“Oh, I’m sorry! My name’s Nick. I’m a reporter out here in Santa Monica, and I just finished up an interview with Julia [Child] for our paper out here.”

I was really going to have to get my phone number unlisted.

“I’d like to get your thoughts on some things. Because I asked her about you, and frankly, she was kind of a pill about it. Is this a bad time?”

“Oh. No. It’s fine.”

When I hung up the phone five minutes later, I felt numb.

…I sat on the couch beside Eric…. “That was a reporter from California. He just interviewed Julia. He asked her about me. She hates me.” I giggled, like I do in these breathless situations. ”She thinks I’m not respectful or not serious or something.”

…Eric put his arm over my shoulder. “What is she, ninety?”

“Ninety-One,” I sniffled.

“See? She probably doesn’t have the first idea what a blog is.“

…”I don’t know. Maybe she thinks I’m taking advantage or I’m — I’m not –” I was taken surprise by a sudden rush of tears. “I thought I was — I’m sorry if I –”

And then abruptly I was wailing….

–Julie Powell, Julie and Julia, pp. 333-334

So there was a Simon Fraser University Masters thesis written extensively about me and seven other “mommybloggers” (grrr…). I heard about it yesterday, of all places, when I was sitting at Podcamp TO, listening to a panel discussion, of all things, about what happens when social media goes wrong. My heart started pounding when I heard — my face turned beat red, palms sweating, hands shaking.

I’m used to people responding to my individual posts in the comments, on twitter, even on email. I’m definitely not used to someone reading my blog from start to finish, making gross assumptions based on posts here and there, and then publishing these gross assumptions and frustrating misreadings in a thesis — both offline and on — and not telling me about it, even after the fact.

At first I was furious. And I definitely (over)reacted on twitter:

I got really upset that The Thesis wasn’t in fact about the “works” themselves or the genre of blogging, as indicated in The Thesis’ abstract, and that, rather, it was about our lives, our income, whether or not we love that our children are away (for 2.5 hours, hello) at preschool, and so on. When Danigirl sent me the abstract (which was all I could see for hours until I got home to open the pdf file that contained The Thesis), I was a little flattered and excited. To be studied in the context of Bakhtin’s Dialogic, for example, and to be categorized as “Canadian Women’s Literature,” was so cool. Bring it on!

But, when I opened the document and searched my name…, I was floored. All those assumptions about all sorts of irrelevant stuff. It hurt. Bad.

I think the thing that bothered me most was when The Thesis writer suggested that I may have contrived how I started blogging in the first place. I told the world that Ali Martell introduced me to blogging when the Monkey was 8 months old, and that’s the truth — no questions asked. But, according to The Thesis writer, I “contrived” this bit in order to appear flippy and erratic or whatever. In another post, she ingeniously discovers, I mention that Jennifer Lawrence, who happens to be the author of the blog MUBAR (which no longer exists), helped me out when I was clinically depressed while pregnant with the Monkey. (And, by the way, an article was written about my prenatal depression and published in some major psychiatry journal — APA? — and, you betcha, the author asked my permission even though they used an alias and I’d never find it in a million years!). Yes, Jen Lawrence helped me, but it was OVER THE PHONE. I didn’t know she had a blog, or what a blog was.

Why does this bother me? Because it’s an insult to my integrity as a blogger. SURE, I might exaggerate things — for entertainment’s sake — here and there, and less so these days. But I would never flat-out lie. I would never “contrive” something. To me, that’s the ultimate insult to a blogger.

Somewhere, way out yonder in the internet ether, there’s a great old email conversation in which Ali reveals to me, “I HAVE A BLOG,” and to which I reply, “WHAT’S A BLOG???”

Anyway.

Whatever. I’m really okay now. I’m flattered that I’m in an MA thesis, even though the reading of “me” is false and unflattering for the most part. As you can see on twitter, I felt beyond violated and uncomfortable when I first read the thesis. But, I haven’t looked at it since, and I’ll never look at it again — and I feel better. And I can laugh at the broad assumptions, as I’ve also done on twitter:

And, this one….

Oops, how’d that tweet get there? (Disclosure: CONTRIVED.)

Here, see I can make light of The Thesis writer’s totally unfounded statement that I am the most “affluent” of all the bloggers (if she only knew!?):

Should the student have contacted me? It would have been the nice and, I think, scholarly thing to do.

Do I blame the student? Do I “hate” her SORT OF like Julia Child hated Julia Powell? No. I’ve done a Master’s Thesis, and I know how difficult that can be on several levels. This writer wrote the thesis in 2008. She’s obviously young, likely not a mother. There I go assuming, though….

As with all controversies surrounding “mommyblogging,”  people are now taking the opportunity to troll thoughtful posts on the subject and preach about the ethics of “mommyblogging.” We’re putting ourselves and our kids out there for scrutiny and misinterpretation, so apparently we should just suck it up, not react, and just plain expect this. But, surely we’re allowed to “giggle” or “wail.” On twitter?

