I have VLOGS for you today — from out here in Farm Country, Canada. This is part of the MOMCENTRAL “Flip for the Holidays” tour, and goes along with our FLIP CAMCORDER GIVEAWAY (and more video) over at Cheaty Goodies. I’m taking a week’s holiday from blogging (I think), so these should keep you entertained ’til I get back, I hope!

EDIT: THIS POST HAS BEEN MOVED (AT THE GENTLE REQUEST OF MY SPONSORS) TO MY “RECOMMENDS” SITE. IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN ‘EM, GO CHECK MY HOLIDAY VIDEOS NOW OVER HERE!

Happy Holidays!

Love!

xo Haley-O

It started off well enough. Intentions were good. Lentil soup was simmering on the stove. Almonds, dates, agave, ginger and spices in the blender, and (my own invention) cut-off stocking standing by to strain the thing of any crunch whatsoever. Tweet was written….

Yes, it started off well enough. But, in the end? FAIL. Red hot fat X FAIL. Starting with one chocolate bar, and then another, and another. AND THE HOMEMADE PUMPKIN SEEDS. I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t stop. I COULDN’T STOP.

Among the chocolates — a little bit of this….

And a little bit of that….

A little bit of…this….

And a little bit of that….

And, in case you’re wondering, that dirty stuffed animal that Rascal the IRRESISTIBLE LION (“ROAR, Mama, ROAR!”) is holding? That’s Muhneh. I don’t think you’ve met Muhneh, have you? It’s definitely time you met Muhneh.

He’s the gift I brought home from BlogHer ‘09 for the Monkey. Found him in the airport in Chicago — and thought, “PERFECT! She’ll LOVE it.” Turns out she was “meh” about it. So, she graciously gave it up to her brother when he fell in LOVE with it one day. And the love affair has thrived to this very day. Why? Because, I presume, Muhneh looks JUST LIKE HIS MAMA’S “Muhneh” — MINDEN!

These days, Muhneh goes everywhere with us. Everywhere….

Rascal’s Muhneh was much fluffier when I first brought him home. Had whiskers and everything. But he’s been washed (and mistakenly put in the dryer) a few too many times (never enough — he stinks).

Despite the vast depths I fell off the wagon, it was a good Halloween.

And, despite the fact that I was tasked with job of carving the hardest pumpkin in the history of pumpkins WITH a nasty case of tendonitis IN the right index finger, I managed to carve a little somethin’-somethin’ not so shabby….

So, how was your Halloween? Was it spooky? Sugary? Chocolaty? Or, was it lentil-y (byatch)? What did you do with your candy? We got it out of the house today (a day too late). So, your regularly scheduled EPITOME-OF-HEALTH cheaty should be resuming shortly — after some minor, erm, technical difficulties yet to be resolved. Damn sugar. CRACK.

Love!

xo Haley-O

I am sick as a dog. If you’re following me on Twitter, this is old news. I’ve been sick as a dawg for, like, 4 days already. This CAN’T be The Swine. It’s just a BAD (i.e., B.A.D.) head cold, complete with fevers and pains everywhere — worst of all in my jaw, making it excruciating for me to hold my mouth open just to BREATHE.

I probably SHOULDN’T have gone to the Bunch Family Dance Party on Saturday — to celebrate the launch of Canada Moms Blog. By the way, have you seen my latest post there yet — where I get very close to controversy again, but tread MUCH more carefully this time, so help me GOD. We all know I don’t DO criticism, so why DARE I invite it?? MIND YOU, I was just listening to THE Erica Ehm on my favourite radio station this morning, and SHE said that if everyone loves you, you’re boring. That made me feel better…. And, by the way, and speaking of which…, did you hear the Canadian Olympic team REFUSED to wear seal fur on their uniforms (after Canadian parliamentarians proposed it) to protest the European Parliament’s ban on Canadian seal-fur products? HOLLAHHH! And, here’s a cute video with typical great Canadian humour LAUGHING at the proposition that the team wear fur and demonstrating that most of us Canadians (over 60%), in fact, do oppose the hunt…. I care. I really really really freakin’ care about this….

And, by the way, how do I get my little Rascal to stop HITTING everyone. Feeling as carpy as I do right now, the LAST thing I need is all this HITTING me in the achy head with a metal toy school bus. ARRGH.

AND, by the way, I now have 2 cats on my lap…. Here’s Meeno (aka Minden, of course)….

MWAH!

ANYWAY! Happy Mother’s Day to all the MOMS out there — including moms of pets (this is your day, too, Gorgeouses!). I spent the day in bed, freezing and then sweating and then freezing and then sweating. It was awesome.

This post is all over the place. I’m too sick to write coherently. Hopefully, I’ll be better tomorrow. So, we’re just chatting today, right? This is aiight, right?

