My first couple of days have been eventful. I tried the subway, yes I did. And it was a big fat FAIL (#bygones) because, of course, I got lost. And, it being the hottest day since the Dinosaur era (actually, I just googled, the temperatures during the dinosaur era are a subject of controversy, FYI), I arrived at work a sweaty frizz ball, and I have a hideous new photo-ID card to prove it. My work clothes were drenched, makeup was running, and blisters emerged by the dozen on my poor feet, way unused to high heels! But it didn’t matter. Everything exceeded my expectations — the people, the role, the office space. I have a desk with a view, Gorgeouses, of beautiful downtown Toronto. And I’m sure the novelty of the glam fashion magazine posters gracing the walls will take a while to wear off….

What else? I’ll keep you posted on when/where my work is published. In the meantime, I’m enjoying writing and learning a ton of stuff from all sorts of experts I’ve been interviewing. Totally fun and challenging!

I really appreciate all your support and congratulations in the comments, email, twitter, facebook…. Seriously, fahklempt! To show my gratitude, I give you a…a gift: some, umm, art created by none other than THE MONKEY — who, trust me, loooves that her mama’s suddenly wearing heals, dress pants, anything but Lululemons….

When I first saw this drawing, I was immediately drawn to the butterfly — because I distinctly remember loving to draw butterflies when I was in Kindergarten. My parents, of course, framed one of my butterfly masterpieces….

So, I’m sitting there tearing up over this butterfly, and then, I notice something. Not the curious scissorhands or fabulously long feet, but…this:

Ummm, what the…?  Freud?

It is priceless, isn’t it? And I give it to you, dear Gorgeouses, with love and thanks. Enjoy!

Love!

xo Haley-O

I know my brother won’t want me to post a photo of his new baby boy on the blog — party pooper! So, instead, I give you this photo of the Monkey’s favourite baby doll, “Marshmallow,” lying in yet another one of her curiously concocted beds/worlds….

Congratulations, Mark and Sabrina! He’s beautiful! (9 pounds!!!)

NEW DOG….

Betty White continues to thrive in her new home with us. Having spent the first 5 months of her life in a high-rise condo, she probably didn’t get out much. You should have seen her last night, when I took her out to look at the moon. (Yes, I did.) WOAAAH….

NEW JOB….

Gorgeouses, you’re now looking at the new “Editor/Writer” at Today’s Parent.com!

I can’t even begin to tell you all the cool things I’ll be doing at Today’sParent.com — except to say that it’s so exciting. And, happily, I’ve been able to arrange it so my kids won’t feel a thing. Although, come to think of it, they’ll definitely wonder why mom’s not sleeping in to the last minute any more! And something tells me they’ll love that….

As many of you know, I’ve worked extremely hard since the Monkey was a baby. Blogging every day until recently, come hell (prenatal depression) or high water (screaming, sleepless babies), and it’s paid off. Not only am I now working at one of Canada’s most respected parenting magazines, but, I have to tell you, when I was young(er), I used to dream about writing for Chatelaine and Flare. And, would you believe? I’m working in the very same offices with them? I’ll be walking by the glitzy clothing racks on my way to my desk. How glam for a “couch writer” like me! And, I’ll actually be contributing to these magazines, as well, I’m told. All this, and I never got all the way through The Secret….

To top it all off, there’s my manager. Her name’s Hailey, too — clearly, she spells it wrong, though. She and I clicked the moment we met. But, want to hear what a big dork I am? I sat in HER chair when I went in for my interview! She’s still laughing (hysterically) about it. I’m just starting to get over the embarrassment.

I must say, motherhood has been, among other intense and amazing things, perhaps the most creative time in my life — brimming with opportunities, and with friends.

It’s a new adventure, Gorgeouses! And it starts TUESDAY.

LOVE!

xo Haley-O

P.S.: Your questions/comments have prompted me to add this wee addendum: I’ll be writing/editing online.  So, by all means, SUBSCRIBE to TodaysParent.com!

It doesn’t translate so well in photo. It’s way cuter in real life. Nor does it translate into actual sleeping. HE. DOES NOT. SLEEP. anymore.

He DID NOT sleep AT ALL last night when I REALLY needed him to. I had a BIG DAY today. I had to chair a meeting with some of the most incredible women on the internet. And I had to do it shaking like a leaf after chugging a CHAI (yes) to stimulate me into semi-awareness, semi-functionality.

And, am I making sense? Because, OMG AM TIRED!? Like, nauseous, heart-thumping tired.

Yes, I am completely sleepless right now. Except for the 22 minutes I stole in the latter part of Igor — our rainy-day/crazay-work-day movie.

Because, yes, I’m a crazay working mom. A WAHM. And a WOHM. A WAHM-WOHM. WOHM-WAHM. But, mostly WAHM. It’s official. I work more hours at home than I do at the office. I work with the macbook on the kitchen counter as I cook meals, with little monkeys pulling at my pants and fighting with each other and screaming.

