIFUL day. Cups. Overfloweth.

Out of the dark depths of disconnection — SPLASH — explosion into joy, love, laughter and dance. And, man, did we dance.

So, I’ve been reading TAROT cards now. OOOoooOOOoooOOO! Aren’t I BRAVE! And, aren’t I DARK! And, shouldn’t you all be AFRAID very AFRAID.

Oh. You still here?

No. Seriously. The tarot are NOT what people think they are — at least if you use them like I do. If you use them like I do, they can be your best friend, and a very effective, beautiful tool for meditation, self-exploration and -discovery. And, they can be a lot of fun. INDEED, they were created, as far as we know, for fun — as a game in the 16th-century Italian court.

So, I guess I can now tell you what I was doing in Chi-Chi-ville, in my Lulus, that day in September…. I was having a PRIVATE tarot reading class by THE Lisa Marvin (you may have seen her on MTV Canada) — a birthday gift from Josh-O, believe it or not! Lisa is awesome, and it was a lot of fun.

Now, I’m continuing my lessons with my brillers friend Lyn from Wizard and Witch. She’s the sweetest person, and she does the most illuminating and insightful readings. She has an enthusiasm and love for the cards that really inspires me. AND WE HAVE A HALLOWEEN CONTEST GOING ON OVER AT GOODIES THAT YOU MUST CHECK. It’s ALLLLLL GOOOOOOD!

One of these days, I’ll be offering readings myself. I just want to make sure I know what I’m doing. I’ll know when the time is right. I know my style of reading will be healing — in line with the yoga I teach and practice — identifying goals, dreams, obstacles, and best courses of action for a beautiful future…. Kind of like spiritual coaching.

I know it’s a little unconventional. But, the cards have really added elements of enchantment, self-trust and understanding to my life. It’s amazing, beautiful.

In the meantime, SOMEBODY’S WALKING…!!!

Sure, he needs a little help…. I give him A WEEK before he’s walking on his own. That’s not the cards talking. That’s mother’s intuition…. LOVE!

xo Haley-O!

Now, go check GOODIES to enter our exciting Halloween CONTEST!

Credits: The Strength card is from the Animals Divine Tarot deck. And, the 10 of Cups card is from the Universal Waite.

I had a post in mind for this evening. Something about my “detox” plan? But, then I got sidetracked by all the fabulous responses to Tuesday’s Oprah show, which inevitably led me to MORE information that my already-vegan-sensibilities just CANNOT HANDLE. So, I’m just going to say a few things today….

FIRST THING’S FIRST: LEGS CROSSED….

He ALWAYS crosses his li’l ankles when he eats. OY!

Next, let us address the whole detox thing. Let me start by saying DETOX IS A NASTY FOUR-LETTER WORD. I know, it’s five, but it may as well be these four letters: D-I-E-T. It’s become a fancy way of going on a diet for a short period of time, when WHAT I REALLY NEED right now (because I’m a severely overtired MOM OF TWO cheaty little monkeys) is a lifestyle adjustment. So, here’s what I’ve come up with — a plan for the next 20 pounds (to be relaxed a bit after that):

1. FRUIT FOR BREAKFAST. I am now eating a breakfast, WHEN HUNGRY, of fruit, fruit, and more fruit. I started today out with a pear (which was, amazingly, the best pear I’ve ever tasted, if you catch my drift), then I had an apple when I got hungry again about an hour later. Would you believe I had NO cravings for THE DEVIL my Starbucks Soy No-Water Chai Tea Latte.

2. I AM trying to buy as much organic, WHOLE produce as possible. This means that I have to buy things WHOLE — because they are less expensive, and SOMETIMES less expensive than their conventional, chopped alternatives. So, today, instead of buying a bag of frozen chopped broccoli, I bought a head of organic broccoli and chopped it when I got home. I also hulled and washed organic strawberries (they’re GONZO now). I stayed away from the blueberries because their price was OBSCENE. I actually enjoyed doing all this. We all say we don’t have time for these things, but it really doesn’t take long, and it’s time well spent — time dedicated to your health, the health of your family, and ultimately the environment. Gorgeouses, I also, erm, got REALLY AMBITIOUS and bought a BIG BUTTERNUT SQUASH. I REALLY hope it doesn’t REMAIN a centerpiece on our dining-room table….

…Josh-O CRACKED ME RIGHT UP when he called it a GOURD! Ha! I think that’s my new favourite word. GOURD! GOURD GOURD GOURD GOURD GOURD. Did you know there’s actually a SOCIETY for GOURDS in Canada???

