Things are heating up at New Job. I actually had to drop Monkey off with Mary Poppins New Nanny after school today while “Mama went to work.”

Monkey: And Dada’s going to stay home?
Me: No, Monkey, you have a nanny now so MAMA can go to work, too.
Monkey: Can I come with you?
Me: No, Monkey, you have to stay with Rachel. But Mama will be home REALLY soon!

I got home about 2 hours later, excited about New Job and about the experience of going way DOWNTOWN (i.e., not just downtown, but WAY. WAY downtown) to CHICHI restaurant not far from the office.

I guess I must have been REALLY hungry after all these DAYS AND DAYS of being SICK AS A DAWG. Because I scarfed down my food — a vegetarian wrap — and took what I couldn’t finish (because had to leave early to rescue nanny) to go. I TOOK THE REST TO GO. I don’t like wasting food, but I never imagined myself taking food home from a company lunch…. Ahem.

I did manage to talk while scarfing, though. A lot. Something comes over me when I’m in unusual situations. I’m actually quite shy. But, put me in a room full of new people and I’m LOUD and giggling and TALKING TO EVERYONE.

You’d never guess I’m shy as [insert clever metaphor, i.e., a mouse? Albert Einstein? Carrie Underwood? -- ALL SHY]!

Minden, on the other hand, is NOT SHY in any situation (and, no, this is not a gratuitous kitty picture — it is perfectly called for)….

That was Minden doing his best Adam Lambert….

Speaking of which….

I LOVED Danny Gokey this entire season of American Idol, and it was A GOOD season — the best in a long time….

But, after his breathtaking performance of Kanye West’s “Heartless,” I fell IN LOVE with Kris Allen. And so will you when you see for yourself….

…Okay, how CUTE is he????

So, anyway, as I was saying…. I’m more THRILLED that Kris Allen is in the finale than I am depressed that Danny Gokey is GONZO. Because Danny will be FINE. He has more talent than most of the Idol winners before him, and he’s got so much charisma, and he’s got THE STORY (his wife died shortly before the competition — “TRAGEDY TO TRIUMPH,” as he says). He’ll be FINE. And, personally? I blame Paula and her DIPPY song choice for Danny’s demise.

ERGO, Americans? Since I can’t vote, you’re going to have to vote FOR ME. And, since you can’t vote for Danny, vote for Kris Allen — and those quirky adorable faces he makes when he hits the high notes. OY!

I digress. A lot. As usual. It’s kind of my thang. When you come here, you learn to expect digression. And gratuitous kitty pictures….

So, I am loving New Job. I am loving chichi lunches and challenges to my shy self. I DO need new shoes, though, now that Josh-O and it’sgrandma have staged an INTERVENTION: no more winter boots. I am no longer permitted to wear my winter boots…, or they will have me committed.

Okay, this was fun, Gorgeouses. BACK TO WORK.

Have you checked Cheaty Goodies for the WINNER of our Emergency Preparedness contest?

LOVE!
xo Haley-O

Someone fell asleep on the way home from yoga…. WHILE he was eating his snack….

Oy! Anyway, I got a JOB, Gorgeouses! I’m a working girl. I mean, I’ve always been a working girl — between the yoga teaching and the Kids Deserve Art, and the freelance writing. It’s endless really. And, I don’t know how I do it, no.

But, this is a real job. People are, like, depending on me to do great work. I’m excited and a little nervous and totally passionate about the project — not least because the people I’m working with are amazing and enthusiastic and passionate.

I’d love to tell you more about it, but I can’t AT THIS TIME. You’re just gonna have to wait a WEE bit longer. But, I’m telling you, it’s worth it. This is TRES coo….

What I CAN tell you, though, is Mama’s got some HELP with the monkeys now. I scored myself some good part-time help so I can maybe have some time to actually, you know, work.

The ONLY problem is…is… this….