My new routine working full time (in and out of the home) has been a huge transition not only for me, but for the monkeys. They are feeling it. They’re not sleeping. They’re clingy. They’re NOT LISTENING. They’re pushing the nanny away before I leave for the office: “I DON’T WANT YOU, RACHEL!” (can you imagine?). And, HE’s screaming bloody murder when I drop him off at it’sgrandma’s house — which used to be his FAVOURITE second home — or when I leave him with Josh-O while I scoot off to the gym for an hour. Did I mention NOT SLEEPING?

It’s insane, chaotic MADNESS, this life. Balance yet to be attained. Always out of reach. A constant physical and emotional struggle. Guilt. Prioritizing. Compartmentalizing. HARD, man.

But, I figured out an analogy that helps me manage my own confusion and vexation around all this: BEING A WORK-AT-HOME-MOM IS LIKE HAVING ANOTHER CHILD. All of a sudden, Mama’s still HERE, but she’s putting a lot of her attention elsewhere…. Ooo, Email’s crying! Blackberry’s hungry! Macbook needs a diaper change! HARD, man. For all of us.

But, I’ll get it right. Am determined to TRY to make everyone happy happy happy. And sleeping through the night again.

Okay, to bed. But, one more thing quickly: Monkey has her first crush…. Squeeeeeeeee!

Squeeee, yes. But, she’s not even FOUR YEARS OLD. I’m in trouble, I know. “Mama, I want to invite C. over for a pajama party,” she tells me ALREADY IN HER PAJAMAS…in the middle of the day.

GOOD NIGHT! May we ALL sleep deep and all night long tonight. Pray for me!

Also, pray for me tomorrow when I have my first Ayurveda treatment. Eeek! Nostrils are ready and waiting. Nothing will surprise me…right…? right…?

Love!

xo Haley-O

BUT, one more thing before the big reveal, because I know you’re going to just go ahead and click and then be like WTF do I do now? YOU NEED THIS SPECIAL INVITATION CODE TO GET IN (special for my tweeps and blog readers): “Cheaty.” Just enter “cheaty” in the invitation code, and you’re officially invited. You’re a member O-O-O-OF…..

Meet bTrendie: Gorgeouses — bTrendie. bTrendie — Gorgeouses.

It’s a MOM SHOPPING NETWORK where you score amazing stuff at up to 60% off! We’re bringing in all kinds of name brands, designer brands, and special hard-to-find brands — for mom herself (gorj slings, yoga pants, diaper bags, home decor, etc.) and baby (TOYS, strollers, onesies, dishes, organic goodies, etc.)! Right now, it’s still in BETA (under construction), but it’s ready to shop. I still have to get to some of the copy, the product descriptions…. (Slacker. Heh.)

NOW, bTrendie is a US site. So, at least for the time being, Canadians can’t benefit from the awesome deals (I know, wahh!), but I WILL BE BLOGGING THERE, and there will be interesting features on the site that everyone can enjoy.

I don’t ask for much, do I? Just that you listen to me whine, laugh at my jokes and quirks, and tell me what to do about things like THE HOWARD STERN DEBACLE (he dm’d me AGAIN; my NYC sources say it’s really him..!).  So, check it: my official title at bTrendie is DIRECTOR, MEMBERSHIP & COMMUNITY. Sweet, I know…. This means, I have to ask all ma Gorgeouses to join the site, explore it, enjoy it, and invite ALL your US friends to be members — let your friends in on the trend…! I promise I’ll throw a great contest and whine and joke and quirk MUCH in return. PROMISE.

In fact, very shortly, I’ll be bringing some products over here for a bTrendie contest, and you’ll ALL be eligible to win (even you LindseyJay, who wins everything). Because I want to share bTrendie (a major part of my “new” life now) with ALL OF YOU…and your one thousand closest friends……. LOVE…!

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENT….

LOVE!

xo Haley-O

Monkey: And Dada’s going to stay home?
Me: No, Monkey, you have a nanny now so MAMA can go to work, too.
Monkey: Can I come with you?
Me: No, Monkey, you have to stay with Rachel. But Mama will be home REALLY soon!

I got home about 2 hours later, excited about New Job and about the experience of going way DOWNTOWN (i.e., not just downtown, but WAY. WAY downtown) to CHICHI restaurant not far from the office.

I guess I must have been REALLY hungry after all these DAYS AND DAYS of being SICK AS A DAWG. Because I scarfed down my food — a vegetarian wrap — and took what I couldn’t finish (because had to leave early to rescue nanny) to go. I TOOK THE REST TO GO. I don’t like wasting food, but I never imagined myself taking food home from a company lunch…. Ahem.

I did manage to talk while scarfing, though. A lot. Something comes over me when I’m in unusual situations. I’m actually quite shy. But, put me in a room full of new people and I’m LOUD and giggling and TALKING TO EVERYONE.

You’d never guess I’m shy as [insert clever metaphor, i.e., a mouse? Albert Einstein? Carrie Underwood? -- ALL SHY]!

Minden, on the other hand, is NOT SHY in any situation (and, no, this is not a gratuitous kitty picture — it is perfectly called for)….