3. I’m definitely trying to eat clean, and eat whole. Lunch was vegetarian brown-rice sushi. Not an every-day thing, but definitely a vegan option that ANYONE can enjoy. And, dinner was BIG SALAD, and a brown-rice-pasta and tofu dish, which I’ll share at the kitch sometime this weekend. The monkeys and I snacked on fruit while preparing dinner, by the way (fruit should be eaten at least 20 before and 2 hours after other foods; melons should be eaten alone — it’s a food combining thing).

4. I skipped dessert tonight. There’s no dessert on this plan. Instead, I enjoyed a tazo chai tea (my fave chai brand) with rice milk, and sweetened with agave nectar. Not bad, not bad….

That’s basically the diet plan, in a nutshell. Ooo! Almost forgot….

5. A handful of nuts mid afternoon. Us vegans gots to get our good fats in there, and nuts are a great source for that. I also make sure to have flax oil in my salad dressing at dinner for it’s wonderful omega 3s. I’ll give you the recipe for that, as well, at the kitch this weekend.

6. Of course, there’s a multivitamin involved to ensure I’m getting enough calcium, B12 and vitamin D.

It all sounds a bit extreme, I think. But, it’s a way of life. And, I felt GREAT today. I can’t tell you how much better I feel having FINALLY given up dairy and eggs. After all, I’M not here to EAT. I’m here to LIVE. And, I need to feel good about what I’m eating. I’m also a very spiritual person. Eating clean like this feels right, feels authentic…. It’s my yoga. Just living my yoga.

FINALLY, I TOTALLY need more sleep. This has to be a HUGE part of my new lifestyle because it’s an integral part of being healthy. DREAMS are so important, and REM sleep, for the brain’s production of that coveted pleasure hormone serotonin. It’s the next piece of my wellness puzzle: first — diet (and at least thirty minutes of walking every day); second — sleep; third — meditation every day…. We’ll start with these goals and go from there.

It’s all a process. Nothing is set in stone. I’m just finally realizing that simplicity is where it’s at for me. Simplicity, less-is-more, and the beauty of life SANS ALL THE STIMULANTS. To think?!?

I am who I am…. Peace. Love.

xo Haley-O

So, I’m psychic now. (Work with me here.) I can’t tell the future or anything, mostly because I don’t believe the future’s set in stone. But, I’ve been more open to spiritual experiences. And, you know, the yoga and the stones and the meditation — all of it opens your mind up to experiences beyond the mundane.

It’s GREAT being psychic more spiritual, let me tell you. Life is TRAY more exciting. But, problem is, it’s affecting all my MACHINES. Like, for example, yesterday, I took Monkey and Rascal for a walk, and I had this, erm, experience, and WAMMO, my IPOD went bust. Oh, don’t worry — Josh fixed it, thankfully (for whatever would I do SANS IPOD?). And, then, today? Less than 24 hours after said experience occurred, my email — ALL MY EMAIL LIKE EVER — disappeared! I’m serious. I opened my email program to find the peeps from Microsoft inviting NEW EMAIL USER to set up NEW ACCOUNT. Sweet. NOT SWEET. Oh, don’t worry — Josh fixed it.

Speaking of Josh…. He has just watched two episodes of The Young and the Restless and, now, my favourite show — THE TUDORS — with me. It’s the least I could do to repay him for putting me through too many of HIS shows. My days of Fringe, Prison Break, Dextor, and, what else, 88 MINUTES (can you believe he rented THAT for us, FOR ME?), ARE O-V-A-H OVAH! I fully blame 88 Minutes for that HORRIFYING nightmare I had the other night.

And, HENCE, you can BLAME Josh for yesterday’s intense and disturbing post because if we hadn’t been watching HIS Prison Break show, then I wouldn’t have searched for a picture of Wentworth Miller, and then I wouldn’t have found that HORRIFYING video, and I probably would be eating dairy and eggs still. But, alas, this is my fate: animal lover, animal helper. It’s no wonder that, on that walk I took with the Monkey and Rascal, I saw this beautiful cat (that looked just like my Simba!) way up high in the vines on the side of a house….

Do you see her? She’s in there somewhere. Here, try this pic….

See her? See the birds taunting her? Probably not…. They were sooo, like, “ha ha! come and get us!” It was WILD!

The cat’s owner joined us as we watched her — all of us hoping she’d make her way down. And, you know what the cat’s name is? Angel. That cat’s name is Angel….

