EVERYONE knows that here at Cheaty Monkey we like a good phallic toy. Remember this one (scroll way down)?

You all thought THAT was phallic. WELL, CHECK THIS OUT (discovered this afternoon at the pediatrician’s office):

BELIEVE me, the mom sitting beside me in the waiting room was not amused by my phallic-toy picture-taking, not one bit. Perhaps a little bit curious, yes — but definitely a lot appalled. (THE THINGS I DO FOR YOU, Gorgeouses!) Now, more importantly, can you guess what this is? It’s a snake.

As if snake toys weren’t phallic enough, they had to put a PENIS on top of it? And they had to make the PENIS an instrumental part of this toy, so that, when you press it down, the snake IT GLOWS!

Of course, Monkey loved it. And it was a welcome distraction. For five minutes she stopped asking me about “The Human Body”:

Mama, what’s inside your ear? Eardrums.

Mama, what’s inside your head? Your Brain.

Mama, what’s inside your tongue? Umm….

Mama, what’s inside your nipple? Uhh….

It’s only a matter of time before she asks me how EXACTLY she got inside my tummy. And, I’ll just be honest with her. After all, I have no problem telling her DAILY that “Mama squeezed you out of her vagina.” Of course, while I was at the pediatrician’s for Monkey’s check up today, I asked the doc what I should do when the question arises, and he confirmed that honesty is the best strategy. Hear that, Nap Warden?

WHICH brings me to my next question. CLOTHES OR PAJAMAS?

I say CLOTHES, but Josh INSISTS these are pajamas. Let’s have a POLL in the comments, shall we? Prove me RIGHT, Gorgeouses…. Or, as I did to monkey the other day (for good reason, don’t be alarmed), I’ll force you to drink one of my GREEN SMOOTHIES.

Hey, I’m over at Canada Moms Blog at some point today, talking about my VEGAN self.

And, HEY, check me over at Cheaty Kitchen making a brand new CHAI that’s BETTER THAN STARBUCKS. Thanks to my nutritionist/energy worker (and author of my fave food book) Caroline Dupont for bringin’ it!

PAJAMAS OR CLOTHES?

Love!

xo Haley-O

Ahh…, they sleep. On my bed. At 5 in the evening. I’ll probably pay for it later, when they’re cranky at dinner and too wired to go to bed at a decent hour. But, I’m tired. So tired….

I woke up this morning with it. The burnout. It usually happens Sunday mornings, after a week of solid mothering — usually after Josh goes away, like, TO VEGAS or on a business trip. I wake up to the sound of “maMA! maMA! maMA! maMA! maMA! maMA! maMAHHH! maMAHHH! maMAHHHHHHH!” It’s Rascal, like a parrot — squawking “maMAHHH!” over and over and over again until I can haul Josh’s arse out of bed to go get him his “mitz” (his milk) and bring him to “maMAHHHHHHH”! Usually I welcome Rascal’s morning antics. But, some mornings, like today, I just want to sleep. I just want to be left alone. I want what Kimberly Wilson calls a “bed day” — sleep in, stay in your pjs all day, read, nap, and just be cozy, do nothing. (Kimberly schedules a “bed day” once a month! If only!)

And, then monkey woke up “MAMA, I NEEDA PEEEEEE! I NEEDA PEEEEEEE! I NEEDA PEEEEEEE!” And she thump thump thumps into my room…. Since when did my children get so difficult and demanding? And what’s with the whining? WHINING? Frightful fours, is it? I’m in it. Smack dab in the middle of it.

I know I have Mother Burnout when EVERYTHING is just soooo irritating. It’s not them. Truly, it’s me. I get irritated by ANYONE that demands ANYTHING of me. There’s only so much I can GIVE GIVE GIVE! Even the husband starts getting to me, the phone ringing, the CLUTTER everywhere. And Tigger. Ohhhh, Tigger.

Never Minden, though….

…because he’s my little partner in misery — just as irritated as I am by everything around him. Just wanting to curl up in a little ball and…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Seriously, I loathe these days. Loathe feeling like this. I really TRY to get out of the funk, but  it doesn’t happen. Until the kids are in bed and I’m on my couch and, ultimately, in bed again….

