I haven’t had sugar (at least not consciously) in over a week. Except for that teensy amount of ketchup I put in the peanut sauce I made from scratch the other day, which my kids hated. Boooo.

I haven’t eaten much wheat in over a week. Except for those sprouted-grain Ezekiel breads, mmm, with some hummus or Daiya (vegan) cheese on them.

I haven’t really eaten after 8 p.m. Except last Friday night because they had no vegan food at my daughter’s religious schools’ “mandatory” Shabbat dinner. Only half the school showed up, so we are officially suckers. But, it’s OK because the Monkey was thrilled to be there and, quite frankly, the magician was fantastic, and it was interesting to see some faces from, ohhh, 20 years ago! No one ages any more….

I haven’t eaten anything too fatty in over a week.  Except last night, when Josh and I went to Disgraceland for dinner. He had a massive burger that I tried not to make eye contact with, while I ravenously scarfed down my magnificent vegan Caesar salad and vegan nachos (omigosh).

After dinner, we went to the Comedy Bar and laughed for two hours at the hilarious Sklars Brothers show. Here’s a photo of Josh (wearing contact lenses for the first time in 25 years — he thinks he looks bizarre) with Jason Sklar, whom you may recognize from Curb Your Enthusiasm, Entourage, CSI and a buch of other stuff — really nice guy….

Jason’s other half, Randy Sklar, got stuck in Minneapolis, so they did their act via skype — hilarious!

It’s been ages since I went to the yoga shala…. I drive by there on my way to work, and I always hope to see someone walk in or out the front door. I miss everyone! But I need my new lifestyle to set in before I set any more goals. And, unfortunately, I seem to need to lose this weight before I feel comfortable doing yoga anywhere but here at home.

It’s been a week since I started practising yoga at home and exercising. I’ve been dancing a lot with the kids to my favourite radio station, working out with a video, walking the dogs, skating with the kids….

Yeah, It’s been a week since something finally snapped. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I started feeling really low in energy. All I wanted to eat was crap and sit on my couch. And my clothes just kept getting tighter.

So far, I’ve definitely lost a little weight, and people are telling me I look great all the time. As my naturopath, Tara Campbell (who’s helping me along this journey), said, the changes are coming from the inside — so it’s not new makeup, as people have suspected! I’ve just been drinking a lot of green smoothies and eating whole grains, legumes and veggies — all good stuff. Except for the nachos. But, you know, moderation….

OK! Off to NYC to meet my new nephew! This one-day trip will definitely be a challenge, diet wise. But Josh is now on a diet too, so he’ll help me. Besides, I may treat myself to Starbucks, since I can’t bring my blender with me, and one chai, in a different country, totally does not count.

Check out my Oscar fashions roundup, which is, by the way, the reason this post is a bit suckage (late, late night, FTW!)….

Love!

xo Haley-O

But just like I now get on the yoga mat each morning (thanks to persistent, available, compassionately whip-cracking teacher), I’m getting on the keyboard and writing this evening.

Yoga for writers: Do your writing, and all is coming….

Lately I’ve found myself thinking a lot about who on earth I am. I’ve had so much going on: my first TV appearance, celebrity interviews, and more and more celebrity interviews and two trips to New York in just over a month and trips to the cottage and work and…and…and…and family.

And my family, though last on that list of “so much going on,” is at the forefront of my thoughts all the time. When I pick up the phone to Jessica Alba’s very sweet voice, it occurs to me how close in age the Rascal is to her daughter. Does she want to know how much my son will love Spy Kids? Or how the Monkey loves the Little Mermaid, too? She has a Little Mermaid “babing suit”….

She turned six last week. SIX.

Gosh, and I’ve been blogging here since she was 8 months old….

We threw her a fairy birthday party. Tinker Bell flew in and blew the Monkey away. She stayed much longer than she was supposed to (thankfully), went up to the Monkey’s room with all the girls, ate cake with us, took pictures. The Monkey hugged Tink for dear life when it was time to say goodbye. She really believed….

