Nothing like a little art on a Sunday morning to ignite a waning spirit. And, WOW, did Canada REPRESENT today at the annual Toronto Outdoor Art Exhibition (TOAE) at Nathan Phillips Square.

Josh and I took the kids downtown at, ohhh, 10am or so to fit in the entire show before I had to meet it’sgrandma at the mall to buy clothes for BLOGHER (more on that part later). It definitely wasn’t enough time to peruse ALL the finest of Canada’s (and some US) artists. But, I got enough of a taste to get me excited!

One of the things I use my internet “fame” for is to bring Canadian (and “mom”) artists to the PEOPLE. I don’t know why, but it’s a passion of mine. I love animals, and I love artists. So, I “give back” by helping to heal the earth and by supporting peeps who make it extra beautiful. I mean, Earth itself — I always think — is a work of art. So, I guess my two causes aren’t as different as they’d seem….

Check this piece by the brillers Michelle SaintOnge who, in case she looks familiar, is the one who taught Martha Stewart and audience to silkscreen their won bags! Ahh, the eye-catching beauty of the pink ELEPHANT in the room….

OMG love…. I HAVE to have this….

And ZEBRA….

MY EYES. This is too much for them. Oof! Stunning….

Another one of my favourite artists hails from NYC, and AMAZINGLY managed to secure a spot in this very elite art show — so elite that the “reject show” was supposedly INCREDIBLE (I didn’t get to go, but I heard this from friends). Her name’s Tracey Silva Barbosa. She’s a mom of a sweet three-year-old. And I want this painting in my bedroom because it’s dreamy and whimsical and quite simply utter perfection….

I can’t even handle the beauty that is this painting. Particularly the juxtaposition of hummingbirds and bonsai trees, and the numbers and gold ribbons. I love a good mixed media…. One day, I’ll buy THIS ONE….

I can’t HANDLE the gorgeousness….I am SO looking Tracey and her hubs up next time I’m in NYC. They are AMAZING. We had an awesome chat — about Rascal’s stinky diapey, among other things….

THIS GUY was also awesome….

His art is ridiculously realistic. I mean — LOOK AT THAT. And this….

My blackberry (which will soon be a PURPLEBERRY, if I have my way…, or maybe pink camo) camera does NOT do this beautiful art justice, so check Olaf Schneider’s website…. You WILL enjoy. I ASSURE…. I especially liked Olaf because, even though he was steeped in a phone call several feet away from the booth, he managed to nod and wave to me about three times while I was checking out his booth. I really appreciated that he gave me — a short, busty (BWAH!) poorly dressed mom — the time of day. Really. And he’s a SUPER HUGE Canadian artist (just look at his bio page, like OMG).

Of course, since I’m in the biz…, I had to check out the CHILDREN’S STUFF! Among various children’s art booths, I LOVED Mara Minuzzo‘s art — she obviously didn’t realize her graphics aren’t stealable (even via a MAC) on her website, so do yourself a favour and just check ‘em at her website. I love the horses, the black-and-white bed, and the little girl running in the water most! Mara’s not a children’s artist per se, but the deer and chipmunks and the little girl in the water? — would all look FAB in my monkeys’ rooms….

Finally (yes, finally…), I was SO EXCITED to meet Ms. Adrienne Gibb of Fabricawakuwaku, and I’m secretly hoping she’ll join my crew at Kids Deserve Art one day (like maybe when I actually get a professional to design the site…). Her handmade stuffed animals — made with recycled and vintage fabrics (AWE-SOME) — are seriously DA BOMB….

Of course, we splurged and bought Monkey and Rascal each a Fabricawakuwaku “Patch Rabbit.” Monkey chose the purple-and-pink one and Rascal the beige….

…Then she decided she wanted his. So, now he has the purple bunny and she the beige bunny. Evs.

I love that my kids have works of art for toys. Delish!

So, yeah, 1pm arrived SUPER FAST after all the artistic excitement. And, off I went to Yorkdale. I probably should have gone downtown for this new WARDROBE, but the big mall was convenient, and, besides, I don’t exactly want to STAND OUT at the BlogHer Conference (in, like, a week and a half, in Chicago). I kind of want to blend. I, at least, want to be myself. Which means…, you got it…, LULULEMONS. If none of you absolutely object, I WILL be sporting LULULEMONS at blogher. Probably with one of my signature funky tees and black running shoes. And, baby, it’s a BITCH to find black running shoes that aren’t leather. SO, I will be heading downtown some time this week to check what I’ve heard is one of the world’s best vegan shoe stores — right here in TO.