To make myself feel better today, I left the kids outside with Josh-O so I could workout and have my own space for a bit. Not 10 minutes into my 20-minute Shred, I hear screams. Rascal’s flipped down the concrete stairs in the front because SOMEONE pushed him. ME-duty gives way to MOTHER-duty. I give SOMEONE a time-out and wash poor Rascal’s muddy, scratched-up little frame. I hug him and comfort him.

I take one minute to put my head on the bathtub ledge, and grit my teeth and breathe — until little fingers peel my head off the ledge and sharp little nails pry open my squeezed-shut eyelids.

It’s the hardest job in the world. No, it really is. People say that all the time, but they don’t REALLY think about it, do they.

It’s the hardest job in the world. Motherhood is awesome and wonderful and a blessed thing. But, it’s hard. Really freakin’ hard.

Sigh…. In other news, Monkey and Rascal had their first official conversation. Check it:

Monkey: Do you don’t want ice cream?
Rascal: Neh.

We all know kids say the strangest things. And we love it. It keeps us on our toes, keeps us laughing, makes us think. Lately, though, I’ve been loving that they constantly DO the strangest things. The Monkey, in particular, has always had strange fascinations and formed bizarre attachments to the most random things. Ever since she could make fists with her sticky little baby hands, she’s never left home without a stuffed animal, a plastic spoon, a doll’s boot, a plastic egg, a random bead…. There are no limits to her strange fascinations.

I’ve collected a few of the strange (or just too-cute) things she AND her cheaty little brother have done lately….. Check it!

1. Yesterday, Monkey turned elastics into EARRINGS….

2. Rascal CONSTANTLY plays trains in DADA’s shoes (FUN — and EW!)….

3. They clobber the cat (hmmm, wonder whom they got THAT from)….

3. They hurt their nose when clobbering the cat, and then they BLAME the CAT (wonder where he got THAT from)…. SPOON!?

4. The MINDEN, of course, is NEVER impressed….

5. And, like I said, they (well, just Monkey) form bizarre attachments to the most random things….

A sippy cup top, a SHRIMP, a baby-doll bottle, and, my personal favourite, the most phallic toy banana EVER….

6. And, (just today) they choose the most random thing in the entire toy store to bring home. Yes, I told Monkey to choose any toy she wanted (within reason) for helping her friend at school when he fell and for helping mama teach yoga the other day…. In the entire toy store, THIS is what she chose, Godhelpme:

Unfortunately, it was $7…. $7!? I was not happy. And, unfortunately, it’s sitting, unworn, on my dining room table. In the meantime, Monkey’s running around in that bathing suit again….

Let’s cut to the chase here — because I COULD go on and on. Monkey collects her favourite random things daily and places them on her radiator — where she can play with them out of Rascal’s reach…. If you look closely, you’ll see one item that’s a little, erm, uncomfortable….

EXHIBIT THE FIRST (yesterday)

Close up….

EXHIBIT THE SECOND (last night)

Close up…

EXHIBIT THE THIRD (this morning): “Look, Mama! It’s a helicopter!”

Me: What’s that white thing you’ve been playing with?
Monkey: A bottle stick.
Me: What’s it for?
Monkey: You put it in a bottle and it makes a helicopter!

Niiiice….

Children say, and do, the strangest things. And, sometimes — like last night — you realize just what trouble you’re in because of it. Like, when he hurts his nose and blames the cat, and you say “UH-OH,” and she says “F*CK!”….

I spent most of the day today trying really hard not to explode or, at least, not to rip all my hair out while jumping up and down like an excited chimpanzee.

I have the most strong-willed children on the planet. Of course, I can’t know that for sure. But, I’m almost certain that statement is pretty close to total accuracy. I’ve come to the realization, more specifically, that Rascal’s “alarming” behaviour is not, after all, a matter of behaviour at all. No, it’s that will of his. That will of his is way too strong for his own good. Now, as his parent, I’m in such a tough position. I don’t want to quash (“quash”?) that strong will because he and his equally strong-willed (but with major sweetness factor) sister, as one of my twitter buddies reminded me in a Direct Message, “will be leaders” because of those pesky strong wills. What’s a Mama to do?

