Yes. You’re looking at me. Drinking my DRUG OF CHOICE. It’s a Starbucks Grande Soy No-Water Chai Tea Latte. 21 days without this STUPID drink, and I had to go and get one.
REWIND.
As many of you know, my 21-day cleanse, in which I gave up caffeine and sugar, ended yesterday (Tuesday, February 9, 2009, to be exact). So, today was my first official day as a FREE WOMAN again. I did GREAT this morning. I put on the kettle. Made myself a lovely tazo chai, since I decided I could handle a little caffeine in the form of TEA BAG, with some rice milk and agave nectar (i.e., not sugar! NOT CHAI LATTE). I even bragged about it on twitter….
Are you aware, by the way, that I still have two baby teeth? I have two baby molars. They’re still here because no adult teeth ever developed. I should SO be on FRINGE…. FREAK!
ANYWAY, as you might be able to tell, I’m a little cracked out from that SMACK of caffeine and sugar I just chugged, after (I repeat) 21-days of NO stimulating food or drink whatsoever, and from that gluten-free vegan chocolate brownie the peeps at the neighbourhood health food store (they know me there, of course) snuck into my shopping bag…. Mmm….
BUT, DON’T BE ALARMED. I’m not back on the wagon. No. I’m BACK ON THE CLEANSE.
FEAST YOUR EYES on that clock ticker thing on my sidebar, under the heading “COUNTDOWN TO CHEAT DAY.” Until I reach my goal post-preggers weight (I still have to figure out what that is — I’m thinking 18 more pounds), I’m staying on this cleanse with ONE CHEAT DAY a month. I’ll reset that ticker on the 10th of every month.
Doing a “cleanse” (i.e., simply EATING CLEAN) is the only way to keep myself on track. To keep myself healthy and strong and feeling good and not stressing about food — especially since I have so much on my plate. (Eeee! Pun. So not intended!)
Because, the truth is, I can see it. I see how MUCH BETTER I felt yesterday than I do right now. After one drink and brownie, I’m back in the haze. And, if I’m not on the cleanse, I simply have no control. I can’t control my eating unless I make a concerted commitment. Right here. You all are my witnesses.
OMG, this is turning into a long ramble. I’m outta control. OUTTA.
Anyone else in on a MONTH of no caffeine no shug??? You can commit RIGHT HERE. I can even put your name in the sidebar, so we can all be your witness. Just say the word.
In other news, Gorgeouses…. GRATUITOUS KITTY PICS TIME!
The cat’s out of the basket. The teeny weeny basket….
Here he sat at 1pm. Found him there before left to teach yoga….
Back from yoga at 4 pm…FOUR PM. Still in basket….
Doesn’t he look comfy!?!?!?
OY! So, who’s joining me on another 21 days?
Some exciting, HISTORIC, news on the animal front…. My fellow animal advocates and I are very excited that PETA’s investigation inside Aviagen Turkeys, Inc., led to 19 indictments for cruelty to animals filed against former employees. This is the first time in U.S. history that factory farm employees have faced felony cruelty-to-animals charges for abusing birds. That’s HUGE. As Monkey would say, “HOORAY”! There’s more to be done, letters to be written — contact me if you want to help.
Thank you for letting me share. I’m passionate about animals, as you know, and it’s gotten to the point where I cry most nights for them. I was born with this cause (my given Hebrew name “Chayah” MEANS “animal” [among other things]). And, you help me serve my purpose — and, thus, cry a little less — by simply listening to me here now and then. Thank you so much for that.
Contest over at Goodies. You could win JURLIQUE and Dr. HAUSCHKA and PURE+SIMPLE skincare. It’s a NO-BRAINER!
Thinking it’s because I haven’t slept well in over a month.
Thinking, without jinxing it, that Rascal’s sleeping IS getting better. If I could only get him to sleep a WEE bit longer and not get his kicks out of slapping me in the face and head-butting me in the tooth….
Thinking I really needed my yoga class today.
The pocket.
I needed that pocket. That pocket in space and time where I can just be. I can stretch out beyond beside around me, upside down….
