I can do this.

I just drank a mug of vegan hot cocoa out of my “Heaven-Knows-It’s-Surely-True-That-Mothers-Need-a-Time-Out-Too” mug. Watching a little TMZ. Which may come as a surprise to some of you because, of course, I only watch CLASSY TV shows, like The Bachelor (did you see this season’s premier OMG — even *I* was embarrassed, it was so embarrassing), and my latest favourite, The Real Housewives of, well, all of them — Atlanta, Orange County, New York (in no particular order). NENE!!!

I love NeNe — partly because she hates brilliantly on a certain someone (KIM) whom I can’t stand because she smokes in her house, in her children’s faces.

I can TOTALLY understand if people can’t quit smoking — it took me YEARS to quit chai lattes (I’m still not out of the woods, but let’s pretend). But, I CAN’T understand knowingly exposing your young children to secondhand smoke. Seriously, WTF!? Who DOES that? Does anyone DO that? Anyway, don’t get me started on KIM. Where were we? Oh yes, LOVE NENE. But doesn’t EVERYONE?

I actually liked Anderson Cooper better when he was the host of The Mole — partly because I only watch classy TV, and not CNN. I prefer TMZ….

Where was I? Oh yes. I can do this.

I can write a blog post tonight, and I can get a good few hours of work done (egad) EVEN though I’m exhausted. Yes, exhausted. But, not whiny “WOE IS ME, MY KIDS DON’T SLEEP” exhausted. More like “DAY 15 OF JILLIAN MICHAELS’ HELL VIDEO,” as I like to call it. Level 2, baby. My feet are starting to hurt….

No, seriously, my feet are really hurting. Well, foot. It’s throbbing as we speak, Gorgeouses. I’m sure a good night’s sleep will help (but, ALAS, my kids still aren’t sleeping — WOE! is me). Yoga helps.

Oh GOD. I’m watching GLEE now, and Matthew Morrison is singing Bust A Move. OH! He’s dancing! And now he’s singing the THONG SONG — MOVE OVAH, Justin Timberlake. I’m telling you! And I am telling you!

In conclusion, I am in love with

Matthew Morrison….

and

Harvey Levin….

“I’m a lawyer!”

By the way, I’m also exhausted because the Monkey has a new imaginary friend, “Julia,” and Julia’s sleeping over tonight. Also, the Rascal’s been saying “f*ck” all the time, over and over again. Also, according to the Rascal’s nursery school “Feeling Table,” the words he likes to use are “hard” and “soft.” He needs to build on others, like “bumpy, scratchy, etc.”

LOVE! xo Haley-O

I’m a reality TV WHORE. I love it. I love the worst of them and the best of them — from A Double Shot at Love to Paris Hilton’s My New BFF to Big Brother (STARTS TONIGHT!), Survivor, American Idol, America’s (and now Canada’s) Next Top Model, (does The Hills count?), to perhaps the best of the bunch, So You Think You Can Dance. Of course, I have a little soft spot for So You Think You Can Dance, since my cousin MILES FABER finished in the top 4 of So You Think You Can Dance Canada just last year. But, seriously, it’s an AMAZING show. Anyone who’s ever had any interest in dancing, or who likes a good hip hop video, going to the ballet, Broadway (heyoooo!), ballroom, or even just MUSIC — THIS is the show for you. Just TRUST me.

(By the way? Let’s pretend last night’s Russian Folk Dance routine never happened…. I know they’re trying to represent DAWNCE in all it’s forms. But, seriously, there ARE limits. Omigod with the red cheeks on Phillip Chbeeb! Anyway.)

(OmiGAWW! — and no wonder they were in the bottom three tonight!)

Beyond that, though, this show showcases the best of the best in choreography. So, you’re not just watching any old dancing. You’re watching masterpieces by MIA MICHAELS, TICE DIORIO, NAPPYTABS! And did I mention MIA MICHAELS?

This woman gets me every time. (I may even have a wee GIRL CRUSH on her!) Sometimes, she’s a little over the top — which is also why I love her (I can relate to being a little over the top). But, for the most part, she hits the mark every time and makes you fah-reaking THINK. Last night was simply BEYOND, though. Mia’s exploration of Addiction with dancers Kayla and Kupono was nothing less than BRILLERS. BRILLIANT. I think I must have watched this dance thirty times….

The quality of this vid, the timing, is not stellar. But, you get the picture. How many times did you watch it? And how ADORABLE is Kupono? And how magnificent is Kayla? And how amazing is Mia? Do me a favour and watch it at least twice — keep your eyes on Kayla the first time, and Kupono the second. And then maybe go back and watch it a third time. It’s BRIL-LIANT! As Tice Diorio (LOVE) put it perfectly, “I don’t feel like I watched a dance. I feel like I had an experience. And that’s — entertainment.”

I not only get chills when I watch this routine, but I cry. Because it HITS ME hard. I’ve been an addict my whole life — not only to substances (*COUGH* StarbucksGrandeSoyNoWaterTazoChai *COUGH*, among others, *COUGH*), but to behaviours, to work…. I KNOW and understand very well what Kayla, and MIA with her awesome vision, so perfectly and passionately portrayed. I loved it. This is way beyond reality TV. This is FINE ART.