So, as I started saying earlier…. It’s kind of exciting! I actually went to a blogger event this weekend to celebrate the Canada Moms Blog official launch! Now, I SHOULDN’T have been there with this DREADFUL cold. But, I KNEW if I didn’t show up, everyone would think I copped out — because who can REALLY tell if your sick from behind your computer screen. I NEVER go to blog events (because I sort-of made this deal with myself early on that I’d stay behind the screen), so I KNEW that if I didn’t go, they’d all think I wimped out and wasn’t committed. But, AM COMMITTED. LOOK HOW COMMITTED. I went to the event SHVITZING with fever!

Again, don’t worry, it’s not The Swine…. (Although I cannot IMAGINE being any sicker than this…!)

So, the party was well worth going to — even sick as a DAWG. (Bunch sure knows how to throw a PAR-TAY!) I hung out with some of my favourite bloggers! SWEET Katie ~ Motherbumper, the one-and-only Her Bad Mother Catherine Connors, Sandra from Mamalooper, Emma Willer from (I love this…) Where there’s a Willer…, and, last but NOT LEAST, my good ol’ friend Ali, of Cheaper Than Therapy whom I haven’t seen in MONTHS (because I am a BAD FRIEND, BAD!).

I really didn’t get enough pictures. Mostly because Rascal was clinging to me FOR DEAR LIFE for the first hour and a half of the party. After that, he warmed up and started running to the middle of the dance floor and, erm, dancing!! It was so adorable. I was so proud….

I also didn’t get enough pictures because it was just too much work for my sick self to keep digging my camera out of my bottomless purse…. It was also too much work for my sick self to say NO to Monkey getting a cotton candy — which, I (and my strong opinions!) think has to be the grossest excuse for candy ever invented….

You know you’re sick when…you let your daughter eat COTTON CANDY. Ew. I managed to steer the Rascal away from it with COOKIE….

Best of all, I think, has to be the picture Monkey drew at the party. I HAVE to share it….

Yeah, Happy Mother’s Day to ME. I’m the big POTATO in the middle of the picture. Rascal is the hilarious sad thing on the left (seriously? how funny is that?), and Josh is on the right…. Just when I was feeling SLIMMER (after a 5-pound weight loss, courtesy of being SICK AS DAWG), Monkey draws me LIKE THAT? A big fat potato. Oh man….

Okay. BACK TO BED.

Happy Mother’s Day, Gorgeouses!

Love!

xo Haley-O

If you haven’t already, go check CHEATY GOODIES for our EMERGENCY PREPAREDNESS contest. Only Canadians are eligible for this one, but (again) the post and video will make everyone think.

He was up last night. 1am. 3am. 5am. We did the let-him-cry thing. Because we’ll try anything at this point. But, then Monkey woke up. And, I couldn’t take it. So, yes, as Josh-O puts it, I’m “letting my son walk all over me.” From 5am to 7am I lay stiff as a board in the precise position Rascal requires to fall asleep. I waited ’till he started snoring — ARM WAS NUMB — before I switched to a comfortable position. And, of course, he woke up, grabbed my arm, and lay back down on it, in the position. In the position. My shoulder, neck, and upper back ache. I is tired. I is very, very tired.

But, as promised yesterday, I have Family Day adventure to tell….AND HAIRCUTS. SWEET haircuts. Monkey…GOT A BOB!!!

Right, we still have our Hanukkah decorations up. Hmm…, maybe there IS a little redneck in me?

I can’t stop mushing her cheeks now and telling her how ADORABLE HER NEW HAIR IS! Josh-O insisted “NO BOB,” but I whispered “DO IT” to the hairstylist, et VOILA!

And, then there’s her brother, too…. I can’t take it. BUZZ CUT!!!

Two words: OY OY!

Now, before I collapse right here on the keyboard, check where we went on Family Day….

THE TORONTO BEACHES!

Bet you non-Canadian Gorgeouses didn’t know Toronto had a beach, had sand, had water, had lakeside boardwalk….

Isn’t it GORJ…?

And cute beach-y houses….

And CUTE beach-y stores….

And new beach-y shades….

And, by the way, you know what that means? It means she’s no longer just “CAPTAIN TO THE RESCUE.” No, she’s “CAPTAIN MOVIE STAR TO THE RESCUE.” And, she wore them ALL MORNING today at school, of course, and throughout dinner….

In typical Rascal fashion, Rascal cried most of the day. But, the buzz-cut cuteness factor (and the walking cuteness factor) made up for it….

In all fairness to him, though, it was cold. Dang cold. As soon as we got back in the warm car, he cheered up (after, that is, we forced his wailing writhing self into his car seat), and he sang and yelled “TICKA TICKA TICKA.” Ticka — it was his first word. First Rascalism. It means “tickle.” TICKA TICKA TICKA!!!

It was a great Family Day. Something different. Beautiful. I just love being a tourist in my own city…. ‘Cept now I totally want to live there.