Know what happened to me today? I went to Starbucks (shut it — I’m not affluent — I got a card for Valentine’s Day). Rascal and I sat beside a woman who was typing on her mini laptop. When she got up to leave, she said:

You know, I’ve been watching you, and you’re a wonderful mother. I see the way you talk to him and look at him, the way he looks at you. And I don’t see that all the time, unfortunately. It’s amazing to watch you. And I’m a therapist….

That compliment, that observation of ME, was so beautiful and so welcomed given my current frustration. And, so often, my readers and fellow bloggers, whether in comments, twitter, or email, make me feel THAT good with their genuine, caring feedback and friendship.

You can’t read a blog and claim to know the writer. As I stated several days ago on twitter,

You can’t judge a blogger by his or her blog. It’s not a novel. It’s its own genre. One absolutely worth exploring at an academic level.

If you’d like to see a copy of The Thesis, just contact me — which is easy to do for the record….

Love!

xo Haley-O

It’s hard to write a blog post with a cat on your lap. I think that’s one of the reason’s I blog less often than I used to. That, and twitter, and my seasonal anti-socialness. Yes, beloved Macbook, I know “socialness” is not a word but, according to you, either is “macbook.” There’s such a thing as poetic license, you know. And thank you for helping me spell “license.” It’s one of those words I never know how to spell. That, and “exercise” and “occasion,” and “judgment.” Reminds me of how it took me the longest time to notice the spelling of “schedule” — why not “schedual”?

I so think I’m Aristotle right now — ruminating on the little particulars in life and in the mind…. Because I just read this FABO (I know, not officially a word but whatevs) novel all about Aristotle and his student Alexander the Great….

Yes, I read Annabel Lyon’s The Golden Mean. It was my T-Dot blogger bookclub choice. Aside from the animal experimentation and dead-soldier dissection — Alexander the Great was a wee bit CRAZY (crazy but HOT, apparently) — this was the most relaxing, enjoyable book I’ve read in a long time.

If you loved The Tudors and Rome TV series (LOVE LOVE LOVE), you’ll love this book. Lyon takes you RIGHT out of the 20th century, and into Aristotle’s mind — an insatiably curious, innocent, self-questioning, seeking and apparently bi-polar mind.

If you love ancient philosophy, you’ll love this book. Lyon’s (historical-fictional) contextualization of Aristotle’s works makes his theories so much more accessible than your philosophy professor ever could. If only this book were around when I was taking philosophy exams. I had so many “AHA!” moments — or, should I say, “EUREKA” moments!

If you love ancient history, you might, as the author puts it in her acknowledgments, “turn purple” when you read this book. But I was okay with that.

If you love a little erotica in your reading, you’ll love this book. I’m not sure I ever needed to imagine Aristotle’s sex life. But, it was cool to learn how his second wife taught him that there is, indeed, such a thing as a female orgasm. EUREKA!

At Book Club last night, we didn’t talk much about the book. Probably because we all had different levels of interest in Aristotle and his philosophy. I wanted to talk about the significance and treatment of TRAGEDY and CATHARSIS in the book — but I was once a post-graduate philosophy major. AND WE WERE TIRED. AND WE WANTED TO CUPCAKES…. Check ‘em out!

I set them up in my fancy cake plate. Ooo, did I mention I entertained? I ENTERTAINED. I never entertain at my house. EVER. I chose the book; I hosted the SOIREE. But, I think I did ok! What do you think? Check out the table….

Fresh veggies and hummus….

Chips and dips, and fancy NUTS — total HIT — from my fave food store, Organic Abundance — presented in a GORJ clay bowl handmade by BFF Jenifer-Lyn Terner….

And various grains and bean dishes, etc., etc….

And I dressed up my 5-pound LIGHTER bod….

Getting there…! (I’m getting my haircut TOMORROW, woohoo!). And I wore my fancy slippers….

And I had a great time with my bloggy buddies — like the fabulous and brillers KAREN….

…and SANDRA MAMALOOPER….

Lovelies KITTENPIE and BLITHELY BABBLING don’t show their faces online. But I managed to get a picture of Kittenpie’s lap….

And, of course, the “unwonted guest”…. The Monkey LOVES Mamalooper…. Here she is trudge-trudge-trudging BACK upstairs for the fifth time (I saved her a cupcake, of course)….

It was a FAB party, if I do say so myself. Several peeps in the club couldn’t make it, so it was low key. We drank mint green tea, instead of wine. I turned on the fireplace and gave Mamalooper a blanket to cozy up in. They left after 11pm. I went to bed happy.

Then, today, the Monkey barged in on me when I was in the shower, yelling, “THAT’S MY MAMA!” Let’s just say her playdate, Jill, got an eye full….

THIS MONTH’S BOOK: Sara Gruen’s Water for Elephants.