I needed that pocket. That 2 hours of nothing mattering.
I can take a shower. I can sleep (sort of). I can surf the net. Read a book. Watch The Bachelor. American Idol. The Office. Y&R. Not the same. Not the pocket. In yoga, I slip inside the pocket. Outside of space and time and things and stuff and anxieties and responsibilities. I enter the bamboo room, and I disappear from my life. It’s my invisible cloak.
Before my 21-day cleanse, Starbucks was my pocket. Even though, more and more, I’d see people I knew. Other mothers. We’d talk about the kids….
That drink. That Starbucks Soy No-Water Tazo Chai was the thing. The sweet drug that gave me (adult) escape from my hectic days. Hectic days for which I don’t have nearly enough energy. I just don’t. So hard. Even if I chugged it in 5 sweet minutes, that drink was my escape. My pocket.
My 21-day cleanse has given me the opportunity to try life without that pocket. And to find new pockets. Healthier pockets.
Yes, Without the drink, I’ve rediscovered new, healthier pockets. Herbal tea. 30 Rock. Kitties….
…And yoga class. The bamboo room, the passion about yoga, the body, the poses….
But, what happens tomorrow — now that the cleanse, THE CHALLENGE, is OVER? I haven’t had sugar or caffeine in 21 days, and I SURVIVED.
I’m thinking I’m healthier for it.
Thinking I actually have MONEY in my bank account — those Starbucks chais were costing me $35 a week!!!!!!! (extra exclamation marks WARRANTED!)
Thinking I like the way my body looks sans sugar and caffeine — sans Starbucks.
Thinking I should extend the cleanse 50 more days. And, then 50 more after that. And after that….
Can I do it, Gorgeouses? Can I stay off the chais — and off sugar and caffeine TOMORROW? Or, will I try that chai again just to see…. Just to see if I REALLY like it. Or, if I was just loving the ILLUSION of POCKET that it gave me…?
I don’t know, Gorgeouses. I need a pocket right now. And yoga this week was canceled.
Chances to win $100 toward best skincare lines in the world! Check it — at Goodies.
Hmmm…, let’s check our phone messages. See who called while I was working out earlier (to my new AWESOME Turbo Jam DVD — it is, indeed, as amazing and addictive as Marie-Christine said, and you NEED to check it)….
Dialing… *98. Here we go.
“You have 1 new message. Sent today at 2:23pm.”
Wonder who it is? Maybe it’s it’sgrandma? Hmmm…. Excitement. Most excitement had all day with two moody Monkeys…. Let’s listen:
Hi Haley. It’s K from across the street. And I know what YOU’RE doing. I just had my cataract operation, which is probably why I can see right into your window. And, you’re working out! Good thing you’re wearing clothes, heh. Don’t do too much, okay. Oh my, Glen is laughing at what I’m saying on the phone here. Happy Holiday. See you soon. Hopefully very soon.
AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH! Gorgeouses…. It’s K again. Remember her? My old-lady neighbour from across the street who drove me BONKERS when I was 35 weeks preggers with the Rascal? Well, I’ve been a nice girl — doing groceries for her and cooking her a home-cooked meal when she was wheel-chair ridden for 6 weeks after a friendly dog knocked her down, and giving her a lift when I see her walking, etc., etc…. People should DEFINITELY help their elderly neighbours. But, THIS is what I get in return? More stalkage? I WANT NOTHING in return. NOTHING. Except my privacy. At least when I’m working out. ESPECIALLY when I’m working out. And, maybe the good karma (never hurts)?
It was bad enough that I had to stop my 45-minute workout midway to change a diaper and take a monkey to the washroom. But, then someone ELSE is watching me, pestering me? I need that like I need to watch ANOTHER episode of The Backyardigans. Double AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!
I probably sound awful. Like a horrible, agist person. But, how am I going to workout in my living room again. HOWWW?
And, that workout was so much fun….
Josh-O, of course, thinks it’s no big deal that K was watching and CALLING to tell me. But, I still have preggers weight to lose. A considerable amount, I think, and I want to do it with dignity, and without SPIES. Grrrrr….