So, what happens — as I’ve mentioned before — is that I end up fighting with the little guy ALL day. Putting his socks on is a fight, dressing him at all, changing his diapers, medicating those infected ears of his, getting him to SLEEP, putting him in his carseat (you would not BELIEVE), getting him to leave Starbucks, and try cooking or talking on the phone or turning on the computer when he’s in the room — not a chance without a headache full of SCREAMING. Brutal. I hate saying it because I don’t want to “affirm it” (a la Law of Attraction), but he’s INSANELY DIFFICULT. And you’d never know it from those BIG blue innocent saucers of his…. When he sleeps? I always laugh at the great size of his eye lids — they have to be big to cover those ENORMOUS SAUCERS…!

Sigh…. There were glimmers of joy amid the chaos today. And I meant to focus on JOY today because my now-chronic lack of sleep is making me all kvetchy and bitters lately. Anyway, I MIGHT be taking the day off from blogging tomorrow (like I was SUPPOSED today and yesterday), since I have MAJOR plans tomorrow night — well, not I’M-GOING-TO-BERMUDA-…-ALONE big plans, but big enough to excite and warrant a night off blogging…. Yes, since I MIGHT be taking tomorrow off, I thought I’d leave you with something substantial to last the weekend…. Check it.

Minden staying AWAY from The Rascal yet still wanting in on the action….

Closer….

And closer….

ME crafting a magic wand with our new Envirobloxs (FUN for me, but a BORE for the Monkey because too hard and a disaster for her brother)….

What do you think? Not bad, eh? Closer….

It even bends, yes. And no longer breaks thanks to the beauty that is duct tape….

RASCAL playing independently…. This never happens. Notice the WAND….

MONKEY’S drawing….

BAKING muffins. WOULD have been a joy in my day had Rascal not screamed the entire time (see recipe at The Kitch)….

Yes, baking these was an awful experience. But THIS made it worth it:

Mama: Monkey, what do you like better? Starbucks’ muffins or Mama’s muffins?
Monkey: Mama’s muffins.
Mama: Really? Why?
Monkey: I LOVE you!

Are you melting? Am still melting….

Love!
xo Haley-O

But, will he SLEEP tonight? THAT is the question.

He may be CUTE. Okay, he’s CRAZY CUTE. And can we just talk about that for a second? I’m a “mommy blogger,” so, apparently, and by definition, I’m supposed to rant on and on as annoyingly as possible about how cute my kids are and how they might say things like “EYEBROOS” (when she means “eyebrows”) and “Mama, I can’t sleep because my eyes are lippy” and how cute my cats are and LOOK AT THEM!

Rascal…. With his new blond buzz cut, and his nibble-able ears, and his little pea head. He’s such a little MAN now. Sometimes I can’t take it….

He loves his li’l self. And he loves his frozen blueberries. I mean, of course he would because they satisfy his two major needs right now — to ease the aching teething gums and to RANSACK. Blueberry on the couch on the walls on his CLOTHES. Maybe next time, we’ll strap him in the highchair. Or not.

Yes, he’s adorable. But, as you know, he doesn’t sleep. And, it’s frustrating. And, I’m really feeling it today.

I’m not a Stay-At-Home-Mom, per se. I’m a Work-at-Home-Mom. I’m spread very thin, and it’s taking it’s toll as I sit here, unable to get to my editing work. Frozen. Paralyzed. Nauseous at the thought of more work.

Right now these are my jobs: yoga teacher (three classes a week now!), editor, art dealer, writer, and MOM — and all the day-to-day jobs that go with MOM, including cooking, feeding, cleaning, dressing (WHEN do they start to really dress themselves?), bathing, playing, chauffeuring, entertaining, wiping, changing diapers, refereeing, comforting, carrying, grocery shopping, clothes shopping, doctoring…. He’s got a cold. Is coughing. Right now. I better run to him. Soothe him.

Aren’t you exhausted just READING that?

What about me, though? Where do I fit in to all of this — I mean my own innermost desires, needs, hopes? It’s rough out there with the economy the way it is. Difficult for a stay-at-home mom to return to the workforce. Maybe even impossible after so many years. And, I do want to work when the kids are in school — so I have to work NOW, to keep my foot in the yoga door, and write like mad to build my portfolio…. But, what about me? What about me NOW?

As the Meg Ryan’s character asks herself in The Women (I didn’t get to this in yesterday’s distracted post), WHAT DO I WANT? What do I want NOW?

I don’t know.