Tigger. She’s way fat. And she INSISTS on lying on me WHENEVER I turn on my computer. In fact, WHENEVER I sit down ANYWHERE. I can’t tell you how frustrating this is, especially when I’m in a time crunch (i.e., ALWAYS). Sigh. She’s on my lap right now. UGH Don’t get me started on those claws…. AAAARRRGH! I think she just farted.

Can we talk about Kris Allen for a minute? How the heck did he pull off “She Works Hard for the Money” on American Idol last night? And how did he win me over last week after I couldn’t BE BOTHERED with him ALL the weeks before — except to say he’s ADORABLE? Here’s Kris blowing me away last week with “Falling Slowly”….

I love LOVE Danny Gokey. But, now, MOVE OVER DANNY! Well, no. Danny’s number one. But, Kris is inching closer EVERY WEEK. “She Works Hard for the Money” — hello? How? What? Are you KIDDING ME? WHERE did he COME from!? Awesome. And HOTT.

When Josh first held our son RASCAL in his arms, I can TELL you, as Brody Jenner says (and OMG, I am 34 years old and quoting BRODY JENNER), FOR ONE HUNDRED PER CENT FACT that Josh-O did not picture the two of them doing THIS together….

Calico DOLL HOUSE! Check how into it they are….

Note to self: BLACKMAIL Rascal with this later (already blackmailed Josh-O, but he refused to give me his new iTouch, so there!).

I take pictures of squirrels….

Isn’t he GORJ?

Gorgeouses! Speaking of squirrels and GORJ, Happy Earth Day! I want to REALLY celebrate today. Because this beautiful Earth of ours deserves to be honoured and celebrated and thanked. And, honestly, I never felt as strongly about Earth, nature and animals until I had children. I want more than anything for my children and their children to have a HEALTHY Earth, clean water, clean air, TREES, ANIMALS….! I want it so badly that I get obsessive and overly passionate, as you know…. I pick up garbage off the street, yes I do. I recycle EVERYTHING, including stray water bottles on the street — always figuring somehow they’ll end up in the ocean (LOVE OCEAN). I try to limit the amount of garbage my family produces. I EAT NO MEAT — and wouldn’t it be great if everyone just ate a LITTLE LESS meat? Don’t worry, I won’t get started! And, of course, Ifeedtheneighbourhoodsquirrels….

Indeed, my hope and passion for this planet was revived most recently, when I went to Bermuda and saw some of Earth’s truly AWESOME beauty….

And, way to go Disney! This Earth movie looks positively stunning, and inspiring. Enjoy the trailer….

Happy Earth Day, Earth! May our carbon footprints soon start to fade and you flourish for millenniums to come….

LOVE!

xo Haley-O

I never know what I’m going to find when I check on Monkey at night. Tonight took the cake, though. AGAIN, a BED full of stuffed animals AND a bed full (and head full) of little teeny weeny STATIC-Y styrofoam balls that she found in a fake gift box (not worth explaining).

Bed….

And floor….

And teeny tiny styrofoam balls that I made her pick up one by one. “This is not going to be acceppable, Mama,” she says….

Of course, I helped her. Of course, I did most of the cleaning up. Because, of course, I have twittering to do, and Part Two of The Bachelor: After the Final Rose to watch…. And, OH CARP, thanks to this photo, I now see someone went to sleep with those freaking “hair fings” on her wrist. The last time she did this her hand turned purple. Be right back.

Back. And it was nothing. She took the “hair fings” off and put them on Uniqua‘s wrist…. (Not worth explaining — but Uniqua’s an INSECT. She’s totally an insect, no matter what the show’s creator says. I KNOW. Because I’ve seen more episodes of The Backyardigans than HE has!)

Okay, this shouldn’t even be a post. There’s nothing to it. I just thought, since I wasn’t going to do a post today anyway…, what’s the harm? Wanted to have it on record. For me. Us. Want to remember and celebrate this and other insignificant, mundane details of our lives…. And this was just so…Monkey. Poor little thing was so into her Styrofoam balls — not realizing they were a DISASTER and BEYOND inappropriate bedtime (or anytime) toys…. Just. So sweet. That’s all.