I love elderly ladies. Really. But, this one is SUPER annoying. I can’t even TELL YOU! Her husband Glen is even worse: “You’re going to get a stroke from not getting enough sleep, you know. I’m telling you. You’re not too young. Better watch that.” Yeah, great conversation piece there….
So, that’s my rant. I’m really happy 2008′s coming to a close. It was a tough year, as most numerologists and astrologists would attest. Lots of cleansing and ridding — which means lots of frustration and angst, and depression if your birthday’s between March 10 and March 17 or between September 10 (me!) and September 17, apparently — something to do with Saturn and the Sun…. According to my charts (and those of you with one of the aforementioned birthdays), I’ve been depressed for 2 years, and things should look up 2 months from now. HOLLAHHH!
I MAY have a chai tea latte tomorrow and start my NO CHAI resolution on January 1st. As Renee recommended, I’m going to put a little ticker tape thing in the sidebar to help me. Look out for that!
Oh, and many of you asked: WHY QUIT THE CHAI — thine ONLY adulty saving grace in a day full of MONKEY!? Because it’s full of sugar and caffeine. It messes with my moods. I also don’t drink milk; so, I go for the soy. And, there’s a ton of soy milk in those drinks. And, Starbucks’ soy milk contains even more sugar (organic cane sugar, but still), and a controversial substance called carrageenan.
Basically, as a vegan, I need to make healthier choices. A Starbucks Soy No Water Tazo Chai is breakfast for me (it’s extremely filling). And, that’s just bullocks. One of my goals for 2009 is to not depend on food to lift my mood. Because, when I use food that way, I inevitably CRASH because of it. I don’t know what’s happened to me…. Maybe my bod’s reacting to the Earth’s changing vibrations (NEW AGEY, I know). But, I’m so emotionally sensitive to food these days. When I eat better, I feel better….
Still on holiday, but there are things to share. I WAS going to talk about my New Year’s resolutions, but I’m still pondering them.
One of them, however, I’ve already started. FAREWELL to Starbucks grande soy no-water tazo chai. YES. I’ve officially quit that dreaded drink. Well, it’s been two days. And, Gorgeouses, I feel like ARRRRRRRRRRSE! Not only am I in MAJOR caffeine withdrawal, but I’m also in MAJOR sugar withdrawal. In a word: EXHAUSTED. YOU try to give up your daily sugar-caffeine-fix-in-a-GRANDE-cup, and see how YOU feel. It’s brutal. BRUTAL. I’m exhausted and headachy and a little depressed because that thing had serious pick-me-up powers. POWERS. It’s totally like quitting cigarettes — a lifestyle! It’s like sitting at a bar the day you quit cigarettes (in university): sitting across from this guy, one hand holding a beer and the other hand empty, and you’re all, like, WHAT are we going to talk about…and suddenly bars aren’t so fun anymore….
I WAS able to go to Starbucks today without caving and buying a chai. A good sign. When I got home, though, I was exhausted and weary and NEEDING STIMULATION. So, I grabbed a cookie. And another. And another.
Well, one thing at a time. I won’t be hard on myself. In place of the chai, I’ve been enjoying my morning smoothie in a Starbucks mug….
In other news, I got an awesome haircut from THE MAN Henry at Calia….
I look TIRED. And, of course, that’s Uniqua from The Backyardigans in the background. The Monkey’s obsessed. There are no words. At least not right now. Too tired. Need caffeine. And sugar. Just….
Wings!
Here’s Cat in the Cupboard — Tigger being mischievous….
Oh wait, I know what I need. More water. WATER will help me get through the WITHDRAWAL. Lasts longer than COOKIE and makes hair and eyes SHINE. Going to get some right now.
If I don’t blog before Thursday (still technically taking bloggy holiday), HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Love!
xo Haley-O
I’ve been busy on my bloggy holiday. Check CHEATY RECOMMENDS for deets on how you can give to charity fast and easy (before December 31) through CanadaHelps.org. There’s also a chance to win a $25 gift certificate to a charity of your choice. Love!