I want to sit on my couch. I want to cuddle with my cats. I want to work (here we go) at a magazine publishing company, maybe write a column, have my own office for writing my column, go to meetings, creative meetings, and I want to volunteer at an animal shelter or charity, exercise, read a novel, get my hair cut, BRUSH my hair, take a bubble bath…. I want to practice yoga and meditate and cook for myself, at least now and then, without the WOUNDED SOLDIER screaming and tugging at my pant leg and without the monkey stopping me mid-cooking-chaos to take her to the washroom….

But, I love my blueberry monster and my cheaty little eyebroo…. I love spending so much time with them. They’re cute. CRAZY CUTE. It’s my honour…. Time for me will come. I know. And I can wait. Am in no rush. I hear it all whooshes by so fast, anyway. And, I am learning. I’m learning patience. And I’m learning sacrifice. And I’m learning about giving and service and responsibility. And I’m learning what life is. It’s not about sitting on my arse watching trash TV (LOVE) and BLIPPING (LOVE LOVE). It’s about doing and giving and loving and being and teaching and learning….

He’s coughing again.

It’s going to be a long night. Better get to it…. It was fun chatting, though….

Love!
xo Haley-O

Happy Holidays, Gorgeouses! We’ve been enjoying Hanukkah here at the O House, and at it’sgrandma and papa’shere’s house, and at friends’ houses. It’s been non-stop. In fact, our house may as well be a toy store now. Toys EVERYWHERE. It’s insanity.

Party at it’sgrandma’s. Can you count how many dogs there are in this picture?

The monkeys did REALLY well with their gifts — which is why I’m EXHAUSTED right now. Who knew a 3-year-old’s toys could be so COMPLICATED.

I’m also exhausted because Rascal has a cold. It’s been months since my kids have been sick and THE DAY WE GO TO THE DOCTOR to get Rascal his 15-month shots, he gets sick. Go figure. I’m not sure if he’s sick FROM the shots. He’s all congested and barking and just a wee bit feverish. Anyway, he has this new thing where, every chance he gets, he plants a gooey (SNOTTY) kiss on MY MOUTH. (First Minden now RASCAL!?) It’s really cute, I know. But, TOTALLY GROSS.

So, I probably swallowed, oh, a half a pound of snot through the course of the day. And, I’m feeling it now. Must get to bed early….

But, first, check our decorations! It’s not a Christmas tree or anything, as Monkey hoped, but it’s something….

Blue tinsel with silver dreidels and Jewish Stars hanging from it….

Sigh…, the banner that was supposed to last forever…, but ALAS….

“I broke da ledder, Mama! I broke da ledder!”

Oh well….

These holiday days are long — no morning preschool! So, again, I’m beyond tired. Playing playing playing from dawn till dusk. BUT, I rediscovered afternoon bath time. Look how busy they are…, AND CONTAINED….

And, Gorgeouses…. It’s the Monkey. She named ONE of her many bath toys. Well, they all have gibberish names like Sippa and Shippa and Kippa, or descriptive names like Lion or Elephant or Pinky Bear. Except for one of them. One of them has an, erm, fancy name. This one….

Meet…FRANCY:

Francy? FRANCY?

Not only does, erm, FRANCY get a fancy name. But, she also gets special treatment. A luxury shower….

And, a tub-side BED….

Ahhh! That’s the life!

And, speaking of bed…. Goodnight, Gorgeouses!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

Peace, Love, Compassion….

Namaste…,
xo Haley-O

P.S.: I’m taking a WEE break from blogging over the holidays. I’ll be blogging, sure, but not as regularly for the next week or so. I need the time to just chill. Stay tuned, though, for Cheaty’s Annual New Year’s Resolutions!!!

Red is the colour of a Valenti-ine;
Purple is the colour of grapes on a vine;
Green is the colour of a green string be-ean;
Blue is the colour of my blue jeans;
Yellow is the colour of a sunflower ta-all;
Orange is the colour of a pumpkin in the Fall;
Brown is the colour of a chocolate ca-ake;
White is the colour of a snowflake.

Should I do it again?