So, what’d you all think of The Bachelor? I, of course, found it endlessly fascinating — even though it was totally scripted. Do I think Jason Mesnick’s a “douchebag” for dumping his fiance Melissa on national TV? Naaah. This is what reality TV is all about. It made for GOOD TV. Good CRAP TV. My favourite kind. I enjoy it EVEN as much as the INCOMPLETE SENTENCE. A lot. So, basically, I blame the network. The network’s the “douchebag.” Besides, Jason and Molly are CEEWT together….

I got 3 hours of sleep last night. Rascal is still a TERRIBLE sleeper. The end.

ATTN. Toronto Gorgeouses: Check Cheaty Goodies for a March Break Disney on Ice promotion: 4 tickets for $44! Go get the coupon code!

So, did you hear I’m going to Bermuda…? By myself? It’s at the end of the month, though. So, I MAY bring it up few hundred more times. I will try to hold back, though. Squeeee!

Anyway, this is a CRA-HAY-ZY one today because of the exhaustion factor — as always. But, this time, it’s not because Rascal’s waking up every 2 hours, as he has been for the past 4 months. No, this time, it’s because I’m getting a solid seven hours. He’s sleeping through the night — and I type this with my fingers crossed and while KNOCKING ON WOOD because I can’t afford to jinx myself….

Also, I confess, I’m a little distracted. It’s The Bachelor finale night, which is HUGE in my world. Especially since, before the big BERMUDA NEWS, I felt I had nothing to look forward to BUT The Bachelor, and a couple other guilty pleasures (in no particular order, ‘course): The City, The City Aftershow, Celebrity Apprentice, ROCK OF LOVE BUS (don’t. ask), American Idol, The Office, 30 Rock, The Young and the Restless and, of course, PROJECT RUNWAY CANADA, WHICH is the closest I can get to TIM GUNN right now…. Tim Gunn, who FYI is FIERCELY anti fur/skins/wool (a man after my own heart), recently put out a disturbingly, heartbreakingly graphic PETA video and has launched an entire campaign to bring awareness to “fashion’s true victims” and to urge designers like Donna Karan and Giorgio Armani to forego fur. I love him more than ever. He is my all-time favourite celebrity. Putting him on the sidebar NOW….

Tim Gunn. Perfection. Love.

Sigh, anyway….

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank the people at HYLANDS for creating THIS miracle salve….

It’s been sitting on my counter for WEEKS. And since Rascal was so beyond fussy today, and since I noticed a molar piercing through his li’l gums today, I took it out of the box, cut the tip of the applicator, squeezed some on my finger and shoved it in his protesting mouth. Not TWO MINUTES LATER he was asleep. Fast asleep. Like, zzzzzzzzz. I’m officially in love. With Hyland’s Teething gel…. (And no this is not a paid advertisement — even though it TOTALLY sounds like one!)

I’d also like to take this opportunity to point something out. You know that whole “Count Down to Cheat Day”? (See sidebar….) Wondering why I haven’t mentioned it? Why I haven’t cheered on the Gorgeous participants? Because (it’s time to fess up) EVERY DAY since I started that thing has been CHEAT DAY. I’m back off the Starbucks Soy No-Water Chai Latte (HOLD THE CRACK) wagon. But, it’s days like today where I just DON’T CARE. Because THIS is so worth it….

Tea with my little man while Monkey was at preschool. Until central Toronto gets a cute coffee shop, or two, that is NOT a Starbucks, it’s going to be pretty dang hard to avoid this drink…. And, that’s just the truth of it.

Sigh…. But I’ll keep trying….

I was going to write a whole blog post on this weekend’s movie rental and the superficial profound effects it had on me….

A lot of Gorgeouses might disagree with me on this one, but I liked this movie, and I really think you’d like it, too….

