I didn’t take a lot of photos. I also didn’t take a lot of breaths. At one point, on the second night of the conference, I couldn’t hold back tears, and I ran up to the hotel room and cried. Yes. I did. But when I forced myself to lie down, pick up my novel and just relax, I felt better. (Awesome book, by the way.)

That’s when I realized I hadn’t taken a single break that day. While I may seem outgoing and (at times even) natural in social settings, inside I’m often anxious and tense. I’m really as shy as a turtle.

I need to make time to crawl into my shell and just collect myself for a bit — otherwise, I’m just all over the place. If you caught me JUST before I broke into tears, you would have thought me boring and spacey in a withdrawn sort of way. If you caught me AFTER the tears, you would have thought me just a weeee bit spacey and gullible in a Three’s Company‘s Chrissy sort of way….

Despite the social anxiety issssues, I had a great time. I partied HARD. And I haven’t done that in a long time. Those friends of mine, they dragged me out at a whopping 9pm for dinner and drinks, not at a quiet bar down the street from the conference hotel, but a longish cab ride away to the Lower East Side of NYC. The 15 of us (ahem) piled into an already PACKED bar in which there were men in plaid button-downs standing on the bar taking photos and swigging beers. Kind of like the gorj Miss Daniela Syrovy here in the green (with some seriously awesome and hilarious ladies — Joanne Acri, Theresa Albert and Emma Waverman [who's either yawning or showing off her FAB Martha-Stewart-party "ring" craft])….

…who stood up on a chair in her fab green dress and took this pic of all most of us….

Can you see the social anxiety on my (distorted) face? Hmm, maybe not, since by then I’d had a glass of wine (it doesn’t take much). Look at all the lovelies! Where to start? Let’s see, next to me, Corinne, Nadine, Rebecca, Brandie, Rebecca, Emma (sweet WILLER), Maureen, Cora, Lianne, and Tracy. The only person missing in the photo, if I’m not mistaken…, is Ms. GREENERS, who earlier that night did THIS….

Her fab keynote speech moved us all to tears…. Here’s a link to all the Voices of the Year keynotes, including Karen’s. LOVE!

Despite the short and very therapeutic cry, the conference was an amazing experience. I got to meet a lot of my online friends in person, and I got to hear some incredible, inspiring people speak, including “international activists” who risk their lives blogging and make a real difference…for all of us.

Another really rewarding and memorable part of the conference was meeting LINDSEYJAY and SANDYEL! They met each other through MY BLOG! They’ve both been commenting here since the dawn of Cheaty Monkey, pretty much, and there they were, ROOMIES in NYC. Can you say FAHKLEMPT! I need to get a picture of the three of us, HELLO? Picture, anyone? FAHKLEMPT.

[PLACE PICTURE OF LINDSEY, SANDYEL AND ME HERE]

I left the conference early, alas, because I had to get back to work Monday morning — and we drove to NYC. When I got into the car, I was greeted by a very-desperate-to-see-me THIS….

She covered me in kisses — like I HAVE NEVER. It was good to be back….

And I’m back! When I got to work this morning, I found this month’s issue of Today’s Parent on my desk. Look for a feature on my CELEBRITY BLOG on p. 22 and on the “What’s on the Web” page, and, again, my name in the masthead (much to my mother’s delight!). FUN! My spoofy PINK article on Celine Dion will occur in the October issue.

How was YOUR week?

Love! xo Haley-O

Credit: Photo of turtles by cygnus921.

I just spent about an hour sitting with my legs up on my suitcase just people watching and waiting for Emma to arrive with the keys to our hotel room. Familiar thoughts rolling around in my head: “WHY am I here?” “I could totally just bolt!” “Is that…?” “Should I say ‘hi’ to her or just turn the other way because it’s, like, 1000 degrees in here and I’m schvitzing and not ready, I mean, ‘hi’ can wait…we’re here all weekend.” “WHY am I here?”

The BlogHer conference can be a little overwhelming at first. I remember last year: I got in to the hotel, looked around the lobby at little groups forming, listened to the echoing “squeeee”s, and then I ran up to my hotel room and just stayed there for a bit. I think I must have changed three times: went down in a green shirt, went back up to my room, came back down in a black shirt, went back to my room, and went down again in a different black shirt, and finally started saying some hellos.

I’ll be okay. I just take a while to acclimatize.