Thinking about the people in Haiti today. A great place to donate is here –  http://freethechildren.com/.

LOVE….

xo Haley-O

I didn’t get to take a picture with her at blogHer ’09. I had asked her to take a picture with me — because LOVE — and then someone interrupted us. She is so freaking LOVELY that she waited for me to finish the conversation. And, then, what do you know, my camera broke. I’d dropped it. I fixed it eventually, but I never got that picture.

But, I did get that beautiful smile of hers, plastered in my mind.

Anissa suffered a stroke yesterday. Her family and the entire internet world have been praying for her and her family.

I will be praying. I will be donating.

The one thing that stands out for me about Anissa is that she SOUNDS exactly the same as she tweets and blogs. She is THE REAL THING. She’s been through enough already. She didn’t need this; her family doesn’t need this. And I’m praying hard. And my heart is pretty sunk right now.

Click here for information on how you can help Anissa and her family, now with updated P.O. Box information.

Click here for updates on how she’s doing.

Click here to go to Anissa’s Caring Bridge page.

I was the only person in my entire book club of 12 Toronto bloggers who liked, nay LOVED, Australian author Christos Tsiolkas’ latest tome The Slap.

Maybe it was the exhilaration of it all — the exhilaration I felt when I flipped the final 483rd page of the book exactly one hour before I had to drive 45 minutes to Denguy‘s house for the monthly meeting last night. Maybe it was the 483ish times the author used the c-word (or not, since I don’t think I’ve uttered the word in my entire life). Maybe it was the sexy-hot Hector, the icy cool Aisha, the sweet sympathetic Richie. Maybe it was that tiny detail, when teen-aged Connie gave her friend the stink eye for throwing a cigarette butt in the bushes: “It would end up in the sea. [Connie] got up from the bench, picked up the butt and put it in the side pocket of her backpack.”

Or maybe I’m just a dark and twisted horndog.

But the book won the 2009 Commonwealth Writers’ Prize for Best Book. Are the Australian literati, then, also dark and twisted horndogs?

I don’t know. Why don’t you read it, and let me know what you think. THEY hated it. I loved it.

And yet I wonder if I would love ANY book right now. Because reading is such a LUXURY for me these days.

So, I suppose if there’s any time to read the new Tori Spelling book, NOW would be the time?

Yes, I’m so grateful just to be READING again — to relax and escape for a while, even into Tsiolkas’ dark and twisted world of horndogs, a world totally removed from my own. Maybe that’s why I loved it.

It was a good escape. And a good accomplishment. 483 pages. Unlike changing diapers and waking up in the middle of the night to get the monkey WATER, I didn’t HAVE to read it. But I did. And it felt GOOD.

On to our next book club book, The Suspicions of Mr. Whicher — chosen by Ms. Mamalooper, who has returned to blogging after, ohhh, 6 months’ hiatus. But, FIRST, a book of my own choosing (for, yes, my goal is to read TWO books this month). It’s a book by one of my favourite authors, highly recommended by my mother….

I can assure you there won’t be a single c-word in this one, and I will still love it.

And I can’t wait to get lost in it. Tonight. I hope. After I put the kids to bed, and wash the dishes, and write tomorrow’s bTrendie email alert, and write three articles, and answer 483 emails.

I didn’t expect this birthday to be as wonderful as it was. Especially since last year’s was a total bust: the kids wore me out so badly that I spent the afternoon in bed crying. I cry when I’m exhausted. I also cry when I start to think I’ll never have another real birthday again.

I think it was the phone calls that started before I even woke up this morning, and the emails and the tweets, MY GOD, the tweets. I’ve never felt so loved and celebrated. Best birthday EVER! THANK YOU?! I LOVE YOU?!

Each tweet, email, phone call was a gift.

As for me, I bought myself a sterling silver shark pendant for my birthday — in support and honour of Torontonian Rob Stewart and his award-winning movie Shark Water….

Like it? I’m not a fan of the black faux leather part, so I’m thinking I’ll get it beaded into my chakra necklace. Yes, I’m getting weird(er) in my old age. But, you love it, and it will be HOT — trust me. I’m talking HOT. Like, Matthew Morrison hot…GLEE!

Now, as you know, I’m a nature/animal lover. And, it’s my experience that when you give to nature, nature gives back. I know, weird. But, DON’T GO. GET THAT FINGER AWAY FROM THE MOUSE. STEP AWAY FROM THE TOUCH PAD. (I adopted a pig from WSPA’s WILD GIFTS, too, btw, because LOVE…). GET BACK HERE IT’S BEAUTIFUL I PROMISE! Nature gave me a birthday gift. First thing this morning, I stepped out my door and saw this:

Do you see it? Isn’t it awesome? Closer? Okay…. Gimme a sec. Okay, here:

The Spider — nature’s artist, weaver, writer — gave me this. The camera doesn’t begin to capture the awesome beauty. I’ve never seen anything like it. So perfect, magical.