Anyway, I was going to write this big post on how the movie, and Annette Bening in particular, totally inspired me. Just. LOOK AT HER:

GORJ. Simply GORJ. At 51 years old, gorj. I want to look like that when I’m 51. Natural — I’m looking AT YOU, Sarah Jessica Parker’s silicone additions at the OSCARS…can you believe!? I’m still hoping it was just the dress….

Back to Annette and The Women. I’m not going to get into it now because, frankly, I’m blogged out — between a new LO-HO-HONG post at the Kitch and the video blog over at Goodies, in which I announce the WINNERS of our big contest this month, and Minden makes an appearance…. AND, to be honest, I’m a little preoccupied right now watching The Oscars and tweeting about it with all my tweeps! SO FUN.

Again, anyway, back to Annette and The Women…. The funny (and a little bit annoying) thing about this movie is that EVERY single person in the movie is A WOMAN. Every single extra. EVERYONE. It’s wild.

If Josh hadn’t returned the movie, I might have watched it again, you know…. Because it inspired me. It inspired me to be okay with aging, and to maybe even embrace it. Because, you know what? I couldn’t take my eyes off Annette Bening. And, that excited me. I mean, she was a hellova lot more interesting to look at — at least to me — than the perfect Eva Mendes….

Okay, I’ve officially run out of steam. But, here are a few things Annette has inspired me to start doing…

1. Eat better….
2. Dress better.
3. Read a novel.
4. Exercise.
5. I always do my best with this one anyway, but…, AUTHENTICITY. Beauty lies in being AUTHENTIC and, with that, goes SELF-CONFIDENCE (of which I could definitely have more…).
6. Brush my hair.
7. Wear lip gloss…. Pale coral….

That’s all. I give up. I’m just way too distracted to write tonight. But, this is what I got. Now go check the other blogs…!

Love!
xo Haley-O

I’ve been ranting long posts about the monkeys all week. So, I’m not going to talk about them today…, except to say that, no, I did not sleep last night, but, yes, today was a little bit better — probably because Obama was in Canada bringing us all a little hope….

God, that man is so gorj…..

So, no, we’re not going to talk about the kids. We’re going to talk about me and the carp I enjoy, and my little Tatiana Del Toro style identity crisis….

….And how much I love Danny Gokey…. Leave it to American Idol to exploit the poor guy’s tragedy for ratings — his wife died only 4 weeks ago…. But, exploiting Danny’s not so easy, as long as he can help it. When Ryan Seacrest asked Danny what he was envisioning when he sang Mariah Carey’s Hero Tuesday night, instead of answering the obvious “my dead wife,” Danny replied that he was just thinking about inspiring others to move on and be strong in the face of adversity. Respect, man. Respect. Peace out. Because that was all class. The tragedy, however, WILL get him votes. Lots of votes. I, of course, canNOT vote — because I’m in Canada — but, if I could, I’d vote for Danny, not because of his story, but because he’s got a velvet voice and he looks like Robert Downey Junior. LOVE! (I’d also vote for Tatiana because I couldn’t get enough; and talk about exploitation…. Yikes! Poor girl.)

….And how much this guy, Jon Lajoie FROM Montreal (hollah Canada!), has singlehandedly resurrected my abs because HE MAKES ME LAUGH SO HARD (brought to you by JOSH-O, who insisted on taking full credit). This video? Brillers. Enjoy…. Laugh HARD…. (PS. It’s a little racy at the end…. NSFW? Visuals all okay, though — totally SFW.)

….And how much, despite the uggers bikinis and gross objectification of women in this GARSH-awful video, I’m CRAZY about this remake of Toto’s Africa. Please note, however, that, no matter how hard I try, I CANNOT sing that “There’s nothing that a hundred men OR MORE could ever do” line right. Seriously, whenever I sing it, it’s “There’s nothing that a hundred men ON MARS could ever do.” This has been going on for years. Please send help.

….And how much Rascal made me melt today. I know, I said no kid talk today. But, really, there are NO RULES just like there is NO SPOON — I decide, in other words. He fell asleep in his carseat while he was eating a crushed walnut…. SQUEEEE!

