I’m not sure if my brillers yoga teacher minds if I quote him (again), but I’m too shy to ask. And yesterday, in yoga class, a funny thing happened.

In Ashtanga yoga, which is the style of yoga I practise, you do the same sequence every day, 6 days a week. Once you’ve mastered the poses your teacher’s given you, you get to add on another pose (or more). So I’ve been “stuck” at Bhujapidasana for over 9 months now. UNTIL YESTERDAY!

David: How was your Bhujapidasana today?
Me: Umm, uh, good. I, erm, was a bit stiff in the neck, but I got my feet off the ground.
David: Okay, do Kurmasana.
Me: Umm.

DO KURMASANA. Just like that. After 9 months. NINE. NINE MONTHS.

SURE! No problem. Do Kurmasana. You want to see Kurmasana, Gorgeouses? Let me show you Kurmasana. Actually, let DAVID show you Kurmasana — LOOK!

And here’s a woman named Maria Villella demonstrating Bhujapidasana and Kurmasana (aka Hell on Hamstrings) very fancy-like on video — because you have to see these Kurmasana poses in action….

Right!? RIGHT. Do Kurmasana, he tells me. Just like that. And would you believe it’s even harder than it looks? I promise to video it when I can finally do it, ohh, 9 years from now?!

Anyway, I’m still in shock that I got a new pose. So I had to tell you all about it — even if you don’t share this crazy passion of mine. But, you know, this is my blog. And this yoga is my life saver. It makes me a healthier, happier, less OCD-anxious person. And it makes me a better — stronger, more focused, present and less nervous — mother. It’s kind of basically me. In a nutshell. Or nutshell-shaped pose. Hmmm….

And now for farm pictures.

We went to the farm near Montreal to spend the first night of Passover with Josh’s side of the family. And it was beautiful as ever. Except for that one bitty thing Betty White did. My in laws aren’t dog people, but they graciously allowed the dogs to roam free in the house, and, well, Betty White thanked them for it….

We had crated her in some cheap thing when we went out to the sugar shack (below) for a couple of hours, and the crate collapsed on poor Betty White! From the evidence we gathered, she then freaked out and started running all over the house looking for us — pooping in the living room and and AND decorating the entire upstairs with diarrhea….

A-ny-way…. She’s a GREAT DOG! I love her — like crazy.

So here are the pics! (Click to enlarge….)

We started at the sugary-sweet Sand Road Maple Farm. I was in a really good mood the first day — a true Canadian!

The whole family enjoyed an “authentic Canadian maple meal,” as I watched (since they don’t serve anything green or remotely vegan there other than orange juice). And the kids tasted their first authentic taffy stick…

…in their own special way….

The Canoe Race was a hoot. I was still in a good mood for this…. I was really into it!

…Of course the view helped…!

Unfortunately, none of the rowers opted to go through those RAPIDS OF DOOM. They all portaged. Boooo. So we stood out there for an hour for nothing….

But it’s okay because I was in a good mood and Betty White was warm….

Other than that, I planted my butt on a country chair and transcribed a couple of interviews (for hours!), and I started to get moody after feasting at the Passover Seder. Maybe it’s the yoga finally sinking in — but if I don’t eat clean (no sugar or overeating), I feel awful. Kind of like how Betty White’s puppy-cousin Kugel felt in a kippah…..

But the yoga helped. Saved me. And it’s always a treat to be out of the city and immersed in nature….

Birds….

Betty….

Love!

xo Haley-O

I don’t know who invented Wordless Wednesday. I could probably Google it. But part of the reason I’m attempting my very first Wordless Wednesday ever (and failing at it as we speak) is that I’m feeling awfully lazy. Awfully.

Which reminds me…, I have another word to submit to the Urban Dictionary: “ARFUL.” It’s the word you can all use from now on when your dog is being AWFUL. Arf!

We’re being wordless tonight because I am lazy. And because, really, these pictures from our trip to the country last weekend speak for themselves…. Checkit! (As always, click on the photos to enlarge them.)

I can’t keep it wordless any longer. Just one word. One? Oh, two…. THE DRAMA! THE DRAMA! And…. Oh, how we love our Betty White!

And that, dear Gorgeouses, was your Wordless Wednesday — the first, last, the only, Wordless Wednesday of 2010.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

LOVE!

xo Haley-O

Here’s a little something to tide you over while I’m away in the country…. Because I know you’re missing me SO much. To let another day go by without posting would be just cruel of me. Cruel. Heh.

Anyway, just to be even crueler, I thought I’d show you whom I’m hanging out with in the country. No, it’s not Clive Owen. He’s overseas working on a movie — couldn’t make it. It’s HIM:

His name’s Rusty. He and his fluffy girlfriend Pepper are brand new additions to the country house and landscape. This kitten has the life. He gets to roam around acres of farmland and all its Alice-in-Wonderland-y nooks and crannies and he gets to curl up on the couch and right here beside moi on the kitchen chair….