I’ve actually been in NYC for a few days now (after a lovely few days in the country). We stayed at a hotel in Brooklyn — right across the street from the JAIL. Talk about JEEBIES. We walked alongside it, and a car drove by with a bunch of SCARY-looking dudes yelling up at the barred windows: “YO JOOOOO! YOOOO! JOOOOOO! JOOOOOOOOOO!”

JEEBIES!

My family and I spent the day in Manhattan yesterday, walking along the sweltering streets, past one-too-many crackheads and a sunglass store at which I purchased these babies….

I was in mid-sentence at the time of this picture-taking, FYI. They look a little big on the sides, but it’s just the angle (I hope). I went in thinking — “I will not buy mom-glasses, I will not buy mom-glasses.” Success, I think!

So there’s that. And this….

Betteh White in NYC! It was VERY hard to leave her this aft….

OY!

Gotta go. Party at the Canadian Embassy. Promise I’ll start being more social.

LOVE!

xo Haley-O

I’ve been loving this season’s So You Think You Can Dance. I wasn’t sure about the new “all-star” format, but it’s working for me. Love it. ANYWAY, if you happened to miss Billy and Ade’s contemporary piece last night, you must checkit — to borrow Mia’s words, it was “sheer perfection”….

Phenomenal. The artistry, the philosophy, the beauty, all speak to me. FAHKLEMPT!

Things are a bit insane around here as we plan for a 10-day trip — first to the in laws’ farm and then to the BIG APPLE for BLOGHER (talk about MAD WORLD…)!

We’re driving, so please wish me luck. If you knew my kids (like, in real life), you’d know I need all the luck I can get. As per my kids’ orders, I’ll be filling my iPod with various versions of this damn song that they both beg me for constantly (GGAHH!) — Rascal: “Mama, I wah ‘Aw da way up, aw da way down’”….

Don’t ask….

I’ll also make sure I have a good lineup of what the Rascal thinks are songs from his favourite movie Cars — but that are really all my favourite songs from the Glee soundtrack. Hee.

You can definitely find me on twitter throughout the week (say hi!), here at Cheaty Monkey as often as I can make it, and I’ll be keeping my celeb blog up to date at Today’s Parent, among other things there.

Oh, and guess who’s coming with us?

BETZ! Betty White is coming with us. And a cat sitter is staying with the kitties. You can see he’s thrilled about it….

Lip….

Okay! I have a 6am Ashtanga yoga class to get up for. Good night!

Love!

xo Haley-O

As you may have noticed in my last post, I’m on a bit of a spiritual kick. And, I know, that doesn’t explain a thing about WHAT THE HELL that post was, but that’s the point (or the non-point). Maybe “spiritual” isn’t the right word. And hopefully this isn’t a “kick.” Because, as I said in that last post, I’m happy — happy not trying to be happy. Because trying to be happy presupposes that I’m not happy. And if I step outside my bumbling brain for a bit and look at things as they are, I’m damn happy. Yeeaahh.

“Spiritual” is definitely not the right word either. I’ve sort of been-there-done-that, and it didn’t stick. It was definitely a “kick.” I don’t even really care if the psychic across the road from the big bookstore I frequent is really psychic or not, or even if I have a “spirit guide,” and what his name is, or if my dead cat is communicating with me when I’m sleeping. Because, at least for me, it doesn’t matter. Matter.

Regular yoga practice is teaching me this. How good practicing yoga makes me feel doesn’t matter. Matter. What matters is what’s here, what’s clear. My cat sitting on my lap, purring, now turning to me with stinky wet kisses, the click-clicking of the keys under my fingertips, my daughter upstairs serenading her dad: “it’s not my fault, the police gave me a ticket once because it’s not catching up to you, na-na-na-na-na” (#wtf?). Time passes quickly, and I’m done squandering my life.

So there are things to let go of. Me, the clinger. Addictions, fears, desires, anxieties. This doesn’t mean I plan on repressing or transcending these things, or never-ever-having-a-Starbucks-soy-no-water-tazo-chai-ever-again-EVER. It just means watching, noticing, observing the patterns, the wanting, the cravings — human stuff that we all get sucked into, stuck in. Not caring where it all comes from or why.

This is all a little something I’m learning from him (ignore the old caption — try)…

…and through him (who happens to have been my best friend when I was around 4-6 years old — so, kind of kismet)…

One day, I’ll have the guts to go to Michael Stone’s studio, maybe take a class, maybe let him know the impact he’s had on my life and, so, the lives around me….

