How ’bout this bedhead, Gorgeouses?

It doesn’t translate so well in photo. It’s way cuter in real life. Nor does it translate into actual sleeping. HE. DOES NOT. SLEEP. anymore.

He DID NOT sleep AT ALL last night when I REALLY needed him to. I had a BIG DAY today. I had to chair a meeting with some of the most incredible women on the internet. And I had to do it shaking like a leaf after chugging a CHAI (yes) to stimulate me into semi-awareness, semi-functionality.

And, am I making sense? Because, OMG AM TIRED!? Like, nauseous, heart-thumping tired.

Yes, I am completely sleepless right now. Except for the 22 minutes I stole in the latter part of Igor — our rainy-day/crazay-work-day movie.

Because, yes, I’m a crazay working mom. A WAHM. And a WOHM. A WAHM-WOHM. WOHM-WAHM. But, mostly WAHM. It’s official. I work more hours at home than I do at the office. I work with the macbook on the kitchen counter as I cook meals, with little monkeys pulling at my pants and fighting with each other and screaming.

My new routine working full time (in and out of the home) has been a huge transition not only for me, but for the monkeys. They are feeling it. They’re not sleeping. They’re clingy. They’re NOT LISTENING. They’re pushing the nanny away before I leave for the office: “I DON’T WANT YOU, RACHEL!” (can you imagine?). And, HE’s screaming bloody murder when I drop him off at it’sgrandma’s house — which used to be his FAVOURITE second home — or when I leave him with Josh-O while I scoot off to the gym for an hour. Did I mention NOT SLEEPING?

It’s insane, chaotic MADNESS, this life. Balance yet to be attained. Always out of reach. A constant physical and emotional struggle. Guilt. Prioritizing. Compartmentalizing. HARD, man.

But, I figured out an analogy that helps me manage my own confusion and vexation around all this: BEING A WORK-AT-HOME-MOM IS LIKE HAVING ANOTHER CHILD. All of a sudden, Mama’s still HERE, but she’s putting a lot of her attention elsewhere…. Ooo, Email’s crying! Blackberry’s hungry! Macbook needs a diaper change! HARD, man. For all of us.

But, I’ll get it right. Am determined to TRY to make everyone happy happy happy. And sleeping through the night again.

Okay, to bed. But, one more thing quickly: Monkey has her first crush…. Squeeeeeeeee!

Squeeee, yes. But, she’s not even FOUR YEARS OLD. I’m in trouble, I know. “Mama, I want to invite C. over for a pajama party,” she tells me ALREADY IN HER PAJAMAS…in the middle of the day.

GOOD NIGHT! May we ALL sleep deep and all night long tonight. Pray for me!

Also, pray for me tomorrow when I have my first Ayurveda treatment. Eeek! Nostrils are ready and waiting. Nothing will surprise me…right…? right…?

Love!

xo Haley-O

Things are heating up at New Job. I actually had to drop Monkey off with Mary Poppins New Nanny after school today while “Mama went to work.”

Monkey: And Dada’s going to stay home?
Me: No, Monkey, you have a nanny now so MAMA can go to work, too.
Monkey: Can I come with you?
Me: No, Monkey, you have to stay with Rachel. But Mama will be home REALLY soon!

I got home about 2 hours later, excited about New Job and about the experience of going way DOWNTOWN (i.e., not just downtown, but WAY. WAY downtown) to CHICHI restaurant not far from the office.

I guess I must have been REALLY hungry after all these DAYS AND DAYS of being SICK AS A DAWG. Because I scarfed down my food — a vegetarian wrap — and took what I couldn’t finish (because had to leave early to rescue nanny) to go. I TOOK THE REST TO GO. I don’t like wasting food, but I never imagined myself taking food home from a company lunch…. Ahem.

I did manage to talk while scarfing, though. A lot. Something comes over me when I’m in unusual situations. I’m actually quite shy. But, put me in a room full of new people and I’m LOUD and giggling and TALKING TO EVERYONE.

You’d never guess I’m shy as [insert clever metaphor, i.e., a mouse? Albert Einstein? Carrie Underwood? -- ALL SHY]!