(I didn’t really know what to do other than watch him like a hawk and try to wake him up. Leave it to Rascal to be un-wake-up-able in the daytime…with a mouth full of walnut……..)

….And, how much of a LOSER I am because of the dang “xo.” According to my friend Karen, the xo is THE OUT OUT OUT. As in LOSER. And, of course, I’ve been signing my posts “xo Haley-O” for, like, evs, and NOT ONE OF YOU told me to STOPPIT. I am TIRED. I NEED this guidance. I live in my own world. Full of green dots and lines and Asian characters….

I count on you to keep me in the KNOW about these things. Apparently, it’s just “x” now, dammit. So, it’s supposed to be “x Haley-O,” and that’s just confusing. OR, it’s supposed to be “xh,” and that’s just BOO. How ’bout “xHO,” though? That could be good…. Anyway, I’ve been wanting to nix the “-O” for a while now and be just “Haley.” But, I don’t know. I’ve been blogging as “Haley-O” for too long to change it now….

Love!

x
Haley

Blerrrrgh. That does NOT work for me. So impersonal. MWAH MWAH. No.

We’ll just see, I guess…. Maybe I just won’t sign. My posts are long enough as it is these days. And, besides, you know I love you…!

Oh screwit….

LOVE!
xo Haley-O

Last reminder to enter the contest at Goodies! $100 in world-class skincare and makeup could be YOURS. You KNOW you WAAAAN it. Check it!

Last night, I neglected my blog in favour of SLEEP. I had to. Besides, it was a holiday in Ontario today: Family Day. Yes, it’s days like today that make me really love my province…. I’ll tell you all about our special Family Day tomorrow. Because, apparently, we still have the Valentine’s Day recap to get to. And, I know you’re all on the edge of your couches WAITING to hear what movie Josh-O and I ended up seeing. Was it the one YOU recommended?

I can safely, categorically, say NO. No. No. No.

Because…. Have you forgotten that Josh-O and I have the WORST LUCK when it comes to movies? We are ALWAYS late — even when we leave extra early — and we always end up seeing something other than what we planned, usually a kid’s movie. Like the time we ended up seeing Open Season. In the theatre. IN THE THEATRE.

IN THE THEATRE.

Anyway, our bad movie luck continued on Valentine’s Eve — our first date in a LO-HO-HONG TI-HI-HIME (a really REALLY long time).

The evening started off great. We dropped the monkeys off at it’sgrandma and papa’shere’s house and headed out to a new Indian restaurant in our area. We took a couple pictures of our dining selves with our blackberries. But, Josh-O looks terrible in all of them (ahem), so here’s the one picture we got where neither of us looks like we have a double chin….

I did my makeup and, as you CAN’T tell…, my hair. I wore my favourite new hoodie (which, as I found out the next day, still had the price tag hanging off it…). I felt good. And, the food was good. It’s always hard to get the waitstaff to understand what it means when I say “I’m vegan.” Our waiter couldn’t quite figure it out because he was so obsessed with telling the chef I had a “dairy allergy” — only to put a plate of chicken thingies in front of me. “She’s vegan,” Josh tried to explain. “I JUST LOVE THE BIRDS,” I added.

It was delicious and romantic. Josh and I began to remember why we got married in the first place…. Aww….

THEN. We decided we were not going to do the “Indian theme” and see Slumdog Millionaire after Indian dining. No. We were going to take advantage of our night at the BIG SCREEN, and see Coraline 3-D style. I was so excited. I’d never seen a 3D movie in the theatres before (not since Epcot Centre, anyway)! This was going to be GREAT! Wait ’til all my readers hear about this, I thought….

So, we get to the theatre. I’m pulling my hair behind my ears in anticipation of the 3D glasses. We go to the machine to pay, and, LO AND BEHOLD, there’s no 3D Coraline, AND the time is different than what it said in the papers. If we were going to see a 2D movie, it was NOT going to be Coraline because, NOW, I only want to see it in 3D. So, we BOLTED to a nearby theatre to see Slumdog.