Don’t worry, I’m still loving The Real Housewives. Just dancing more to the beat of my own drummer. And maybe even to a little Alicia Keys, because…

…because that’s what my girls are playing because we’re going to NYC — Blogher ’10 — this summer with a whole bunch of other fabulous people whom I genuinely love. Come with us!? God help me, my family’s coming, too! But they’ll be staying with Josh’s sister and husband in Brooklyn. Yes, it will be quite the roadtrip. And I expect to overhear many a backseat conversation, such as this little nugget from today:

TANGENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All that matters: my amazing family, good friends, authenticity (but not the cliche kind), the world, this earth, “this ground.” What doesn’t matter: “big bloggers,” stats, twitter followers, fame, what-if’s, what so-and-so thinks of how my kid behaved in the restaurant, or what so-and-so thinks of what I’m wearing (again)…. None of it matters. Too much squandering. Squandering.

So, basically, while I’m not going to give up squandering altogether (you’d have to PAY me to give up Housewives right now, and, hmmm, twitter), I’m a little more focused on what matters, on what’s real, here, and now, on this earth.

One more tweet for the road – because it came out of nowhere last week and is, dare I say, très apropos….

It’s about being here and now and balanced within an extremely unbalanced society, ecology, economy, etc., etc….

Kind of like this wonderful boy, my blog friend (and fellow T-Dot book clubber) Sandra Diaz‘s eight-year-old son Zachary, raising thousands of dollars for assaulted women, and volunteering any way he can for other important charities. He was honoured at Disney on Ice the other night. That’s yoga — as opposed to “blissing out” in hot pink lululemons. I got to take a picture….

Though it’s a fabulous workout and great for the nervous system, the heart of yoga is in the here and now. In not escaping but being present and active anywhere that you’re needed. Most people don’t realize it. Most people don’t realize how enlightening it is to really be in the here and now — through yoga, meditation, and even just reading (maybe even a blog post?) about it.

Bottom line in 140 characters or less? I don’t care about small stuff anymore. Dunzo. (Okay more than 140 characters.) I will continue to wear my flaws on my sleeve. But I’ll let them be. I’ll go with the flow and focus on what matters. Really matters.

It’s a work in progress…, of course.

People ask me about yoga and yoga books/dvds all the time. So, basically: Michael’s books (he has three of them now) — Cheaty RECOMMENDS.

Love!

xo Haley-O

It started in the lounge at BlogHer. “DID SOMEONE SAY TIM GUNN IS HERE?” “TIM. GUNN.” “WHEN IS HE COMING?” “DOES ANYONE KNOW WHEN TIM GUNN IS COMING?” “WHERE WILL HE BE?” “bTrendie, WHO?” “WHERE AM I?”

I finally figured out he was going to be at the Tide Booth on the BlogHer Expo Floor. I cried a bit when I realized I was going to have to miss Jenny the Bloggess‘s panel to meet him — DAMMIT — but, she and I talked about it and agreed that seeing TIM GUNN was a BlogHer priority. (And, FYI, I still get to catch Jenny’s panel liveblogged at blogher.com. Sweet. See, you CAN have your cake and eat it, too. Mmm, cake.)

I started crying as soon as I GOT IN LINE to see Tim Gunn. There were about 30 people in front of me, and I was convinced that I was Tim Gunn’s #1 fan. Until the girl in front of me whipped out her Project Runway DVD ready for Tim to sign…. Then, I wasn’t sure if there was maybe a tie for first.

I was a little embarrassed that I was BAWLING in line, at BlogHer, waiting to see Tim Gunn. Because I’m by no means a fashionista. INDEED, I was wearing Lululemon yoga pants and running shoes with a semi-nice shirt. FAUX. PAS. But, something tells me Tim didn’t notice.

Immediately, when he saw me, teary-eyed and muttering “Animals. Thanx you for the animals,” he grabbed my hands and we got to serious talking.

See, as everyone (EVERYONE) in line that day NOW knows, Tim isn’t JUST a fashion guru, he’s an animal activist. One of the FIERCEST (Tyra Banks FIERCE, that is) kind. Yes, he tirelessly works with PETA to teach the fashion industry and all the world about the cruelty of the fur and skin industry.

He claims that ANIMALS are “Fashion’s Worst victims” and fights hard for them by teaching design schools and the world’s most famous designers how their fur makes it to the design table. (The link to his very graphic video — which will make you quit leather, I warn you — can be found on my sidebar, IN my Tim Gunn index of posts. ahem. LOVE!)

