Hi Gorgeouses!

Thank you SO….

I’m trying to write my blog right now, but my GEEK of a husband is interrupting me with pictures of poker players and their fictional/celebrity lookalikes. I know. BAAAHHHH!

Just got back from an UNBELIEVABLE night out with IT’SGRANDMA. We went to my FAVE vegetarian restaurant (the one with the SWEET POTATO FRIES), where I enjoyed a light meal of vegan chili, their AWESOME cornbread and house salad. Divine…. Restored my enthusiasm about vegan eating. Because lately, I’ve been gagging at the mere thought of soy or legumes or leafy greens. But, anyway.

After dinner, we went to the Ballet and saw an INCREDIBLE, tray artsy performance of The Seagull.

The lead male, Zdenek Konvalina, looked just like Daniel Craig…. I felt like I was watching Daniel Craig dancing in next to NO CLOTHES. Awesome….

Bond…, James Bond….

Gorj….

I absolutely loved it: I laughed, I cried, I thought. Hard. Philosophized with it’sgrandma on desire and the human condition. It was awesome.

Then, I JUST got home and turned on So You Think You Can Dance Canada to watch my ADORABLE cousin Miles perform the BEST SOLO EVER on that stage RIGHT into the TOP SIX!

Gorgeouses! I know a lot of you are voting. THANK YOU! (And, see this post’s comments — Miles’s parents thank you, too!)

Here are the videos of the performances that had MIA MICHAELS saying she’s Miles’s “BIGGEST FAN”! CHECK IT!

Amazing, or what? Wait till you see the solo he did tonight. It was BY FAR the best of all the solos.

Final thing: SOMEONE loves hockey (needs haircut)….

Well…, he loves hockey sticks. He loves FLINGING them. Swiping air. He should NOT be enrolled in Sportball. He is WAY too young. But, he loves it. ‘Cuz it’s just him and me. He’s got me all to his li’l self.

That little guy, Gorgeouses? He drives me insane with his cuteness. He’s such a bizarre little guy, I gotta say. Take his CRAZY smile: he lifts his head back, closes his eyes, grins from ear to ear and goes “ksshhhhhhhh.” He DANCES CRAZY DANCE at the first beat of music he hears…. And, today he’s started trying SO HARD to stand up by himself (getting close!). He’s a silly little guy. SO SILLY. SO CRAZY CUTE. My sidekick. My little love…. OY!

I can’t seem to write ANYTHING. So much to say, and I just can’t get it together! So much to say — and, oh! It’s my cousin from NYC. I’m telling you: procrastination city over here…. Oh, and, look. Try typing with THIS staring at you:

Actually, I’m still getting over my FLU SHOT, which has rendered me DROWSY, IN PAIN, NAUSEOUS and DID I MENTION DROWSY? How ’bout EXHAUSTED? It was a little unfortunate because I was sick in New York, and we had to go home early from the Museum of Natural History….

Ooops! Sorry, wrong picture — that was Toys R’ Us (LOVE!)…. Here’s the museum….

Yeah, we’d been walking for a while, and then, all of a sudden, my feet felt like they were going to FALL OFF. And, I got f-f-f-reezing and achy everywhere. We had a wedding event that evening, and I totally didn’t think I’d be able to go. And, I was willing to sacrifice the WRATH of Josh-O’s family to FREEZE alone in my hotel bed. But, I ended up popping two advils (which I never do), and I MADE IT!

Speaking of wedding…. I promised I’d share my uggers dress with you! I only managed to get one pinkberry picture — which I took to send to my family back in Toronto. WARNING: it’s frightening. WARNING #2: my breasts are actually THE SAME SIZE; one is NOT impossibly bigger than the other….

I’m really not sure which boob is the actual size…. Anyway, I wish to thank DRESSMAKER FROM HELL for the lovely job on the PLEATS that made me look TRAY fat. I’ve always wanted to be the FAT BRIDESMAID. And, SHE (helped) make it happen. LOVE. Also, if I look like I was punched in the eye? It’s ‘cuz I’m pretty sure I WAS punched in the eye. My left eye was THROBBING with pain all day. Monkey slept in our hotel bed, so it’s very likely I was thwacked in the eye by either a foot, a fist or an elbow. Probably an elbow. Or, a knee. Because, if I remember correctly, Doc didn’t inject the flu shot in my eye….

Fortunately FOR ALL, the kids looked great at the wedding…. Monkey was a beautiful flower girl, and I was TRAY fahklempt walking down the aisle with her while she meticulously and with great seriousness scattered the rose petals….

Awww! I KNOW! And, look at my little ringbearer…. RAAAASCAAAAL! IN A TUXEDO (check the shoes!)!

Josh-O looked really spiffy himself…. Here we are at Rockefeller Center….

(That’s my bad angle. The photographer at the wedding, you should know, made sure I was photo’d at this angle, but with a little less nostril, of course, in all the photos. Which makes me SO happy. Because those are, like, FOREVER.)

We loved being in New York. It’s a fascinating city. We stayed at the Millennium Broadway Hotel in the heart of Times Square….

This picture was taken at FOUR in the afternoon. 4pm!!! It was SO DARK. Eerie almost. Surreal…. Sublime….

Check out that orb! Do you see that orb up there? Ghost?!?!?

Central Park, of course, was my favourite….

