I can’t seem to write ANYTHING. So much to say, and I just can’t get it together! So much to say — and, oh! It’s my cousin from NYC. I’m telling you: procrastination city over here…. Oh, and, look. Try typing with THIS staring at you:

Actually, I’m still getting over my FLU SHOT, which has rendered me DROWSY, IN PAIN, NAUSEOUS and DID I MENTION DROWSY? How ’bout EXHAUSTED? It was a little unfortunate because I was sick in New York, and we had to go home early from the Museum of Natural History….

Ooops! Sorry, wrong picture — that was Toys R’ Us (LOVE!)…. Here’s the museum….

Yeah, we’d been walking for a while, and then, all of a sudden, my feet felt like they were going to FALL OFF. And, I got f-f-f-reezing and achy everywhere. We had a wedding event that evening, and I totally didn’t think I’d be able to go. And, I was willing to sacrifice the WRATH of Josh-O’s family to FREEZE alone in my hotel bed. But, I ended up popping two advils (which I never do), and I MADE IT!

Speaking of wedding…. I promised I’d share my uggers dress with you! I only managed to get one pinkberry picture — which I took to send to my family back in Toronto. WARNING: it’s frightening. WARNING #2: my breasts are actually THE SAME SIZE; one is NOT impossibly bigger than the other….

I’m really not sure which boob is the actual size…. Anyway, I wish to thank DRESSMAKER FROM HELL for the lovely job on the PLEATS that made me look TRAY fat. I’ve always wanted to be the FAT BRIDESMAID. And, SHE (helped) make it happen. LOVE. Also, if I look like I was punched in the eye? It’s ‘cuz I’m pretty sure I WAS punched in the eye. My left eye was THROBBING with pain all day. Monkey slept in our hotel bed, so it’s very likely I was thwacked in the eye by either a foot, a fist or an elbow. Probably an elbow. Or, a knee. Because, if I remember correctly, Doc didn’t inject the flu shot in my eye….

Fortunately FOR ALL, the kids looked great at the wedding…. Monkey was a beautiful flower girl, and I was TRAY fahklempt walking down the aisle with her while she meticulously and with great seriousness scattered the rose petals….

Awww! I KNOW! And, look at my little ringbearer…. RAAAASCAAAAL! IN A TUXEDO (check the shoes!)!

Josh-O looked really spiffy himself…. Here we are at Rockefeller Center….

(That’s my bad angle. The photographer at the wedding, you should know, made sure I was photo’d at this angle, but with a little less nostril, of course, in all the photos. Which makes me SO happy. Because those are, like, FOREVER.)

We loved being in New York. It’s a fascinating city. We stayed at the Millennium Broadway Hotel in the heart of Times Square….

This picture was taken at FOUR in the afternoon. 4pm!!! It was SO DARK. Eerie almost. Surreal…. Sublime….

Check out that orb! Do you see that orb up there? Ghost?!?!?

Central Park, of course, was my favourite….

Also…. ALSO, the American Girl doll store. We went there to get Monkey the PERFECT gift for being such a great flower girl. EVERY girl who is ANY girl in NYC has an American Girl doll. They. Were. EVERYWHERE. Have you BEEN to this place? It’s insanity. LOOK:

No. They are not kidding.

Dolls. EVERYWHERE. Little girls. EVERYWHERE. And, it’s very serious…. There’s even a freaking cafe (”freak” being the operative word here)….

The monkey came out with this doll….

…whom she named SHIELA (don’t ask because I have NO IDEA where she got that name from…), middle name PEELA. Of course, we got monkey and the doll matching pajamas and slippers — because that’s…what you do….

We TRIED SO HARD to get Rascal a gift, but he wouldn’t take anything! Everything we gave him was THROWN out of the stroller…. See how hard we tried? See?!

Nothing. You know how hard it is to NOT be able to give your kid a gift? I bought him a little toy phone today, though, and he loves it. So, s’all good.

Hey, by the way, check it! I met my first bloggers ever! I’ve never met any bloggers that I didn’t know in real life EVER (oh, except for Toronto private-blogger Lisa B, whom I met in the parking lot at Loblaws). And, I survived. I met the lovely Steph, who quit blogging (wah!), and AmyD, who’s as gorj and fabulous as she appears on her blog. It was AWESOME meeting them. Who knows? Maybe I CAN go to one of the Toronto blogger events? Maybe I CAN go to a Blogher conference after all? Maybe I CAN meet other bloggers in real life? Maybe it’s NOT scary! (Granted, these were TWO bloggers…. not TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND MILLION….)

Highlight of the trip?: Monkey in the airplane. We’re all waiting to get out of the airplane. It’s late. Everyone’s quiet. All of a sudden, monkey’s little voice blurts out loud and clear:

“MAMA, I MADE A STINKY THART!”

Mmm hmm. That’s ma girl. Of course, everyone on the plane was laughing. And, one day she’ll get her “f”’s right….

…but, I’m in no rush….

I’m feeling very ANGRY today. Yes, ANGER is the dominant emotion. And, I would hate to be the child of someone who is ANGRY. So, the kids are safely tucked in their beds — far away from my WRATH. GRRRR!

Why angry, you ask? TWO WORDS:

HALLOWEEN TREATS.

LOOK AT THEM!!!