How do you like that, Gorgeouses? Monkey must have sung it at least 15 times over dinner. No kidding. Josh-O and I were hysterical laughing. Apparently, it’s one of the songs in Monkey’s holiday concert Friday. It’s supposed to be a surprise, as is the, erm, holiday present the kids made us — and, of course, I know what THAT is, too, but I won’t say because some of the other parents read this blog (HEY GUYS!!) and there’s a CHANCE their kids didn’t tell them. Monkey’s an open book JUST like her mama.

I’ll try to get the song on video. It’ll be my mission this week…. You HAVE to hear her singing it.

So, today was, of course, another TERRIBLE TUESDAY. Thankfully, it was the last Terrible Tuesday I’ll have in 2008 because I’m not teaching my Tuesday yoga class again until January. And, do I ever need a break.

Just because it was the last Terrible Tuesday of 2008 doesn’t mean it wasn’t TERRIBLE, though. In fact, it was even MORE TERRIBLE than last Tuesday. And, here’s why:

He was up last night…ALL NIGHT. So, I had to endure TERRIBLE TUESDAY on NO SLEEP. Why was he up all night? Because I made a little sound when I came upstairs to go to bed; the floor creaked or something. The kid’s the LIGHTEST sleeper. God forbid you should BREATHE anywhere near his sleeping self, he’ll wake up. And, it’s all over.

So, the floor creaked and Rascal started screaming and I CAVED and took him to bed with me because I didn’t want wake the monkey and have TWO wired kids on my tired back to deal with when all I wanted was sleep and my own space. (Nothing like a run-on sentence to bring out the REBEL in me!) Anyway, he stopped crying when I took him to my bed, of course. And, I thought I might get some sleep. Only…. He…. Insisted…. On sleeping with his nose and mouth pressed to MY nose and mouth!!! Not only was it stinky — because baby breath isn’t always pretty — but I COULDN’T BREATHE. So, I’d move him over, and he’d turn over, sit up, and dive his face into mine.

Hmph. Cheaty little CUDDLER!

Finally, I gave up trying to BREATHE, and Josh-O took him back to his crib, where he cried…and cried. And, I couldn’t stand it. Finally, we got him to sleep.

An hour later, Monkey screams: “DADA! I NEEDA PEE! I NEEDA PEE!” And, Rascal woke up. Again. The end.

No sleep. So I’m going to bed, like, now. And Wednesday is going to be Wonderful.

Love!
xo Haley-O

CANADIAN GORGEOUSES: Win a $25 iTunes gift card at GOODIES!

This is one of those days when I probably shouldn’t post anything. The day was, in a word? CRAZY! Crazy, crazy, crazy. In a few more words? OUT OF CONTROL.

I don’t even know what to do with it.

You know what, though? My little monkeys? Angels. They were amazing. They played together and on their own while I tried to sort things out all around me. And, they made me laugh….

Monkey: The Gonners are coming.
Me: Who?
Monkey:The Gonners. They’re on their way here, Mama!
Me: What do they look like?
Monkey: They’re orange and black and they have claws and they’re DANGEROUS.
Me: Do you love them? Are they nice?
Monkey: Yeah. They’re nice. I like them.

O-kayyyy….

On the other side of the dining room table, Rascal is discovering the art of Peekaboo…. Peekaboo! Peekaboo! Peekaboo! Peekaboo! Peekaboo! Peekaboo! This never gets old when you’re 1.

Meeennnoooohhhhhh! Meenoh says hi and sends his love. LOVE!

It was a day of extremes for me. I so wanted to go to Starbucks and chill with a book this morning. But, I knew I had to go to yoga…. So, I dragged myself there and, as always, was GIDDY with happiness once I got there. We buzzed like bees, we stretched, we strengthened, we moved our jaws and tongues and spines. Like lizards, we were, for a bit….

And, am I ever happy I went to yoga. It was the ONLY NOT-CRAZY part of my day (unless you think slithering about on the floor like a lizard is crazy, of course).

I LOVE my yoga studio. It’s like NO other. Tomorrow, I get to bring some of these lessons to my own students. But, to do that, to have a successful class, MAMA needs some sleep. My emotions are all over the map from today, and I still feel like the Tasmanian Devil — spun…!

And, so, I bid you sweet dreams (even if you’re reading this during the day)! Good night!

BUT, before I leave you, a message from MILES’ mom, my Aunt Shelly. CHECK IT:

Hello all again, and thank you for your great support for Haley’s cousin, Miles, on SYTYCDC.