…Seriously, we looked at every shoe store in the mall. The salespeeps in one store even INSISTED that a pair of black canvas wedges would look HAWT with my Lulus. But, ermm…, NO. All the other canvas shoes in the mall were TOO FLAT, or too RIDICK….

I need the height — believe me — but I don’t need it THAT bad. I’m no TOM CRUISE.

I can’t BELIEVE how long this post is. I feel like I’ve been writing it for 20 years. SO, in case you haven’t had enough of my writing today, go check my ANOTHER post of mine over at Canada Moms Blog — “I’m not Pregnant. Just FAT.”

But, feel free to leave a comment here. I notice comments are lacking on ALL my fave bloggers’ blogs, and WE LOVES THE COMMENTS! Especially when we write long-arse posts…. We are a sensitive, needy people.

Love!

xo Haley-O

See this?

It’s the Rascal…. Standing at the sidelines of the zoo waterpark while his sister goes MAD running here-there-everywhere….

I swear, I’ve never seen her MOVE that fast!

Back to Rascal…. It’s great that he’s in the 10th percentile for height (i.e., 90% of 2-year-olds are taller than Rascal) because I don’t have to worry SO much about sunscreen. At least on those fair little legs. Ahem. Those are SHORTS. He’s such a stud….

I’m obviously not a huge fan of the ZOO. The whole concept disturbs me to NO end. When I go there, I can’t help but see myself in the animals’ place living their lives with crowds of grubby popsicle- and pizza-guzzling humans whining things like “The gorilla’s aren’t doing anything! They’re just sitting there!” WAH.” “WAH.” “WAH.” Gorilla’s are too damn intelligent to be in captivity. Dammit. Yes, it disturbs me. And, still, I paid for a year’s pass. Hypocrite? I think not. The zoo’s going to be there whether I pay for it or not. But, if I DON’T pay, who suffers? THE ANIMALS. (And, thank goodness, the Toronto Zoo is famously good to its animals.) So, I pay, and I GO. Why do I go? Because I teach my children to enjoy the animals, to learn about them, respectfully, with the knowledge that these animals are sacrificing a lot so that the peeps can gawk at them.

I didn’t even have to teach my children much, though, it seems. Because a certain little MONKEY made me beyond proud as early on during our visit as the Jaguar exhibit.

“THANK YOU, JAGUAR!” My little Monkey yelled. Again, and again, she yelled, “THANK YOU, JAGUAR!”

“Why are you thanking the Jaguar, Monkey?” I asked.

“Because he’s letting us look at him.”

Fahklempt! She is, indeed, her mother’s daughter. Born with a DEEP respect and EMPATHY for animals.

And…, SPEAKING OF BIRTH (and Segues of the Year AWARDS….), guess why I haven’t blogged in a couple of days…? Or, have you seen my tweets? Like, the tweets in which I gave pretty much the PLAY by PLAY of my sister GIVING BIRTH?

Yes, Cheaty’s got a new NEPHEW! Woo-Hooo!

That’s two boys for my sister. Two beautiful, healthy boys for my sister. Thank God.

And I was there when it all went down! I’ve never actually HEARD anyone giving birth before. And I got to stand just outside the room for this one. I HEARD EVERY PEEP and GRUNT and TEAR and SQUEAL and CLANG and WAHHHHH! Ahh, the newborn WAHHHH….

We are celebrating!

WHICH brings me ALL the way back to the beginning of this post. (And I. Am. The Segue QUEEN today.) See that? That picture of the DARLING little Rascal in oversized shorts? Well, he’s no longer the youngest in our brood. Strange. My little guy’s getting BIG.

But, the Monkey? She’s still the only girl. It’sgrandma’s special little girl.

Love!

xo Haley-O

First of all, I have SO MUCH NEWS. And since I know you all want to hear about the finger-in-nose incident, I’ll be like The News and save the story with the most buzz for the end. So, you all have to read all this WORD FOR WORD first, okay?

FIRST FIRST. I have to mention a very important person: Cathy. The very first Kids Deserve Art artist. Look what she worked SO HARD on — to get out in ONE day so a little girl would have it on her birthday….

(As the wise old woman who taught me to teach yoga used to say in thick French accent…) CLOSER-CLOSER….

The little girl’s name is MADISON. How CEWWWT is that? Way to go, Cathy!

