It’s hard to write a blog post with a cat on your lap. I think that’s one of the reason’s I blog less often than I used to. That, and twitter, and my seasonal anti-socialness. Yes, beloved Macbook, I know “socialness” is not a word but, according to you, either is “macbook.” There’s such a thing as poetic license, you know. And thank you for helping me spell “license.” It’s one of those words I never know how to spell. That, and “exercise” and “occasion,” and “judgment.” Reminds me of how it took me the longest time to notice the spelling of “schedule” — why not “schedual”?

I so think I’m Aristotle right now — ruminating on the little particulars in life and in the mind…. Because I just read this FABO (I know, not officially a word but whatevs) novel all about Aristotle and his student Alexander the Great….

Yes, I read Annabel Lyon’s The Golden Mean. It was my T-Dot blogger bookclub choice. Aside from the animal experimentation and dead-soldier dissection — Alexander the Great was a wee bit CRAZY (crazy but HOT, apparently) — this was the most relaxing, enjoyable book I’ve read in a long time.

If you loved The Tudors and Rome TV series (LOVE LOVE LOVE), you’ll love this book. Lyon takes you RIGHT out of the 20th century, and into Aristotle’s mind — an insatiably curious, innocent, self-questioning, seeking and apparently bi-polar mind.

If you love ancient philosophy, you’ll love this book. Lyon’s (historical-fictional) contextualization of Aristotle’s works makes his theories so much more accessible than your philosophy professor ever could. If only this book were around when I was taking philosophy exams. I had so many “AHA!” moments — or, should I say, “EUREKA” moments!

If you love ancient history, you might, as the author puts it in her acknowledgments, “turn purple” when you read this book. But I was okay with that.

If you love a little erotica in your reading, you’ll love this book. I’m not sure I ever needed to imagine Aristotle’s sex life. But, it was cool to learn how his second wife taught him that there is, indeed, such a thing as a female orgasm. EUREKA!

At Book Club last night, we didn’t talk much about the book. Probably because we all had different levels of interest in Aristotle and his philosophy. I wanted to talk about the significance and treatment of TRAGEDY and CATHARSIS in the book — but I was once a post-graduate philosophy major. AND WE WERE TIRED. AND WE WANTED TO CUPCAKES…. Check ‘em out!

I set them up in my fancy cake plate. Ooo, did I mention I entertained? I ENTERTAINED. I never entertain at my house. EVER. I chose the book; I hosted the SOIREE. But, I think I did ok! What do you think? Check out the table….

Fresh veggies and hummus….

Chips and dips, and fancy NUTS — total HIT — from my fave food store, Organic Abundance — presented in a GORJ clay bowl handmade by BFF Jenifer-Lyn Terner….

And various grains and bean dishes, etc., etc….

And I dressed up my 5-pound LIGHTER bod….

Getting there…! (I’m getting my haircut TOMORROW, woohoo!). And I wore my fancy slippers….

And I had a great time with my bloggy buddies — like the fabulous and brillers KAREN….

…and SANDRA MAMALOOPER….

Lovelies KITTENPIE and BLITHELY BABBLING don’t show their faces online. But I managed to get a picture of Kittenpie’s lap….

And, of course, the “unwonted guest”…. The Monkey LOVES Mamalooper…. Here she is trudge-trudge-trudging BACK upstairs for the fifth time (I saved her a cupcake, of course)….

It was a FAB party, if I do say so myself. Several peeps in the club couldn’t make it, so it was low key. We drank mint green tea, instead of wine. I turned on the fireplace and gave Mamalooper a blanket to cozy up in. They left after 11pm. I went to bed happy.

Then, today, the Monkey barged in on me when I was in the shower, yelling, “THAT’S MY MAMA!” Let’s just say her playdate, Jill, got an eye full….

THIS MONTH’S BOOK: Sara Gruen’s Water for Elephants.

Thinking about the people in Haiti today. A great place to donate is here –  http://freethechildren.com/.

