I’m stuck in this computer, and I can’t get OUUUUUUT! Hellooooooo, out there!!! Gorgeous? You reading this? I’m STUCK!!!! GET ME OUT!

Actually, I’m not in the computer. I’m sitting at my dining room table. It’s Wednesday evening. And, Rascal has just thrown his entire dinner on the floor, on the wall, at me. My heart is pounding out of my chest, and all I keep hearing is my own voice in my head saying GET ME THE F-K OUT OF HERE!

Yesterday was TOO HARD. So, I woke up PISSED off that I had to jump out of bed and do it all again.

Also, yesterday, I had TWO rubber bands IN A ROW snap on me (OUCH), which tells me (maybe?) that there’s supposed to be TWO days of this continuous SNAPPAGE. So, tomorrow WILL be better.

Elastics on my cat….

Actually, maybe it just means that I’m going to have TWO Starbucks soy no-water chai tea lattes and I better SNAP out of it and get back on the stimulant-free wagon — BORRRRRING!

I liked what Kristen said in yesterday’s comments. She said she hoped I had a chance to “renew my spirit.” Beautiful…. The answer is NO. But, I want to go into tomorrow fresh. So, I think it’s time for a little spiritual renewal, shall we?

Ahhhhhhhhh. Better. Now, I’m going to bathe the Rascal, enjoy my chai latte guilt free — especially since, of course, IT’S MY LAST ONE EVER! Because, after the soy-cheese pizza I tasted last night? EWWWW! I’m actually starting to VOMIT IN MY MOUTH at the thought of soy milk or cheese. So, good. This might be the end of the CHAI. Perfect time to renew the spirit. You know what? Now that I think of it, ew. Better call Josh and tell him to fogetaboudit.

And, by the way? I’ve said this before and I’ll say this again: IF you decide to try Starbucks chai-tea latte BECAUSE OF ME and THEN become hooked on it? Do not blame me. I’ve heard it ALL before (ohhhh the emails I get about this). I WARNED YOU. Yes, I WARNED you! But, I guess it’s like what they say about pink elephants. If I say “DON’T THINK ABOUT PINK ELEPHANTS,” what are you going to do? You’re going to think about pink elephants…. It’s the human condition.

My cousin MILES is UP FIRST tonight (Wednesday evening) on So You Think You Can Dance Canada! Canadian Gorgeouses, exercise your right to VOTE! A lot…!

Photos, with thanks, c/o the So You Think You Can Dance Canada website.

Okay, just watched Miles and, as their song went, “OH MY GOODNESS OH MY GOSH”!!! BUCK!!!!! They were BUCK!!! Wait ’til you see it on YouTube. I’ll post it asap. MILES! Dat sh-t is BUCK! Just. Too bad those abs don’t run in the family. Well, they used to — pre-baby….

xoxo! Haley-O

PS: NOT-SCARY contest over at GOODIES! Sign up! It’s GOOD for you! And, seriously, I want to do something profound for you…. Because love….

PPS: I dropped the price of our Single-Peg Coathooks. They’re now ONLY $25! YEEEAAAHHH BOOYYYY! Please check Kids Deserve Art for your gifties! Thanks….

I got an email from BFF Lolo today with a bunch of questions I’m supposed to answer. You know, an email meme, AS IT WERE (a phrase I haven’t used since grad school, blergbergbeglerrrrrrrrg). So, I thought it might be fun to ACTUALLY do this meme, edit a few of the questions a WEEEEE bit to suit the BLOG GENRE, and post it here. I also thought maybe YOU GORGEOUSES would want to do it — either in the comments or on your blog, if you have one (but post your link in the comments). It’s a fun one and a good way for us to get to know each other better. You in? CHECK IT!

(NOTE: Click HERE to get the list of questions you can cut and paste — EASY — into your blog or the comments. LOVE!)

1. What time did you get up this morning? 5am and 7am….
2. Diamonds or pearls? Pearls….
3. What was the first film you saw at the cinema? I fully cannot remember. I think the first one I remember seeing in the theatre was ET, but there had to have been earlier ones….
4. What is your favorite TV show? Just one?? Right now, I’m loving THE TUDORS because I SO lived another life in that time, was probably a peasant…, and because HELLO (caution: the following preview is HHHHHOTT):

And, in case you were wondering? I’m a Jeremy Northam girl, but I definitely see the SEXual appeal of Jonathan Rys Meyers. DEFINITELY. Also, Natalie Dormer? PERFECT Anne Boleyn. PERFECT. I mean, WOW. You MUST watch this, Gorgeouses?

Also? Because it’s my blog and I’m a TV WHORE and a claim-to-fame WHORE, I love SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE CANADA because my first cousin MILES FABER, MADE IT TO THE TOP 20! HOLLAHHHHH!