It’s not a great writing day for me today. Even though I had a BEAUTIFUL yoga class, in which we chanted WHILE doing poses for TWO HOURS (total bliss), I’ve feeling utterly loopy. And, loopy is not good for the blogging.
Mostly, I’m loopy because I’ve been OCD’ing about soy this evening. Is it good for me? Is it bad for me? Can I, INDEED, drink my favourite drink — STARBUCKS SOY NO-WATER CHAI LATTE — every single day guilt free?
Unless I’m on the run, now, I ALWAYS get my chai latte FOR HERE. Because, as one of my fave baristas told me the other day, the Starbucks cups are practically non-recyclable because they’re lined with a thin plastic film…. Eeek. Something to think about, Gorgeouses. And, a good reason (aside from the soy issue) for me to stop drinking the darn thing unless I’m able to SIT THERE with MUG. The $35/week that I spend on this addiction is ANOTHER VERY GOOD reason to quit….
And, NOW, how can I write during this week’s The Hills episode? I mean, you’re telling me I’m supposed to LOOK AT THIS COMPUTER SCREEN while Heidi and Spencer are ELOPING (conveniently in front of The Hills crew members)? I mean that’s just TOO GOOD to miss.
Not that I’m a fan of the two of them. I’m TEAM LAUREN all the way. But, the “Speidi” fascinates me because they’re just SO RIDICULOUSLY FAKE! I mean, it’s INSULTING that they’d think for a minute that I, Haley-O, would believe anything they say or do….
It’s like they were MEANT TO BE together, though, because they both have the same middle name: “P.R.”!
But, omigosh, Heidi was totally DRUNK when when she agreed to marry him! He DID “drug her,” as her mom said to US Magazine! And, ew, they’re sitting in bed THE MORNING AFTER THEIR WEDDING with The Hill‘s TV Crew RIGHT THERE. INSANITY INSANITY INSANITY.
Sigh, I love trashy TV. How excited am I for Whitney’s new spin-off: The City. Cannot WAIT. Here’s the trailer…because you know you love it….
I CAN’T tell you I’ll be watching Brody Jenner’s new show, Bromance, though. OY! OF COURSE I WILL.
Ahem. See, I told you I shouldn’t write tonight.
But, if I WERE to write something about my day today, it’d be this: my kids, they LOVE each other now…!!!
It’s REALLY hard to see from these back-of-the-head photos, but they’re playing TOGETHER, and laughing hysterically. I’m cooking dinner, and HE is chasing HER around house…. Too cute. TOO!
Mmmm…, orange juice. I just had the biggest craving. Better now.
Yes, my little monkeys LOVE EACH OTHER. Rascal (who now crawls around saying HIS OWN NAME over and over) stands, holding his little arms out to the side to balance, grinning ear to ear, and the Monkey is screaming, “MAMA! LOOK! HE’S STANDING! HE’S STANDING! HE’S STANDING! COME SEEEEEE! COME SEEEEEE!” Apparently, the novelty of Rascal standing hasn’t warn off for her yet…. Of course, he loves it. She’s his personal cheering squad. Gorgeouses!? It’s so cute!
Finally…. If I WERE to write ONE MORE THING about my day today, it be about the curious thing I found while I was walking Rascal this afternoon….
An angel…. Talk about RANDOM. LOOK AT THAT THING! But, really, there’s no such thing as random. Perhaps this means something? Hmmmm….
And, WOW, did you hear this? Japanese scientists have found a way to read minds and SEE YOUR DREAMS!?!? I’m not sure what’s harder to believe: a world in which science can read MINDS? or that Heidi and Spencer are in fact in love and more than just a PR stunt….
Well, it was great chatting with you this evening….
See you tomorrow!
Love!
xo Haley-O
I’m stuck in this computer, and I can’t get OUUUUUUT! Hellooooooo, out there!!! Gorgeous? You reading this? I’m STUCK!!!! GET ME OUT!
Actually, I’m not in the computer. I’m sitting at my dining room table. It’s Wednesday evening. And, Rascal has just thrown his entire dinner on the floor, on the wall, at me. My heart is pounding out of my chest, and all I keep hearing is my own voice in my head saying GET ME THE F-K OUT OF HERE!