In our moments together, he repeated “we have to stick together!” to win the fight for animals. And he took my business card…. He told me one of the designers on the upcoming season of Project Runway tried to use fur in one of the challenges, and that he REEMED the designer so bad the incident had to be cut and edited so that Tim didn’t look like a total psycho (I paraphrase). There is no fur permitted on Project Runway.

It was a moment to remember. And I showed THIS to everyone — especially to him, and her, and her…, and rambled on and on AND ON to the poor things about TIM….

APPARENTLY, he wrote “Make It Work!!” on everyone’s photo (even on his other #1 fan’s photo — I checked). But, on MINE, he wrote “THANK YOU FOR MAKING IT WORK!!” Even in my lululemons, bad hair and running shoes, Tim Gunn said I make it work. I. MAKE IT WORK. IMAKEITWORK. Awesome.

Awesome.

Seriously, to meet someone who does SO MUCH for a cause I don’t frikken EAT for (vegan)…? Precious! Precious.

Precious.

I LOVE YOU TIM GUNN!

Sigh…. It was as good as the 6-foot PYTHON I held on my shoulders in Spain five years ago. The tingles stick around for days. Weeks.

In other news, I’m a CHAIR PERSON! Yes, I’m chair of this incredible bTrendie Power Mom Advisory Board:

From left to right, top to bottom: Kristen Chase, Tracey Gaughran-Perez, Amanda Hill, Liza Sabater, Jeneane Sessum, Lisa Estall, Halley Suitt, Denise Howell, Leslie Flinger, and ME!

I may be the chair of this awesome board, but that doesn’t mean I’m the boss of them, FYI, because LOOK AT THEM. They are totally the boss of me. TOTALLY. I just lead the phone calls, craft the agendas, and work with each talented member individually to get the most out of her unique expertise.

Why am I telling you this today, you ask? BECAUSE TODAY WAS THE BIG REVEAL! All week, I’ve been working feverishly with the bTrendie PR team to get the word out about this great group of women and what they’re doing for bTrendie. I took Baltimore and Boston, saturating their media peeps with deets on our new board. Here’s the release, and the bios of all these awesome women — CHECK IT! How COOL is this?

Advisors Help Shape User Experience and Sales Events for bTrendie’s
Private Shopping Community

New York – August 4, 2009 – bTrendie™, the mom-approved shopping community that features trend-setting products for baby and mom at up to 60% off, has named its advisory board of online Power Moms. The board will provide a mom’s-eye view that furthers bTrendie’s mission of providing members unrivaled access to mom-approved products within an exciting, engaging, and informative community.

“We are inspired by these accomplished women and honored to have the benefit of their experience as we focus on growing our business and expanding our service,” said bTrendie Co-Founder Emily Rayson. “The passion and creativity of our advisors — combined with their range of expertise in business, technology, blogging, fashion, law, and, of course, parenting — gives us the inside story on what our members expect, and how we can best exceed those expectations.”

The following members comprise bTrendie’s all-star team of Power Mom advisors:

Kristen Chase is the author of the popular weblog Motherhood Uncensored and writes Mominatrix, a featured column at The Imperfect Parent. Her first book, “The Mominatrix’s Guide to Sex” will be released in December 2009. Kristen is also Publisher and Chief Operating Officer of Cool Mom Picks, a cheeky product and service review blog, and Principal at Parent Bloggers Network.

Lisa Estall is a busy mom blogger with two children under the age of 4. She maintains two blogs, Mogul Baby and Mrs. Mogul. Lisa’s career background includes working in television and film in NYC. She currently writes about pop culture and the latest baby and parenting products at Babycenter and Babble.

Leslie “Flinger” has been blogging personally for six years at what she now calls The Little Black Dress Edition. She owns and is the lead developer at Catapult Web Development and holds a Masters Degree in Information Technology. Mrs. Flinger is a self-professed nerd, over-shares at Room 704 and Seattle Mom Blogs, and can be found tweeting as @MrsFlinger. She is a wife, mom of two, drinker of wine, and lover of sexy code.

