I can do this.

I just drank a mug of vegan hot cocoa out of my “Heaven-Knows-It’s-Surely-True-That-Mothers-Need-a-Time-Out-Too” mug. Watching a little TMZ. Which may come as a surprise to some of you because, of course, I only watch CLASSY TV shows, like The Bachelor (did you see this season’s premier OMG — even *I* was embarrassed, it was so embarrassing), and my latest favourite, The Real Housewives of, well, all of them — Atlanta, Orange County, New York (in no particular order). NENE!!!

I love NeNe — partly because she hates brilliantly on a certain someone (KIM) whom I can’t stand because she smokes in her house, in her children’s faces.

I can TOTALLY understand if people can’t quit smoking — it took me YEARS to quit chai lattes (I’m still not out of the woods, but let’s pretend). But, I CAN’T understand knowingly exposing your young children to secondhand smoke. Seriously, WTF!? Who DOES that? Does anyone DO that? Anyway, don’t get me started on KIM. Where were we? Oh yes, LOVE NENE. But doesn’t EVERYONE?

I actually liked Anderson Cooper better when he was the host of The Mole — partly because I only watch classy TV, and not CNN. I prefer TMZ….

Where was I? Oh yes. I can do this.

I can write a blog post tonight, and I can get a good few hours of work done (egad) EVEN though I’m exhausted. Yes, exhausted. But, not whiny “WOE IS ME, MY KIDS DON’T SLEEP” exhausted. More like “DAY 15 OF JILLIAN MICHAELS’ HELL VIDEO,” as I like to call it. Level 2, baby. My feet are starting to hurt….

No, seriously, my feet are really hurting. Well, foot. It’s throbbing as we speak, Gorgeouses. I’m sure a good night’s sleep will help (but, ALAS, my kids still aren’t sleeping — WOE! is me). Yoga helps.

Oh GOD. I’m watching GLEE now, and Matthew Morrison is singing Bust A Move. OH! He’s dancing! And now he’s singing the THONG SONG — MOVE OVAH, Justin Timberlake. I’m telling you! And I am telling you!

In conclusion, I am in love with

Matthew Morrison….

and

Harvey Levin….

“I’m a lawyer!”

By the way, I’m also exhausted because the Monkey has a new imaginary friend, “Julia,” and Julia’s sleeping over tonight. Also, the Rascal’s been saying “f*ck” all the time, over and over again. Also, according to the Rascal’s nursery school “Feeling Table,” the words he likes to use are “hard” and “soft.” He needs to build on others, like “bumpy, scratchy, etc.”

LOVE! xo Haley-O

Make it stop! Gorgeouses, make it STOP! I can’t. I can’t stop procrastinating. I have SO much work to do this evening, and am EXHAUSTED. I’m exhausted because I had SO much work to do LAST NIGHT. And I procrastinated the evening away DAMN YOU TWITTER CRACK HATE until there was no other choice but to work until 2am.

Granted, it didn’t help that I had to rewrite my ENTIRE Canada Moms Blog post because Typepad crashed DAMMIT CRACK, I MEAN CRASH and I had to get it all out before it left my tired brain forEVAH.

Sigh. And here we go again. But, I’m even MORE tired than I was when I was procrastinating LAST night. But, that’s neither here nor there (whatever that means).

In the meantime, I figured out what the deal is with my Canada Moms Blog posts. Like, why I have such trouble loosening up there. Obviously, it’s not yet MY HOME. And it takes time to find your voice in a blog of MANY voices. I mean, no wonder…. But, there’s one more thing. PICTURES. No PICTURES. Writing with no pictures feels more like ESSAY writing than BLOGGING. We’re only supposed to have one picture there. So, I sit down, find my picture, and I WRITE MY ESSAY. GAH!

Gorgeouses. I FIGURED IT OUT. I need to get used to blogging sans PICTURES. Call me PAUL WILLIAMS — mystery solved!

So, go read my words  at Canada Moms Blog while I wait here for you procrastinating on twitter. And please cut me some slack there for a while. No pictures! I’m like a child. I NEED PICTURES. Otherwise, I’m fighting tooth and nail with my old academic self NOT to write formal ESSAY. She and I are STILL fighting. Don’t worry, I’m winning. I need to write a few more essays blog posts there, and we should be in the clear. It’s all good, though — I love a good challenge.