Bad blogger that I am, I forgot my camera cord — or whatever that thing’s called that lets you transfer photos from your camera to your computer. So this is the only photo I have to share with you today. My in laws emailed it to me before we left. It was a very sneaky and effective way to get me out here. I’m kidding, of course: I don’t do bribery; although I will do just about anything right now for a grande soy no-water chai latte, only because there ARE no Starbucks for miles here — bribe away….

Please don’t tell Minden about Rusty, or Clive Owen. (That sentence is deliberately ambiguous, btw.) Oh wait, he reads my blog. (Deliberately vague.) So, never mind….

xo Haley-O

I have VLOGS for you today — from out here in Farm Country, Canada. This is part of the MOMCENTRAL “Flip for the Holidays” tour, and goes along with our FLIP CAMCORDER GIVEAWAY (and more video) over at Cheaty Goodies. I’m taking a week’s holiday from blogging (I think), so these should keep you entertained ’til I get back, I hope!

EDIT: THIS POST HAS BEEN MOVED (AT THE GENTLE REQUEST OF MY SPONSORS) TO MY “RECOMMENDS” SITE. IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN ‘EM, GO CHECK MY HOLIDAY VIDEOS NOW OVER HERE!

Happy Holidays!

Love!

xo Haley-O

I was in the country this weekend. Just for one day — a “High Holy Day.” And what a SHORT one day it was in the peaceful now-golden fall acres of farmland. Checkit:

I don’t have much to report (except that I may or may not have gained at least two pounds). There were no always-anticipated alien, zombie or vampire sightings. No waking up to a crop circle. Just your regular weekend in the country with FREAKISH SUNFLOWERS….

Not freakish enough for you? CLOSER:

This thing, just to give you an idea, is bigger than MY HEAD. Not that my head is that big. Actually,  I have quite a small head. But, IT’S BIGGER THAN MY HEAD. And totally heavier.

Blowing in the wind….

I’ve never seen anything like that in my life. Nature. Is. Awesome. I love her.

And, speaking of love…. If you want to see my little RASCAL modeling TEA CLOTHING, you have to get into bTrendie with invitation code CHEATY. He’ll be up Monday to Thursday. Here’s a preview….

…Complete with his new “The Igor” haircut….

Oh! And our bTrendie buyer/co-founder LISA LITOWITZ says HI! She was positively brillers at getting Rascal to pose, so she gets a cheaty shout-out….

GORJ!

Love!

xo Haley-O

Minden missed me so much. While I was vacationing way out on my father in law’s farm near Montreal, he hid under the couch. My mother had to call the cat sitter who herself was nervous about his whereabouts. He was under the couch, or in the cupboard, while his sister, the uncharacteristically spry MARGE, gallivanted about the halls — soaking up the bliss of an empty, kidless house.

It’s a pretty farm. I’d say “pretty little farm,” but it’s far from little. Acres and acres of land on all sides. It’s beautiful — quite stunning, really, especially at my favourite time of day, dusk, when the sun is going down and brushing its pink, purple, orange strokes across the sky and along the hay-bale-dotted horizon. Ahhh…. Air. Country air. Enough to make you insane after a week of total isolation and no nanny.

Anyway…. C’mon, I’ll show you around….

The swimming pool…. We spent most of our time at the pool, and we have the sunburns to prove it. By the end of the trip, my dives were PERFECTION. We’re talking Chinese-Olympian PERFECTION.

The kiddie pool, aka the HOT TUB. Farmer Zaide has hot water in his hose, and we made good use of it.

You don’t need other peeps in the HOT TUB to have a HOT TUB PARTY!

FROG! TOAD!

TREE FROG! AT THE DOOR. I wanted to feed him but no one would let me. I love feeding the animals, but it’s not always recommended — especially in the country where there are more than just SQUIRRELS (Howard the Squirrel, since YOU ASKED, is thriving here in the city — I love him, too).

Tub o’ Fish. Happy, big-arse goldfish.

Inukshuk.

Tomatoes.

Romaine lettuce.

Zucchini! Did you know zucchini is a FLOWER?

Beans.

Rascal. Not farming. Just fondling the UR-UR on his new shoes….

UR-UR. “Mama, lootz! UR-UR!” (Translation: “Mama, look! TRAIN!”)

Sunflower. In bloom.

Carrot FAIL.

We ate them anyway. They were difficult to peel.

Potatoes from the farm — so many from one single bush! Made up for the carrot fail.

ME! On the FARM. In my now officially SIGNATURE hat. Glowingish (but bitchy) from FULL-ON detox — more on that later.

Windowsill.