Armed with a blackbelt in sarcasm, Tracey Gaughran-Perez writes about her life at SweetneyMamaPop. Tracey is a PhD dropout and ex-college professor turned parental unit and internerd blogger. She adores Jon Stewart, Indie Rock, science geekery, and underdogs in all their various incarnations. and about famous people’s lives at

Amanda Hill is a freelance writer and blogger from Kentucky who writes for her own blog, Shamelessly Sassy, as well as contributing to several others, including Babble’s Droolicious and AOL’s Lemondrop. The mother of a sassy four-year-old redhead, Amanda is a lapsed vegetarian and an avid shopper.

Denise Howell is a technology lawyer, blogger, columnist, and hosts this WEEK in LAW on TWiT.tv. Denise created one of the first law-oriented weblogs, Bag and Baggage, and writes for The American Lawyer and CBS Interactive. Her expertise on emerging technology and law has been recognized by The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Wired News, The ABA Journal, The American Lawyer, and others.

ME! is queen of the slash factor – a mom/writer/blogger/consultant/art dealer/freelance writer & editor, and yoga teacher. In addition to her love of chai lattes, Haley blogs at Cheaty Monkey, contributes to Canada Moms Blog, and promotes art for kids at Kids Deserve Art. In her spare time, she shares her observations on Twitter as @Cheaty.

Liza Sabater is founder of two of the most influential political blogs in the United States, Culture Kitchen and The Daily Gotham. Liza was rated in the top 10 of last year’s Now Public MostPublic Index, a list of the 50 most influential individuals in New York’s new media market. She has been a guest on CNN.com TV, PBS’ NewsHour Online, and others. When she is not blogging or evangelizing, Liza returns to her secret life as her boys’ gym and basketball mom in New York.

A netizen since 1997, Jeneane Sessum is a social media pioneer. She started her personal blog Allied in 2001, and launched Blog Sisters, the first woman’s group blog, that same year. Jeneane was a founding Advisory Board Member and Contributing Editor for BlogHer and has been featured in Business Week and The New York Times for her insights on social media. She blogs on these topics at Jeneane.net and tweets as @Jeneane.

Halley Suitt is the CEO of Wellness Mobile, a start-up with offices in Boston, MA and Mountain View, CA. She was CEO of Top Ten Sources where she acquired the social media fashion site, Stylefeeder. She is a NASM Certified Personal Fitness Trainer and a long-time blogger, having launched Halley’s Comment in 2002. Halley has been an advisor to TotSpot, Club Mom (now Café Mom), and a keynote speaker at BlogHer. She wrote the first Harvard Business Review case study on blogging and has appeared on Oprah.

Aren’t they GORJ? LOVE! Each and every one of them.

There you have it. Longest arse blog post in the HISTORY of blogging. Complete with Tim Gunn, Mom Bloggers, PETA, and Oprah. I may have to take a few days off after this one…. Maybe.

Pssssssssst! If you want to GET IN to bTrendie.com to check it out. You’re ALWAYS welcome. Indeed, as Director of Membership and Community, I frikkin IMPLORE you. Heh. Don’t let the invite code scare you. Just enter code CHEATY, and have fun!

LOVE!

xo Haley-O

This post should probably be FIVE posts and not one (edit: two). But, if I don’t do this now, get it all out NOW, it might get away, and I might never write it. So it has to be done. All of it — even though eyes are still half shut from all the drinking, dancing (oh yeeeahhh), late nights and CONSTANT schmoozing (I HAVE NEVER). When I went to the grocery store today, I checked EVERYONE out and wondered…”DO I KNOW YOU?” Because that’s what you do the WHOLE time at BlogHer. You are constantly asking, “Do I know her?” “Is that? NOOO. YES! Better go say hi! Or, not.” It can make you a little insane. Total culture shock. Anyway, onward!

I ARRIVED…. Chicago is a GORJ city. Much like Toronto — only, they have peeps who, like, take your garbage to the DUMP! TO THINK! Gah.

I felt really out of place when I got there the first day. I DID hide in my room for a bit because the whole thing was so overwhelming. But, then I changed out of my yoga pants, put on my HOT PANTS and gladiator heels, and I was good to go with head held high. Note: I wore my yoga pants and running shoes the ENTIRE rest of the time.

Believe it or not, I hung out with SO many Toronto peeps!

Like, Ms. Emma Willer — because, you know, Where there’s a WILLER, there’s…A WAY — hung out a lot. Here we are experimenting with our self-portraits at lunch. CHIN UP?

OR, CHIN DOWN? We can’t decide which is more flattering….