LOVE….

xo Haley-O

This post should probably be FIVE posts and not one (edit: two). But, if I don’t do this now, get it all out NOW, it might get away, and I might never write it. So it has to be done. All of it — even though eyes are still half shut from all the drinking, dancing (oh yeeeahhh), late nights and CONSTANT schmoozing (I HAVE NEVER). When I went to the grocery store today, I checked EVERYONE out and wondered…”DO I KNOW YOU?” Because that’s what you do the WHOLE time at BlogHer. You are constantly asking, “Do I know her?” “Is that? NOOO. YES! Better go say hi! Or, not.” It can make you a little insane. Total culture shock. Anyway, onward!

I ARRIVED…. Chicago is a GORJ city. Much like Toronto — only, they have peeps who, like, take your garbage to the DUMP! TO THINK! Gah.

I felt really out of place when I got there the first day. I DID hide in my room for a bit because the whole thing was so overwhelming. But, then I changed out of my yoga pants, put on my HOT PANTS and gladiator heels, and I was good to go with head held high. Note: I wore my yoga pants and running shoes the ENTIRE rest of the time.

Believe it or not, I hung out with SO many Toronto peeps!

Like, Ms. Emma Willer — because, you know, Where there’s a WILLER, there’s…A WAY — hung out a lot. Here we are experimenting with our self-portraits at lunch. CHIN UP?

OR, CHIN DOWN? We can’t decide which is more flattering….

OR, the torso shot at the Saturday-night cocktail party by the waterssss. GORJ…. (This post does not adhere to chronological order because I’ve come to terms with the sorry fact that I’m a tragically circular thinker. I just don’t DO linear — in case you haven’t noticed BLAH BLAH, omg, THE TANGENTS.)

I just love me some down-to-earth peeps! Speaking of which…. Some KARENMEG!

And some sweet lovely CARING-for-my-overwhelmed-soul KATIE MOTHERBUMPER!

Ma girl MANDY GRATTON! (We took this pic ourselves.)

And, the DON MILLS DIVA Kelly Graham-Scherer IN THE FLESH — who, by the way, made one fine KEYNOTE. Go girl! PLAYDATE (I’m holding you to it!)

And, of course, the woman who got me blogging in the first place, Ms. AliMartell — my old friend and co-worker at that big ole red publishing company….

Yes, it seems you have to go to CHICAGO to hang with your Canadian peeps (even though Ms. Martell is moving to Atlanta AS WE SPEAK!).

I met SO many awesome non-Canadian’s, too, of course! A highlight for me was meeting one of the first bloggers I ever loved. AMALAH! If only…to have…that ARM! She’s GORJ! And SWEET! Loooove!

AND, she probably thought I was stalking her at the Mamapop panel…. But, no. I just smile A LOT. Am COMPULSIVE smiler. But, I DID get a pic of another fave peep of mine, Jodifur, and Amalah’s little boy EZRA! OY!

(Jodifur doesn’t like this pic. And she DOTH look GORJER in real life than in this pic — but OY. EZRA. Had to share.)

And, the one-and-only 6-months-preggers fabtastic writer and person MEGAN JORDAN. LOVE! Love love. Really. I loved hanging with her, and…

and…, AND…. I loved GOING ON AND ON AND ON to her (and to the amazing adorable NEILOCHKA) about — WAIT FOR IT! — TIM GUNN (look at my sidebar posted WAY before BLOGHER! BIGTIME CELEBRITY LOVE)!

I met him. I met Tim Gunn at BlogHer. “We need to stick together,” he tells me….

To be continued….

Make it work!

xo Haley-O

P.S.: For the full photo debrief, check my flickr #blogher09 stream! Enjoy!

P.P.S.: It’s The MONKEY’S 4th Birthday today! FOURTH!!! Happy Birthday, Monkey! I love you….