Watch it, yo! And thank me later!

Love!

xo Haley-O

I don’t have much in me to write today because “Anon” is in the hospital. Anon prefers not to be mentioned on the blog or on Twitter — hence “Anon.” But, I love Anon. I’m anxious for Anon. I’ll be visiting Anon in the hospital when possible this week, so blogging will be scarce….

In the meantime, I want to tell you about my purchases this weekend.

And then I’ll usher you all over to Canada Moms Blog where I ponder the possibility of something like an “Existential Motherhood.” Oy. I don’t know why I always get so intense and stiff over there. Oh, well, I guess I kind of do know. It’s not my home quite yet. It’s too new. I need to, as my brillers yoga teacher so perfectly says about yoga practice, orientate myself in the room before I can really let go. Am I making sense? Tired. Very tired.

Anyway, last week, I started thinking about balance, and how I could really use some. New Job is exciting and fast-paced and busy (LOVE!), and then there’s my freelance writing job (which is going so sloooowwwly), Kids Deserve art, and my yoga teaching, and the blogs, and, oh yeah, THE KIDS…, and Anon….

I’ve been finding myself a little anxious and overwhelmed and sucked in lately. I go to sleep and my mind is RACING. So, on Saturday, I decided to take a trip up to the Pickering Village (Josh had to go to Pickering to visit a friend; I tagged along) and check out a New Age shop. I wanted something to ground me and help me make smoother, more relaxed transitions from job to job to person to person…….

By the way? I’m watching The Hills right now, and I have to say: “Let’s totally go to Hawaii. Like, why not? Let’s just hop on a plane and go to Hawaii!” I LOVE how they say that like it’s NO BIG DEAL. EVEN when I was that age, it was never NO BIG DEAL for me to go to Hawaii. Just saying. The Hills is just so realistic sometimes it blows me away. But I digress.

…And how many girls on The Hills has Brody Jenner slept with???

ANYWAY….

It’s no surprise, really, since he’s (to borrow his own words) “for one hundred per cent fact” HOTT….

AS I WAS SAYING….

I was so pleasantly surprised when Rascal and I got to the little plaza on Old Kingston Street. (Monkey stayed with her daddy — daddy’s girl that she is.) It was BEAUTIFUL, quaint and so quiet. Rascal and I were, like, the ONLY people in the courtyard. This courtyard….

Photo, with thanks, c/o Mandy No Good.

Imagine me and a teeny blond toddler (10th percentile, Baby!) walking ALONE in this courtyard. I was totally transported into another time and place. Bliss!

On the other side of the courtyard, was this AMAZING new age bookstore….

See it? With the blue sign? It’s called Odyssey Books and Resource Centre. (And, NO, this is not a paid advertisement. With all the talk about carpetbagging mombloggers, everyone’s paranoid! Even those of us who WOULD NEVER! — paranoid.)

AS I WAS SAYING, this store was full of spiritual goodies from candles to stones, fairies, FAIRIES, angels, jewelery, books, traditional native crafts, and everything else you can imagine…. Check how FAB….

Stuff, stuff, STUFF! I love it! Okay, I realize most of you get more excited about cosmetic stores, or Target, or Prada or Gucci or Lululemon, etc., etc.. For me? I LOVE a good New Age bookstore. Can you SMELL the incense? Ahhhh. So relaxing. ACHOO! I just love to look at all the creative baubles and yoga books and stones and candles and nicknacks — and to just BELIEVE a little in my busy busy life that there is, indeed, SOMETHING MORE to life…. It’s all about the experience.

So, since this post getting long and I have an hour left of work to do tonight, here’s what I bought.

For ME….

I got the chakra necklace (not the bracelet), WHICH I’m wearing all the time now. I’ll have to take a picture of it ON ME; it’s a lot subtler than it looks…. I think it’s très GORJ and IT GROUNDS ME. Even if it doesn’t really work — it MIGHT work, and that alone makes it worth it.

I also got this Bach elm flower remedy (NOT A PAID AD)….

The woman behind the counter said I should put two drops of it on my tongue when I get anxious or overwhelmed as I move from one task to another.

For Anon, I bought a blue sodalite stone that has “Health” engraved on it…. And I bought the Monkey a clear quartz crystal with a sea turtle engraved in it — she loves a good sea turtle. This stone is, like, her FAVOURITE thing EVER now….

I didn’t buy Rascal anything because the experience itself was priceless for him — besides, he really only likes his sister’s stuff…. He had the best time playing with the stones, crystals, chimes, books. I’d give him one stone, and he’d be like “neh. neh. neh,” then I’d try another and, “neh. neh,” and finally another, which he’d take eagerly and hold for dear life in his sweaty little hands until he was done with it…..

We had a great time. A mini-vacation in my hectic, busy life. That, and the sweet little gifties I bought for myself and others, were exactly what I needed to get some sense of balance….

And, now, because you know you want EVEN MO MO MO, check my latest (sort-of related) post at Canada Moms Blog: EXISTENTIAL MOTHERHOOD?. I know, intense again, stiff…. Hope you like it anyway!