I’ll leave you to deduce the beautiful, rather intricate, syncronicity of ALL of this (or not)…. It’s a stretch, but it’s there…. And, yeah, it was then that my Ipod went bust for the first time EVER.

And, it was shortly thereafter that I was hit over the head by my cause….

Anyway, I spent some time reading up on my new diet this morning. With Rascal. In bookstore. If you’re going to go vegan, you HAVE to make sure you’re getting all the nutrients, etc.. So, a little homework was in order. Homework, however, was not without its adorable distractions….

It wasn’t as relaxing as the previous picture suggests. The kid doesn’t sit still. Ever.

Did you see his lil Nikeys? He is TOO. MUCH.

By the way? GREAT day today. GREAT. He slept for 5 minutes. And Monkey crapped her pants while I was teaching yoga. The poor woman who was watching her was KIND enough to clean up the (warning: understatement) mess. I want to give her a little gifty. She’s not into Starbucks, but she does love reading books, so I’m thinking Big Bookstore (Chapters / Indigo in Canada) gift certificate?

P.S.: More updates to come on Cheaty Recommends. I have some little yoga pieces I want to share, for example, and some recent movie rentals. Will get to it pronto. And, to make helping my cause easier for everyone, and by popular demand (THANK YOU!), I’ll be posting several vegetarian recipes on Cheaty Kitchen also pronto. I have several contests lined up, as well, but am still in “just chillin’” mode….

As you know, Rascal turned one year today! It was so sweet. He’s such an unassuming little guy. He really doesn’t ask for much — aside from Mum Mums and me not sleeping. Yes, the other day, I thought I could bypass the JINX, but apparently not. I have poem:

Never ever ever
EVER
Tell anyone your baby is sleeping
Through the night

Because THAT SAME NIGHT,
He will SCREAM HIS CUTE
(SO CUTE)
WEE ARSE OFF

And said scream will physically
GRAB YOU BY THE HAIR
And DRAG YOUR SORRY
(SO SORRY)
Arse into his dark room

Where you find the
BLOND BOY
Sitting bolt upright
SCREAMING (at?) for you
Through closed door.

Anyway! Rascal had a great day. Except for the 15 minute afternoon nap I forced him to take. He hated it. Threw tantrums before and after. Picture little blond boy lying ON HIS BACK, BIG blue eyes sparkling with bulbous TEARS. Poor little guy just HATES SLEEPING. Life is gooooooooood. Heh.

So, great day. Best of all, it’sgrandma threw a party for Rascal. Family and some close family friends (who are basically our FAMILY) came to celebrate. It’sgrandma made SUCH a big deal — which was so special for me. I’m fahklempt just thinking about it. MY little boy. It was ALL for MY sweet, unassuming little boy. Fahklempt!

Check it…!

DECORATIONS!

My wine…. Actually, I don’t usually drink. Because, when I do, my tooth throbs. Yeah. Weird. Sucks. Anyway.

The birthday high chair!!! How sweet is THAT!?

So much food…. And, the Rascal LOVED it. Ate everything. Shoveled it…, which is why….

…he had to go topless most of the night….

Cake and kisses!

SO MANY GIFTS! (And, Daisy, my sister’s dog. I LOVE Daisy….)

Love…. And, SO LOVE how he spent his whole first birthday party half naked! Hee…!

Happy Birthday, my little Rascal — my little love. You are AMAZING and SWEET and WISE and WONDERFUL. I celebrate you every day. I love you beyond.
Love, Mama
PS: pleaseletmesleeptonight….

xo Haley-O

Cheaty can’t look at this picture EVER without welling up….

I lost my cat Simba in May, 2006 (it’s in my archives, if you’d like a good cry…). He was only 10 years old. We had to put him down because his kidneys failed. The vet put him down in my living room. On my lap.

I had a really hard time coping with Simba’s death. I just couldn’t COMPREHEND that I’d NEVER see him again. The concept of NEVER became so overwhelmingly clear to me. “DEATH” and “NEVER” became synonymous, and just so hard to register without feeling utterly hopeless and dejected.

I really thought I’d see him again, like, in my dreams. I couldn’t believe that my time with him was OVER. NEVER.

But, nights, months, years now went by and…nothing! Until last night.

Last night, I dreamed I saw him. It was SO VIVID, Gorgeouses…. He looked the same! So soft…. “Is that…Simba?” I remember asking myself. I went up behind him and reached out to touch him. He turned around and HISSED at me. HOSTILE! But, then, the awesome moment of recognition….