…Only to get there…. Too late. We were too late. So, we ended up seeing the only movie we could make it to (without keeping it’sgrandma and papa’shere up all night with the monkeys)….

The International. With CLIVE. I was so depressed at first — because I really didn’t want to see this movie in theatres. But, then, pretty-much right when the movie started and CLIVE OWEN APPEARED ON THE BIG SCREEN, I relaxed. I MELTED.

It was a pretty good movie. Way too violent for me, which I expected, since I posted this very photo on my old gossip site months ago….

But, GARSH, Naomi Watts is gorgeous — and totally not a young thing….

I loved her! But, I was TRÈS disappointed that there was absolutely NO SEX in the movie. Not even a peck on the cheek. Naomi Watts’s character was even married to some other hot dude. Seriously, TRÈS disappointing. But, it was okay, because I filled that gap by imagining myself nibbling on Clive’s neck during the parts of the movie that I didn’t understand (which were many).

All in all (who says that anymore?), it was a great night. I cannot WAIT to go to another movie. Maybe with a girlfriend this week? Shopoholic anyone?

In other news…. I got lovely flowers for Valentine’s Day, which I’ve placed high up on the fireplace mantle — like a dangling carrot for poor Minden….

And…, Monkey got the best Valentine’s gift ever, from her perfect mother Build-A-Bear. I didn’t expect it to be THIS cute and big and SOFT….

Build-A-Bear also has a gift for one of YOU. I’ll tell you more about it after our current contest is over — check that before it’s dunzo!

What? You still here? You want MORE? Wasn’t this post LONG ENOUGH? I mean, MY GOODNESS! I mean, this whole thing could have been written in TWO SENTENCES: Coraline was 2D and we were late for Slumdog. Saw The International.

Just wait till tomorrow, when I tell you all about what we did TODAY! Are you on the edge of your couch? Stay tuned….

Oh, and, want to know what melts my heart (other than CLIVE!)? The thought of Tanis, of The Redneck Mommy fame, and her NEW 5-year-old son with special needs. She was FINALLY able to adopt her dream child. Congratulations, Tanis, on your beautiful new SON! See, Gorgeouses, there is much GOOD in this world.

Love!
xo Haley-O

Just watching The Bachelor. Have hugest crush on Jason Mesnick….

PICK ME!!!

But I am so freezing cold and head-achy. So, without further ado (because I WANT BED), I give you point form. A few things I’m thinking about….

- Jason Mesnick.

- Went thumbing through People Magazine at the drugstore today. Made the monkeys wait in the stroller while thumbed. Thumbed through because of thumbnail picture of Jessica Simpson on the cover…. Naturally, it caught my eye….

…I think it was the high-waisted jeans that caught my eye. I mean, how are those flattering, really? And, she couldn’t pull them off when she was skin-and-bones — why NOW?

-Yes, she’s gained a lot of weight. And, I like it. It’s REFRESHING!

-In the magazine, Jess said the weight gain was a reflection of her happiness, and that boyfriend Tony Romo LOVES her new curves and makes her feel sexy. Obviously, (I don’t know what Tony Romo thinks, but) weight gain is rarely a reflection of HAPPINESS. It could be a reflection of yo-yo dieting…. I mean, we’ve all heard her say this before. Watch: 2 months from now she’ll be skinnier than ever. The same thing happened with Jennifer Love Hewitt and Janet Jackson, oh, and Alanis Morissette. It’s so all PR. AND, who could take all the FAT attacks. I mean, the media’s KILLING her with FAT FAT FAT jokes and criticism. But, it’s nice to see so many celebs coming out in her defense, even as so many of them are TOTALLY anorexic these days….

- Maybe it’s because Jessica Simpson’s gained weight? But, as I was thumbing, I noticed all the other actors in Hollywood are ANOREXIC looking. Angelina Jolie and Anne Hathaway were skin and bones at the SAG awards…. I mean, after all, Jessica Simpson is FAR FROM FAT with her new curves…. She’s just not ANOREXIC like so many of her peers.