Yesterday was TOO HARD. So, I woke up PISSED off that I had to jump out of bed and do it all again.
Also, yesterday, I had TWO rubber bands IN A ROW snap on me (OUCH), which tells me (maybe?) that there’s supposed to be TWO days of this continuous SNAPPAGE. So, tomorrow WILL be better.
Elastics on my cat….
Actually, maybe it just means that I’m going to have TWO Starbucks soy no-water chai tea lattes and I better SNAP out of it and get back on the stimulant-free wagon — BORRRRRING!
I liked what Kristen said in yesterday’s comments. She said she hoped I had a chance to “renew my spirit.” Beautiful…. The answer is NO. But, I want to go into tomorrow fresh. So, I think it’s time for a little spiritual renewal, shall we?
Ahhhhhhhhh. Better. Now, I’m going to bathe the Rascal, enjoy my chai latte guilt free — especially since, of course, IT’S MY LAST ONE EVER! Because, after the soy-cheese pizza I tasted last night? EWWWW! I’m actually starting to VOMIT IN MY MOUTH at the thought of soy milk or cheese. So, good. This might be the end of the CHAI. Perfect time to renew the spirit. You know what? Now that I think of it, ew. Better call Josh and tell him to fogetaboudit.
And, by the way? I’ve said this before and I’ll say this again: IF you decide to try Starbucks chai-tea latte BECAUSE OF ME and THEN become hooked on it? Do not blame me. I’ve heard it ALL before (ohhhh the emails I get about this). I WARNED YOU. Yes, I WARNED you! But, I guess it’s like what they say about pink elephants. If I say “DON’T THINK ABOUT PINK ELEPHANTS,” what are you going to do? You’re going to think about pink elephants…. It’s the human condition.
My cousin MILES is UP FIRST tonight (Wednesday evening) on So You Think You Can Dance Canada! Canadian Gorgeouses, exercise your right to VOTE! A lot…!
Okay, just watched Miles and, as their song went, “OH MY GOODNESS OH MY GOSH”!!! BUCK!!!!! They were BUCK!!! Wait ’til you see it on YouTube. I’ll post it asap. MILES! Dat sh-t is BUCK! Just. Too bad those abs don’t run in the family. Well, they used to — pre-baby….
xoxo! Haley-O
PS: NOT-SCARY contest over at GOODIES! Sign up! It’s GOOD for you! And, seriously, I want to do something profound for you…. Because love….
PPS: I dropped the price of our Single-Peg Coathooks. They’re now ONLY $25! YEEEAAAHHH BOOYYYY! Please check Kids Deserve Art for your gifties! Thanks….
I got an email from BFF Lolo today with a bunch of questions I’m supposed to answer. You know, an email meme, AS IT WERE (a phrase I haven’t used since grad school, blergbergbeglerrrrrrrrg). So, I thought it might be fun to ACTUALLY do this meme, edit a few of the questions a WEEEEE bit to suit the BLOG GENRE, and post it here. I also thought maybe YOU GORGEOUSES would want to do it — either in the comments or on your blog, if you have one (but post your link in the comments). It’s a fun one and a good way for us to get to know each other better. You in? CHECK IT!
(NOTE: Click HERE to get the list of questions you can cut and paste — EASY — into your blog or the comments. LOVE!)
1. What time did you get up this morning? 5am and 7am…. 2. Diamonds or pearls? Pearls…. 3. What was the first film you saw at the cinema? I fully cannot remember. I think the first one I remember seeing in the theatre was ET, but there had to have been earlier ones…. 4. What is your favorite TV show? Just one?? Right now, I’m loving THE TUDORS because I SO lived another life in that time, was probably a peasant…, and because HELLO (caution: the following preview is HHHHHOTT):
And, in case you were wondering? I’m a Jeremy Northam girl, but I definitely see the SEXual appeal of Jonathan Rys Meyers. DEFINITELY. Also, Natalie Dormer? PERFECT Anne Boleyn. PERFECT. I mean, WOW. You MUST watch this, Gorgeouses?