On some of my darker days, I’ve woken up in the morning to the sad notion that “I have nothing to look forward to.” As one of the grandfathers at Monkey’s preschool says, “Parenting young ones is like Groundhog Day: the same dang thing every day.” (I added in the “dang” part). I love this guy, by the way. Love it when he picks up Monkey’s friend from school. He looks just like James Cromwell of Babe fame….

Yeah, Grandpa totally looks like him. Only without the pig — which is too bad because LOVE PIGS (as you know), so if he had one, I’d be all over it.

Where were we? IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!

So, so, SO! I have something very exciting coming up. FOR ME. FOR MEEEEEE! (And extra “E”s are WARRANTEDDDDD!!!)

By the grace of the UNIVERSE and some very GIVING loved ones, I am….

I’M GOING TO BERMUDA!!!!!

And that’s not ALL….

BY MYSELF!!!!!

Yes, I’m going to Bermuda. Hold on a second. Can we get a little bling here, please?

OHH YEEEAAAAHHHH!

Gorgeouses, I’m going to Bermuda for four days (three nights) at the end of the month to see one of my BEST FRIENDS OF ALL TIME — “Erna” — and her awesome fiance Matthew get married. I honestly didn’t think I was going to make it. With the economy the way it is right now, who’s traveling? But, (and I can’t get into it here) MIRACLE stepped in. And MAMA’S GOING TO BERMUDA!

By myself….

I’m not sure how I’ll handle being without my kids, in all seriousness. I haven’t been sans kids for THREE AND A HALF YEARS. And, all of a sudden, I’m going FAR AWAY for three nights? Four mornings without Rascal’s morning snuggles? I don’t know how I’ll deal.

Oh, but I’ll deal….

In the meantime, we are officially in OPERATION: BERMUDA mode. The diet dial is on full BLAST so I can MAYBE get into a bathing suit when I go walking along the beach ALONE with iPOD.

Gorgeouses, I’m going to Bermuda. I’m going ALONE. I’m going to PARTAY. I’m going to see Erna get married….

Love!
xo Haley-O

Rascal was up all night AGAIN last night. At 15 months, I’m dealing with this?

What’s worse? THE MONKEY didn’t sleep either last night. While Rascal sat up screaming, she turned on her light and started playing with, you know, THEM….

Before I go on — in my shouldn’t-be-blogging SLEEPY state (forgives…) — I feel I have a responsibility to tell you that a funny little furball just climbed on my lap and is kissing my face off…. Aww…. I am so loved….

He sleeps. Lucky. Only lucky people (and cats) get to sleep. People with benevolent angel children. (Cats can sleep through anything.)

Last night, the Monkey woke up screaming for me. At first I was flattered that, when push comes to shove, she wants MOI and not DADA. But, then I was all, “OH CARP NOOOOO! THE RASCAL! YOU’RE GONNA WAKE THE RASCAL!” Because we know that if Rascal wakes up the night is OVER. And he woke up. And, it was. Over.

He screamed and screamed and gasped for air in between screams. And, there wasn’t much I could do because the Monkey wanted ME. And 3-year-olds don’t DO rejection. Josh-O tried to go in, but it was fruitless. Rascal wanted me. And, of course, I’m flattered at first, but then I’m just mad and just fed up….

And, you know this is an old picture of Anne Hathaway (2004) because she’s not, like, EMACIATED like she is now. Hello? Yeesh.

So, I didn’t sleep AT ALL last night. When I was finally able to leave the Monkey to PLAY with her BACKYARDIGANS, I picked up the Rascal and took him to bed with me.

Uh oh. I know what you’re thinking. And, I KNOW. I’m teaching him to co-sleep. And it’s not like I can THEN get sleep. Because the little GLOMMER insists on clinging to me like a monkey to its mama….

Photo, with thanks, c/o Jornic.

Hmph. Cheaty little monkey. Not only am I tired, but I’m also STIFF. Because once he finds the perfect CLING, there’s no moving for either of us for the rest of the night — or he wakes up and struggles forEVER to find the next perfect CLING.