35′s going to be a good year.

That’s me and my chakra necklace at dinner with Josh-O. After dinner, we went to see The Hangover and laughed our elderly arses off.

Love!

xo Haley-O

Guess who went out with some fabulous bloggers Wednesday night? Give up? ME. I know, you never would have guessed. First BlogHer, and now TDOT book clubs. I am SO OUT THERE. No longer hiding behind my screen pressing keys, drinking chai. I am OUT THERE. And I love it. I love meeting bloggers because — would you believe? — they are just like me. Well, we’re all VERY different, but we’re all the same in the sense that we’re (for the most part) a transparent people, sensitive, inquisitive, definitely quirky, and we love a good story.

It’s been about, OHHH, four years since I’ve read a book. When I was pursuing a PhD in English lit (COUGH), I often asked myself WHY THE HECK DO PEOPLE READ. I wracked my brain to find the answer. I was such a kid back then. I had no idea. I really didn’t. Because now, the answer is easy: people read to RELAX, to broaden their horizons, to enjoy language, to escape, step into someone else’s life and gain perspective on their own, etc., etc.. As soon as I picked up this month’s book, Loving Frank, by Nancy Horan, my old “why do people read” question was answered.

And then I googled the real-life people this book is about: Mamah (pronounced “Maymah”) Borthwick and Frank Lloyd Wright — lovers in a dangerous time. And, BOY, did I regret it. What was at first so enjoyable THWACKED me with anxiety for the full week or so it took me to read the book. (Remind me, WHY DO PEOPLE READ?) So, if you’re going to read it — which you should because it’s BRILLIANT — don’t google, or DO google and appreciate the freakin’ irony the whole way through.

Talk to me in a few months when I’m over it. The big question in the book, which you can all ponder, is “would you leave, ‘DESERT,’ your kids for love — for love of a ‘genius’?” NO! NEVER! NOT EVER. Not even in 1909. And I can say that for certain even though I’m in 2009. FOR CERTAIN.

And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

Petitegourmand, who truly is PETITE (adorable), officially brought me to the TDOT BOOK CLUB when she approached me at the gym last month — just after hotarse kickboxing instructor’s class: “Are you Halley? Haley? Ho? Haley-O?” Hee. We clicked immediately, of course. Bloggers often do that.

Look how CUTE in her swanky studio kitchen….

Not only is she petite, but GOURMAND…. Look at this FANCY!

And then there are the OTHERS….

And they are going to kill me for posting this terrible picture. But that’s NOMO with eyes closed in the blue (ha!), KAREN dipping, the “token” BOY DENGUY looking frightened in the back there, and SANDRA barely visible in the back mid sentence. I didn’t get ANY great photos of the group because I was drinking vino. But, missing from this pic, a whole lot of bloggers: Kittenpie, B*Babbler, Mad (all the way in from New Brunswick), Lisa B and, via twitter, Sandra and Julie (with new baby! CONGRATS!). Whew! That took a long time. Tired.

We had all the best intentions….

…but there was so much ELSE to talk about (so much). In a nutshell, some of us hated Mamah. Some of us hated Frank. Some of us thought Robert Downey Jr. should play Frank in the MOVIE, and others thought John Malkovich. We all loved the book. We all loved a night out, away from the kids, with interesting blogging peeps and, of course, BOOKS to caress and flip hands through.

The next book on our list is another heavy one (wish me luck): Burnt Shadows, by Kamila Shamsie — an apparently very “ambitious” book. I was going to read a light Candace Bushnell novel in between these heavies, but I could barely open the book. Besides, PetiteGourmand told me to read The Thirteenth Tale, by Diane Setterfield, and she and I are petite hotarse-kickboxing-teacher-loving twinz, so I listens. I hear it’s AMAZING. Am excited.

And, now I leave you for a day or so, as I drive avec ma petite famille to the country house where we’ll be for a week while big BURLY man with black belt in karate cat sits for us. I’ll still be blogging and working, and definitely reading, and NOT drinking chai lattes because there is NO STARBUCKS in sight for, like, TWO HOURS. And LORD HELP ME if I drive two hours to get a chai…. It’s been known to happen.

I wrote this whole post in my underwear.

Love!

xo Haley-O

It started in the lounge at BlogHer. “DID SOMEONE SAY TIM GUNN IS HERE?” “TIM. GUNN.” “WHEN IS HE COMING?” “DOES ANYONE KNOW WHEN TIM GUNN IS COMING?” “WHERE WILL HE BE?” “bTrendie, WHO?” “WHERE AM I?”

I finally figured out he was going to be at the Tide Booth on the BlogHer Expo Floor. I cried a bit when I realized I was going to have to miss Jenny the Bloggess‘s panel to meet him — DAMMIT — but, she and I talked about it and agreed that seeing TIM GUNN was a BlogHer priority. (And, FYI, I still get to catch Jenny’s panel liveblogged at blogher.com. Sweet. See, you CAN have your cake and eat it, too. Mmm, cake.)