With so much going on, when I hang up the phone with Jessica Alba, when I leave work for the day, when the TV camera switches off and I’m wondering how I did, when I’m standing on my head at the yoga studio, when I crawl into a foreign hotel bed, I am all about my kids.

“Ooo, look at the upside down rainbow!” — my brother and his wife taunt me when I practice yoga at the cottage….

From the moment I crawl out from under the Rascal in the morning, to the time I pick them up from camp, they’re in my thoughts — emerging and retreating as my focus on other things waxes and wanes. How are they doing at camp? Is the Monkey wearing her hat? Is the Rascal asking his counselor for “Mama”? Is he eating his snack? What will we do together after camp? Hair cuts? The “fairy store”? The park?

I’m thinking about my family. That’s who I am. And I’m thinking about career and life and what I’ll make for tomorrow’s lunch when I finish writing this post. I’m thinking about my dharma.

Last night I dreamed of a cave and a guru. Another guru dream. There were no answers, nothing full or finite. Just open arms and a smile.

Love….

xo Haley-O

For the record, I totally gave a sh**. I could have stayed at that cottage for another week, month, year. Time ticked too fast. Because look….

And look….

Closer….

Look….

Look….

Look….

Look….

So….

Many….

Dogs….

That’s Olivia (above). She’s deaf. Betty White sat and barked at her for ages trying to work her up, and Olivia didn’t flinch.

We got there Wednesday afternoon, and I worked until 2:30am. And then I rested and totally, completely enjoyed myself and my family the rest of the time. There were just a few mini bites of anxiety due to, ALAS, potentially some JURY DUTY in my future. I say “potentially” because I just learned this morning that I may be able to get out of it. Since I only work until 1pm and don’t have childcare in the afternoon, AND Josh will be out of town on business, I may just be excused. And, hello? I better be. Because I can’t even watch Law and Order. That, and my “summons” takes place during Rascal’s 3rd birthday — and he talks about his birthday EVERY DAY. He want’s Lightening McQueen to come to the party….

Yeah, I know….

Aside from my jury jitters, I’m a little wordless today. Look….

…

…

…

I’m just so relaxed after my cottage adventure. My glass is full, you know? And I’m enjoying the buzz. Without words.

Who gives a sh**?

Love!

xo Haley-O

I learned not to take my kids into ANY of the wax museums because there will be FREDDY KRUEGER. A less terrified-of-Freddy blogger would insert a photo here.

I can’t deal.

I learned that the incredibly beautiful Falls give good mist. My skin was oh-so-dewy!

I learned that there IS a city in this world that doesn’t have a single vegan morsel to eat — I mean other than a soggy salad fit for gargoyles (they tried!).

I learned that Frankenstein and Dracula ARE ALIIIIIVE….

I learned that I’m “the coolest chick, yeah you are!” Check this video, Gorgeouses. I took it just for you. These two lovelies were sitting at separate tables, and, apparently, when we sat down to eat, my big hat was blocking his view of her. So I took my hat off, and their love was set free…. After he bought her a glass of wine, loudly, she whispered, “why don’t you come here?” He didn’t want to leave his buddy (who, you’ll see, can do a mean chair dance). So, she went over to him. I had to get them on video, just for you. Forgive my total geekiness. I was having fun….

So you see. I have proof. I. Am the coolest chick, yeah I am. Hee. They did let me put their video online. I always ask permission (because I’m coo like dat) — hence my URGENCY: “SAY IT FOR THE PEOPLE!” *Cough.* If they only knew….

I learned that when you least expect it, some people can be a total HOOT. Love.

You can just ponder that all with this lovely view of Niagara Falls, and more.

This vid’s a little less exciting (which says a lot), but more beautiful. Mind you, there is some uninteresting conversation showcasing my only slight (alas it’s true) tendency toward ditsiness, which the voyeur in you might like….