My little company Kids Deserve Art has been BU-SY lately. And we’re proud to say we’re having a great presence at two major Toronto children’s charities this month: earlier this month, we rocked the Silent Auction at Sunday in the Park with Lilah and, later this month, we’ll be rocking the Silent Auction at Bike for Tykes. I’m obviously really proud to be involved in these charities. Look for us at Bike for Tykes at the end of the month!

NEXT ITEM! My day (and night) job, bTrendie is sponsoring the MamaPop BlogHer party…. Check…IT:

See us? In the banner! Isn’t it pretty? SPARKLES! I have yet to put it on my sidebar. But, isn’t it GORJ? We’re also sponsoring the PEOPLE’S PARTY, and we have HOT-ARSE (that’s a hint) surprises in store for the Room 704 party. Yes, the company for which I am DIRECTOR, MEMBERSHIP & COMMUNITY is officially TAKING OVER BLOGHER.

And, whatchoo tellin’ me? You haven’t joined yet? DUDE? Support CHEATY! Heh. If you want to join, go to bTrendie and use ma code: CHEATY to get in. Love! …and thanks.

Okay, enough shameless self-pimpin’. Time to pimp some other peeps. So, last Thursday, I took my mom “it’sgrandma” out for her birthday….

First, I took her to Kristen Ma‘s LAUNCH party for her NEW BOOK, Beauty 2.0: A Holistic Guide to Natural Beauty for the Modern Age:

And my mom was so proud when I was chatting with the author herself and taking many photographs with her to get one half-decent good photo (I is un-photogenic!)….

Look at it’sgrandma in the background there. SO PROUD of me. Heh. My hair, by the way, definitely did NOT look that unbrushed. Although, come to think of it, I did go to the launch straight from a full day at the office; so maybe it was that disheveled. And, will you look at Kristen’s SKIN? Wanna get that skin? (BIG PIMPIN’: ) I’M GIVING AWAY THREE AUTOGRAPHED Beauty 2.0 books — filled with all Kristen’s GOLDEN secrets — to give away over at GOODIES later this week…. If you can’t wait for our contest, you can buy one at Amazon….

Kristen is the co-owner of Pure and Simple, aka my second home and the ONLY skincare and cosmetics lines I TOUCH. With a 10-foot pole. Isn’t she gorj….

So, the launch was held at Pure and Simple. It was FABULOUS. There were gorj ayurvedic platters set out (in keeping with her book), CUPPING sessions, makeup artists, and an ayurvedic doctor….

…the very Ayurvedic Doctor who stuck his fingers up my nose. Dr. S. R. Sharma. I met him at the launch. Yes, he took my pulse and told me….

“YOU ARE DOMINATED BY KAPHA!”

So, of course, I made an appointment immediately. I mean, no wonder I’m STILL not at the weight I’d like to be since Rascal was born. No wonder I’m often sluggish and tired. No wonder! I’m DOMINATED by Kapha! (And, so you know, us yogis take our ayurveda very seriously….)

Sooo…, the next day, I went to see Dr. Sharma. He treats all the celebs, apparently, so I knew I was in good hands…. Check him (fully posing for the pic, by the way — I asked him to) studying my info:

LOVE! After I told him my life story (kind of like how this post is turning into a LIFE STORY – EGAD – I’m. still. writing.), and then some, he determined that I am DOMINATED BY KAPHA and have a slight VATA imbalance. So, he got me to lie on this bed….

…and he did all this cool energy work on me.

…including….

STICKING HIS FINGERS UP MY NOSE!

Of course, I wasn’t prepared for it. But, I’m a yogi. So, I maintained my SAVASANA pose. And, I ACTUALLY DID NOT REACT! I just lay there — still with a straight, relaxed face! I surprise myself! Also, I was too busy marveling at the strange, like, camphor smell and the COLD sensation inside my nose…. For the rest of the session, I was thinking about my COLD nose.

AFTER the session, I asked Dr. Sharma about my nose. What is that smell? Why is it cold? What did you put in there? He said “NOTHING”! Apparently, he put NOTHING in my nose. He simply moved the energy around to create the sensation. And, then, when I thought of it? I realized the smell was the that dang CRACK I’m addicted to — STARBUCKS CHAI TEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I think that’s enough exclamation marks.)

He told me to look at his fingers, smell them. NOTHING. There was NO balm on them. NO trace of chai balm on them, Gorgeouses!