-I had a professor in university who LOVED squirrels. She loved squirrels so much that she dedicated one of her books to them — to something like Periwinkle and Tootsiewoops (I think I’m way off, but you get the picture). I was her research assistant at one point, and I’d go to the grocery store and buy walnuts for her; I’d feed the squirrels when she was away…. She even made me accompany her onto the road to scoop up roadkill with an Indian silk cloth and drop him gently (I can’t remember his name) in a more respectable spot. I remember a car stopped in front of us, and the woman looked at me like I was cuckoo — of course, I was sure to point the finger at the squirrel lady…. The thing is. Now….

I’M A SQUIRREL LADY!

Check out the RED SQUIRREL….

I know, the pictures totally suck. (And, I know, this isn’t really POINT FORM anymore. I’m on a roll. Still f-f-f-freezing feverish, though.) I didn’t want to scare them with my flash. Anyway, I haven’t started naming them, yet. But, I give them all my leftovers, and sunflower and pumpkin seeds. Organic, of course. I also love the birds.

I just admire them, you know? This winter has been the coldest and snowiest we’ve had in a LONG time. How could the squirrels have prepared for that? How do they survive in it? I go back to my toasty home, and where to they go? And, where do they get their food, if no one feeds them….

-When I start to lose it during the day. Like, when Rascal’s flailing because he doesn’t want to put his boots on, or when the Monkey’s begging me for JUST ONE MORE BACKYARDIGANS…. I walk over to the kitchen window. And, if I’m lucky, I’ll see a bevy of squirrels and birds munching away on Monkey’s wasted breakfast waffle. And, then I can breathe again. I can remember what counts.

Love!
xo Haley-O

It’sgrandma can’t believe how great my skin looks since she got back from her 3-week vacation. Check Cheaty Recommends for all my skincare recos!

And, once you’re finished over there, check Cheaty Goodies for the big contest! OPEN TO EVERYONE.

A momentous night tonight, indeed. Superbowl night. I took the monkeys to my parents’ house for our annual Superbowl party. Josh-O went to a buddy’s house. (It’s always “buddy” on Superbowl night.) Of course, there are some important highlights we need to talk about.

First. Cheaty has a new crush….

Holy hottness, Kurt Warner! It’s only because he is so dang hott that I’m sorry the Cardinals lost tonight. Otherwise I could have cared less. (I mean, ‘cuz there are so many hotties on BOTH teams.) I was just happy it’sgrandma bathed the kids at her house while I got to sit on the couch and chow down on whole-grain tortilla chips and popcorn.

Second. Cheaty loves Jennifer Hudson. But, I mean, who doesn’t after her performance tonight? If you didn’t catch it, and even if you did, here’s the vid…. (BTW, note how many times the cameras zoomed in on a certain KURT WARNER. Sqeee!)

After everything she’s been through — her mother, brother and nephew violently taken from her — this performance had even more meaning, was even more poignant. It gave me chills. Made me actually cry. I never cry….

…That is, except for ALL THE TIME lately, since my little guy won’t sleep and is so miserable during the day. He’s getting over a big fever, and teething, and exhausted from shrieking all night. Everyone’s giving me advice, and I’ve tried everything. I just need emotional support at this point. Unlike advice, support is never unsolicited. And, I’ll take it. Hold me….

There’s only so much I can tell people “I’M SORRY, I HAVEN’T SLEPT IN DAYS.” But, I do. I HAVE to. Because, most of the time, I’m a bumbling mess. Sigh…. Anyway….

Oh yeah, and Bruce Springsteen was definitely THE BOSS tonight. He actually redeemed himself. Since, for the last 20-ish years, I’ve hated him for throwing what I thought was the most boring concert EVER in the history of concerts…. Maybe I’m just older and wiser now. Definitely sleepier….

Definitely LAUGHING MY ARSE OFF. By myself. At the post-Superbowl episode of THE OFFICE!