Josh surprised me with a day trip to beautiful OTTAWA (an hour away)….

I wasn’t prepared for the trip AT ALL. I arrived in the big city wearing crocs and no makeup — total farmer. HENCE I insisted we hide from Chantal, Annie, and Loukia deep in the downtown market, which was fascinating, by the way….

The next day, we went to our beloved Montreal (1.5 hours away), where we found a water park….

Monkey loves her some water park….

So does Rascal. Those are shorts, by the way. 10th percentile, BABY!

Oh yeah….

When we got home Sunday evening, Minden came running to the door and jumped me like Dino when Fred Flintstone walks in the door. And he hasn’t really shut up since. I missed the little fluffball….

Little does he know we’re away NEXT WEEK, too….

TOTALLY missed you, too, Gorgeouses….

Love!

xo Haley-O

I can’t come to the blog right now. Washing my hair. Eating corn. Swimming. Lounging in hammock. Buying forgotten diapers and sippy cups. Drinking behr. Watching Ratatouille again, Big Brother. Tweeting. Being a bitch Fighting major Starbucks Withdrawal (capital S, capital W). Reading ma book, and flirty gossip magazines — OMG, Heidi Montag posed for Playboy and, wait, why, pray tell, does that surprise me? Listening to crickets, loons, cows…, crickets. Spritzing the kids every five seconds with sunscreen. Begging Monkey to eat anything other than APPOH JUICE (cursed apple juice). Schvitzing. Swimming. Schvitzing. Swimming.

I can’t come to the blog right now because I am IN THE COUNTRY. Back soon!

LOVE!

xo Haley-O

‘Sup dawg?

No.

No. No. No.

I’m just watching American Idol right now, and Randy Jackson has that effect on me. Plus, I’m tired.

No.

I’m EXHAUSTED.

The monkeys and I went to the country today to watch it’sgrandma ride her horse Whisper.

LONG DAY.

At one point, I could hardly keep my eyes open — I was sneaking in 2-SECOND naps. I swear. I don’t even know how I’m writing this. And, I still have Valentine’s Day cards to prepare for Monkey’s class tomorrow. Oy.

Huh? Ahem. S’up Dawg! Wha? Who won? Oh. OH! Eek. Don’t know what happened there. Must have dosed off. Am awake now. Awake. Always a-fricken-wake. I need sleep. I mean real sleep. Like, in-a-hotel sleep. Because I can’t sleep with this Rascal waking up in hysterics at all hours.

It’s just too much.

Also too much was dinner at Fresh — my fave vegetarian restaurant in the city. WHICH I can now mention by name on my blog because the WAITER this eve WAS FAB. Love love love. Why was it too much, you ask? Try because (AMONG OTHER THINGS) I had to leave the table with hummus-covered flailing Rascal only to have him writhe in hysterics ON HIS BACK…, ON THE FLOOR, in the front of the restaurant. (I’m waiting for them to send me my Mother of the Year award….)

I’m okay. Really. I’m okay.

So, for now, I give you pictures of the day. To speak more than words I simply don’t have today. Sleep is taking over and…need… I… to make… cards… Tine .. Valen……

Gorj…. I need this. Need to get out of the city as often as I can. Just to breathe….

He loves horses….

Monkey and it’sgrandma gave Whisper a nice hot bath…. He LOVED it. So did she….

Whisper does the most bizarre tongue thing. It’s hilarious. See it? The tongue? He’s constantly got his tongue sticking out. He’s loves his tongue. Loves his bath. Loves his work. Loves his stall. He’s one happy, lucky horse. I love him.

….Besides, Gorgeouses? You know, I’m still totally hungover from yesterday’s cheat day….

Love!
xo Haley-O

Contest over at Goodies!. Get yer JURLIQUE, HAUSCHKA, PURE+SIMPLE…! Check it!

The view from my toilet….

The view from my bed….

The view from the upstairs hall….

The view from the back window….

The view from the back window (not in time to catch the WILD TURKEY!)….

The view of the sunset as I worked at my computer….

The view of the sunset….

Isn’t it beautiful? Josh-O practically had to drag me by the HAIR to the country. I just have SO MUCH TO DO here. Always so much to do. But, obviously, it was worth it. I wished we could have stayed longer because it was just so beautiful. It was so mind-clearing to have SO MUCH SPACE all around me. Nothing but white, and trees, and happy, frolicking squirrels and WILD TURKEYS, and birds and, somewhere out there, coyotes….

Although…, it is quite possible that my father in law and I would have killed each other had I stayed a little longer. It’s really my fault, though. I am so irritable and flipping angry on no sleep, and anxious in general, and don’t get me started on Sarah Palin’s aerial wolf slaughter* and anti-conservation agendas because there are no good reasons for that and the whole thing makes me FURIOUS. I love wolves. I mean, LOVE wolves…. (Did anyone catch Ashley Judd and Defenders of Wildlife’s President Rodger Schlickeisen on Larry King Live this weekend? They did a really great job. Applause!)