So, this is the BIGGEST week yet! The show is on this Wed. Dec. 3 on CTV from 8-10, and then we vote one last time, from 10-12, for Canada’s favorite dancer.

We all hope you, and all your Gorgeousnesses, can hang in yet one mo’ time!!

With love and thanks, Shelly, Miles, and family

p.s. here is the Youtube of Miles’s solo from the Thursday night show.

Thank you all, in advance, for voting! And, thank you ALL, whether you are able to vote or not, for supporting my amazing cousin!

Love!
xo Haley-O
PS: I can’t go to the finale — many of you have asked — it’s my dad’s 65th birthday. SIXTY-FIVE!
PPS: Toronto Gorgeouses? Head on over to Cheaty Goodies to get your special Disney on Ice ticket DISCOUNT!

I can’t seem to write ANYTHING. So much to say, and I just can’t get it together! So much to say — and, oh! It’s my cousin from NYC. I’m telling you: procrastination city over here…. Oh, and, look. Try typing with THIS staring at you:

Actually, I’m still getting over my FLU SHOT, which has rendered me DROWSY, IN PAIN, NAUSEOUS and DID I MENTION DROWSY? How ’bout EXHAUSTED? It was a little unfortunate because I was sick in New York, and we had to go home early from the Museum of Natural History….

Ooops! Sorry, wrong picture — that was Toys R’ Us (LOVE!)…. Here’s the museum….

Yeah, we’d been walking for a while, and then, all of a sudden, my feet felt like they were going to FALL OFF. And, I got f-f-f-reezing and achy everywhere. We had a wedding event that evening, and I totally didn’t think I’d be able to go. And, I was willing to sacrifice the WRATH of Josh-O’s family to FREEZE alone in my hotel bed. But, I ended up popping two advils (which I never do), and I MADE IT!

Speaking of wedding…. I promised I’d share my uggers dress with you! I only managed to get one pinkberry picture — which I took to send to my family back in Toronto. WARNING: it’s frightening. WARNING #2: my breasts are actually THE SAME SIZE; one is NOT impossibly bigger than the other….

I’m really not sure which boob is the actual size…. Anyway, I wish to thank DRESSMAKER FROM HELL for the lovely job on the PLEATS that made me look TRAY fat. I’ve always wanted to be the FAT BRIDESMAID. And, SHE (helped) make it happen. LOVE. Also, if I look like I was punched in the eye? It’s ‘cuz I’m pretty sure I WAS punched in the eye. My left eye was THROBBING with pain all day. Monkey slept in our hotel bed, so it’s very likely I was thwacked in the eye by either a foot, a fist or an elbow. Probably an elbow. Or, a knee. Because, if I remember correctly, Doc didn’t inject the flu shot in my eye….

Fortunately FOR ALL, the kids looked great at the wedding…. Monkey was a beautiful flower girl, and I was TRAY fahklempt walking down the aisle with her while she meticulously and with great seriousness scattered the rose petals….

Awww! I KNOW! And, look at my little ringbearer…. RAAAASCAAAAL! IN A TUXEDO (check the shoes!)!

Josh-O looked really spiffy himself…. Here we are at Rockefeller Center….

(That’s my bad angle. The photographer at the wedding, you should know, made sure I was photo’d at this angle, but with a little less nostril, of course, in all the photos. Which makes me SO happy. Because those are, like, FOREVER.)

We loved being in New York. It’s a fascinating city. We stayed at the Millennium Broadway Hotel in the heart of Times Square….

This picture was taken at FOUR in the afternoon. 4pm!!! It was SO DARK. Eerie almost. Surreal…. Sublime….

Check out that orb! Do you see that orb up there? Ghost?!?!?

Central Park, of course, was my favourite….

Also…. ALSO, the American Girl doll store. We went there to get Monkey the PERFECT gift for being such a great flower girl. EVERY girl who is ANY girl in NYC has an American Girl doll. They. Were. EVERYWHERE. Have you BEEN to this place? It’s insanity. LOOK:

No. They are not kidding.

Dolls. EVERYWHERE. Little girls. EVERYWHERE. And, it’s very serious…. There’s even a freaking cafe (“freak” being the operative word here)….

The monkey came out with this doll….