Anyway, even though I’m DEAD TIRED, and even though my day was full of annoyances like HELLO SOMEONE STOLE MY DAUGHTER’S SHOES (who steals shoes from a THREE-YEAR-OLD), it was overall a good day.

Know why? Because even though I was DEAD TIRED, and someone STOLE MY DAUGHTER’S SHOES, I still went to my friend Courtney’s house. She, too, is a mother of two little monkeys (same age as mine). And, there we were, laughing and crying together — at motherhood, at how hard it is, how funny it is, how we (as Court pointed out) CHERISH THAT 3-SECOND WALK AROUND THE CAR AFTER WE’VE BUCKLED BOTH KIDS IN AND WE ARE OUTSIDE SANS THEM, AND THANK GOD FOR PARKING METRES BECAUSE WE CAN JUST LEAVE THE KIDS IN THE CAR WHILE WE BUY OUR TICKETS AND IT’S, LIKE, OH IT’S LIKE A MINUTE OF HEAVEN….

Even though I may fantasize about going back to work. Being a stay-at-home mom is what I do. It’s not what I AM, but it’s what I do. It’s my job. A very demanding job. Exhausting job. Often thankless job. But, it IS what I do, and I like to think it’s what I do best.

And, it’s a WORK IN PROGRESS. There are ways to make these winter days better. Like sharing the misery getting together with other moms and laughing at ourselves. And, as we laugh, we find ourselves admiring and laughing at our kids and how UTTERLY CUTE they are. And, we realize we were never in fact alone. That we have each other to lean on and confirm that we actually are ALIVE. That we can be a stay-at-home mom AS WELL AS who we ARE.

The best part of the playdate? The trade secrets. Courtney taught me the BEAUTY of Winter. The nights, Gorgeouses, they start early. So, in Courtney-esque fashion, I put my kids to bed at 6:45 tonight. And, ahhh, bliss. Ahhh, SHORT DAY.

Wish me luck getting sleep tonight! And, seriously, thank you for your amazing, supportive comments yesterday…. I can’t even tell you how much I appreciate them and how much they helped me today.

Love! xo Haley-O

Okay, SPLITTING PYKFH (post-Yom-Kippur-Fast headache). So, this is going to be brief.

JUST a quick shout out to my DEAR friend in real life, JENIFER-LYN…. Here we are at tonight’s breaking-of-the-fast feast (my still-ginormous boobs fit PERFECTLY under hers…):

And, no, I’m not pregnant. It’s half the shirt and half the NURSING weight that’s making me look preggers here (there and everywhere). I’d call it pregnancy weight, but, let’s face it, HE’S A YEAR OLD. But, since I stopped nursing — 4 days ago — I’ve dropped a WHOPPING 5 pounds. Let’s hope this trend keeps on keepin’ on!

Jen-Lyn surprised me with very beautiful gifties that I HAD to share with you. Even though I’m going to HURL from this HEADACHE…. She’s a VERY gifted potter:

Aren’t they just GORJ? She made them FOR ME! FOR ME! How special does that make me feel! She said she made the “Beauty” plaque because “I’m beautiful, even though I don’t think so”! Honestly? Fahklempt. Jen is one of the most real people I know. And, she and I relate on a very special, rare level. Love!

Speaking of GORJ…. Look at Monkey’s breaking-of-the-fast outfit! Does she look like a little DOLLY, or what!?

You don’t want to KNOW what a BYOTCH it was getting her dressed with NO food or water in my belly. BLERRRRRRRRRRRGH! (BTW, did you notice Rascal’s lil cheek in the bottom left corner? Eeeee!)

I love Minden….

He yawns a lot actually and, like Jenifer-Lyn, is also a gifted potter………

Last thing before I TRY to sleep with this splitting headache…. My cutie-petutie dancing cousin MILES! WAS NOT IN THE BOTTOM THREE ON SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE CANADA!!! GO MILES!!!

Okay, splitting headache has now graduated to full-on migraine. Ahh, that Yom Kippur fast is BLISS.

Love!
xo Haley-O