Sigh….

To make myself feel better, I (finally) bought some new clothes today. I’m teaching so much yoga these days that I need more than ONE (ratty black) HOODIE to schlep around in, don’t you think? So, we went to Old Navy, where the perfect hoodies come out to play. I thought I was going to get another black one — since I love teaching in all-black — but I got daring. Check what I bought!

Le SPORTY….

Le PURPLE….

It’s bright! Bright purple! But, I need a little more bright in my wardrobe (and to run a BRUSH through my hair before self-photographing — no, I will never learn!)….

Of course, I also got myself another NEW black hoodie (a staple for me, really) and a couple tight-ish tees. The hoodies are TRÈS tight on me — all the more incentive to lose these last 15 pounds. Especially since my 21-day cleanse ENDS TOMORROW! Will I have the MUCH MISSED Starbucks soy no-water chai tea latte, WHICH I haven’t had in TWENTY-ONE DAYS? Or, won’t I? STAY TUNED! Please try to discourage me from ever imbibing that thing again, though?! PLEASE. Begging.

LOVE!

xo Haley-O

*…and bears, and their cubs. For more info, or to take action, go to http://eyeonpalin.org or, of course, to Defenders of Wildlife. Thank you….

Contest over at Goodies — check it!

I’m thinking of doing a cleanse. I’m ALWAYS thinking of doing a cleanse. It has to start with WINE. I’ve been drinking a lot of WINE lately. I think it’s because I hadn’t had ANY wine for a whole YEAR and 10 months (nursing and pregnancy). And, every time I drink wine, my tooth says NO NO NO — and, now, it says NO almost as soon as I take the first sip! It’s insanity. And, it’s a real shame because I love me a good wine buzz sometimes….

But, anyway, I wanted to share some pics from the weekend. We went up to the barn at which it’sgrandma boards and rides her horse. They were having a GRAND OPENING soirée. And, Gorgeouses, it’s beautiful….

To think, she goes there EVERY DAY. A LO-HO-HONG way from home. Now, THAT’S dedication. But, she’s passionate about horses, and she loves riding. Here’s it’sgrandma and Whisper….

It DOTH keep her YOUNG, doesn’t it? Look how gorj! Animals do that…. Yes. And, as we all know now, Cheaty LOVES animals. Yes, as we all know now, Cheaty’s love of animals PLUS Cheaty’s obsessive tendencies EQUALS, well, you know….

Sigh…, I just love him. Love horses. LOVE animals. Check me feeding him an apple. Brings me SUCH joy….

I also LOVED scratching him behind the ears…. Bliss.

I really am SO HAPPY when I’m with a happy animal. And, my kids — what do you know?! — LOVE animals. It’sgrandma was AMAZED at how Rascal didn’t budge as Whisper nuzzled his li’l blond head….

Check Rascal in his FARMER overalls. OY!

While walking home from the restaurant this evening….

Monkey: I can’t see the lights, Mama.
Me: Why, Monkey?
Monkey: Because the future is here.

By the way, HUGE SHOUT OUT to OPRAH for doing today’s wonderful show in a way that was watchable (for those of us who aren’t TOTAL EMPATHS, like moi — who managed still to WATCH it, but just with hand over mouth to keep jaw in place and emotions from pouring out and flooding house) and somewhat hopeful. THIS GUY, Nicolas Kristof, I LOVED….

And, THIS GUY, Wayne Pacelle — president of the Humane Society of the United States, the original sponsor of Proposition 2 (which, if it passes, will ban factory farms in California from raising chickens, calves or hogs in small pens or cages) — I ALSO LOVED….

Thank God for people like him. GO PROPOSITION 2! It’s not the be-all-and-end-all, but it’s a start…it’s something.

PLEASE NOTE: THE WHOLE TIME I’VE BEEN WRITING THIS POST, I’ve had (and still have) TWO cats on my lap. TWO. Here’s proof (sorry, taken with pinkberry because couldn’t exactly GET UP to go get camera…):

And, yes, I’m as comfortable as I look. Ahem. See, kitties know their mama’s a crazy animal lover…. Crazy enough to let BOTH of them sit on her lap as she does her work…. One of whom, by the way, is covering my entire face with sloppy kisses.

Check how the flash caught the SLOBBER! Love. And, yes, he was doing the whole TILTING-THE-HEAD thing. Going in for the tongue. Ew. MINDEN NO! ANYWAY!

By the way, my other two cats — Marge and, umm, Simba – say hi.

That painting is STILL not done (YELLOW), of course, but, you know, no time. Time, time, time…. Must make more of it….

LOVE!

xo Haley-O