…whom she named SHIELA (don’t ask because I have NO IDEA where she got that name from…), middle name PEELA. Of course, we got monkey and the doll matching pajamas and slippers — because that’s…what you do….

We TRIED SO HARD to get Rascal a gift, but he wouldn’t take anything! Everything we gave him was THROWN out of the stroller…. See how hard we tried? See?!

Nothing. You know how hard it is to NOT be able to give your kid a gift? I bought him a little toy phone today, though, and he loves it. So, s’all good.

Hey, by the way, check it! I met my first bloggers ever! I’ve never met any bloggers that I didn’t know in real life EVER (oh, except for Toronto private-blogger Lisa B, whom I met in the parking lot at Loblaws). And, I survived. I met the lovely Steph, who quit blogging (wah!), and AmyD, who’s as gorj and fabulous as she appears on her blog. It was AWESOME meeting them. Who knows? Maybe I CAN go to one of the Toronto blogger events? Maybe I CAN go to a Blogher conference after all? Maybe I CAN meet other bloggers in real life? Maybe it’s NOT scary! (Granted, these were TWO bloggers…. not TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND MILLION….)

Highlight of the trip?: Monkey in the airplane. We’re all waiting to get out of the airplane. It’s late. Everyone’s quiet. All of a sudden, monkey’s little voice blurts out loud and clear:

“MAMA, I MADE A STINKY THART!”

Mmm hmm. That’s ma girl. Of course, everyone on the plane was laughing. And, one day she’ll get her “f”‘s right….

…but, I’m in no rush….

It’s been going on two days now. So, I think it’s official: the monkey has an imaginary friend! Here’s what I know about him (I’ve been asking TONS of questions):

*He’s male.

*He’s a “monster.”

*More, specifically, he’s a “dinosaur shadow.”

*He lives in a purple and green castle.

*He goes on a “trip” at night and comes back when it’s “up time” — which is a good thing because Monkey does NOT want to sleep with him.

*He’s “a sweet guy.”

*He likes Monkey’s closet.

*He likes Monkey’s mama and dadda (phew!).

*He has a brother and a sister.

*He’s green and gold (but sometimes he’s purple and red), and he looks something like THIS:

That little squiggle there is the letter S, by the way! You can imagine how excited I was when she told me that….

…which, now that you mention it, looks curiously a lot like this:

It’s GORDO. The GREEN AND GOLD DINOSAUR we saw at the MUSEUM on Sunday! AHA! Eureka!

He looks a little different to the front, though:

In any case…. Where the heck did she get his name?

Are you ready for it?

I don’t think you can handle it….

She says his name is….

KYLO.

KYLO!

KYLO! WTF!?

She’s constantly talking about KYLO.

Kylo’s brother’s name (are you ready?) is Avillia. This changes all the time. But, KYLO is always KYLO.

So, we have a KYLO among us.

Isn’t it AWESOME!? I LOVE it.

Meanwhile…. When Monkey finished drawing Kylo for me, Rascal (waited till I was safely busy in the kitchen and) decided to draw a monster of his own…ON THE FA-REAKING TABLE….

Hrumph! Cheaty little rascal…. The KING of all MESSES.

And, yes, I’m aware that I’m the ONLY blogger NOT talking about politics. It helps that I’m Canadian. But, Josh-O and I HAVE been watching the election coverage all evening. It’s obvious who the new president will be, and I am BEYOND excited. So, I think I can go to bed now! But, I’m also very interested in seeing what happens with Proposition 2 on the California ballot…. Looks like Californians are saying a resounding YES. We do need MORE than Proposition 2. But, it’s a start. The AWARENESS this Proposition has evoked is huge.

Admittedly, we did take one break from the election coverage to watch The Tudors (much to Josh’s chagrin) — WHICH was AMAZING.

Jeremy Northam! Jeremy Northam Jeremy Northam Jeremy Northam. LOVE LOVE LOVE! We’ve been having a love affair since Emma…. He did a REMARKABLE job of playing the role of Thomas More in The Tudors. No doubt, he deserves major awards and accolades. He’s now officially one of my favourite actors. Wow…. What an incredible tribute to Sir Thomas More….

I will miss you, Jeremy…. Hopefully, you’ll come back in next week’s episode as a ghost…(just like they do in The Young and the Restless…).

xo Haley-O