When I got home, my nose was still cold on the inside, especially when I wiggled it. So, I asked Josh to smell my nostrils. Were there any fumes emanating from them? NO. None.

So, anyway, to make a long story short(er)…. I have to go back to the centre for 5 days in a row for a FULL-ON cleanse. Wish me luck. Sharma better not stick his fingers anywhere else without warning. Eek! You never know! He wouldn’t! Right…!?

Okay, so, I’ll keep you posted on how that goes. Time for bed. And someone’s calling my name….

“MAMAHHHH!”

He’s teething. Looks like it’s going to be ANOTHER night of no sleep.

Stay tuned for the big BEAUTY BOOK contest. Coming later this week. Maybe even tomorrow, if I’m not too Kaphic….

Love!

xo Haley-O

I am sick as a dog. If you’re following me on Twitter, this is old news. I’ve been sick as a dawg for, like, 4 days already. This CAN’T be The Swine. It’s just a BAD (i.e., B.A.D.) head cold, complete with fevers and pains everywhere — worst of all in my jaw, making it excruciating for me to hold my mouth open just to BREATHE.

I probably SHOULDN’T have gone to the Bunch Family Dance Party on Saturday — to celebrate the launch of Canada Moms Blog. By the way, have you seen my latest post there yet — where I get very close to controversy again, but tread MUCH more carefully this time, so help me GOD. We all know I don’t DO criticism, so why DARE I invite it?? MIND YOU, I was just listening to THE Erica Ehm on my favourite radio station this morning, and SHE said that if everyone loves you, you’re boring. That made me feel better…. And, by the way, and speaking of which…, did you hear the Canadian Olympic team REFUSED to wear seal fur on their uniforms (after Canadian parliamentarians proposed it) to protest the European Parliament’s ban on Canadian seal-fur products? HOLLAHHH! And, here’s a cute video with typical great Canadian humour LAUGHING at the proposition that the team wear fur and demonstrating that most of us Canadians (over 60%), in fact, do oppose the hunt…. I care. I really really really freakin’ care about this….

And, by the way, how do I get my little Rascal to stop HITTING everyone. Feeling as carpy as I do right now, the LAST thing I need is all this HITTING me in the achy head with a metal toy school bus. ARRGH.

AND, by the way, I now have 2 cats on my lap…. Here’s Meeno (aka Minden, of course)….

MWAH!

ANYWAY! Happy Mother’s Day to all the MOMS out there — including moms of pets (this is your day, too, Gorgeouses!). I spent the day in bed, freezing and then sweating and then freezing and then sweating. It was awesome.

This post is all over the place. I’m too sick to write coherently. Hopefully, I’ll be better tomorrow. So, we’re just chatting today, right? This is aiight, right?

So, as I started saying earlier…. It’s kind of exciting! I actually went to a blogger event this weekend to celebrate the Canada Moms Blog official launch! Now, I SHOULDN’T have been there with this DREADFUL cold. But, I KNEW if I didn’t show up, everyone would think I copped out — because who can REALLY tell if your sick from behind your computer screen. I NEVER go to blog events (because I sort-of made this deal with myself early on that I’d stay behind the screen), so I KNEW that if I didn’t go, they’d all think I wimped out and wasn’t committed. But, AM COMMITTED. LOOK HOW COMMITTED. I went to the event SHVITZING with fever!

Again, don’t worry, it’s not The Swine…. (Although I cannot IMAGINE being any sicker than this…!)

So, the party was well worth going to — even sick as a DAWG. (Bunch sure knows how to throw a PAR-TAY!) I hung out with some of my favourite bloggers! SWEET Katie ~ Motherbumper, the one-and-only Her Bad Mother Catherine Connors, Sandra from Mamalooper, Emma Willer from (I love this…) Where there’s a Willer…, and, last but NOT LEAST, my good ol’ friend Ali, of Cheaper Than Therapy whom I haven’t seen in MONTHS (because I am a BAD FRIEND, BAD!).

I really didn’t get enough pictures. Mostly because Rascal was clinging to me FOR DEAR LIFE for the first hour and a half of the party. After that, he warmed up and started running to the middle of the dance floor and, erm, dancing!! It was so adorable. I was so proud….

I also didn’t get enough pictures because it was just too much work for my sick self to keep digging my camera out of my bottomless purse…. It was also too much work for my sick self to say NO to Monkey getting a cotton candy — which, I (and my strong opinions!) think has to be the grossest excuse for candy ever invented….