Also? Because it’s my blog and I’m a TV WHORE and a claim-to-fame WHORE, I love SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE CANADA because my first cousin MILES FABER, MADE IT TO THE TOP 20! HOLLAHHHHH!
I could not be PROUDER! Soooo, if you haven’t seen it already, check him in this vid — this was the first audition that got him to the Toronto finals…. He’s the second one in….
The judges LOVE HIM!
Okay! And, we’re only on question 4…. Moving right along….
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Errrrrmmmm, Starbucks soy no-water chai tea latte…. 6. What is your middle name(s)? Rachel…. 7. What food do you dislike? Any food that involves cruelty to animals…. 8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Oh gosh. I think the yoga mix I created for the classes I teach (they’re totally KEY for me to keep track of the time). It’s LOVERLY and calming and so pretty…. Here’s a song from it (since so many of you loved the other songs from the CD that I posted a while back)…. Enjoy….
That’s “Paramaysareh,” by Snatam Kaur, from her album Anand (Bliss).
9. What kind of car do you drive? Silver SUV…. 10. Favorite sandwich? Grilled Vegetable…. 11. What characteristic do you despise? Passive Aggressiveness…. 12. Favorite item of clothing? My Lululemon pants, of course… 13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Right now, I’d really like to go to a Yoga retreat — maybe one in Costa Rica…. 14. Favorite brand of clothing? Would have to be Lululemon — only the pants, though…. 15. Where would you retire to? I think I’d like to travel the world when I retire, and keep my residence in Toronto (my parents are doing that, and it’s a beautiful, exciting life)…. 16. What was your most recent memorable birthday? Oh gosh. This last one. Because it SUCKED BEYOND. Heh…. 17. Favorite sport to watch? Gymnastics, then diving, then basketball…. 18. Furtherest place you are sending this? Probably Gorgeous Ellen (aka GOOFBALL) in BELGIUM! 19. Person you expect to do this first? I have NO IDEA! And, I have this uncomfortable feeling that NO ONE’s going to do this, and that I’m going to look like a big LOO-HOOOO-SER! You know what, though? I’m coo widdat…. 20. When is your birthday? September 10, 1974…. 21. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night person (also, apparently, an ellipses person…………….., in case you haven’t noticed by now…….LOVE…….!)…. 22. What is your shoe size? I just learned that since I had Rascal I went UP A HALF A SIZE! I’m now, officially, a 7 and a half. 23. Pets?One Three cats.
Yes, that’s a banana. I had to dance with a banana because my maraca was too dangerous…, ahem……
Take it from Monkey, you do NOT want to get THWACKED in the head with THAT thing. You want to STAY AWAY FROM your CARAZAY dancing, maraca-shaking mama!
24. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share with us? MY COUSIN MILES FABER MADE IT TO THE TOP 20 OF SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE CANADA! 25. What did you want to be when you were little? An artist. With special powers. 26. How are you today? Happy. 27. What is your favorite candy? Anything chocolate. With peanuts. (It’s been a while, come to think of it!) 28. What is your favorite flower? The rose — any colour. 29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? HALLOWEEN! 30. What is your favorite pastime? Yoga…. 31. What are you listening to right now? Josh-O tapping away on his computer…. 32. What was the last thing you ate? Homemade Chai Tea with milk and agave nectar…. 33. Do you wish on stars? Yes…. 34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Purple…. 35. How is the weather right now? Cold and damp…. 36. The first person you spoke to on the phone today? Josh-O…. 37. Favorite restaurant? Cravings (because Lolo and I just went there and I loved every minute of it — it’d been a LO-HO-HONG time since I’d been to a restaurant)…. 38. Real hair color? auburn-ish (I don’t dye it)…. 39. What was your favorite toy as a child? sighhhh, Barbie, and my Cabbage Patch Kids (and Dog “Kasey”)…. 