What I learned from a day in Niagara Falls….

I learned not to take my kids into ANY of the wax museums because there will be FREDDY KRUEGER. A less terrified-of-Freddy blogger would insert a photo here.

I can’t deal.

I learned that the incredibly beautiful Falls give good mist. My skin was oh-so-dewy!

I learned that there IS a city in this world that doesn’t have a single vegan morsel to eat — I mean other than a soggy salad fit for gargoyles (they tried!).

I learned that Frankenstein and Dracula ARE ALIIIIIVE….

I learned that I’m “the coolest chick, yeah you are!” Check this video, Gorgeouses. I took it just for you. These two lovelies were sitting at separate tables, and, apparently, when we sat down to eat, my big hat was blocking his view of her. So I took my hat off, and their love was set free…. After he bought her a glass of wine, loudly, she whispered, “why don’t you come here?” He didn’t want to leave his buddy (who, you’ll see, can do a mean chair dance). So, she went over to him. I had to get them on video, just for you. Forgive my total geekiness. I was having fun….

So you see. I have proof. I. Am the coolest chick, yeah I am. Hee. They did let me put their video online. I always ask permission (because I’m coo like dat) — hence my URGENCY: “SAY IT FOR THE PEOPLE!” *Cough.* If they only knew….

I learned that when you least expect it, some people can be a total HOOT. Love.

You can just ponder that all with this lovely view of Niagara Falls, and more.

This vid’s a little less exciting (which says a lot), but more beautiful. Mind you, there is some uninteresting conversation showcasing my only slight (alas it’s true) tendency toward ditsiness, which the voyeur in you might like….

Love!
xo Haley-O

It’s a good thing I know how to deal with anxiety by now because, OMG, with all the transitions lately — new job, new nephew, new dog, Josh’s work-at-home new job — my mind is spinning. On top of all these transitions, I’ve imposed another major transition on myself: NO SUGAR for 40 days. This, of course, means no Starbucks Soy Chai Lattes. *SWOON.* We’re into day 3 now, and I’m feeling totally fuzzy-headed (which goes great with spinning). But, I hear day 3 is a charm. And, if I recall from the last time I did this cleanse, the sweet cinnamon-y cloud of fuzz will subside tomorrow, in time for a meeting I’m very excited about!

You’re probably thinking I’m insane to do a detox now, but it’s one of my best tools for dealing with anxiety. Plus, I just splurged on a VITAMIX! When my old blender died a tragic death, smoking up my entire kitchen with what smelled like burning rubber, I immediately called the healthy, happy people at Vitamix. I’ve been working around the clock lately, and my morning swamp smoothies have reached unpalatable heights with the seaweed, algae oil and turmeric (*cough*). And, if I’m not going to be waking up to the promise of a steamy, comforting, cinnamon-y sweet and spicy chaiiiii, I better have something not only super healthy, but just (or almost) as yummy to make up for it. Right!? Right.

Enough talk. And I’m too fuzzy and about-to-pass-out-from-exhaustion to edit this post. Seriously. Instead, I’ve prepared a couple of VLOGS for you. A series entitled “THERE’S TOO MUCH CUTENESS AROUND HERE!” Or not. Maybe we don’t need a title for the series. Maybe just checkit. Oh, and $10 Amazon gift certificate (I just bought a vitamix — this is the best I can do!) to the first person who guesses the punchline of Rascal’s joke…?

And Betty White. This dog was an ANGEL the first week we got her. Now, she’s a total nutball. And I’ve been stepping in warm puddles throughout the house! Training tips, anyone? Here I am attempting to take her out for a “pee.” Notice the under-bite!

I’m still debating whether or not I should post video of her humping her brother Minden. It’s beyond bizarre on so many, many levels.

Love!
xo Haley-O

Hi Gorgeouses! We’re having a great time in Florida! My parents are seriously amazing for bringing us here…. Thought I’d share a few vids – just a quick two. I had to split one video in two for unbloggably boring reasons. Bygones. Anyway, the weather’s been pretty good. Lots of sun today. A little rain here and there.

AND, without further ado, I give you my vids. You may want to take a Gravol before watching, though, because, as always in my vids, it’s gonna be a nauseatingly bumpy ride (I really must stop videoing and walking at the same time for you…)!

Video #1 – I don’t know WHAT is up with my voice in the beginning. I was trying too hard, I think. I was in no mood for vlogging, truth be told…. Or, maybe it was because, to reiterate what’s in the video, the yoga conference was FREE (that never happens).

Video #2 – WE CROSS THE STREET (told you this was exciting). Don’t worry, I was holding the video in front while I myself was looking fiercely to the right and left and all the way around, etc., etc. I was a MACHINE of road safety…. Listen for the Rascal’s pitter-pattering feet. DON’T listen to the Monkey throwing a fit “NOOO, I DON’T WANNA….”