You know you’re sick when…you let your daughter eat COTTON CANDY. Ew. I managed to steer the Rascal away from it with COOKIE….

Best of all, I think, has to be the picture Monkey drew at the party. I HAVE to share it….

Yeah, Happy Mother’s Day to ME. I’m the big POTATO in the middle of the picture. Rascal is the hilarious sad thing on the left (seriously? how funny is that?), and Josh is on the right…. Just when I was feeling SLIMMER (after a 5-pound weight loss, courtesy of being SICK AS DAWG), Monkey draws me LIKE THAT? A big fat potato. Oh man….

Okay. BACK TO BED.

Happy Mother’s Day, Gorgeouses!

Love!

xo Haley-O

If you haven’t already, go check CHEATY GOODIES for our EMERGENCY PREPAREDNESS contest. Only Canadians are eligible for this one, but (again) the post and video will make everyone think.

I am going to write more about yesterday’s post because, between the comments and the emails people felt were too personal to post here, many of you want to talk about it…. And I’m happy, honoured, to oblige.

Truthfully, I didn’t mean to GO THERE last night. I was too tired to write anything really, and I’ve been feeling on the edge of blog burnout the whole week. But, that’s what came up while I was writing about NOTHING in point form. It was like, “hey wait a minute — why am I writing about my weight, AGAIN?” It just bubbled up like that. And there it was.

Anyway, I’m going to write more on the weekend. For now, I want to not dwell on weight or eating or anything related. (So, when I mention the ballet, let’s pretend none of the dancers are or look remotely anorexic.)

I just got back from the most incredible production of Romeo and Juliet tonight. If you live in Toronto and have the chance to go, please treat yourself. The show runs until March 22.

I cried BIG BULBOUS RASCAL TEARS in the tragic final scenes of this ballet. And, Gorgeouses, I didn’t even cry during BEACHES.

It was just SO GOOD. THAT GOOD. I cried because it was THAT GOOD. Because the original story, the dancing, the music, the costumes, the POETRY — all of it — was brilliant.

And here I have to give a special mention to the dancer who played Juliet — Sonia Rodriguez. I haven’t seen anyone do Juliet like that since Veronica Tennant….

Another special mention goes to this guy — who played Mercutio….

Yeah, that’s Piotr Stanczyk. I’ve seen him in several ballets now, and my eyes are always drawn to him. He is FABULOUS and CHARISMATIC and lovely to watch. Indeed, Stanczyk, Rodriguez and Zdenek Konvalina (who played Romeo, and also deserves special mention) are reasons why Karen Kain’s new-and- improved National Ballet of Canada is better than ever.

I know this post is probably boring for most of you. I mean, who goes to the ballet?* But, I was profoundly moved by this particular ballet, and that’s worth expressing here. I was so moved that I just had to thank with this small blog tribute the ballet company that works SO HARD to move us.

*I wish more people would go to the ballet…. Support your city’s arts! Love!

Photos of Romeo and Juliet, with thanks, c/o The National Ballet of Canada official website.

He was up last night. 1am. 3am. 5am. We did the let-him-cry thing. Because we’ll try anything at this point. But, then Monkey woke up. And, I couldn’t take it. So, yes, as Josh-O puts it, I’m “letting my son walk all over me.” From 5am to 7am I lay stiff as a board in the precise position Rascal requires to fall asleep. I waited ’till he started snoring — ARM WAS NUMB — before I switched to a comfortable position. And, of course, he woke up, grabbed my arm, and lay back down on it, in the position. In the position. My shoulder, neck, and upper back ache. I is tired. I is very, very tired.

But, as promised yesterday, I have Family Day adventure to tell….AND HAIRCUTS. SWEET haircuts. Monkey…GOT A BOB!!!

Right, we still have our Hanukkah decorations up. Hmm…, maybe there IS a little redneck in me?

I can’t stop mushing her cheeks now and telling her how ADORABLE HER NEW HAIR IS! Josh-O insisted “NO BOB,” but I whispered “DO IT” to the hairstylist, et VOILA!

And, then there’s her brother, too…. I can’t take it. BUZZ CUT!!!

Two words: OY OY!

Now, before I collapse right here on the keyboard, check where we went on Family Day….

THE TORONTO BEACHES!

Bet you non-Canadian Gorgeouses didn’t know Toronto had a beach, had sand, had water, had lakeside boardwalk….

