Today began bright and early with my new little nephew’s bris. Welcome to Judaism, little buddy. We wish you a speedy recovery. MAN, that’s not something ANYONE wants to go to first thing in the morning. But, it’s a huge deal for the little guy. And, happily for everyone, it was quick and easy. He hardly cried at all, really.

Well, if he WAS CRYING it was hard for any of us to hear because someone else (*COUGH* Rascal *COUGH*) was doing his usual fair share of shrieking…. Not sure what’s up with that. Terrible Twos? I thought we’d been-there-done-that already when he was 14 months? No? Crap. In the meantime, he loves his trains….

And, check out that kickarse hair cut. Ahem.

SPEAKING of haircuts…. A certain someone went for a certain haircut at a certain chichi hair salon in a certain Yorkville with a certain hairstylist who does Cheryl Hickey’s hair and styles OTHER CRAZY FAMOUS CELEBRITIES. I’d name them, but, I’ve learned, it’s très faux pas to drop celebrity names like that.

ALTHOUGH…. A certain MILES FABER — 2nd runner-up in last year’s SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE CANADA, and also MY COUSIN — said I could fashizzle drop his name. And, he took a pic with me FOR YOU, with THANKS for all your VOTES…. He even said he credits YOU for taking him to the end! Squeee!

LOVE! Miles is doing AWESOME, by the way. He’s going to be shooting a MOVIE for MTV CANADA next week in Calgary. He’s the CO-STAR. The movie’s called Turn the Beat Around. Look out for it (I’ll keep you posted).

Last item of business — before I get BACK to business (because ZOMG I am SWAMPED with bTrendie stuff tonight) — MY NEW HAIRCUT! My hair’s been INSANE for months now. (See above.) It NEVER looks brushed. (See above.) It weighs A TON. (See above.) It looks like ARSE. (See above.)

But, now, THANKS TO DALIDA, it looks, as a certain Motherbumper likes to say, AWESOMETASTIC ! Check. It.

Did it not take 20 pounds off my face (and head)? I have a CHIN now. And CHEEK BONES. I still look like I’ve been punched in the eye, but that’s neither here nor there. Here’s another pic I took. Because OMG am SO HAPPY with it. (I got creative.)

The colour even looks lighter, no? I love Dalida even more for REFUSING to highlight my hair because she loves my natural colour; whereas most hairstylists JUMP at the chance. It’s amazing what a haircut can do. I’m a NEW WOMAN.

Of course, I spent this evening’s entire kickboxing class (hotarse instructor, hollaaah) with my HAIR DOWN….

LOVE!

xo Haley-O

I’m a reality TV WHORE. I love it. I love the worst of them and the best of them — from A Double Shot at Love to Paris Hilton’s My New BFF to Big Brother (STARTS TONIGHT!), Survivor, American Idol, America’s (and now Canada’s) Next Top Model, (does The Hills count?), to perhaps the best of the bunch, So You Think You Can Dance. Of course, I have a little soft spot for So You Think You Can Dance, since my cousin MILES FABER finished in the top 4 of So You Think You Can Dance Canada just last year. But, seriously, it’s an AMAZING show. Anyone who’s ever had any interest in dancing, or who likes a good hip hop video, going to the ballet, Broadway (heyoooo!), ballroom, or even just MUSIC — THIS is the show for you. Just TRUST me.

(By the way? Let’s pretend last night’s Russian Folk Dance routine never happened…. I know they’re trying to represent DAWNCE in all it’s forms. But, seriously, there ARE limits. Omigod with the red cheeks on Phillip Chbeeb! Anyway.)

(OmiGAWW! — and no wonder they were in the bottom three tonight!)

Beyond that, though, this show showcases the best of the best in choreography. So, you’re not just watching any old dancing. You’re watching masterpieces by MIA MICHAELS, TICE DIORIO, NAPPYTABS! And did I mention MIA MICHAELS?

This woman gets me every time. (I may even have a wee GIRL CRUSH on her!) Sometimes, she’s a little over the top — which is also why I love her (I can relate to being a little over the top). But, for the most part, she hits the mark every time and makes you fah-reaking THINK. Last night was simply BEYOND, though. Mia’s exploration of Addiction with dancers Kayla and Kupono was nothing less than BRILLERS. BRILLIANT. I think I must have watched this dance thirty times….

The quality of this vid, the timing, is not stellar. But, you get the picture. How many times did you watch it? And how ADORABLE is Kupono? And how magnificent is Kayla? And how amazing is Mia? Do me a favour and watch it at least twice — keep your eyes on Kayla the first time, and Kupono the second. And then maybe go back and watch it a third time. It’s BRIL-LIANT! As Tice Diorio (LOVE) put it perfectly, “I don’t feel like I watched a dance. I feel like I had an experience. And that’s — entertainment.”