I started crying as soon as I GOT IN LINE to see Tim Gunn. There were about 30 people in front of me, and I was convinced that I was Tim Gunn’s #1 fan. Until the girl in front of me whipped out her Project Runway DVD ready for Tim to sign…. Then, I wasn’t sure if there was maybe a tie for first.

I was a little embarrassed that I was BAWLING in line, at BlogHer, waiting to see Tim Gunn. Because I’m by no means a fashionista. INDEED, I was wearing Lululemon yoga pants and running shoes with a semi-nice shirt. FAUX. PAS. But, something tells me Tim didn’t notice.

Immediately, when he saw me, teary-eyed and muttering “Animals. Thanx you for the animals,” he grabbed my hands and we got to serious talking.

See, as everyone (EVERYONE) in line that day NOW knows, Tim isn’t JUST a fashion guru, he’s an animal activist. One of the FIERCEST (Tyra Banks FIERCE, that is) kind. Yes, he tirelessly works with PETA to teach the fashion industry and all the world about the cruelty of the fur and skin industry.

He claims that ANIMALS are “Fashion’s Worst victims” and fights hard for them by teaching design schools and the world’s most famous designers how their fur makes it to the design table. (The link to his very graphic video — which will make you quit leather, I warn you — can be found on my sidebar, IN my Tim Gunn index of posts. ahem. LOVE!)

In our moments together, he repeated “we have to stick together!” to win the fight for animals. And he took my business card…. He told me one of the designers on the upcoming season of Project Runway tried to use fur in one of the challenges, and that he REEMED the designer so bad the incident had to be cut and edited so that Tim didn’t look like a total psycho (I paraphrase). There is no fur permitted on Project Runway.

It was a moment to remember. And I showed THIS to everyone — especially to him, and her, and her…, and rambled on and on AND ON to the poor things about TIM….

APPARENTLY, he wrote “Make It Work!!” on everyone’s photo (even on his other #1 fan’s photo — I checked). But, on MINE, he wrote “THANK YOU FOR MAKING IT WORK!!” Even in my lululemons, bad hair and running shoes, Tim Gunn said I make it work. I. MAKE IT WORK. IMAKEITWORK. Awesome.

Awesome.

Seriously, to meet someone who does SO MUCH for a cause I don’t frikken EAT for (vegan)…? Precious! Precious.

Precious.

I LOVE YOU TIM GUNN!

Sigh…. It was as good as the 6-foot PYTHON I held on my shoulders in Spain five years ago. The tingles stick around for days. Weeks.

In other news, I’m a CHAIR PERSON! Yes, I’m chair of this incredible bTrendie Power Mom Advisory Board:

From left to right, top to bottom: Kristen Chase, Tracey Gaughran-Perez, Amanda Hill, Liza Sabater, Jeneane Sessum, Lisa Estall, Halley Suitt, Denise Howell, Leslie Flinger, and ME!

I may be the chair of this awesome board, but that doesn’t mean I’m the boss of them, FYI, because LOOK AT THEM. They are totally the boss of me. TOTALLY. I just lead the phone calls, craft the agendas, and work with each talented member individually to get the most out of her unique expertise.

Why am I telling you this today, you ask? BECAUSE TODAY WAS THE BIG REVEAL! All week, I’ve been working feverishly with the bTrendie PR team to get the word out about this great group of women and what they’re doing for bTrendie. I took Baltimore and Boston, saturating their media peeps with deets on our new board. Here’s the release, and the bios of all these awesome women — CHECK IT! How COOL is this?

Advisors Help Shape User Experience and Sales Events for bTrendie’s
Private Shopping Community

New York – August 4, 2009 – bTrendie™, the mom-approved shopping community that features trend-setting products for baby and mom at up to 60% off, has named its advisory board of online Power Moms. The board will provide a mom’s-eye view that furthers bTrendie’s mission of providing members unrivaled access to mom-approved products within an exciting, engaging, and informative community.

“We are inspired by these accomplished women and honored to have the benefit of their experience as we focus on growing our business and expanding our service,” said bTrendie Co-Founder Emily Rayson. “The passion and creativity of our advisors — combined with their range of expertise in business, technology, blogging, fashion, law, and, of course, parenting — gives us the inside story on what our members expect, and how we can best exceed those expectations.”

The following members comprise bTrendie’s all-star team of Power Mom advisors:

Kristen Chase is the author of the popular weblog Motherhood Uncensored and writes Mominatrix, a featured column at The Imperfect Parent. Her first book, “The Mominatrix’s Guide to Sex” will be released in December 2009. Kristen is also Publisher and Chief Operating Officer of Cool Mom Picks, a cheeky product and service review blog, and Principal at Parent Bloggers Network.