Love!!!
xo Haley-O

Check Cheaty’s new skincare and makeup recos over HERE.

In all my 30+ years…. Wait.

It’s literally taken me all evening to actually sit down and write something. I get FIVE words on the page and then, excuse me? Josh-O wants to have a conversation? I DON’T THINK SO. And, now I need some apricots because today was, like, the hardest day of my 21-day cleanse, and this is the closest I’m getting to CANDY.

Just wait till I do Kathy Freston’s NEW cleanse…. Let’s hope she doesn’t send me that advanced copy anytime soon….

In the meantime, I’m going to go procrastinate some more. I need kisses…. Kittie kisses. Back in a minute…. Yawning, or hissing? Discuss:

Okay, I’ve done just about everything I can to avoid writing this post: ate an apple (better choice than an apricot), took pictures of perfect cat, loaded pictures of cat and posted picture of cat YAWNING, and, now, I should explain THAT I AM NOT AFRAID OF OVER-POSTING CAT PICTURES for those of you who are new here — and because I’m a finalist at the 2009 Bloggies (did you vote?!) there are many of you, WHICH is partly why I’m having trouble getting down to the writing of this thing because HOLY EYES ON ME! Tap tap tap! Hi. Hello everyone. I’m just a wee blogger, really. Not used to this spotlight. It’s bright. My eyes hurt. Shy. But, still, I have to just keep reminding myself that I do this for ME. Which is why I’ll post this picture….

And, this….

Because there’s nothing like an empty bucket of play-dough stuffs to brighten up another freaking freezing afternoon indoors (like, so freaking freezing that an old lady yelled at me for taking my monkeys to the store, and we all know I am not ageist).

Speaking of freezing (and AWESOME segues), did BRAD CARLTON DIE in that ice on today’s episode of The Young and the Restless? And, WTF?

…And just after he professed his undying love to Sharon and saved her son’s life at the expense of HIS OWN. Can it be? And, will he be just alive enough tomorrow to have a few, breathless, last words with which to traumatize Sharon forever?

Why? Why does he have to go? He was my favourite Jewish boy in a soap opera EVER. Which actually doesn’t say THAT much because I can’t think of any other Jewish boys in a soap opera…. Can you? I need a new one now that Don Diamont is gone. GONE! Or, almost gone. Not sure yet. They left us hanging. BUT, a metaphorical lantern went out. LANTERN. OUT. SNUFFED. Too soon. So….

He is leaving the show for sure. Here’s the scoop according to MSNBC:

For all but one of the last 24 years, Carlton — a onetime Navy Seal and a secret Nazi hunter — has been a character on “The Young & The Restless,” the daytime ratings champ for the last two decades.

But Carlton, played by Don Diamont, and three other prominent characters on the CBS show have been axed as part of the severe retrenchment seizing daytime soaps — one of TV’s oldest formats, its quintessential advertising vehicle, and the birthplace of product placement.

The other three rumoured to be leaving the show are Vail Bloom (Heather), Chris Engen (Adam) and Michael Gross (River). I won’t be sorry to see any of them go. 24 years, Gorgeouses, 24 years. 24 years and they give Don Diamont the axe. I’m so sad!

But, I’m okay. Sniff. No. No. I’m okay. Thanks. Hugs. All I need to do to get happy and laugh HYSTERICALLY again is think of Greg the Rabbit on the American Idol (*wait…saving this post now because have NO IDEA what have written so far so could never EVER rewrite this GOLD. heh.*) Salt Lake City Auditions. Unfortunately, this vid is TRÈS poor quality, but WELL worth the eye strain — especially if you haven’t seen this. Trust me. (P.S.: I love it when he “hops” into the audition and when he starts bopping behind his friend and when he hugs Simon…. You’ll see you’ll see!!)

It still makes me cry laughing. As did 30 Rock and The Office tonight. Love….

This post is dedicated to Don Diamont. Here’s to 24 YEARS! *SOB*

Love!
xo Haley-O