40. Summer or winter? Neither! I love the more moderate temperatures of Fall and Spring…. 41. Hugs or kisses? Hugs…. 42. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate…. 43. Coffee or tea? Duuuhhhhh…. Freakin’ tea (dang Starbucks!)…. 44. Do you want your friends to do this in the comments or their blogs? Why? YES! Because I want to get to know them better, and because I think memes are fun and healthy and not for bloggers alone! 45. When was the last time you cried? My birthday (but I could cry if I wanted to…)… 46. What is under your bed? A yoga bolster and a meditation pillow…. 47. What did you do last night? Got home from the country, dinner at it’sgrandma’s and papa’shere, and WATCHED MY CUZ MILES FABER (VOTE FOR HIM) MAKE IT TO THE TOP 20 OF SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE CANADA. 48. What are you afraid of? On a bad day? Everything. On a good day? Nothing. 49. How many keys on your key ring? I’m SO not getting my sorry arse off this couch to check, but I think 4…. 50. How many years at your current job? I’ve been blogging for 2.5 years, selling art for 2.6 years, teaching yoga for 4.5 years…. 51. Favorite day of the week? Saturday…. 52. How many towns have you lived in? including as a kid? 4 (Toronto, Montreal, Hamilton, London)…. 53. Do you make friends easily? Yes…. 54. How many people will you send this to? Ummm…. Hundreds? (But, I don’t like to think about that because OVERWHELMS.) 55. How many will respond? I’m hoping at least 10ish? STEP UP TO THE PLATE, THOUGH, GORGEOUSES! We want to KNOW YOU! 56. Salty or sweet? Lately salty! Which is SO UNLIKE ME! But, I never say no to sweet. And, HELLO CHAI TEA LATTE? AKA, my CRACK? Could NOT be any sweeter…. 57. Favorite soft drink? None. I don’t drink zee soft drink.
YOU’RE UP, GORGEOUSES!
Look! Rascal throwing a tantrum in LEG WARMERS….
SLIPPER!!!!!!! (Paul Frank, of course! They are awesome….)
You know what this reminds me of? BUT, OF COURSE (dance with me!)….
It’s Rascal. On a little bike. His feet don’t quite reach the pedals, as you can see…. But, look how CUTE! He LOVES it! He’s such a big boy now — even though he’s still so little…. I could kiss that blond head until my lips get callused.
‘Kay so now I woke up this morning, and what was the first thing I thought about? Can you guess? My Starbucks Soy No-Water Chai Tea Latte.
I know. I KNOWWWW. Enough with the chai tea latte, Haley!
But, see, it’s not about the chai tea latte itself. I know this INTUITIVELY, Gorgeouses. It’s what it represents. And, how what it represents is preventing me from moving forward in my life and, basically, from getting well.
See, I STILL have 40 pounds of pregnancy weight to lose. STILL. Rascal’s 10 months old. And, I know I don’t have to get all the way down to my pre-pregnancy weight. And, I know I’m still breastfeeding. But, I’d like to get a LITTLE BIT A LOT closer to my ideal weight.
I’d like, MY GOD, to stop looking pregnant!
But, see, when I went to the meditation workshop yesterday, a whole lot of stuff came up. All this pregnancy weight is BAGGAGE. It’s leftover EMOTIONAL WEIGHT from the trauma of my pregnancies (particularly my first one). I haven’t been able to let it all go, free myself from it, and move on! I still live in fear of that ARFUL anxiety YES I DO.
The chai tea is my very FATTENING escape. I know, it’s not THAT bad. But, it sets me up for a day full of cravings and mood swings. It keeps me from achieving the healthy diet my body craves in order to get well, to shed all this baggage and weight.
It’s been keeping me from eating the big bowl of fruit I had for breakfast this morning, FOR EXAMPLE.
I don’t want to waste my life away in a Starbucks cafe. I don’t want to look and FEEL pregnant forever.
So, basically, I had fruit for breakfast today instead of my Starbucks. A nice big bowl of blueberries. Mmmm….
I felt energized, yes. And, fairly sweet-tooth satisfied. It’s just that…now I have a headache. a GRANDE NO-WATER SIZED HEADACHE. But, no plastic-lined paper cups were used in the creation of this headache, and this headache is EXACTLY ZERO CALORIES. Sweet, indeed.