Love!

xo Haley-O

Last night, I neglected my blog in favour of SLEEP. I had to. Besides, it was a holiday in Ontario today: Family Day. Yes, it’s days like today that make me really love my province…. I’ll tell you all about our special Family Day tomorrow. Because, apparently, we still have the Valentine’s Day recap to get to. And, I know you’re all on the edge of your couches WAITING to hear what movie Josh-O and I ended up seeing. Was it the one YOU recommended?

I can safely, categorically, say NO. No. No. No.

Because…. Have you forgotten that Josh-O and I have the WORST LUCK when it comes to movies? We are ALWAYS late — even when we leave extra early — and we always end up seeing something other than what we planned, usually a kid’s movie. Like the time we ended up seeing Open Season. In the theatre. IN THE THEATRE.

IN THE THEATRE.

Anyway, our bad movie luck continued on Valentine’s Eve — our first date in a LO-HO-HONG TI-HI-HIME (a really REALLY long time).

The evening started off great. We dropped the monkeys off at it’sgrandma and papa’shere’s house and headed out to a new Indian restaurant in our area. We took a couple pictures of our dining selves with our blackberries. But, Josh-O looks terrible in all of them (ahem), so here’s the one picture we got where neither of us looks like we have a double chin….

I did my makeup and, as you CAN’T tell…, my hair. I wore my favourite new hoodie (which, as I found out the next day, still had the price tag hanging off it…). I felt good. And, the food was good. It’s always hard to get the waitstaff to understand what it means when I say “I’m vegan.” Our waiter couldn’t quite figure it out because he was so obsessed with telling the chef I had a “dairy allergy” — only to put a plate of chicken thingies in front of me. “She’s vegan,” Josh tried to explain. “I JUST LOVE THE BIRDS,” I added.

It was delicious and romantic. Josh and I began to remember why we got married in the first place…. Aww….

THEN. We decided we were not going to do the “Indian theme” and see Slumdog Millionaire after Indian dining. No. We were going to take advantage of our night at the BIG SCREEN, and see Coraline 3-D style. I was so excited. I’d never seen a 3D movie in the theatres before (not since Epcot Centre, anyway)! This was going to be GREAT! Wait ’til all my readers hear about this, I thought….

So, we get to the theatre. I’m pulling my hair behind my ears in anticipation of the 3D glasses. We go to the machine to pay, and, LO AND BEHOLD, there’s no 3D Coraline, AND the time is different than what it said in the papers. If we were going to see a 2D movie, it was NOT going to be Coraline because, NOW, I only want to see it in 3D. So, we BOLTED to a nearby theatre to see Slumdog.

…Only to get there…. Too late. We were too late. So, we ended up seeing the only movie we could make it to (without keeping it’sgrandma and papa’shere up all night with the monkeys)….

The International. With CLIVE. I was so depressed at first — because I really didn’t want to see this movie in theatres. But, then, pretty-much right when the movie started and CLIVE OWEN APPEARED ON THE BIG SCREEN, I relaxed. I MELTED.

It was a pretty good movie. Way too violent for me, which I expected, since I posted this very photo on my old gossip site months ago….

But, GARSH, Naomi Watts is gorgeous — and totally not a young thing….

I loved her! But, I was TRÈS disappointed that there was absolutely NO SEX in the movie. Not even a peck on the cheek. Naomi Watts’s character was even married to some other hot dude. Seriously, TRÈS disappointing. But, it was okay, because I filled that gap by imagining myself nibbling on Clive’s neck during the parts of the movie that I didn’t understand (which were many).

All in all (who says that anymore?), it was a great night. I cannot WAIT to go to another movie. Maybe with a girlfriend this week? Shopoholic anyone?

In other news…. I got lovely flowers for Valentine’s Day, which I’ve placed high up on the fireplace mantle — like a dangling carrot for poor Minden….

And…, Monkey got the best Valentine’s gift ever, from her perfect mother Build-A-Bear. I didn’t expect it to be THIS cute and big and SOFT….

Build-A-Bear also has a gift for one of YOU. I’ll tell you more about it after our current contest is over — check that before it’s dunzo!

What? You still here? You want MORE? Wasn’t this post LONG ENOUGH? I mean, MY GOODNESS! I mean, this whole thing could have been written in TWO SENTENCES: Coraline was 2D and we were late for Slumdog. Saw The International.

Just wait till tomorrow, when I tell you all about what we did TODAY! Are you on the edge of your couch? Stay tuned….

Oh, and, want to know what melts my heart (other than CLIVE!)? The thought of Tanis, of The Redneck Mommy fame, and her NEW 5-year-old son with special needs. She was FINALLY able to adopt her dream child. Congratulations, Tanis, on your beautiful new SON! See, Gorgeouses, there is much GOOD in this world.

Love!
xo Haley-O