I could not be PROUDER! Soooo, if you haven’t seen it already, check him in this vid — this was the first audition that got him to the Toronto finals…. He’s the second one in….

The judges LOVE HIM!

Okay! And, we’re only on question 4…. Moving right along….

5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Errrrrmmmm, Starbucks soy no-water chai tea latte….
6. What is your middle name(s)? Rachel….
7. What food do you dislike? Any food that involves cruelty to animals….
8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Oh gosh. I think the yoga mix I created for the classes I teach (they’re totally KEY for me to keep track of the time). It’s LOVERLY and calming and so pretty…. Here’s a song from it (since so many of you loved the other songs from the CD that I posted a while back)…. Enjoy….

That’s “Paramaysareh,” by Snatam Kaur, from her album Anand (Bliss).

9. What kind of car do you drive? Silver SUV….
10. Favorite sandwich? Grilled Vegetable….
11. What characteristic do you despise? Passive Aggressiveness….
12. Favorite item of clothing? My Lululemon pants, of course…
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Right now, I’d really like to go to a Yoga retreat — maybe one in Costa Rica….
14. Favorite brand of clothing? Would have to be Lululemon — only the pants, though….
15. Where would you retire to? I think I’d like to travel the world when I retire, and keep my residence in Toronto (my parents are doing that, and it’s a beautiful, exciting life)….
16. What was your most recent memorable birthday? Oh gosh. This last one. Because it SUCKED BEYOND. Heh….
17. Favorite sport to watch? Gymnastics, then diving, then basketball….
18. Furtherest place you are sending this? Probably Gorgeous Ellen (aka GOOFBALL) in BELGIUM!
19. Person you expect to do this first? I have NO IDEA! And, I have this uncomfortable feeling that NO ONE’s going to do this, and that I’m going to look like a big LOO-HOOOO-SER! You know what, though? I’m coo widdat….
20. When is your birthday? September 10, 1974….
21. Are you a morning person or a night person? Night person (also, apparently, an ellipses person…………….., in case you haven’t noticed by now…….LOVE…….!)….
22. What is your shoe size? I just learned that since I had Rascal I went UP A HALF A SIZE! I’m now, officially, a 7 and a half.
23. Pets? One Three cats.

Yes, that’s a banana. I had to dance with a banana because my maraca was too dangerous…, ahem……

Take it from Monkey, you do NOT want to get THWACKED in the head with THAT thing. You want to STAY AWAY FROM your CARAZAY dancing, maraca-shaking mama!

24. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share with us? MY COUSIN MILES FABER MADE IT TO THE TOP 20 OF SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE CANADA!
25. What did you want to be when you were little? An artist. With special powers.
26. How are you today? Happy.
27. What is your favorite candy? Anything chocolate. With peanuts. (It’s been a while, come to think of it!)
28. What is your favorite flower? The rose — any colour.
29. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? HALLOWEEN!
30. What is your favorite pastime? Yoga….
31. What are you listening to right now? Josh-O tapping away on his computer….
32. What was the last thing you ate? Homemade Chai Tea with milk and agave nectar….
33. Do you wish on stars? Yes….
34. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Purple….
35. How is the weather right now? Cold and damp….
36. The first person you spoke to on the phone today? Josh-O….
37. Favorite restaurant? Cravings (because Lolo and I just went there and I loved every minute of it — it’d been a LO-HO-HONG time since I’d been to a restaurant)….
38. Real hair color? auburn-ish (I don’t dye it)….
39. What was your favorite toy as a child? sighhhh, Barbie, and my Cabbage Patch Kids (and Dog “Kasey”)….
40. Summer or winter? Neither! I love the more moderate temperatures of Fall and Spring….
41. Hugs or kisses? Hugs….
42. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate….
43. Coffee or tea? Duuuhhhhh…. Freakin’ tea (dang Starbucks!)….
44. Do you want your friends to do this in the comments or their blogs? Why? YES! Because I want to get to know them better, and because I think memes are fun and healthy and not for bloggers alone!
45. When was the last time you cried? My birthday (but I could cry if I wanted to…)…
46. What is under your bed? A yoga bolster and a meditation pillow….
47. What did you do last night? Got home from the country, dinner at it’sgrandma’s and papa’shere, and WATCHED MY CUZ MILES FABER (VOTE FOR HIM) MAKE IT TO THE TOP 20 OF SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE CANADA.
48. What are you afraid of? On a bad day? Everything. On a good day? Nothing.
49. How many keys on your key ring? I’m SO not getting my sorry arse off this couch to check, but I think 4….
50. How many years at your current job? I’ve been blogging for 2.5 years, selling art for 2.6 years, teaching yoga for 4.5 years….
51. Favorite day of the week? Saturday….
52. How many towns have you lived in? including as a kid? 4 (Toronto, Montreal, Hamilton, London)….
53. Do you make friends easily? Yes….
54. How many people will you send this to? Ummm…. Hundreds? (But, I don’t like to think about that because OVERWHELMS.)
55. How many will respond? I’m hoping at least 10ish? STEP UP TO THE PLATE, THOUGH, GORGEOUSES! We want to KNOW YOU!
56. Salty or sweet? Lately salty! Which is SO UNLIKE ME! But, I never say no to sweet. And, HELLO CHAI TEA LATTE? AKA, my CRACK? Could NOT be any sweeter….
57. Favorite soft drink? None. I don’t drink zee soft drink.