More to come. Disney…. And, when I get back, remind me to tell you more exciting stories, like, about my spontaneous and inexplicable RASH — it was like an episode of Fringe, I tell you….

Love!
xo Haley-O

I have VLOGS for you today — from out here in Farm Country, Canada. This is part of the MOMCENTRAL “Flip for the Holidays” tour, and goes along with our FLIP CAMCORDER GIVEAWAY (and more video) over at Cheaty Goodies. I’m taking a week’s holiday from blogging (I think), so these should keep you entertained ’til I get back, I hope!

EDIT: THIS POST HAS BEEN MOVED (AT THE GENTLE REQUEST OF MY SPONSORS) TO MY “RECOMMENDS” SITE. IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN ‘EM, GO CHECK MY HOLIDAY VIDEOS NOW OVER HERE!

Happy Holidays!

Love!

xo Haley-O

I am completely paralyzed right now. Not answering the phone. Not answering emails. Not opening my mouth when spoken to. Not accepting cat cuddles (you know it’s bad when…).

I was THIS CLOSE — THIS CLOSE — to calling my boss from FOUR YEARS ago to ask for a job. THIS CLOSE. My day was THAT BAD.

Whine alert. Prepare for serious whinage. (And I’d dress that up with repeated LARGE CAPS and exclamation points as I usually do with everything, but this is not that kind of post. No, this is me FAREAKING OUT inside RIGHT NOW as Rascal breaks out into WAILS again. AGGGGAAAAIIIIINNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!! SLEEEEEP!

That felt good. Actually it didn’t. I was just too paralyzed to lift my fingers off the keys. And, part of me was kind of hoping emoting in words would feel good and help get me out of this funk, even as I sit here with a totally blank expressionless face. But, it didn’t make me feel good because I am, indeed, paralyzed on the inside, and on the outside because fat Tigger is perched on my lap. At least she’s warm.

{gratuitous picture of said fat cat would normally be posted here, but can’t because numb inside, and going increasingly numb outside — legs! Here’s a picture….}

In her case the camera actually subtracts 10 pounds. She’s a total raccoon.

Anyway, I’m on virtually no sleep for, like, the second day in a row because Rascal’s decided he enjoys wreaking havoc and making a misery of my life. Because this IS my life we’re talking about. And, it’s two against one. Two little monkeys decide my fate every day. It shouldn’t be like that, but it is. THEY have a bad day? I have a bad day. They have good day? In some cases, I STILL have a bad day.

Some of today’s mantras for you:

“MOMMY HAS THE RIGHT TO EXERCISE”;

“SO GO PEE”;

“YOU CAN DO IT YOURSELF”;

“NO, RASCAL”;

“RASCAL, PLEASE DON’T THROUGH YOUR FOOD ON THE FLOOR.”

And, how ’bout this one? It’s my favourite:

“F———CK!”

Only I didn’t say it out loud. Which is a good thing because I did say “Oh, SH-T” in front of the Monkey today, and she was — vocally — very excited about her new word. Sigh.

Stay-at-home parenting is mind-numbing. It’s frustrating. It’s depressing. It’s isolating. It’s HARD. No, it’s REALLY HARD. So, I go to Josh, at the dinner table this evening, “I can’t do it. I just can’t do it anymore. I’m going to look for a job.” And, then I look at Rascal, and his rosy red cheeks (red from pooping and, it seems, teething), and I don’t want to leave him. It’s just a bad day. A really bad day. And, I am allowed my share of those.

It would be awesome to go back to work. I’m losing weight just thinking about it. But, a few thoughts go through my mind when I consider it:

“If I can’t handle staying at home with my own kids, how can I hire someone else to do it?”;

“The thought of someone else taking care of my kids makes me cry (more than I’m crying right now)”;

“Rascal wants ME, deserves ME — who am I to take that away from him because I’m having a wee emotional breakdown right now, which (c’mon we all know) is probably completely HORMONAL?”

“I am a lousy nine-to-fiver. What makes me think going to work won’t make me way more depressed than I am now.”

Because, really, I am happy. I’m just hormonal and sleep-deprived and in total sugar and Starbucks withdrawals…. If he sleeps tonight, I’ll be fine. I’ll be fine I’ll be fine I’ll be fine.

I just love them. So much. That sometimes I hate myself. Because I’m not perfect. Because my best isn’t good enough. And, because I’m way overdue for some extended me-time.

I’m way overdue for some extended me-time.

I was THIS CLOSE to quitting this stay-at-home gig. But, just…. Just listen to this…. (Enjoy…!)

Even after a day like today, I could listen to that over and over (well…).

So, I’m sticking to it. I just have to make it better tomorrow. After all, red IS the colour of a Valentine. MWAH! (Did you hear the kiss in the vid? Oy…!)