As for right here right now? PICTURES! Check it:

1) As promised…, SPARKLERS from Victoria Day. And that’s some scary sh*t — Cheaty does NOT recommend….

2. Minden on my COMPUTER bag…. Suck-age.

3. Now, look out the window. To the right. Here — here’s a closeup….

4. It’s HOWARD!

HOWARD STERN…, i.e…:

Yes, I’ve named my new pet squirrel “Howard Stern” after Howard Stern. Because, well, it’sgrandma and I LOVE HIM. And I’m determined to get Howard to tweet me back one of these days. HEAR THAT, HOWARD?….

I’ll keep you posted on how that’s going, ‘course. Anyway, Howard Stern the squirrel (aka “Howie”) is totally STALKING ME, as you saw THROUGH MY WINDOW….

5. …which makes things a little, erm, awkard at dinner lately….

6. And if you think this kid actually sits this nicely at dinner, you have another thing coming….

That’s more like it. Ugh. SIT. DOWN.

7. There are no pictures of me here, of course, because I was pissed off all day. I taught yoga to two preschool classes and worked like a dog whenever I got a spare minute (“minute” being the operative word here)…. But, this is what made me feel better. VIEW FROM MY EYES AFTER DINNER WHEN JOSH-O GOT HOME AND RELEASED ME FROM GRIPS OF CHILDREN:

It’s not the ocean, or mountains or waterfalls. Just a tree near my backyard. I love it. Love trees. Love the way they reach up to the skies and ground down into the earth…. And, ahhh, I can breathe again.

Back to work.

Love….

xo Haley-O

I’m still sick, Gorgeouses. So, after my, ahem, BUSINESS meeting DOWNTOWN tomorrow morning, I’m off to the doctor’s office to secure me some serious meds. I think it’s a sinus infection. All I know is I PASSED out after today’s, ahem, conference call at 1:30pm — only to wake up 4 hours later in time to roll out of bed and RUN to it’sgrandma’s house for a Victoria Day party.

Yes, we had a holiday here in Canada today. Queen Victoria’s birthday, or something. So, Josh-O was here to watch the kids while I slept yet another day away (Mother’s Day was spent in bed, too… — I sure know how to MILK it, but this sickness sucks).

Anyway, I WAS going to talk to you about the spectacular movie Josh-O and I watched this weekend….

I always liked Brad Pitt. But, just like the whole Danny Gokey – Kris Allen scenario, I’m IN LOVE with Brad Pitt, now. He SO should have won the Oscar for his truly BRILLERS performance in The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, or, at least, scored himself a better intro from Anthony Hopkins at the awards ceremony…. And I think he really needs to leave Angelina Jolie — not for Jennifer Aniston, but — FOR ME. I’d have to talk to Clive Owen about it first, but I’m SURE Clive’d be okay about sharing me with Brad Pitt….

Oh, and speaking of quality movies and my hott boyfriends, I cannot WAIT to see this….

Okay. I need to go to bed. Big day tomorrow. And, frankly, I’m too dizzy and nauseous from this sinus infection to hang out any more tonight. But, LOVE….

Before I go, though, meet my new BABY…!

It’s the Blackberry Curve. My Blackberry Pearl was a good start-up blackberry. But, I’m in the big leagues now. Heh. I needed a big blackberry — sorry, a big PINKberry — with a complete keyboard. And, yes, it has to be pink. And, if I get tired of the pink, I can ditch this case and get a green, or orange or PINK CAMO case. And, for the record, no, this is NOT product placement — I don’t DO that. No, this is pure unadulterated LOVE. And, speaking of which, even though I spilled the ENTIRE new bag of cat kibble on the floor WITH BROKEN GLASS…

…kitties still love me. Especially since they had tuna, salmon and cat treats for breakfast, lunch and dinner (couldn’t pick up more cat food because vets are closed on Victoria Day!).

God, I love this cat. And Brad Pitt. And Clive Owen. And Kris Allen. And Michael Cera, Jack Black. Pinkberry. And little Rascal with his Victoria Day sparkler. I’d post a picture of said cuteness, but Josh-O passed out in Monkey’s bed earlier, and all the party pics are on his boring black blackberry.

LOVE!

xo Haley-O