I didn’t take a lot of photos. I also didn’t take a lot of breaths. At one point, on the second night of the conference, I couldn’t hold back tears, and I ran up to the hotel room and cried. Yes. I did. But when I forced myself to lie down, pick up my novel and just relax, I felt better. (Awesome book, by the way.)

That’s when I realized I hadn’t taken a single break that day. While I may seem outgoing and (at times even) natural in social settings, inside I’m often anxious and tense. I’m really as shy as a turtle.

I need to make time to crawl into my shell and just collect myself for a bit — otherwise, I’m just all over the place. If you caught me JUST before I broke into tears, you would have thought me boring and spacey in a withdrawn sort of way. If you caught me AFTER the tears, you would have thought me just a weeee bit spacey and gullible in a Three’s Company‘s Chrissy sort of way….

Despite the social anxiety issssues, I had a great time. I partied HARD. And I haven’t done that in a long time. Those friends of mine, they dragged me out at a whopping 9pm for dinner and drinks, not at a quiet bar down the street from the conference hotel, but a longish cab ride away to the Lower East Side of NYC. The 15 of us (ahem) piled into an already PACKED bar in which there were men in plaid button-downs standing on the bar taking photos and swigging beers. Kind of like the gorj Miss Daniela Syrovy here in the green (with some seriously awesome and hilarious ladies — Joanne Acri, Theresa Albert and Emma Waverman [who's either yawning or showing off her FAB Martha-Stewart-party "ring" craft])….

…who stood up on a chair in her fab green dress and took this pic of all most of us….

Can you see the social anxiety on my (distorted) face? Hmm, maybe not, since by then I’d had a glass of wine (it doesn’t take much). Look at all the lovelies! Where to start? Let’s see, next to me, Corinne, Nadine, Rebecca, Brandie, Rebecca, Emma (sweet WILLER), Maureen, Cora, Lianne, and Tracy. The only person missing in the photo, if I’m not mistaken…, is Ms. GREENERS, who earlier that night did THIS….

Her fab keynote speech moved us all to tears…. Here’s a link to all the Voices of the Year keynotes, including Karen’s. LOVE!

Despite the short and very therapeutic cry, the conference was an amazing experience. I got to meet a lot of my online friends in person, and I got to hear some incredible, inspiring people speak, including “international activists” who risk their lives blogging and make a real difference…for all of us.

Another really rewarding and memorable part of the conference was meeting LINDSEYJAY and SANDYEL! They met each other through MY BLOG! They’ve both been commenting here since the dawn of Cheaty Monkey, pretty much, and there they were, ROOMIES in NYC. Can you say FAHKLEMPT! I need to get a picture of the three of us, HELLO? Picture, anyone? FAHKLEMPT.

[PLACE PICTURE OF LINDSEY, SANDYEL AND ME HERE]

I left the conference early, alas, because I had to get back to work Monday morning — and we drove to NYC. When I got into the car, I was greeted by a very-desperate-to-see-me THIS….

She covered me in kisses — like I HAVE NEVER. It was good to be back….

And I’m back! When I got to work this morning, I found this month’s issue of Today’s Parent on my desk. Look for a feature on my CELEBRITY BLOG on p. 22 and on the “What’s on the Web” page, and, again, my name in the masthead (much to my mother’s delight!). FUN! My spoofy PINK article on Celine Dion will occur in the October issue.

How was YOUR week?

Love! xo Haley-O

Credit: Photo of turtles by cygnus921.

I just spent about an hour sitting with my legs up on my suitcase just people watching and waiting for Emma to arrive with the keys to our hotel room. Familiar thoughts rolling around in my head: “WHY am I here?” “I could totally just bolt!” “Is that…?” “Should I say ‘hi’ to her or just turn the other way because it’s, like, 1000 degrees in here and I’m schvitzing and not ready, I mean, ‘hi’ can wait…we’re here all weekend.” “WHY am I here?”