YOU’RE UP, GORGEOUSES!

Look! Rascal throwing a tantrum in LEG WARMERS….

SLIPPER!!!!!!! (Paul Frank, of course! They are awesome….)

You know what this reminds me of? BUT, OF COURSE (dance with me!)….

Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it.

CONGRATULATIONS to SCIFI DAD AND MULTITASKING MOMMY on the BIRTH OF THEIR NEW SON!!! Yaaayyyy!

Okay, how cute is this?

It’s Rascal. On a little bike. His feet don’t quite reach the pedals, as you can see…. But, look how CUTE! He LOVES it! He’s such a big boy now — even though he’s still so little…. I could kiss that blond head until my lips get callused.

‘Kay so now I woke up this morning, and what was the first thing I thought about? Can you guess? My Starbucks Soy No-Water Chai Tea Latte.

I know. I KNOWWWW. Enough with the chai tea latte, Haley!

But, see, it’s not about the chai tea latte itself. I know this INTUITIVELY, Gorgeouses. It’s what it represents. And, how what it represents is preventing me from moving forward in my life and, basically, from getting well.

See, I STILL have 40 pounds of pregnancy weight to lose. STILL. Rascal’s 10 months old. And, I know I don’t have to get all the way down to my pre-pregnancy weight. And, I know I’m still breastfeeding. But, I’d like to get a LITTLE BIT A LOT closer to my ideal weight.

I’d like, MY GOD, to stop looking pregnant!

But, see, when I went to the meditation workshop yesterday, a whole lot of stuff came up. All this pregnancy weight is BAGGAGE. It’s leftover EMOTIONAL WEIGHT from the trauma of my pregnancies (particularly my first one). I haven’t been able to let it all go, free myself from it, and move on! I still live in fear of that ARFUL anxiety YES I DO.

The chai tea is my very FATTENING escape. I know, it’s not THAT bad. But, it sets me up for a day full of cravings and mood swings. It keeps me from achieving the healthy diet my body craves in order to get well, to shed all this baggage and weight.

It’s been keeping me from eating the big bowl of fruit I had for breakfast this morning, FOR EXAMPLE.

I don’t want to waste my life away in a Starbucks cafe. I don’t want to look and FEEL pregnant forever.

So, basically, I had fruit for breakfast today instead of my Starbucks. A nice big bowl of blueberries. Mmmm….

I felt energized, yes. And, fairly sweet-tooth satisfied. It’s just that…now I have a headache. a GRANDE NO-WATER SIZED HEADACHE. But, no plastic-lined paper cups were used in the creation of this headache, and this headache is EXACTLY ZERO CALORIES. Sweet, indeed.

And, WILL Sabrina Newman die on Young and the Restless?

Oh, oops. She just died. Sad. I think I almost shed a tear. Stunning. I’ll miss looking at her. But, I won’t miss all the “mon amour” talk with Victor because eww. EEeeeeeek the little girl ghost is freaking the CARP out of me. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Y&R is doing a NUMBER on me tonight!

Anyway, I need to get well, Gorgeouses. And, I need to do it the CHEATY (aka EXTREME) way. It’s a life goal. The only thing stopping me from achieving it is me. Every morning. When I wake up and immediately think with EXCITEMENT about sabotaging that life goal.

Gorgeouses are probably SICK AND TIRED of hearing about my life dreams and goals. But, life is too short to sweat the small stuff.

All the yoga is getting to my head and seeping into my LIFE OMIGARSH. I think that’s what it’s supposed to do. But, it’s crazy. I’ve been practicing for 25 years! And, it’s having this effect NOW…? Wonder what’s up?

By the way, IS IT ME? Or, do you crack up, too, when Cat Deeley says to the eliminated So You Think You Can Dance dancers, “let’s have a look at your best bits”?

Okay. Off to the country for the week. There are NO STARBUCKS there and plenty of BLUEBERRIES. Poor kitties will MISS moi. But, I’ve got them well taken care of. And plant. Plant will be well watered and talked to. I’ll blog when and where I can with lots of COUNTRAY wisdom. Will try HARD to kiss a cow for you, Gorgeouses. LOVE!

xo Haley-O