Lisa Estall is a busy mom blogger with two children under the age of 4. She maintains two blogs, Mogul Baby and Mrs. Mogul. Lisa’s career background includes working in television and film in NYC. She currently writes about pop culture and the latest baby and parenting products at Babycenter and Babble.

Leslie “Flinger” has been blogging personally for six years at what she now calls The Little Black Dress Edition. She owns and is the lead developer at Catapult Web Development and holds a Masters Degree in Information Technology. Mrs. Flinger is a self-professed nerd, over-shares at Room 704 and Seattle Mom Blogs, and can be found tweeting as @MrsFlinger. She is a wife, mom of two, drinker of wine, and lover of sexy code.

Armed with a blackbelt in sarcasm, Tracey Gaughran-Perez writes about her life at SweetneyMamaPop. Tracey is a PhD dropout and ex-college professor turned parental unit and internerd blogger. She adores Jon Stewart, Indie Rock, science geekery, and underdogs in all their various incarnations. and about famous people’s lives at

Amanda Hill is a freelance writer and blogger from Kentucky who writes for her own blog, Shamelessly Sassy, as well as contributing to several others, including Babble’s Droolicious and AOL’s Lemondrop. The mother of a sassy four-year-old redhead, Amanda is a lapsed vegetarian and an avid shopper.

Denise Howell is a technology lawyer, blogger, columnist, and hosts this WEEK in LAW on TWiT.tv. Denise created one of the first law-oriented weblogs, Bag and Baggage, and writes for The American Lawyer and CBS Interactive. Her expertise on emerging technology and law has been recognized by The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Wired News, The ABA Journal, The American Lawyer, and others.

ME! is queen of the slash factor – a mom/writer/blogger/consultant/art dealer/freelance writer & editor, and yoga teacher. In addition to her love of chai lattes, Haley blogs at Cheaty Monkey, contributes to Canada Moms Blog, and promotes art for kids at Kids Deserve Art. In her spare time, she shares her observations on Twitter as @Cheaty.

Liza Sabater is founder of two of the most influential political blogs in the United States, Culture Kitchen and The Daily Gotham. Liza was rated in the top 10 of last year’s Now Public MostPublic Index, a list of the 50 most influential individuals in New York’s new media market. She has been a guest on CNN.com TV, PBS’ NewsHour Online, and others. When she is not blogging or evangelizing, Liza returns to her secret life as her boys’ gym and basketball mom in New York.

A netizen since 1997, Jeneane Sessum is a social media pioneer. She started her personal blog Allied in 2001, and launched Blog Sisters, the first woman’s group blog, that same year. Jeneane was a founding Advisory Board Member and Contributing Editor for BlogHer and has been featured in Business Week and The New York Times for her insights on social media. She blogs on these topics at Jeneane.net and tweets as @Jeneane.

Halley Suitt is the CEO of Wellness Mobile, a start-up with offices in Boston, MA and Mountain View, CA. She was CEO of Top Ten Sources where she acquired the social media fashion site, Stylefeeder. She is a NASM Certified Personal Fitness Trainer and a long-time blogger, having launched Halley’s Comment in 2002. Halley has been an advisor to TotSpot, Club Mom (now Café Mom), and a keynote speaker at BlogHer. She wrote the first Harvard Business Review case study on blogging and has appeared on Oprah.

Aren’t they GORJ? LOVE! Each and every one of them.

There you have it. Longest arse blog post in the HISTORY of blogging. Complete with Tim Gunn, Mom Bloggers, PETA, and Oprah. I may have to take a few days off after this one…. Maybe.

Pssssssssst! If you want to GET IN to bTrendie.com to check it out. You’re ALWAYS welcome. Indeed, as Director of Membership and Community, I frikkin IMPLORE you. Heh. Don’t let the invite code scare you. Just enter code CHEATY, and have fun!

LOVE!

xo Haley-O

This post should probably be FIVE posts and not one (edit: two). But, if I don’t do this now, get it all out NOW, it might get away, and I might never write it. So it has to be done. All of it — even though eyes are still half shut from all the drinking, dancing (oh yeeeahhh), late nights and CONSTANT schmoozing (I HAVE NEVER). When I went to the grocery store today, I checked EVERYONE out and wondered…”DO I KNOW YOU?” Because that’s what you do the WHOLE time at BlogHer. You are constantly asking, “Do I know her?” “Is that? NOOO. YES! Better go say hi! Or, not.” It can make you a little insane. Total culture shock. Anyway, onward!

I ARRIVED…. Chicago is a GORJ city. Much like Toronto — only, they have peeps who, like, take your garbage to the DUMP! TO THINK! Gah.

I felt really out of place when I got there the first day. I DID hide in my room for a bit because the whole thing was so overwhelming. But, then I changed out of my yoga pants, put on my HOT PANTS and gladiator heels, and I was good to go with head held high. Note: I wore my yoga pants and running shoes the ENTIRE rest of the time.

Believe it or not, I hung out with SO many Toronto peeps!