Also…. ALSO, the American Girl doll store. We went there to get Monkey the PERFECT gift for being such a great flower girl. EVERY girl who is ANY girl in NYC has an American Girl doll. They. Were. EVERYWHERE. Have you BEEN to this place? It’s insanity. LOOK:

No. They are not kidding.

Dolls. EVERYWHERE. Little girls. EVERYWHERE. And, it’s very serious…. There’s even a freaking cafe (”freak” being the operative word here)….

The monkey came out with this doll….

…whom she named SHIELA (don’t ask because I have NO IDEA where she got that name from…), middle name PEELA. Of course, we got monkey and the doll matching pajamas and slippers — because that’s…what you do….

We TRIED SO HARD to get Rascal a gift, but he wouldn’t take anything! Everything we gave him was THROWN out of the stroller…. See how hard we tried? See?!

Nothing. You know how hard it is to NOT be able to give your kid a gift? I bought him a little toy phone today, though, and he loves it. So, s’all good.

Hey, by the way, check it! I met my first bloggers ever! I’ve never met any bloggers that I didn’t know in real life EVER (oh, except for Toronto private-blogger Lisa B, whom I met in the parking lot at Loblaws). And, I survived. I met the lovely Steph, who quit blogging (wah!), and AmyD, who’s as gorj and fabulous as she appears on her blog. It was AWESOME meeting them. Who knows? Maybe I CAN go to one of the Toronto blogger events? Maybe I CAN go to a Blogher conference after all? Maybe I CAN meet other bloggers in real life? Maybe it’s NOT scary! (Granted, these were TWO bloggers…. not TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND MILLION….)

Highlight of the trip?: Monkey in the airplane. We’re all waiting to get out of the airplane. It’s late. Everyone’s quiet. All of a sudden, monkey’s little voice blurts out loud and clear:

“MAMA, I MADE A STINKY THART!”

Mmm hmm. That’s ma girl. Of course, everyone on the plane was laughing. And, one day she’ll get her “f”’s right….

…but, I’m in no rush….

The other day I told you I was going OUT ON THE TOWN for a bit of a soul journey. At first, I was going to be REALLY adventurous and go alone. But, our babysitter came through for us, and Josh-O joined me….

…Which was a good thing. Because the ballet we went to actually kind of SUCKED, and I needed someone to commiserate with (and to tell me it wasn’t just me who thought this). It was a 3-part ballet. The first part was aiight — I’d seen this particular piece a dozen times before, though, and this was not up to par. The second part was actually quite lovely…, but some of the men in this piece wouldn’t make it past the So You Think You Can Dance auditions…. Now, the THIRD part, called “In the Upper Room”? DISASTER….

Of all people, I’m not one to criticize ANYTHING the National Ballet of Canada puts on. LOVE. And, I WILL emphasize that, although I LOATHED this performance, it was worth seeing. I mean, even a BAD BALLET can be GOOD ART, you know, Gorgeouses? And, I think that was the case with this piece. It was provocative in a way that made me squirm in my seat with impatience and irritation. Art should do that sometimes….

BUT, the dancing was REALLY off. So much so that a certain dancer I was watching the entire second half of the piece because I couldn’t BELIEVE how sloppy she was SMASHED into a male dancer, fell to the floor and RAN OUT — NEVER TO RETURN (not even for the bows…). Poor thing. You have to feel sorry for her. In my 30 years of going to the ballet, I have NEVER seen such a disaster on stage! EVER!

Anyway. It was GREAT to get out. And, it was even GREATER not to go to ANOTHER movie. No. We were stimulating our minds with mediocre ballet that made us think about what GOOD ART was.

Between that and the Museum, Cheaty has become one CULTURED mama! Cheaty has become one RECHARGED mama….

So, I’ve come to a realization. When motherhood seems thankless — think butt-wiping, shoelace-tying, cleaning-floor-on-all-fours after meals, and “BIG MAMA” — get out and do something with the kids that stimulates YOU. Treat yourself.

On Friday, I picked Monkey up from school and took her and her little brother to the ZOO! I figured it would be a great way to get LOADS of exercise OUTSIDE of the city with beautiful animals to bring me back to SOUL LEVEL…. Another soul journey WITH the kids….

Instead of walking the dull city streets for an hour, I spent four hours getting a mean workout WHILE enjoying THIS….

I mean, what a GIFT to myself AND my little monkeys….

I didn’t need ANY “thanks” at all. Looking at the two of them grinning ear-to-ear was more than any “thank you” could give me.

And, the animals. The good thing about the Metro Toronto Zoo is that the animals seem really well-treated, healthy, in good spirits. And, I’ve heard this is true. They also have quite a lot of space to roam in and are rarely confined alone. I was happy to be there and to support the animals by going, and by teaching my children to respect them, marvel at their different shapes and sizes and sounds….

Can you guess what the monkey’s FAVOURITE animal was??? I’ll give you a hint….

As an extra treat, I bought them each a stuffed animal from the zoo gift shop. Of course, they both chose the same thing….

To cap off the night — because, by the time we were done with the zoo, it was getting dark! — we picked up Josh-O from work and drove downtown to my favourite vegetarian restaurant, FRESH…. If you ever go there, Gorgeouses, ORDER THE SWEET POTATO FRIES WITH THE THAI PEANUT SAUCE OMIGOSHHHH!!!!

Mmmmm….

Monkey held my hand, smiling ear-to-ear, on the way back to the car…. I can easily say it was one of the best days of her life — and mine.

Love….
xo Haley-O