Love!
xo Haley-O

The BlogHer conference can be a little overwhelming at first. I remember last year: I got in to the hotel, looked around the lobby at little groups forming, listened to the echoing “squeeee”s, and then I ran up to my hotel room and just stayed there for a bit. I think I must have changed three times: went down in a green shirt, went back up to my room, came back down in a black shirt, went back to my room, and went down again in a different black shirt, and finally started saying some hellos.

I’ll be okay. I just take a while to acclimatize.

I’ve actually been in NYC for a few days now (after a lovely few days in the country). We stayed at a hotel in Brooklyn — right across the street from the JAIL. Talk about JEEBIES. We walked alongside it, and a car drove by with a bunch of SCARY-looking dudes yelling up at the barred windows: “YO JOOOOO! YOOOO! JOOOOOO! JOOOOOOOOOO!”

JEEBIES!

My family and I spent the day in Manhattan yesterday, walking along the sweltering streets, past one-too-many crackheads and a sunglass store at which I purchased these babies….

I was in mid-sentence at the time of this picture-taking, FYI. They look a little big on the sides, but it’s just the angle (I hope). I went in thinking — “I will not buy mom-glasses, I will not buy mom-glasses.” Success, I think!

So there’s that. And this….

Betteh White in NYC! It was VERY hard to leave her this aft….

OY!

Gotta go. Party at the Canadian Embassy. Promise I’ll start being more social.

LOVE!

xo Haley-O

Plus, I’ve been getting up early in the morning. I mean, really early. Before I started working at Today’s Parent I used to drag myself out of bed as late as humanly possible — I was exhausted from writing late, I mean, really late, into the night. Now, I’m dragging myself out of bed as early as humanly possible. Why? The answer is threefold (I just said that with a Spanish accent, FYI):

The First. Because I want to get to work by 8:30am.

The Second. Because THE RASCAL slows me down — he’s beyond stubborn and demanding in the morning. I sense the beginnings of lower-back pain because, you know, he sleeps on top of me, and, then, the minute I wake up to start on The Third, he’s up, too….

The Third. Because I’ve decided I want to get in shape, I’ve been walking for half an hour every day before work. Only the complications around this fold are twofold:

The First. The Rascal freaks out when I leave the house so early. He needs to drink from his sippy cup and rub my back for at least half an hour before we get out of bed. (So, I wake up even earlier…for the back rub…the awesome back rub.) #highmaintenance

The Second. The dog. I have to take Betty White with me on the walk, or else I have to walk her again later, and there’s no time for that, as you can see…. But, the problem is, she’s a reluctant walker. The vet who lives down the street has never seen such a thing — a puppy who doesn’t want to go for walks. Of course, it deserves pictorial elaboration….

Betty White at the beginning of the morning walk:

Betty White during the walk:

She basically runs as fast as she can to get home the entire time. I know this because she gets even faster on the way back. Silver lining? Makes for an awesome pacer….

And it’s not just the morning walks. Here’s Betty White at the beginning of our family walk later that day….

Underbite.

When we came home from Toy Story 3 that same night, it was pouring rain. Josh had to drag her outside, of course. Imagine that. I don’t have a great picture of Betty White refusing to walk in the rain. But I DO have a picture of Josh-O carrying the only umbrella we could find (which is even better)….

I know once I get used to this routine, and the morning “swamp smoothies” (that my co-workers were gagging at this morning) start kicking in, I’ll be able to do this, or to do more, or be less mushy — inside and out.

Oh, and I’m on Day 2 of quitting chai lattes…, again. At this point in my chai-quitting career, quitting alone is enough to turn my brain to mush. A thousand fold.

Goodnight!

Love! xo Haley-O

When we were little we tried to make a language out of knocking on our bedroom walls after bedtime. I think we got from 1 to 6 knocks. For the life of me, I can’t remember what any of those knocks signified.