Like, Ms. Emma Willer — because, you know, Where there’s a WILLER, there’s…A WAY — hung out a lot. Here we are experimenting with our self-portraits at lunch. CHIN UP?

OR, CHIN DOWN? We can’t decide which is more flattering….

OR, the torso shot at the Saturday-night cocktail party by the waterssss. GORJ…. (This post does not adhere to chronological order because I’ve come to terms with the sorry fact that I’m a tragically circular thinker. I just don’t DO linear — in case you haven’t noticed BLAH BLAH, omg, THE TANGENTS.)

I just love me some down-to-earth peeps! Speaking of which…. Some KARENMEG!

And some sweet lovely CARING-for-my-overwhelmed-soul KATIE MOTHERBUMPER!

Ma girl MANDY GRATTON! (We took this pic ourselves.)

And, the DON MILLS DIVA Kelly Graham-Scherer IN THE FLESH — who, by the way, made one fine KEYNOTE. Go girl! PLAYDATE (I’m holding you to it!)

And, of course, the woman who got me blogging in the first place, Ms. AliMartell — my old friend and co-worker at that big ole red publishing company….

Yes, it seems you have to go to CHICAGO to hang with your Canadian peeps (even though Ms. Martell is moving to Atlanta AS WE SPEAK!).

I met SO many awesome non-Canadian’s, too, of course! A highlight for me was meeting one of the first bloggers I ever loved. AMALAH! If only…to have…that ARM! She’s GORJ! And SWEET! Loooove!

AND, she probably thought I was stalking her at the Mamapop panel…. But, no. I just smile A LOT. Am COMPULSIVE smiler. But, I DID get a pic of another fave peep of mine, Jodifur, and Amalah’s little boy EZRA! OY!

(Jodifur doesn’t like this pic. And she DOTH look GORJER in real life than in this pic — but OY. EZRA. Had to share.)

And, the one-and-only 6-months-preggers fabtastic writer and person MEGAN JORDAN. LOVE! Love love. Really. I loved hanging with her, and…

and…, AND…. I loved GOING ON AND ON AND ON to her (and to the amazing adorable NEILOCHKA) about — WAIT FOR IT! — TIM GUNN (look at my sidebar posted WAY before BLOGHER! BIGTIME CELEBRITY LOVE)!

I met him. I met Tim Gunn at BlogHer. “We need to stick together,” he tells me….

To be continued….

Make it work!

xo Haley-O

P.S.: For the full photo debrief, check my flickr #blogher09 stream! Enjoy!

P.P.S.: It’s The MONKEY’S 4th Birthday today! FOURTH!!! Happy Birthday, Monkey! I love you….

As you can see over there in my sidebar, I’ve entered a big bloggy BEWB contest: BEWB FEST ’09. Go on, check all the gorj bewbs — ‘specially MINE (#44), keeping in mind that that is one heck of a MAGICAL camera angle and a DAMN good bra. Heh. Or not…. Yeah, go on and vote for me, please, and then come back and let me explain. MWAH!

Thank you….

Okay, so. Why would I — CHEATY!? — enter a contest like this. I, who enjoys feminist philosophy WHENEVER I GETS THE CHANCE (most recently at my latest Canada Moms Blog post on the WAHM/WOHM debate. I’m BIG PIMPIN’ again, eh?!). Some peeps have actually asked me WHY WHY WHY would I enter such a contest, and they’ve said they won’t vote or be involved whatsoever in such objectification and judgment of women because we get enough of it already in every-day life.

Okay. I get that.

But, let me tell you something. FIRST of all, this is ma girl LOTER we’re talking about — the FABULOUS Sarcastic Mom, Lotus Caroll. When Loter asked me to submit me bewbs, I was like, HELL YA, I JUST HOPE JOSH-O AND HOWARD STERN DON’T MIND IF I FLASH MA BEWBS ON THE INTERWEBS…. But, then The Loter told me this was a CLOTHED contest. Phew!

So anyway. I LOVE the idea of a bewb fest. As a self-proclaimed feminist (in my own way), I believe showing our bewbs when and if we want to, and especially in this kind of celebratory (really NOT judgmental) fashion, is a GOOD thing. Is a FEMINIST thing. I think back to when I was a teenager with larger-than-average bewbs. I was SO uncomfortable walking down the street. I’d always get hoots and whistles (both real and in my head) that made me want to go home and crawl under my bed. And I feel SORRY for that teen-aged Cheaty. I had a beautiful body, and I was ASHAMED of it.

I don’t want my daughter to have those feelings, that shame, about her own body.

These days, my body’s nowhere near what it once was. I was size ZERO back then; and now I’m size ****.  I had perfect B-cup bewbs. And now I’m — wait for it — size DD. When I was breastfeeing, though, I got as massive as size H! So, again, HELL YA!

But, I’ve been ashamed again of these ginormous DD knockers….