And, WILL Sabrina Newman die on Young and the Restless?
Oh, oops. She just died. Sad. I think I almost shed a tear. Stunning. I’ll miss looking at her. But, I won’t miss all the “mon amour” talk with Victor because eww. EEeeeeeek the little girl ghost is freaking the CARP out of me. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Y&R is doing a NUMBER on me tonight!
Anyway, I need to get well, Gorgeouses. And, I need to do it the CHEATY (aka EXTREME) way. It’s a life goal. The only thing stopping me from achieving it is me. Every morning. When I wake up and immediately think with EXCITEMENT about sabotaging that life goal.
Gorgeouses are probably SICK AND TIRED of hearing about my life dreams and goals. But, life is too short to sweat the small stuff.
All the yoga is getting to my head and seeping into my LIFE OMIGARSH. I think that’s what it’s supposed to do. But, it’s crazy. I’ve been practicing for 25 years! And, it’s having this effect NOW…? Wonder what’s up?
By the way, IS IT ME? Or, do you crack up, too, when Cat Deeley says to the eliminated So You Think You Can Dance dancers, “let’s have a look at your best bits”?
Okay. Off to the country for the week. There are NO STARBUCKS there and plenty of BLUEBERRIES. Poor kitties will MISS moi. But, I’ve got them well taken care of. And plant. Plant will be well watered and talked to. I’ll blog when and where I can with lots of COUNTRAY wisdom. Will try HARD to kiss a cow for you, Gorgeouses. LOVE!
Ugh. I know. I’m OBSESSED. I should be focusing on my baby right now. I should relax about the weight a little. I should just not think about it and let it blissfully melt off from the breastfeeding. After all, as EVERYONE says to me, the rascal’s “ONLY 6 weeks!”, and I “just gave birth”! Yes, yes, that’s all true. But, if I don’t actually focus on this weight loss thing now, I’m convinced I’ll become obese. And, that’s NOT OKAY.
You know. You see it all the time. A mother, hasn’t lost the weight, becomes obese and ends up on some annoying TV paid advertisement for some stupid diet holding up next to her buff toned bawd a YUMONGOUS pair of old pleated plus-size pants. I DON’T want to be that woman! Don’t want to get to that “before” picture. I want to go STRAIGHT to “after.”
Really, I don’t have to be buff-toned. I just want to fit into some nice clothes. If I’m going to be Heidi Klum (ahem…), I’ve simply GOT to be able to wear decent clothes. It’s bad enough that I’m only 5’1″….
My friend JL is going to HATE me for starting this new diet. She thinks women need to stop obsessing about being skinny. And, she SO thinks that I’m sitting here reinforcing society’s unfair, warped, unhealthy ideal of beauty. And, perhaps I am. But, for the record, I don’t need to go back to my old size-0 body — which involved MUCH obsession, and depression. I just want to get back to a healthy, energetic bawd that I can enjoy putting clothes on again…and, taking them off — haaarrrrr!
Besides, I chose WeightWatchers Online. I chose it because I can still have MY FAVOURITE TREAT EVERY DAY: Starbucks Chai Tea Latte (the tall nonfat is only 3 points). PLUS, because I’m nursing (every freaking second, it seems!), I get to eat an OBSCENE amount of food — for a diet.
I dunno. This diet seems friendly to me. And, I don’t have to go to any WW meetings — what new mom has time for that?
Can I just tell you? I’m THIS close to losing it right now. About to explode AM I. It’s almost 2am, and HE’S. STILL. AWAKE. And, HE’S BEEN AWAKE ALL EVENING!
Yes, I’m sitting here. Boobs popping out of my horribly awful nursing bra. And, he insists on taking a booooobeeeee. I’m, like, crying.
At least he’s SOOOOO ‘dorable…..
He’s LUCKY he’s soooo ‘dorable…! (Teddy-bear snuggly c/o ALI! LOVE!) I think I might vomit, I’m so tired! Either vomit, or eat my frustrations away….. See? MUST be on diet NOW!