That was Minden doing his best Adam Lambert….

Speaking of which….

I LOVED Danny Gokey this entire season of American Idol, and it was A GOOD season — the best in a long time….

But, after his breathtaking performance of Kanye West’s “Heartless,” I fell IN LOVE with Kris Allen. And so will you when you see for yourself….

…Okay, how CUTE is he????

So, anyway, as I was saying…. I’m more THRILLED that Kris Allen is in the finale than I am depressed that Danny Gokey is GONZO. Because Danny will be FINE. He has more talent than most of the Idol winners before him, and he’s got so much charisma, and he’s got THE STORY (his wife died shortly before the competition — “TRAGEDY TO TRIUMPH,” as he says). He’ll be FINE. And, personally? I blame Paula and her DIPPY song choice for Danny’s demise.

ERGO, Americans? Since I can’t vote, you’re going to have to vote FOR ME. And, since you can’t vote for Danny, vote for Kris Allen — and those quirky adorable faces he makes when he hits the high notes. OY!

I digress. A lot. As usual. It’s kind of my thang. When you come here, you learn to expect digression. And gratuitous kitty pictures….

So, I am loving New Job. I am loving chichi lunches and challenges to my shy self. I DO need new shoes, though, now that Josh-O and it’sgrandma have staged an INTERVENTION: no more winter boots. I am no longer permitted to wear my winter boots…, or they will have me committed.

Okay, this was fun, Gorgeouses. BACK TO WORK.

Have you checked Cheaty Goodies for the WINNER of our Emergency Preparedness contest?

LOVE!
xo Haley-O

Oy! Anyway, I got a JOB, Gorgeouses! I’m a working girl. I mean, I’ve always been a working girl — between the yoga teaching and the Kids Deserve Art, and the freelance writing. It’s endless really. And, I don’t know how I do it, no.

But, this is a real job. People are, like, depending on me to do great work. I’m excited and a little nervous and totally passionate about the project — not least because the people I’m working with are amazing and enthusiastic and passionate.

I’d love to tell you more about it, but I can’t AT THIS TIME. You’re just gonna have to wait a WEE bit longer. But, I’m telling you, it’s worth it. This is TRES coo….

What I CAN tell you, though, is Mama’s got some HELP with the monkeys now. I scored myself some good part-time help so I can maybe have some time to actually, you know, work.

The ONLY problem is…is… this….

Tigger. She’s way fat. And she INSISTS on lying on me WHENEVER I turn on my computer. In fact, WHENEVER I sit down ANYWHERE. I can’t tell you how frustrating this is, especially when I’m in a time crunch (i.e., ALWAYS). Sigh. She’s on my lap right now. UGH Don’t get me started on those claws…. AAAARRRGH! I think she just farted.

Can we talk about Kris Allen for a minute? How the heck did he pull off “She Works Hard for the Money” on American Idol last night? And how did he win me over last week after I couldn’t BE BOTHERED with him ALL the weeks before — except to say he’s ADORABLE? Here’s Kris blowing me away last week with “Falling Slowly”….

I love LOVE Danny Gokey. But, now, MOVE OVER DANNY! Well, no. Danny’s number one. But, Kris is inching closer EVERY WEEK. “She Works Hard for the Money” — hello? How? What? Are you KIDDING ME? WHERE did he COME from!? Awesome. And HOTT.

When Josh first held our son RASCAL in his arms, I can TELL you, as Brody Jenner says (and OMG, I am 34 years old and quoting BRODY JENNER), FOR ONE HUNDRED PER CENT FACT that Josh-O did not picture the two of them doing THIS together….

Calico DOLL HOUSE! Check how into it they are….

Note to self: BLACKMAIL Rascal with this later (already blackmailed Josh-O, but he refused to give me his new iTouch, so there!).

I take pictures of squirrels….

Isn’t he GORJ?

Gorgeouses! Speaking of squirrels and GORJ, Happy Earth Day! I want to REALLY celebrate today. Because this beautiful Earth of ours deserves to be honoured and celebrated and thanked. And, honestly, I never felt as strongly about Earth, nature and animals until I had children. I want more than anything for my children and their children to have a HEALTHY Earth, clean water, clean air, TREES, ANIMALS….! I want it so badly that I get obsessive and overly passionate, as you know…. I pick up garbage off the street, yes I do. I recycle EVERYTHING, including stray water bottles on the street — always figuring somehow they’ll end up in the ocean (LOVE OCEAN). I try to limit the amount of garbage my family produces. I EAT NO MEAT — and wouldn’t it be great if everyone just ate a LITTLE LESS meat? Don’t worry, I won’t get started! And, of course, Ifeedtheneighbourhoodsquirrels….

Indeed, my hope and passion for this planet was revived most recently, when I went to Bermuda and saw some of Earth’s truly AWESOME beauty….

And, way to go Disney! This Earth movie looks positively stunning, and inspiring. Enjoy the trailer….

Happy Earth Day, Earth! May our carbon footprints soon start to fade and you flourish for millenniums to come….

LOVE!

xo Haley-O