And what better way than a BEWB FEST like this to challenge my shame. To get me flaunting instead of hiding. FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE.

So, THANK YOU, LOTER! And thank you, GORGEOUSES, for helping me — as ALWAYS — beat my shame and go forth on my ongoing quest toward self- and bewb-acceptance.

P.S.: You can vote EVERY DAY! You know you want to….

Love!

xo Haley-O

I am sick as a dog. If you’re following me on Twitter, this is old news. I’ve been sick as a dawg for, like, 4 days already. This CAN’T be The Swine. It’s just a BAD (i.e., B.A.D.) head cold, complete with fevers and pains everywhere — worst of all in my jaw, making it excruciating for me to hold my mouth open just to BREATHE.

I probably SHOULDN’T have gone to the Bunch Family Dance Party on Saturday — to celebrate the launch of Canada Moms Blog. By the way, have you seen my latest post there yet — where I get very close to controversy again, but tread MUCH more carefully this time, so help me GOD. We all know I don’t DO criticism, so why DARE I invite it?? MIND YOU, I was just listening to THE Erica Ehm on my favourite radio station this morning, and SHE said that if everyone loves you, you’re boring. That made me feel better…. And, by the way, and speaking of which…, did you hear the Canadian Olympic team REFUSED to wear seal fur on their uniforms (after Canadian parliamentarians proposed it) to protest the European Parliament’s ban on Canadian seal-fur products? HOLLAHHH! And, here’s a cute video with typical great Canadian humour LAUGHING at the proposition that the team wear fur and demonstrating that most of us Canadians (over 60%), in fact, do oppose the hunt…. I care. I really really really freakin’ care about this….

And, by the way, how do I get my little Rascal to stop HITTING everyone. Feeling as carpy as I do right now, the LAST thing I need is all this HITTING me in the achy head with a metal toy school bus. ARRGH.

AND, by the way, I now have 2 cats on my lap…. Here’s Meeno (aka Minden, of course)….

MWAH!

ANYWAY! Happy Mother’s Day to all the MOMS out there — including moms of pets (this is your day, too, Gorgeouses!). I spent the day in bed, freezing and then sweating and then freezing and then sweating. It was awesome.

This post is all over the place. I’m too sick to write coherently. Hopefully, I’ll be better tomorrow. So, we’re just chatting today, right? This is aiight, right?

So, as I started saying earlier…. It’s kind of exciting! I actually went to a blogger event this weekend to celebrate the Canada Moms Blog official launch! Now, I SHOULDN’T have been there with this DREADFUL cold. But, I KNEW if I didn’t show up, everyone would think I copped out — because who can REALLY tell if your sick from behind your computer screen. I NEVER go to blog events (because I sort-of made this deal with myself early on that I’d stay behind the screen), so I KNEW that if I didn’t go, they’d all think I wimped out and wasn’t committed. But, AM COMMITTED. LOOK HOW COMMITTED. I went to the event SHVITZING with fever!

Again, don’t worry, it’s not The Swine…. (Although I cannot IMAGINE being any sicker than this…!)

So, the party was well worth going to — even sick as a DAWG. (Bunch sure knows how to throw a PAR-TAY!) I hung out with some of my favourite bloggers! SWEET Katie ~ Motherbumper, the one-and-only Her Bad Mother Catherine Connors, Sandra from Mamalooper, Emma Willer from (I love this…) Where there’s a Willer…, and, last but NOT LEAST, my good ol’ friend Ali, of Cheaper Than Therapy whom I haven’t seen in MONTHS (because I am a BAD FRIEND, BAD!).

I really didn’t get enough pictures. Mostly because Rascal was clinging to me FOR DEAR LIFE for the first hour and a half of the party. After that, he warmed up and started running to the middle of the dance floor and, erm, dancing!! It was so adorable. I was so proud….

I also didn’t get enough pictures because it was just too much work for my sick self to keep digging my camera out of my bottomless purse…. It was also too much work for my sick self to say NO to Monkey getting a cotton candy — which, I (and my strong opinions!) think has to be the grossest excuse for candy ever invented….

You know you’re sick when…you let your daughter eat COTTON CANDY. Ew. I managed to steer the Rascal away from it with COOKIE….

Best of all, I think, has to be the picture Monkey drew at the party. I HAVE to share it….

Yeah, Happy Mother’s Day to ME. I’m the big POTATO in the middle of the picture. Rascal is the hilarious sad thing on the left (seriously? how funny is that?), and Josh is on the right…. Just when I was feeling SLIMMER (after a 5-pound weight loss, courtesy of being SICK AS DAWG), Monkey draws me LIKE THAT? A big fat potato. Oh man….

Okay. BACK TO BED.

Happy Mother’s Day, Gorgeouses!

Love!

xo Haley-O

If you haven’t already, go check CHEATY GOODIES for our EMERGENCY PREPAREDNESS contest. Only Canadians are eligible for this one, but (again) the post and video will make everyone think.