OR, the torso shot at the Saturday-night cocktail party by the waterssss. GORJ…. (This post does not adhere to chronological order because I’ve come to terms with the sorry fact that I’m a tragically circular thinker. I just don’t DO linear — in case you haven’t noticed BLAH BLAH, omg, THE TANGENTS.)

I just love me some down-to-earth peeps! Speaking of which…. Some KARENMEG!

And some sweet lovely CARING-for-my-overwhelmed-soul KATIE MOTHERBUMPER!

Ma girl MANDY GRATTON! (We took this pic ourselves.)

And, the DON MILLS DIVA Kelly Graham-Scherer IN THE FLESH — who, by the way, made one fine KEYNOTE. Go girl! PLAYDATE (I’m holding you to it!)

And, of course, the woman who got me blogging in the first place, Ms. AliMartell — my old friend and co-worker at that big ole red publishing company….

Yes, it seems you have to go to CHICAGO to hang with your Canadian peeps (even though Ms. Martell is moving to Atlanta AS WE SPEAK!).

I met SO many awesome non-Canadian’s, too, of course! A highlight for me was meeting one of the first bloggers I ever loved. AMALAH! If only…to have…that ARM! She’s GORJ! And SWEET! Loooove!

AND, she probably thought I was stalking her at the Mamapop panel…. But, no. I just smile A LOT. Am COMPULSIVE smiler. But, I DID get a pic of another fave peep of mine, Jodifur, and Amalah’s little boy EZRA! OY!

(Jodifur doesn’t like this pic. And she DOTH look GORJER in real life than in this pic — but OY. EZRA. Had to share.)

And, the one-and-only 6-months-preggers fabtastic writer and person MEGAN JORDAN. LOVE! Love love. Really. I loved hanging with her, and…

and…, AND…. I loved GOING ON AND ON AND ON to her (and to the amazing adorable NEILOCHKA) about — WAIT FOR IT! — TIM GUNN (look at my sidebar posted WAY before BLOGHER! BIGTIME CELEBRITY LOVE)!

I met him. I met Tim Gunn at BlogHer. “We need to stick together,” he tells me….

To be continued….

Make it work!

xo Haley-O

P.S.: For the full photo debrief, check my flickr #blogher09 stream! Enjoy!

P.P.S.: It’s The MONKEY’S 4th Birthday today! FOURTH!!! Happy Birthday, Monkey! I love you….

“I am exhausted” is my new mantra. My friends are starting to notice. But, DUDE, I work in the mornings and nights and parent two rambunctious monkeys in between and throughout. YES! I’m tired. I’m also way too focused on the BlogHer Conference I’m going to on THURSDAY in CHICAGO to get together or talk on the phone — but not too focused on it TO EAT, unfortunately, heh…. I eat when I’m nervous, what can I say….

ANYWAY!

I need to figure out what I’m packing for the conference. So, let’s do it together. Check it.

I got ma new shoes…. Nike Shox to go with my Lululemons (the shoe guy swore up and down that they’re not leather, and I searched the internet for hours — OCD — to make sure, and s’all good!)

I got ma new Lululemons and evening pants….

Maybe a dress for the BlogHer Cocktail Party? (But, I don’t know… I don’t do dresses unless I have to.) This one?? I wore it to Bermuda….

Definitely bringing the necklace I got in Bermuda (and that I wore to ERRRRNA’s wedding)…. Just one piece of jewelry enough??

JENNAY!

Then there are the shirts! The fabulous Halley Suitt told me to wear COLOUR. So….

Of course, I have to bring SOME black….

…My favourite of which is this SEQUINNED number….

And, my fancy new black cardigan, c/o It’sgrandma and Papa’shere (they will KILL me if they see this pic of MINDEN walking on it…. But, he’s being careful.)….

…And shoes — beloved not-leather gladiators….

…And shoes — canvas wedges NOT to wear with Lululemons…

And, of course, the necessities…. Undies, black socks, and New BRA….

Hmm…, what else. TECHIE NECESSITIES….

Yes, Josh-O is lending me his iTouch, and NOW THAT IS LOVE. And then there’s all the bTrendie items: People’s Party sponsor table stuff, clipboard, prop-up poster, pens, contest page, MACBOOK, business cards, BOWL, egad!

And, by the way, yes, I realize I’m only going to be there for four days. I’m bringing way too many clothes, and shoes. But, a girl needs CHOICE!

What do you think? Am I ready to go? Have I packed everything? Oh! A nightie, toothbrush, MAKEUP, shampoo, BRUSH…, deodorant. Now I’m ready.