Isn’t it GORJ…?

And cute beach-y houses….

And CUTE beach-y stores….

And new beach-y shades….

And, by the way, you know what that means? It means she’s no longer just “CAPTAIN TO THE RESCUE.” No, she’s “CAPTAIN MOVIE STAR TO THE RESCUE.” And, she wore them ALL MORNING today at school, of course, and throughout dinner….

In typical Rascal fashion, Rascal cried most of the day. But, the buzz-cut cuteness factor (and the walking cuteness factor) made up for it….

In all fairness to him, though, it was cold. Dang cold. As soon as we got back in the warm car, he cheered up (after, that is, we forced his wailing writhing self into his car seat), and he sang and yelled “TICKA TICKA TICKA.” Ticka — it was his first word. First Rascalism. It means “tickle.” TICKA TICKA TICKA!!!

It was a great Family Day. Something different. Beautiful. I just love being a tourist in my own city…. ‘Cept now I totally want to live there.

Love!

xo Haley-O

Gorgeouses! There’s so much happening at CHEATY MONKEY! So, check it! Head on over to Cheaty Recommends to read about our time at the Disney on Ice: Disneyland Adventure show. Gorgeouses, it was awesome. You have to go if it comes to your city (it’s in Toronto until December 28th).

Then, check Cheaty Goodies for another terrible “VLOG” of me doing the big contest draw. I can’t seem to get into these videos. They are NOT my favourite thing to do. I kind of dread doing them, actually. But, I like the idea. I’ll try to be a little peppier for you next time!

I do have some catching up to do at Cheaty Kitchen. I’d like to post some vegan recipes SANS tofu — for all you tofu haters out there…. And, there’s this new organic store I’d like to tell you about…., and a box of bananas…. But, I’m DUNZO for tonight. It’s so late right now (post Hanukkah party)!

In the meantime, check how SNOWY it is in our fair Toronto!

(Don’t worry, I pulled over to take the picture!) It’s CRAZY! I actually SHOVELED — it was the only way I could get the car out of the garage!

I have Hanukkah photos to share, too! But, my GARSH, it’s late. So, that’ll wait ’till tomorrow.

One more thing before I SLEEP, though. Monkey and I have the same favourite song now! CHECK IT (and get up and DANCE with us!):

Go Pussycat Dolls! That’s some quality dance music right there. I know. Because I was a MAYJAH dancer until I was about 25, and I want to MOVE to this! Monkey loves the “I hate this part right here” part of the song. Constantly sings it now!

LOVE!
xo Haley-O

I know. We’re Jewish. But that doesn’t mean we can’t share in the Christmas spirit! In fact, the monkey is BEGGING me for a Christmas tree, and, I’m telling you, I’m almost tempted…. Can you imagine? No. The monkey needs to learn to love Hanukkah. So, instead of caving and running out to buy a Christmas tree, I went crazy on the Hanukkah decorations. Haven’t put them up yet. But, when I do, I’ll share pictures, fashizzle.

I’m telling you, though. Try telling your 3-year-old daughter she doesn’t get a Christmas tree! It’s SO HARD. Christmas is, like, a little girl’s DREAM. The SPARKLES! The MAGIC! The lovable old man with the HO HO HO! The RUDOLF! The FROSTY! The MOVIES! The NUTCRACKER….

She was probably the youngest little girl Saturday night at the Nutcracker Ballet. And, she looked like a LITTLE DOLL….

Josh-O bought her this outfit and it was RIDICULOUSLY adorable.

It’sgrandma and Papa’shere took us out for dinner and then to the show. Dinner was not without its glitches. The waiter was a piece of work. Long story short: she withheld our meals because we accidentally spilled water on her “good-quality leather shoes.” Can you believe? We had a 3-YEAR-OLD with us! Can you imagine making a 3-year-old wait FORTY MINUTES for her meal because your shoes got wet? And, can you imagine leaving your customer (it’sgrandma) STANDING in the middle of the restaurant WAITING for you to return with paper towels AND YOU NEVER DO? Unbelievable. We DEFINITELY complained to management. Because I have NEVER! I was really upset about this. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, and this waiter let me down. She was definitively NOT a nice person (to put it mildly).

Sigh, anyway….

It’s funny how you think your little girl is SO BIG, and then you take her to the ballet, and she becomes such a wee little thing. She was so tiny! Like a little BABY!