I really can’t remember what happened. Just that the hostility waned and there was that beautiful, shining moment of recognition. It was SO REAL. I feel like I MADE CONTACT!

SO…, of course, I bothered our favourite shaman with this…. Here’s what I asked him:

Hi Dr. Farmer!

I understand if you don’t respond, but I have to ask….

My cat passed away over a year and a half ago. I always thought I’d see him
again, but I haven’t — except vaguely in a dream or two, but I didn’t
really make a connection, like I did last night.

Last night, I dreamt I saw him. I approached him gently, and he was hostile
at first — hissing at me — but then it was like there was a moment of
recognition, and he was peaceful with me. I don’t remember much other than
the fact that the hostility waned.

Is this common? Did I make contact, so to speak? Did we, say, find each
other? Because that’s the feeling I have.

Thanks so much for your time,

Haley

And, here’s what beloved shaman wrote back:

Haley

Yes, you did! We soul travel in dreams, and those that are in spirit world, people and animals, do so as well. The hissing was because you surprised him. Probably didn’t expect to see you after so long. Glad that you could reconcile and visit with him this way.

Blessings,
Steven

Now I want to ask Steven what I DO with this! How to contact him again, and what does this MEAN! But, I don’t want to bother Steven (first-name basis!) with more questions. He IS famous and everything.

I’m new to all this spirit-guide stuff. But, this felt so AWESOMELY authentic. I had to share…. There’s more to life, Gorgeouses. MORE. TO. LIFE.

xo Haley-O

P.S.: If you think I’m crazy, I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. I told you the other day, I don’t know WHAT is getting into me lately with the crystals and the shamans and the dreams…. But, I DOTH like it!

We’re actually going to Medieval Times Restaurant and Tournament THIS WEEKEND to celebrate my birthday — i.e., not tonight, my birthday — because they’re only open on weekends. Just F.Y.I.

My birthday was, erm, not the best day I’ve ever had. I swear, the little Rascal is throwing me into postpartum depression. Have you noticed that yet? Have you been HEARING THE ALARM BELLS left right and centre? I just can’t take all this not sleeping. And, last night, he was a MONSTER. Screaming his lungs out all night. And, SHE. The monkey. She tore the house apart with her shrill night-terror shrieks.

Happy Birthday to ME!

I had no sleep.

And, today, my birthday, the babysitter couldn’t make it.

Happy Birthday to ME!

And, today, my birthday, A-HOLE dude at the [cannot say where because might get ANOTHER lawyer letter -- remember that?] told me I “SHOULD SAY THANK YOU” instead of pushing him to give me a WEE bit better of a deal on [something] that I, and everyone else on the planet, think I deserve to get for FREE. Patronizing A-HOLE. Of course, when he gave me that “YOU SHOULD SAY THANK YOU” line, I thanked him alright: “thank you for the lecture,” I said, and then walked off. Nobody messes with Cheaty. Sure, I probably made an arse of myself trying to bargain for such a teeny weeny amount. But, DUDE, I’m a stay-at-home mom, and COULDN’T WE AT LEAST MEET HALF WAY?

Happy Birthday to ME!

And, today, something I’ve been working on for a VERY long time got smashed and ruined.

Happy Birthday to ME!

I cried today. On my birthday. I couldn’t stop.

But, then, Josh brought cake….

And, the monkey helped him bring it to me — singing Happy Birthday with a huge smile on her face, wearing THIS (again):

And, my heart IT MELTED. Something called a “smile?” spread across my face….

And, then Rascal bumped his head…on the floor…or something, we’re not sure.

I did do one thing for myself today, though. I bought myself a crystal bracelet. Don’t get too excited — it was one of those cheapy $6 ones…. But, for some reason, I love it…. It feels…so me….

Of course, now the Monkey wants it, and the other pretty stones I bought and placed in a beautiful seashell on my night table — I needed to prettify that little night table, so it was the perfect self-gift. Also, I’m kind of into stones right now. They’re helping me with all this postpartum healing. Amid the chaos of my day, they help me ground and clear my mind for 5 minutes here and there…. It’s a yoga thing. I’ll share them with you tomorrow….

So, not exactly the happiest birthday. But, tears are purifying. And, notwithstanding the cake, I feel a little purified. Like I got a lot out of my system. Like 34 is going to be a GOOD YEAR!

No, A GREAT YEAR!

Thanks for all the awesome birthday wishes, Gorgeouses!