The BlogHer conference can be a little overwhelming at first. I remember last year: I got in to the hotel, looked around the lobby at little groups forming, listened to the echoing “squeeee”s, and then I ran up to my hotel room and just stayed there for a bit. I think I must have changed three times: went down in a green shirt, went back up to my room, came back down in a black shirt, went back to my room, and went down again in a different black shirt, and finally started saying some hellos.

I’ll be okay. I just take a while to acclimatize.

I’ve actually been in NYC for a few days now (after a lovely few days in the country). We stayed at a hotel in Brooklyn — right across the street from the JAIL. Talk about JEEBIES. We walked alongside it, and a car drove by with a bunch of SCARY-looking dudes yelling up at the barred windows: “YO JOOOOO! YOOOO! JOOOOOO! JOOOOOOOOOO!”

JEEBIES!

My family and I spent the day in Manhattan yesterday, walking along the sweltering streets, past one-too-many crackheads and a sunglass store at which I purchased these babies….

I was in mid-sentence at the time of this picture-taking, FYI. They look a little big on the sides, but it’s just the angle (I hope). I went in thinking — “I will not buy mom-glasses, I will not buy mom-glasses.” Success, I think!

So there’s that. And this….

Betteh White in NYC! It was VERY hard to leave her this aft….

OY!

Gotta go. Party at the Canadian Embassy. Promise I’ll start being more social.

LOVE!

xo Haley-O

Oy, look at how mature her little hand is. FIVE. The Monkey’s five years old tomorrow (Wednesday, July 28). FIVE.

She was only 8 months old when I started writing this blog. It took a little tinkering, but I ended up naming the whole thing after her.

I’ve been calling her “Cheaty Monkey” since she was a wee 2 days old. After an hour of breastfeeding her, I’d catch her very convincingly pretending to feed so she could stay on my breast forever. Then I’d say, “you cheaty little monkey!” Anyone who heard me call her that would laugh. So I thought, a name like that might scare some readers away, but it’s me, and it’s her, and it’s making people laugh. So there it was. Cheaty Monkey. Totally inspired by my now five-year-old. FIVE!

I also called her “Ruby Tuesday,” for some mysterious reason (still do). But it never occurred to me to name my blog that…, fortunately. Whenever she did something really silly or funny, I’d hold out my arms and say, “RUBY TUESDAY!” And then I’d clobber her with kisses.

Can you believe this blog was once called “A Blog of Her Own” and then, ack, “Halespace”? Yes, Gorgeouses, it’s true! Thankfully, and soon enough, I realized that the perfect blog name, my very inspiration, was right in front of me, scootching on her bum all over my living room, all over the floor at Starbucks and, I remember distinctly, at the baby-camp-that-shall-not-be-named. (Remember that? No hard feelings. I should have known better. I was young….) Man, did that scootch make people laugh….

The monkey inspired this space, Gorgeouses; she inspired me to pursue writing. Is this sappy enough? Wait, I’m not done yet! I hope (and pray) I can inspire her to pursue her greatest passions….

And here we are celebrating her 5th birthday together. FIVE.

In honour of her birthday, we had Sleeping Beauty herself entertain the Monkey and a lovely bunch of mini princesses last weekend….

And, as you can sort of see in that photo way above (the princess figurines were quickly swiped before we could get a photo!), we got the perfect pink peanut-free cake from my friend Fran from Frantastic Treats. (Alas, I totally added 5 pounds of that CAKE to my butt!)

Tomorrow we celebrate some more. We’re having a party at it’sgrandma’s house, and the Monkey’s bringing fancy cupcakes to camp with her. Not just any cupcakes, mind you. These cupcakes are apparently ALL NATURAL. The lady at the bakery told me: “Yes,” she said, “they’re all natural — the Oreo cupcakes are made of real Oreos.” Heh.

My Cheaty little Monkey, HAPPY BIRTHDAY. You are, as you were from Day 1, AMAZING and HILARIOUS and ADORABLE and RIDICULOUSLY CREATIVE and SMART and BEAUTIFUL and CHARISMATIC and CHEATY — a cheaty, cheaty little monkey. And you continue to inspire me every single day, you magical, sparkly, precious little princess!

