She’s only 21 months, that cheaty little monkey. And, she HAS officially — like, AS OF TODAY — entered the terrible twos.

I know, I’ve said this before. But, now I’m SERIOUS. REAL serious. And, she picked the HOTTEST DAY EVAH to show her terribles.

Today’s Terrible Two Tantrums:

1. didn’t want to get out of her pajamas. Wahhh;
2. didn’t want to put on her shirt. Wahhh;
3. didn’t want to stay upstairs. Wahh;
4. didn’t want to go downstairs. Wahh;
5. didn’t want to share her babydoll with Benjamin. Wahh;
6. didn’t want lunch because wanted wagon ride: “WIGON!!! WIGON!!!” Wahh;
7. didn’t want to nap. Wahh;
8. didn’t want to get off the swing. Wahh;
9. wanted to get off the swing. Wahh;
10. didn’t want to get off the swing. Wahh;
11. wanted to get off the swing. Wahh;
12. didn’t want to get off the swing. Wahh, screeeeeeeeeech;
13. didn’t want to get out of the wagon. Wahh;
14. didn’t want dinner. Wahh!

You get the picture….

If she doesn’t want something…? “NOKAY! WAHHH!”

If she wants something…? “Peesh? AHKAY!” — and, do NOT mess with “Peesh Ahkay”? Or, you gonna get SCREAMED AT!

Meanwhile….

Today’s (Don’t-Worry-Minor) Anxiety Attacks:

1. The monkey ate some wax paper (on cupcake). Wahh;
2. It’s too hot for preggo girl. Wahh;
3. Should I be lifting the monkey so much? Wahh;
4. The blade on my blender’s dented — did I eat metal? Wahh;
5. I fed some guinea pigs at the monkey’s school — am I contaminated? Wahh;
6. The mumps have invaded Ontario — am I contaminated? Wahh;
7. I’m running around too much. Wahh;
8. Starbucks is making me fat. Wahh!

You get the picture….

Am seeing my prepardum depression psychiatrist first thing tomorrow. Good thing!

I made a DELISH chicken stir fry for dinner. Wish I had a pic of it. It was soooo GORJ. Of course, the monkey ate NONE of it. What did she eat? A bowl full of hummus and some applesauce. Yumm…. Cheaty little monkey! She’s terribly terrible-two-ey, but HILARIOUS and ADORABLE. LOVE!

HAAAAAAAATE THIS THING. BANE OF MY EXISTENCE IS:

Meet the monkey’s high chair. It’s the WORST thing ever invented. When we bought it, we thought, “AWWWWESOME! It turns into a rocking chair!” Have we used the rocking chair feature even once? NO!!!

Why is it so awful? Because t’s a freaking BITCH to clean. Today, like? I lifted up the plastic so-called protective padding to find a full-out POND underneath. Almost vomited. Can still smell it. Was NOT a happy camper:

Of course, I wore this mask so that I wouldn’t inhale any possibly-contaminating pond scum, strong smells or bleach fumes….