I hope my latest voice note worked. I said: “You’re a nerd. G’night. F** off.” Hold on a sec. Let me check.

I think it worked. Oh, there she is. Dara and I — the only two people on the planet who don’t own iPhones. And so we send each other voice notes. She better not get an iPhone, or I’ll have no one to voice note with.

At least for now, I don’t DO iPhones. But, I said the same thing about Facebook not long ago, didn’t I…? “I WILL NEVER!!!!!11″ I’m not a hypocrite. Just a pushover. Still, I don’t know about the iPhone with these thumbs of mine — which, I hereby declare, from now on are to be called “Megan Fox” thumbs instead of “toe thumbs.”

…Just noticing the funky toe thumb-lengthening diagonal-nail-polish trick she’s done there. Hmmm….

I’m going to bed. Well, I have one more Celebrity blog post to write, and THEN I’m going to bed.

Truth is, I’m writing like a dog for work. Like THIS:

Her underbite’s so big she can’t kiss you without scraping you with her buck canines…. It’s awesome.

I love all this writing I get to do for work, but I admit I’m drained. With all the Junior Kindergarten and Preschool end-of-the-year parties, the running running running, grocery shopping ONCE a week (what IS that?!), I’m drained. Drained of ability to string words together in intelligible sentences past 10pm. Remember when I used to blog at 3AM? The days FROM HELL when Rascal was a baby and the Monkey was just over two? OMG. Well, that’s physically impossible now. I guess that’s what happens when you’re 35…….., and, in all fairness to myself, ahem, when you’re all-of-a-sudden working again AND taking care of the kids in the afternoon, AND then working nights, and eating like crap, you’re entitled. No?

So I’m going to go easy on myself tonight. I WILL not edit this post after I press publish. I’ll let it go. Into the amazing infinite non-space that is the Internet. Goodbye, post. Hello voice notes. Gotta go. mysisterCANNOThavethelastwordBYE!

LOVE! xo Haley-O

I just ate a slice of raw vegan strawberry cheesecake from Live. It’s yummy, but a little too walnut-y. Someone snuck a cheaty little taste before I could slice into it.

There’s a family of cardinals living in our backyard. Deep inside this tree….

It’s rare that you see a female cardinal, you know. But we see the mama bird all the time. Isn’t she beautiful?

I watched the daddy cardinal feed the baby — beak to beak. Amazing. Needless to say, Betty White’s not allowed in the backyard when the birds are hunting. I hardly want her near MINDEN….

(legs….)

(she wears short-shorts….)

In the course of writing this post, my children have come down the stairs four times.

The Rascal and I went on a moonlit midnight walk with Betty White just last night….

Tonight he’s wearing a Paul Frank T-shirt and bathing-suit shorts to bed. I asked him why he was wearing bathing-suit shorts, and he said because “I yike to, Mama.”

The Monkey says “babing suit” instead of “bathing suit.” and I like it better. Really. Otherwise the Monkey’s quite articulate.

I took Monkey, Rascal and Josh-O to the office the other day to retrieve the whatchamacallit I dropped down the elevator shaft in front of an elevator full of men — all heads bobbed as the whatchamacallit bounded off the elevator ledge and into the shaft (plop). Facilities went down, way down, and got it for me.

This is what they did at 4pm on Father’s Day….

Josh-O’s a great dad. Too bad he doesn’t read my blog. Or is it? If he did read my blog, I wouldn’t be able to call him a nutball, or tell you about the astronomical parking ticket I got illegally parking in front of Starbucks the other day — which I totally just quit, again, just now — now would I? He’s laughing at me right now because I couldn’t figure out that my whatchamacallit thingy I dropped down the elevator shaft is called a “parking pass.”

This morning, at work, I wrote about Kim Kardashian’s cleavage of the buttocks. When I took breaks, I spun around in my chair and looked at the great view by my desk….