I love you. Five! Five! FIVE! Happy Birthday!

Love!

xo Haley-O

I’m struggling a weee bit to keep my head above water. In a good way, though. Like, today, I’ve been busy having a blast over at — *drum roll* — CELEBRITY CANDY, my new celebrity blog at TodaysParent.com! We’re working on the format a little, so you will see some awesome changes soon. But, it already feels like HOME.

Some of you remember I gave up celebrity blogging after Rascal was born because, well, something had to go. But, as soon as I started my first Celebrity Candy post just yesterday, it felt like HOME.

Of course, you won’t find much celebrity snark from me. I’ve always been a bit of a goody-two-shoes when it comes to celeb blogging (except for that darn Worst Celebrity Feet post that brings hundreds of visitors here every day — gahh!). And Today’s Parent likes to keep things positive. So we are, indeed, a match made in heaven — laaa!

What else? I’ve also been busy writing tons of articles. I honestly haven’t written this much since grad school. And, again, all this writing feels like HOME.

Want to check my stuff? I promised I’d keep you posted. Here are the latest online articles by me (on MSN and/or TodaysParent.com):

1. Help My Kids Are Out of Control

2. Bringing Sexy Back

3. How To Dress Like a Hot Mama This Summer

4. Still Carrying the Baby Weight?

Stay tuned, too, for my first PRINT article — in the August issue of Today’s Parent!

THAT’S what I’m up to at work. And more. And more. And more. More later, including très cool pics of the office that I’ve been meaning to share for, like, weeks now!

Love!

xo Haley-O

NEW NEPHEW….

I know my brother won’t want me to post a photo of his new baby boy on the blog — party pooper! So, instead, I give you this photo of the Monkey’s favourite baby doll, “Marshmallow,” lying in yet another one of her curiously concocted beds/worlds….

Congratulations, Mark and Sabrina! He’s beautiful! (9 pounds!!!)

NEW DOG….

Betty White continues to thrive in her new home with us. Having spent the first 5 months of her life in a high-rise condo, she probably didn’t get out much. You should have seen her last night, when I took her out to look at the moon. (Yes, I did.) WOAAAH….

NEW JOB….

Gorgeouses, you’re now looking at the new “Editor/Writer” at Today’s Parent.com!

I can’t even begin to tell you all the cool things I’ll be doing at Today’sParent.com — except to say that it’s so exciting. And, happily, I’ve been able to arrange it so my kids won’t feel a thing. Although, come to think of it, they’ll definitely wonder why mom’s not sleeping in to the last minute any more! And something tells me they’ll love that….

As many of you know, I’ve worked extremely hard since the Monkey was a baby. Blogging every day until recently, come hell (prenatal depression) or high water (screaming, sleepless babies), and it’s paid off. Not only am I now working at one of Canada’s most respected parenting magazines, but, I have to tell you, when I was young(er), I used to dream about writing for Chatelaine and Flare. And, would you believe? I’m working in the very same offices with them? I’ll be walking by the glitzy clothing racks on my way to my desk. How glam for a “couch writer” like me! And, I’ll actually be contributing to these magazines, as well, I’m told. All this, and I never got all the way through The Secret….

To top it all off, there’s my manager. Her name’s Hailey, too — clearly, she spells it wrong, though. She and I clicked the moment we met. But, want to hear what a big dork I am? I sat in HER chair when I went in for my interview! She’s still laughing (hysterically) about it. I’m just starting to get over the embarrassment.

I must say, motherhood has been, among other intense and amazing things, perhaps the most creative time in my life — brimming with opportunities, and with friends.

It’s a new adventure, Gorgeouses! And it starts TUESDAY.

LOVE!

xo Haley-O

P.S.: Your questions/comments have prompted me to add this wee addendum: I’ll be writing/editing online.  So, by all means, SUBSCRIBE to TodaysParent.com!