Love!
xo Haley-O

CONGRATULATIONS to KRISTEN on the birth of her BABY BOY!!! 8lb 12oz, 20 inches long! GO GIRL!

Don’t forget to enter the contest over AT GOODIES!

Okay, first of all, SORRY GORGEOUSES! I did not realize I’d shut off my comments to yesterday’s post! But, how apropos anyway…. The post was very personal, so it kind of made sense to close off comments. I didn’t realize they were closed until I got, like, a bunch of wonderful emails about POOP in my inbox. And, I was all, “why is everyone emailing me instead of commenting?” And, then I figured it out. I WOULD have turned the comments back on at that point, but I was LAZY. Anyway, SORRY about that. I LOVE to hear what you have to say ALL THE TIME — even when I’m a total grump.

Okay, SECOND of all, I HEARD BACK FROM THE SHAMAN! Yes, remember I CONTACTED THE FAMOUS SHAMAN the other day about Minden’s strange-o behaviour-o? Well, REMARKABLY, said FAMOUS SHAMAN replied back! And, here’s what he said (I love him):

Yes your cat is jealous of your new baby boy. What you do, and you might have to do this more than once, is sit and tell him with words and telepathically that you love him and that he has to make room for your new baby. Remind him that is not ok for him to kiss you in the middle of the night, but that you will be there to support him always. You might have to do this a few times, but once he sees that you are committed to both him and the baby, he should relax into his new role.

Blessings,

Steven

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Dr. Steven Farmer! I will do EXACTLY what you advised. In fact — HEY GORGEOUSES — let’s do it together right now. Here’s a picture of Minden….

Now, seriously, no joke, sit and tell Minden TELEPATHICALLY (since you’re doing this via the photo, of course) that YOU love him and that HIS MAMMA LOVES HIM. That’s all. I’ll take care of the rest. If we all do it, then Minden will feel HUGELY loved, AND HE’LL STOP KEEPING ME UP ALL NIGHT WITH ARDENT TONGUE KISSES.

I’m waiting, Gorgeouses {arms crossed tapping foot}……! Look into is EYESSSSESES….!!!

You think I’m joking, right? NO! I’m totally into this stuff these days. And, I love how close the shaman tradition is to nature and how in tune shamans are with animal intelligence. Very special.

And, then there’s the THIRD of all. Today (September 10th) is my birthday. I am SO not excited. I’ve become SO introverted in this, my old age (34). I seriously don’t want to do ANYTHING. But, Josh refused to listen to me and INSISTED I choose somewhere to go. SO, I chose this….

It seems I’m getting VERY BIZARRE in my old age, too! I know. But, anyway. It’s a past-life thing. I’m curiously attracted to the medieval times! And, yes, I realize — shamans, past lives — something is SERIOUSLY up with me. S’all good, though. I know. Because I’m psychic. Uh huh!

And, finally, FOURTH of all, I taught my first yoga class of the year today. It was TWICE the size of what I’m used to, but it was great. I’m drained TO THE MAX, but it was great.

Until tomorrow!

Peace, love, butterflies, rainbows, fairy dust, all that….

xo Haley-O

Welcome, Gorgeouses! WELCOME to the world of NO SLEEP. It’s right here, Baby. Right here.

And, it’s FABULOUS. Let me tell you. FABULOUS. I not only look SUPER HOTT, but I’m also SUPER PATIENT and all MOTHER-OF-THE-YEAR with my kids — especially the little Rascal with the 104° fever SOHELPMEGOD and all the wonderfully fragrant projectile barfing. LOVE!

Poor little guy….

So, I think it’s been around two weeks since I’ve had more than two consecutive hours of sleep. First it was because of the teething, and now it’s because of the teething and the “wild bug” (as Monkey frightfully calls it) he’s contracted.

And, it’s been two days of unrestrained anger.

Unrestrained anger. At the monkey (who LOVES it when Mama’s MAD, who loves MAKING Mama MAD), myself and the darn fruit flies that have invaded my house (ew!) and are freaking MATING in front of me.

Me. SWEET, earthy, verging-on-granola, yoga-teacher me? MAD MAD MAD. Blood-boiling MAD.

But, Gorgeouses, one thing yoga does — and is supposed to do when you practice regularly like moi — is make you aware of your emotions, reactions, and of what Pema Chödrön discusses at length in her writings, your shenpa (check that out, Gorgeouses, it’s fascinating).

I’m noticing anger, frustration, STRESS!

And, as yoga promises, when the problem is recognized, the solution surfaces as if magically….

And, there it was.