Did you know ornithology is the most popular hobby in the world? Loved One told me when had brunch at the hospital yesterday morning. Apparently heard it on the radio.

I remember. I always get poetic — Yoda — on you when I’m talking about something personal I can’t blog about that’s very serious. So. In hospitals, I have been.

Someone I’ve been calling “Loved One” or “The Patient” on twitter has been very very ill. Loved One is very private. So I won’t even reveal gender to protect cherished privacy.

On Monday, I spent 8.5 hours in the hospital waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Then, I spent 5 hours in ICU while they set Loved One up there.

There was one little thing that made my day, I remember. One little thing that may raise this blog post from the depths of darkness and obscurity. Aside from the surgeon finally walking into the waiting area to tell us the surgery was over, and how miraculous Loved One is, I remember this….

When you’re (temporarily) missing a front tooth, and you just spent 8.5 hours in surgery, things like this mean so much, or a welcomed nothing-at-all.

Come to think of it…, maybe it’s that falafel that made me THIS SICK. I swear, I have FEVER right now. Freezing…am. Through the ringer, have been.

I can’t remember ever being this exhausted. Even giving birth came with the excitement and adrenalin of a new baby that masked the exhaustion…. Today, my body won’t let me eat. Freezing.

But everything’s okay. Love One is out of ICU and looks a lot better today than yesterday.

Loved One just called me.

On the phone.

I’m glowing. As bright as Yoda’s sword glowing am!

Also green…. In knots and pain, stomach is.

But called. On the phone. My heart.

Love! (and THANK YOU to everyone for the support.)

Haley-O xo

I know my brother won’t want me to post a photo of his new baby boy on the blog — party pooper! So, instead, I give you this photo of the Monkey’s favourite baby doll, “Marshmallow,” lying in yet another one of her curiously concocted beds/worlds….

Congratulations, Mark and Sabrina! He’s beautiful! (9 pounds!!!)

NEW DOG….

Betty White continues to thrive in her new home with us. Having spent the first 5 months of her life in a high-rise condo, she probably didn’t get out much. You should have seen her last night, when I took her out to look at the moon. (Yes, I did.) WOAAAH….

NEW JOB….

Gorgeouses, you’re now looking at the new “Editor/Writer” at Today’s Parent.com!

I can’t even begin to tell you all the cool things I’ll be doing at Today’sParent.com — except to say that it’s so exciting. And, happily, I’ve been able to arrange it so my kids won’t feel a thing. Although, come to think of it, they’ll definitely wonder why mom’s not sleeping in to the last minute any more! And something tells me they’ll love that….

As many of you know, I’ve worked extremely hard since the Monkey was a baby. Blogging every day until recently, come hell (prenatal depression) or high water (screaming, sleepless babies), and it’s paid off. Not only am I now working at one of Canada’s most respected parenting magazines, but, I have to tell you, when I was young(er), I used to dream about writing for Chatelaine and Flare. And, would you believe? I’m working in the very same offices with them? I’ll be walking by the glitzy clothing racks on my way to my desk. How glam for a “couch writer” like me! And, I’ll actually be contributing to these magazines, as well, I’m told. All this, and I never got all the way through The Secret….

To top it all off, there’s my manager. Her name’s Hailey, too — clearly, she spells it wrong, though. She and I clicked the moment we met. But, want to hear what a big dork I am? I sat in HER chair when I went in for my interview! She’s still laughing (hysterically) about it. I’m just starting to get over the embarrassment.

I must say, motherhood has been, among other intense and amazing things, perhaps the most creative time in my life — brimming with opportunities, and with friends.

It’s a new adventure, Gorgeouses! And it starts TUESDAY.

LOVE!

xo Haley-O

P.S.: Your questions/comments have prompted me to add this wee addendum: I’ll be writing/editing online.  So, by all means, SUBSCRIBE to TodaysParent.com!