I not only get chills when I watch this routine, but I cry. Because it HITS ME hard. I’ve been an addict my whole life — not only to substances (*COUGH* StarbucksGrandeSoyNoWaterTazoChai *COUGH*, among others, *COUGH*), but to behaviours, to work…. I KNOW and understand very well what Kayla, and MIA with her awesome vision, so perfectly and passionately portrayed. I loved it. This is way beyond reality TV. This is FINE ART.

Watch it, yo! And thank me later!

Love!

xo Haley-O

Where to START! Let’s start with MILES! My cousin came in THIRD PLACE in the SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE CANADA competition. He came into the competition with the LEAST training of ANYONE and NO technique, and he’s leaving a full-on DANCER.

The show’s winner was Nicholas (NICO) Archambault, the seriously GORJ contemporary dancer from Montreal, who was a favourite from the very beginning. Here are Nico and Miles doing their guy-guy dance in the final four showdown. The style is called “Capoeira.” Check it!

CONGRATULATIONS, MILES! We love you and look forward to cheering you on throughout your successful and exciting career. Thanks for dancing for us these weeks. It’s been a TRUE HONOUR and GIFT to watch your dream unfold before our eyes ON NATIONAL TV. (I can’t say that enough.) LOVE!

Thank you ALL so much for your awesome (and passionate) recommendations for exercise videos. I got so desperate today that I dragged my sorry arse over to the giant book store and bought Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred.

As soon as I got home, I slipped it into the DVD player and WENT FOR IT. And, what do you know, JUMPING JACKS within the first HALF A minute of the workout. That can’t be safe — especially if you’re NOT wearing the right bra for that, ahem. But, who cares, because I was basically sweating from the first half-minute to the last 10 seconds — just about half an hour, the PERFECT amount of time for me to workout (aka the LONGEST I can keep my kids off of me…, sort of.)

So, the DVD was pretty good. A GREAT workout (even if not the safest). It’s a circuit training program: a mix of cardio, strength training and ab work, in that order. There are three levels of difficulty, so I shouldn’t get TOO bored. I did Level 1, and it was JUST FINE thankyouverymuch. When I DO get bored, if not before then, I’m taking a lot of your advice and trying out THESE two:

Turbo Jam….

…and the DANCING WITH THE STARS workout DVD….I may just cave and buy it RIGHT NOW….

Anyway, I was happy with today’s workout. The vid’s a little monotonous. The music is pretty-much non-existent. But Jillian Michaels is tray motivating, and she and the two girls demonstrating the moves have serious abs, which is DEFINITELY inspirational. And, it’s all about the inspirational if we’re going to do this thing…. If we’re going to do this thing…every day. Wish me luck!

The only real “problem” was a certain someone — we’ll just call him “RASCAL”. But, said PROBLEM may have worked to my benefit (we’ll see how I feel tomorrow morning). Jumping jacks and skip-rope with a 20-pound toddler (if he’s EVEN 20 pounds yet…) in your arms has GOT to have its benefits….

There was something else I was going to talk about, but I forget what it was! Oh well, in the meantime, check my new button from the GORJ MRS. FLINGER (WHO, by the way, was one of the two designers responsible for the gorjness of THIS VERY SITE!)….

Isn’t it GREAT? I’m so fahklempt about this! Not only did she make the button for me, but she’s posted it on her website, honouring Kids Deserve Art as one of her “Santa’s Little Helpers: Products and People We Love.” I didn’t ask for this, and I’m blown away by the love and generosity. THANK YOU, MRS. FLINGER! MWAH!

Love!
xo Haley-O

We are just sitting here, eagerly awaiting the finale of SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE CANADA. My cousin, Miles Faber, is one of the FINAL FOUR, and we couldn’t be more excited for him. No matter where he places, we are ECSTATIC. I mean, he made it to the end, Gorgeouses! As far as he could go!

To watch your cousin achieve A DREAM, and on NATIONAL TV, is truly a gift….

Miles with hottie-hott-hot Nico Archambault, the other male dancer in the top 4 of SYTYCD Canada.

Anyway, my cousin’s RIPPED abs have motivated me to get mine back. My monkeys are old enough now that I have no excuse for looking preggers. Even if I WAS wearing a massive (white — i.e., NOT slimming) ski jacket….

I got SICK of trekking to the gym for yet another lame-o class-o, so I’ve been doing a lot of walking. I bundle up the kids, plug in my earphones, and VEE GO! BUT, who am I kidding? It’s f-f-f-f-freeeeeezing outside these days. The LAST thing I want to do is FREEZE for 45 minutes just to burn a measly 10 calories. No. And, my doctor recommended I do something that will get my frustrated MOMMY emotions out — like, erm, kickboxing….

So, I’ve decided I want to try a DVD again. You can buy them on Amazon for under $20 (including shipping) — so, still cheaper than going to the gym. AND, you can do it in the comfort of your own home.

What I need, though, is one I can do in the LEAST AMOUNT OF TIME with MAXIMUM EFFECTS and MINIMAL BOREDOM, of course. It’s the MIRACLE WORKOUT DVD. Because, when I used to workout at home, I tried EVERYTHING. EVERY DVD on the market. Did I mention EVERY?