Minden, on the other hand, is NOT SHY in any situation (and, no, this is not a gratuitous kitty picture — it is perfectly called for)….

That was Minden doing his best Adam Lambert….

Speaking of which….

I LOVED Danny Gokey this entire season of American Idol, and it was A GOOD season — the best in a long time….

But, after his breathtaking performance of Kanye West’s “Heartless,” I fell IN LOVE with Kris Allen. And so will you when you see for yourself….

…Okay, how CUTE is he????

So, anyway, as I was saying…. I’m more THRILLED that Kris Allen is in the finale than I am depressed that Danny Gokey is GONZO. Because Danny will be FINE. He has more talent than most of the Idol winners before him, and he’s got so much charisma, and he’s got THE STORY (his wife died shortly before the competition — “TRAGEDY TO TRIUMPH,” as he says). He’ll be FINE. And, personally? I blame Paula and her DIPPY song choice for Danny’s demise.

ERGO, Americans? Since I can’t vote, you’re going to have to vote FOR ME. And, since you can’t vote for Danny, vote for Kris Allen — and those quirky adorable faces he makes when he hits the high notes. OY!

I digress. A lot. As usual. It’s kind of my thang. When you come here, you learn to expect digression. And gratuitous kitty pictures….

So, I am loving New Job. I am loving chichi lunches and challenges to my shy self. I DO need new shoes, though, now that Josh-O and it’sgrandma have staged an INTERVENTION: no more winter boots. I am no longer permitted to wear my winter boots…, or they will have me committed.

Okay, this was fun, Gorgeouses. BACK TO WORK.

Have you checked Cheaty Goodies for the WINNER of our Emergency Preparedness contest?

LOVE!
xo Haley-O

Any idea what this is?

MY CUTLERY. LINED UP. PERFECTLY.

How ’bout this?

MY PANTRY, OMG…!

This?

MY T-SHIRT DRAWER HAS NEVER LOOKED LIKE THIS! EVER!

Know what this is?

JOSH AND MY CLOSET. PERFECTIONISM AT IT’S FINEST.

This?

THE MONKEY’S T-SHIRT DRAWER (talk about “depleting the inventory”…what’s that old blue “dog” shirt doing there still — a-bah-bye).

And, this….

RASCAL’S CLOSET. A thing of beauty….

Oh, and BEST OF ALL — as Monkey would say, LOOKADISS:

THE LINEN CLOSET. This was probably the MOST shocking…. I’d forgotten I even HAVE a lot of those linens….

I don’t know how she does it. She’s here three days a week, from 9 – 1:30. I’ve been working most mornings, but, when I’m not, she hands Rascal over to me and gets cleaning. When I am working, he’s following her around as she vacuums and tidies. And, somehow, she manages to take him out to the park or the toy store. It’s amazing. She’s amazing.

Of course…, as soon as she leaves….

THE TUPPERWARE on the windowsill….

RASCAL INTO THE CABINETS….

Not to mention this huge hairball on my couch….

MEEENNNOOO! (Lower lip…)

And….

THIS FACE! Oy.

&C….

&C….

I don’t know how long ago Monkey put the coffee filter on my feverish head…. But….

I’m a new woman.

I have a clean house.

I can find things.

I can work.

On my couch.

Or on my bed.

With piles of Kleenex for my sad red stuffed and scratchy nose.

I have NO VOICE, but still managed to get my thoughts into yet another exciting conference call for work today….

Yes, am loving New Job.

Yes, am aware that am seriously annoying you again by talking about New Job sans DEETS?

Am woman of MYSTERY.

In the meantime. To bed I go. Early tonight. After finishing up some freelance work (which is endless — but a good thing), and finalizing some Kids Deserve Art orders, including some charity donations am très excited about. More on this latah! Ooo, le mystère!

Anyway, LOVE.

Love New Nanny. Love New Job. Love Family. Love YOU. Love Couch. Love Bed. Love the part in Monkey’s favourite movie Alvin and the “Chick-munks” when Simon eats Theodore’s poop to prove to Dave it’s a raisin. Love Kitties….

Love!

xo Haley-O