She was my little baby again. And, she was so good. She sat through the entire Nutcracker ballet and loved it liked it very much. Sure, she had some loud voice issues…. Like when the Sugar Plum Fairy came out, and it was all quiet as she tippy-toed about to the famous Tchaikovsky melody: “SHE’S GOT JEWELS ON HER!” the monkey yelled, “I LOVE JEWELS!” Heh.

Unfortunately, Monkey had to go to the washroom in the middle of the second act, and it’sgrandma had to FIGHT with the ushers to get back in (can you imagine? not letting a 3-year-old and her it’sgrandma back in to THE NUTCRACKER?!? It’sgrandma will be writing a scathing letter to the management, which will most-definitely include a reminder that we are SEASON’S TICKET HOLDERS. Ahem). Luckily, they made it back in in time for the little lambs, whom monkey befriended during intermission….

Of course, It’sgrandma and Papa’shere HAD to get Monkey a souvenir from her VERY FIRST BALLET….

A nutcracker snow globe…. When she took it out of the box and shook it, of course, it slipped out of her little hands and smashed all over the marble floor beside the boutique. The guy behind the booth was so nice, though! And, he gave us a brand new one…. My faith in humanity RESTORED!

Even so…, there’s always MEENO….

* Photos of the Ballet, with thanks, c/o the National Ballet of Canada’s Nutcracker website. I wasn’t even allowed to take pictures before the show started. USHER FROM HELL even tried to make me delete the photos I took of papa’shere and the Monkey IN THEIR SEATS. OY! What was up with people last night!

Guess what, Gorgeouses? I was interviewed over at BlissChick! I hope I did okay. It was really challenging! But, I got a lot out of it — it really made me think! (UPDATE: I thought the interview was going up today, but it’s not ready yet. I’ll let you know when it’s up!)

CANADIAN GORGEOUSES: check GOODIES for your contest. Love to ALL!

The other day I told you I was going OUT ON THE TOWN for a bit of a soul journey. At first, I was going to be REALLY adventurous and go alone. But, our babysitter came through for us, and Josh-O joined me….

…Which was a good thing. Because the ballet we went to actually kind of SUCKED, and I needed someone to commiserate with (and to tell me it wasn’t just me who thought this). It was a 3-part ballet. The first part was aiight — I’d seen this particular piece a dozen times before, though, and this was not up to par. The second part was actually quite lovely…, but some of the men in this piece wouldn’t make it past the So You Think You Can Dance auditions…. Now, the THIRD part, called “In the Upper Room”? DISASTER….

Of all people, I’m not one to criticize ANYTHING the National Ballet of Canada puts on. LOVE. And, I WILL emphasize that, although I LOATHED this performance, it was worth seeing. I mean, even a BAD BALLET can be GOOD ART, you know, Gorgeouses? And, I think that was the case with this piece. It was provocative in a way that made me squirm in my seat with impatience and irritation. Art should do that sometimes….

BUT, the dancing was REALLY off. So much so that a certain dancer I was watching the entire second half of the piece because I couldn’t BELIEVE how sloppy she was SMASHED into a male dancer, fell to the floor and RAN OUT — NEVER TO RETURN (not even for the bows…). Poor thing. You have to feel sorry for her. In my 30 years of going to the ballet, I have NEVER seen such a disaster on stage! EVER!

Anyway. It was GREAT to get out. And, it was even GREATER not to go to ANOTHER movie. No. We were stimulating our minds with mediocre ballet that made us think about what GOOD ART was.

Between that and the Museum, Cheaty has become one CULTURED mama! Cheaty has become one RECHARGED mama….

So, I’ve come to a realization. When motherhood seems thankless — think butt-wiping, shoelace-tying, cleaning-floor-on-all-fours after meals, and “BIG MAMA” — get out and do something with the kids that stimulates YOU. Treat yourself.

On Friday, I picked Monkey up from school and took her and her little brother to the ZOO! I figured it would be a great way to get LOADS of exercise OUTSIDE of the city with beautiful animals to bring me back to SOUL LEVEL…. Another soul journey WITH the kids….

Instead of walking the dull city streets for an hour, I spent four hours getting a mean workout WHILE enjoying THIS….

I mean, what a GIFT to myself AND my little monkeys….

I didn’t need ANY “thanks” at all. Looking at the two of them grinning ear-to-ear was more than any “thank you” could give me.