This afternoon, I was looking for books to sell on Amazon (because IRRITABLE MOI cannot TAKE the clutter everywhere). I was all set to sell my Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers….

….As I was flipping through the pages to see what kind of “condition” it’s in for selling, this passage caught my eye:

When you feel your blood starting to boil, leave the room. Give yourself a time-out. Even if your child is wailing, put her into a crib or playpen to keep her safe and remove yourself for a few minutes. I often tell parents, “No child ever died of crying, but many have been scarred for life by chronically angry parents.” (p. 239)

Wow. I’d never read that passage before. And, there it was. Popped up out of nowhere exactly when I needed it. I didn’t take it anxiously as a warning that I’d better stop getting angry at THE CHILDREN THE CHILDREN! Rather, I was RELIEVED by it. I’m not the only parent out there who experiences enough anger to drive herself into her bedroom to beat the carp out of a pillow (I learned that technique for anger management in yoga teacher training. Hee! It’s awesome.)

I called two of my stay-at-home-mom besties to ask them about their “mommy anger.” They, too, find themselves getting ANGRY all the time. “It gets worse as they get older,” one of them told me….

This is a BIG THING for parents, Gorgeouses! BIG. YUGE! It’s especially big for parents who are at home all day with the children and, like me, have such little time for themselves — OR PERSONAL SPACE.

I wanted to find blogs about it. Because, I wanted to connect with other moms experiencing the same thing. And, because, Gorgeouses, IT IS SO NOT ME TO BE MAD LIKE THIS! ANGER is NOT MY MIDDLE NAME. No. My middle name’s Rachel, and I like it thankyouverymuch. NO ANGER or VOICE-RAISING FOR ME! Scary Voice will NOT usurp my own shiny happy people voice. NOoooOOOooo!

Then I realized I had a blog…. So, here it is. ANGER. We all got it. We ALL got it when things are OUTTA CONTROL (which is often when you’re on little-to-no sleep and in charge of two rambunctious toddlers).

Why does this room look different? Any guesses? NO CARPET! Carpet is GONE. I couldn’t stand it anymore…. And, now, I feel SO much better. Imagine that!?!

So, here’s a good tip for managing anger from Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers:

Just as important as tuning in to your child’s moods is the knowledge of how you change when your child stamps her feet, says “no,” or has an out-and-out meltdown in public. I asked mothers how their bodies tell them they are about to lose it. If you don’t recognize yourself in any of the following, figure out what your physical anger cues are.

“I get hot all over.”

“I get hives.”

“I start to take it personally.”

“My heart beats faster.”

“it’s almost as if I stop breathing.”

“My chest starts heaving, and I breathe faster.”

“My palms sweat.”

“I start grinding my teeth.”

Yeah, it’s all about the recognition. The yoga…. It’s about becoming aware of what’s going on in your mind and consciously deciding to step outside it and change it.

Anger sucks. It leads to emotional eating for some of us (ahem), which, in turn, leads to depression for some of us (ahem YES YES YES lately!), to POOR ROLE MODEL for your children…. It’s all downhill. Fast.

But, I. I caught myself in the act. After two days of it. Pat on the back. I stopped myself dead in my tracks, as the roller coaster of anger was going down down down faster faster faster. Scrrreeeeeeeee.

LOOK, NO HANDS!

Stop. Breathe. Not me.

After reading that pivotal passage in The Baby Whisperer, I breathed that sigh of relief. I felt supported and at ease with myself — because it’s a common thing…. I’m not the only one. My energy lifted.

Now, when I find myself getting angry, I do this little on-the-spot meditation…. I see the anger: a red fiery ball in front of me, between the eyes. I breathe as I watch its flames wrestling, as it boils and pops; it’s like my own mini sun….

…It’s not me. I’m not it. And, then I let it go. In peace. It’s gone. I roll back my shoulders and take stock of the toddler situation. I sit down if I need to. I take a cold drink of water…. And, I’m better. I’m me again.

Gorgeouses, there’s so much anger in the world. We are one very angry species — us humans. So, here’s the thing. You and I, as yoga says, must do our part to emit peace and positivity into the world and, of course, to instill it in our children.

As individuals, moreover, we mustn’t let anger get the best of us. It’s too stressful, unproductive, unhealthy…. For we have the RIGHT, Gorgeouses, to live our lives as magically and purposefully as we all deserve, and to let our children see us for the dynamic wonderful people we truly are….

Peace in our minds. Peace in the world!

Love! xo Haley-O