I did the Jane Fonda (who didn’t!?)….

…the Kathy Smith….

…the Denise Austin….

…the CRUNCH series….

…(God help me) Richard Simmons….

…I even tried the JENNY GARTH video….

…and Kathy Ireland….

…BELLYDANCING with Neena and Veena….

…the New York City Ballet program…

…and when that didn’t work, YOGA BOOTY BALLET…

Don’t even get me started on Yoga and Pilates videos. I have them ALL. So, what do YOU recommend, Gorgeouses? I would LOVE to have something that’s 30 minutes of cardio only. I can handle the strength and stretch with my own yoga practice. I’m not sure if I want something dancey, or kickboxy? No clue. WHAT DO YOU THINK? What should I get?

Or, should I just turn on the radio and dance my arse off….

She’s in her room right now.

I take that back.

She just yelled down the stairs for me. And, with Rascal sleeping, we can’t exactly have that. So she’s here right now (cuddling my neck — she still has that bizarre neck fetish, where she’ll fondle my neck — and ONLY mine, or hers — between the collarbones, for hours, for an entire movie).

I’m exhausted and run down. And, yes, I have people that can help me, but there’s not enough help right now. With Papa’shere’s SURPRISE PARTY last night, things have been CARAZAY busy and intense. I didn’t have to do much for the party because, fortunately, my siblings understand that I’m up to my eyeballs trying to manage two monkeys pretty-much on my own 24-7. So, I really wasn’t responsible for much. But, I WAS responsible for a speech. And, even though I thought it was tray cheesy when I wrote it? It came out pretty well. I was happy.

More importantly, my DAD was thrilled. He got to see ALL his closest friends ON his birthday. What can be better than that? Family, friends, all saying amazing things about you. I don’t think he could have felt more love on a day he expected to be a little depressing. I mean, becoming a “senior citizen” OVERNIGHT isn’t easy, especially for someone as young-at-heart as my dad. But, don’t you worry, I reminded him of the perks of turning 65…. HE CAN DO MY SHOPPING!

Hellooo? Seniors day at Shoppers Drug Mart (the Canadian version of Duane Reade)! YESSS! Papa’shere needs to keep those bones good and strong. So, I’d be doing him a FAVOUR loading him up with stuff to buy for me. Oooo, this is GREAT!

Anyway, I know ski jackets are big and puffy, but I could KILL my mailperson for congratulating me today on my two kids and “THE ONE ON THE WAY”……….&%%$#^#&! I’ve been a bubbling boiling cauldron ever since that stupid naive comment, WHICH, might I add, was made worse when I said, “no I’m not pregnant,” and he responded saying “it’s just that” and made a big ARC with his hand in front of his stomach. Thank you, Sir. Don’t mean to be rude, but GOTTA GO NOW!!!! Arse.

So, needless to say, the kids and I are going on a LONG walk today. Even though it’s FREEZING, and the little rascal won’t wear gloves or a hat, it’s sunny. And, apparently, Mama needs to stop looking pregnant.

Or, to get a new ski jacket. I HAVE had this one since I was preggers…. So….

I just have to keep in mind that (as it’sgrandma reminded me) everyone at the party last night said I’d lost so much weight and that I look FABULOUS, Dahling. So, there you go. It was the ski jacket.

It was the ski jacket.

In the meantime, though, I still have an afternoon to fill with activities to satisfy my two cheaty little monkeys (never mind me). If you’re a stay-at-home-parent, what do YOU do with your kids on a cold winter afternoon. Friends of mine suggested programs programs programs. But, with two kids, I don’t feel like giving away my life savings right now. So, what? WHAT do you do? Do you have planned activities, or do you just fly by the seat of your pants? Because, lately, I feel like I’m barely able to stay afloat in the black afternoon sea of toddler chaos.

I’ll feel better, I know, now that the papa’shere’s party is done…. But, there’s grocery shopping to do, and cleaning, and endless entertaining, and bad attitudes everywhere, and naive mail deliverers.

HALP!

…but there IS So You Think You Can Dance Canada, and my GORJ cousin MILES rocked DA HOUSE! I know he’s not happy about the Hip Hop routine. But, I thought he did great. And, COME ON, do you know how TIRED they are? And, do you realize how quickly they had to learn all those routines? Gorgeouses, it was insanity. Anyway, we are CELEBRATING MILES!

He’s entertained us for weeks now! My cuz! So proud. No matter what happens at the finale this Sunday, this has been incredible for the whole family.

As choreographer/American So You Think You Can Dance judge Dan Karaty has said, BEST FINAL FOUR in ALL the So You Think You Can Dance competitions EVER! Sweet! Videos to come….

Love!
xo Haley-O

P.S.: Toronto Gorgeouses, don’t forget to check Cheaty Goodies for this month’s Disney on Ice promotion! Get a discount on tickets!