And, the animals. The good thing about the Metro Toronto Zoo is that the animals seem really well-treated, healthy, in good spirits. And, I’ve heard this is true. They also have quite a lot of space to roam in and are rarely confined alone. I was happy to be there and to support the animals by going, and by teaching my children to respect them, marvel at their different shapes and sizes and sounds….

Can you guess what the monkey’s FAVOURITE animal was??? I’ll give you a hint….

As an extra treat, I bought them each a stuffed animal from the zoo gift shop. Of course, they both chose the same thing….

To cap off the night — because, by the time we were done with the zoo, it was getting dark! — we picked up Josh-O from work and drove downtown to my favourite vegetarian restaurant, FRESH…. If you ever go there, Gorgeouses, ORDER THE SWEET POTATO FRIES WITH THE THAI PEANUT SAUCE OMIGOSHHHH!!!!

Mmmmm….

Monkey held my hand, smiling ear-to-ear, on the way back to the car…. I can easily say it was one of the best days of her life — and mine.

Love….
xo Haley-O

We went to the ROYAL ONTARIO MUSEUM (ROM) today to see the world’s third largest cut diamond in the world. Yes, the kids and I (Josh had to be somewhere today, wah) journeyed out to the museum, and I was really proud of myself, I have to say. We could have stayed home — it was FREEZING outside today — or gone to the mall, or to the store to buy more of that makeup I ran out of. But, I decided instead to give ALL OF US an amazing experience.

Laaa…! Isn’t it beautiful?

The day was awesome. It released me from my rut. My cheaty little bundles of joy and I trekked all the way downtown. And, we had the best time. Together.

The diamond exhibit was really beautiful and interesting. I didn’t have enough time to thoroughly read all the information because, well — do I really have to spell it out? But I particularly enjoyed looking at the jewels from the middle ages and the Renaissance because I just love those time periods. I have yet to finish The Boleyn Inheritance…. I’ll pick it up again soon. Need to get back into the swing of reading again. I’ve been too drained lately. But, sometimes reading can really pick you up when your down, depressed and angry all the time! And, apparently, so can a trip to the museum. Nothing like a little culture!

One of the Monkey’s favourite areas of the diamond exhibit was the gift shop — where she got herself a gorj little necklace with an amethyst pendant just like the one her mama wears….

I love the amethyst because I find it very grounding. I wear one around my neck every day to keep myself centred and aware of the bigger picture of things. So, I was more than happy to give the monkey one of her very own!

Next, we went to the dinosaur exhibit….

The monkey was SO into it. We had an awesome time learning about dinosaurs together. Her favourite dinosaur was the “Gordo”….

I, personally, connected to the T-Rex, of course…. How original of me….

Did you know that the T-Rex apparently had FEATHERS? How wild is that? Gordo’s keeper told me dinosaurs evolved into birds of today — hence the feathers. T-Rex and chickens are distant relatives! I know, AWESOME.

As for the Rascal, poor little guy SLEPT through the dinosaur exhibit. He didn’t see a single dino. But, he did get a lot of attention. At least THIRTY people asked me if I realized Rascal lost a shoe. NO. NO, I DIDN’T KNOW THAT. AND, YES, YOU ARE THE FIRST PERSON TO TELL ME THIS….THE VERY FIRST.

He finally woke up when we were in Egypt. I love Ancient Egypt….

My camera battery died in Egypt, so I have a full-on mummy corpse in my pinkberry…. I don’t know why I was compelled to take the picture. It was CREEPY. I think I may just delete that picture right now….

Speaking of CREEEEEEPY (and excellent segues), check the little monkeys on Halloween!

Shrek and a mouse. They both wore their costumes THE WHOLE DAY. I loved it.

The Monkey LOVED Halloween and really got into it. Rascal, on the other day, was having just another day — IN a Shrek costume — but he managed to score a LOLLIPOP! He took off the wrapper HIMSELF and started sucking on it!

OY! SO CUTE. Smart little dude!

Yes, Josh-O is wearing a buffalo hat. I wore a kitty cat, of course….

Minden and I gave out candy while Josh-O took the kids went trick-or-treating. Never mind the kids, MINDEN had the time of his life! Sure, he was a little confused and, erm, bug-eyed….

But, he stayed by me the whole time. Look, LOVE EYES….

And, finally, that pumpkin Josh-O spent EONS on? Fabulous….

Hope you all had a great Halloween!

What did YOU do this weekend? Any adventures? I need ideas! Must be more adventurous in life!

xo Haley-O