We have THREE BOXES just like this. And, knowing our neighbourhood, that won’t be enough. We’ll be out of them by 7pm….

Sigh, anyway. They’re making my blood boil — sitting in the foyer like that — because I CAN’T EAT THEM. This is one of those times where I just HATE my oversized compassion muscle. In every single chocolate bar in that box, there are “Milk Solids.” Why couldn’t I have gone vegan AFTER Halloween?

I’m basically stuck watching everyone eat chocolate. Salivating, smelling the chocolate, getting by on RICE MILK with Chocolate Nestlé Nesquik Syrup, which PETA has listed on their “ACCIDENTALLY VEGAN” page…. But, seriously, ew. It just doesn’t compare to KIIIIIIIIIT KAAAAAAAAT…. Oh well. These things are worth sacrificing, in the end. And, imagine all the calories I’m saving. And, the cows. Beautiful, beloved cows.

Now, I’m popping popcorn…. And, I burnt my fingers on the pot. See, the Universe doesn’t like it when I’m angry…. No really. Whenever I get angry, MORE annoying carp happens to make me even MORE angry…. It’s a vicious cycle. Whereas, if I just sit down for a bit and BREATHE and, say, enjoy my popcorn, things seem to turn around. Here’s hoping.

Mmm. Good popcorn. I’m not even thinking about chocolate anymore. And, I’m now only a wee bit angry. Because ate a TON of popcorn….

Seriously, though, I deserved that popcorn. I had a rough day. Motherhood. It’s hard. I have NO time for myself. And, I’m having an issue with that right now….

When I don’t get enough time for myself, I definitely start to get ANGRY. I WORKED with my kids (and it IS work — hardest work of your life) from 7 this morning until 8:30 this evening. I didn’t get my half-hour lunch break or my 15 minute coffee breaks. I got NOTHING. I’m actually thankful that my friend Court gave me the wrong directions to her house because kids in the car for A WHOLE HOUR? Strapped to their seats? Plugged in Ipod? And, WHAT YOU HAVE IS BLISS.

It’s sad that the only time I have to myself is in the car. But, it’s the sacrifice I make.

Cooking with two toddlers at your feet? NOT BLISS. BRUTAL!

More sacrifices. No wonder I’m ANGRY. Sacrifice is my middle name. Actually, it’s Rachel, but, you know….

Then? Josh-O gets home and decides to carve the most ELABORATE PUMPKINS in the country. So, guess who has to bathe the kids whilst the ARTIST creates?

He DID do a pretty good job….

…on ONE of the pumpkins. The other was a flop. This?

…was supposed to look like THIS CAT….

I told him when he started that the cat one was WAY too ambitious. But, whatevs. He tried. Had the best fatherly intentions. He’s a good guy, that Josh-O. He knew I was tired and angry (umm, ANYONE would know). So, he cleaned the kitchen, and the dining room floor — under Rascal’s chair. We had spaghetti. BRUTAL clean-up.

In addition to being angry, I was very NERVOUS tonight because my cousin Miles was in the bottom three of SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE CANADA. I knew he would be because I wasn’t wild AT ALL about the West Coast Swing routine he was given this week…. Check it!

I am a huge Rex Harrington fan, by the way…. LOVE!

Anyway, Miles danced for his life tonight and did AWESOME (I’ll get you the video asap)…. He’s an AMAZING popper. I couldn’t be prouder. LOVE! His partner Lara was also safe tonight. And, she’s really proven herself. So, we’re good!

Hopefully, he’ll get Hip Hop next week….

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, Gorgeouses! I hope you dress up and eat a lot of POPCORN…. And, hey, winners of the Halloween Contest are announced over at GOODIES. There’s also proof there of what a VERY BAD MOOD I was in this evening. It’s a very unflattering video. As usual, now that you mention it. Must get Josh to try a different angle….

xo Haley-O

The Monkey woke up this morning with a new hairstyle! That’s what happens when I don’t brush her hair after her bath, I guess! And, check out that grog (”grog”=groggy face…my cat Simba gets that all the time, so we call him “The Grog”). But, as you can see from the smiles, she LOVES her new hairstyle! …So do I….

This morning, I went to get Josh breakfast in bed. That was the anniversary gift. It was a big gift because I was exhausted this morning. The Monkey woke up at 4am and was feeding for 45 minutes! …and, because I left the house in jogging pants and no makeup–in time for the morning rush at Starbucks…ack! Luckily, I didn’t see any familiar faces other than the staff (who looked horrified when they saw me! kidding, they’ve seen, like, everyone in the neighbourhood at their worst!).

By the way, Y & R is rocking these days. I hated Sharon a few weeks ago, but, now, she’s looking better and is finally on to Nick and Phyllis–duhhhh! finally! I’m loving this whole scenario. Though Gloria is usually a guilty pleasure of mine, what is she thinking! Don’t do it! We don’t need any more “solvent” disasters on the show. It’s enough that we have to see Sheila again at all (probably with Lauren’s face courtesy of her apparently genius plastic surgeon friend…).

Here’s what my sweety got me for our anniversary. He did well! The new Gucci perfume. He said he tried to get me a more “adult” perfume….So much for my Paris Hilton perfume–another guilty pleasure. Speaking of guilty, I’m starting to feel guilty because the Monkey’s kvetching and I’m sitting here. Later!