I’ll try to do a blog post while I’m gone — here and at the bTrendie.com blog (use code CHEATY to get in there, if you haven’t already. I’m actually writing quite steadily at that blog now. Minden’s in the latest post, along with cofounder Emily Rayson modeling her Forgotten Shanghai bag SHWING! LOVE!), and I’ll be twittering like mad, as usual, at twitter.com/Cheaty.

Okay! I’m off. Will MISS you. Let me know if I need to take anything else, ‘kay? I’ve never been to BlogHer be– OH! MY CAMERA! I CAN’T forget MY CAMERA. And the charger. And the blackberry and iTouch chargers…. PURSES!

I am so psyched, Gorgeouses! I LOVE TRAVELING! And to meet and party with all these awesome peeps!? SO excited! And nervous!

LOVE!

xo Haley-O

For the next little while before I go to the big BlogHer conference in CHICAGO next THURSDAY, I’m going to be up to my eyeballs in STUFF to do. I need a facial, and to lose AT LEAST 5 pounds (hence I threw out the peanut butter because I CANNOT BE TRUSTED around peanut butter), and to finally get new shoes, pick up my new Lululemon (yoga pants), wax my eyebrows, and, OH YEAH, organize bTrendie swag, tables, contests, etc., for three HUMUNGOUS parties — Room 704, The People Party, and Mamapop! — among other things.

I can barely keep my head above water. And, probably the one thing that kept me remotely afloat, when 5pm rolled around today and urgent emails were piling in and Rascal woke up from his nap SHRIEKING, was my good friend (Toronto photographer extraordinaire) Shelagh Howard‘s timely tweet about working with kids around….

It’s BRILLIANT. “Some days, you just have to PICK ONE.” My new motto.  Because some days you can’t possibly do it all. And, as Shelagh also likes to remind me (in her attempts to stop me from ripping my hair out some days): “Are your kids fed? Do they have shelter? Do they seem remotely neglected? Are they WITH YOU?”

Yes, they’re well-fed. They have a cozy bed to sleep in. They have toys galore. They have me WITH THEM — and we all know that’s the best because there’s NOTHING more AWESOME than tugging and whining at MAMAHHHH all day, especially when she’s working. THEY’RE. FINE.

I do try hard to balance it all or, rather, to choose KIDS over WORK. But, I love the idea of giving myself permission to CHOOSE WORK now and then. I mean, WHY NOT? And, why didn’t I think of that myself?!

Anyway, on days like today, when I HAVE to choose WORK, taking the kids to the toy store isn’t such a bad idea, is it? Until it’s bed time and the little Rascal starts shrieking (again) because he wants to SLEEP with his new firetruck (for ages 4 and up)….

He’s all about the tantrums these days. This one was, OH, about the 20th of the day. NO JOKE. So, I deserve at least 10 tantrum photos and a good giggle for that.

And because he’s so damn cute, and because I’m choosing work in an exploitative mood, here are some more hysterical crying photos, which he and I will no doubt laugh at together when he’s older….

Oy, I can’t take the cuteness that is THIS FUNNY, FUNNY CHILD.

HAIRCUT!!!!

Of course, I comforted Rascal and suggested that he put his truck on the floor beside his crib. Which he did, and then went right to sleep!

Good boy, Rascal. It’ll be right there for you in the morning….

Speaking of good boys. Check who waits by the window for me every day….

Meenot…. I love this frikkin cat.

LOVE!

xo Haley-O

Nothing like a little art on a Sunday morning to ignite a waning spirit. And, WOW, did Canada REPRESENT today at the annual Toronto Outdoor Art Exhibition (TOAE) at Nathan Phillips Square.

Josh and I took the kids downtown at, ohhh, 10am or so to fit in the entire show before I had to meet it’sgrandma at the mall to buy clothes for BLOGHER (more on that part later). It definitely wasn’t enough time to peruse ALL the finest of Canada’s (and some US) artists. But, I got enough of a taste to get me excited!

One of the things I use my internet “fame” for is to bring Canadian (and “mom”) artists to the PEOPLE. I don’t know why, but it’s a passion of mine. I love animals, and I love artists. So, I “give back” by helping to heal the earth and by supporting peeps who make it extra beautiful. I mean, Earth itself — I always think — is a work of art. So, I guess my two causes aren’t as different as they’d seem….

Check this piece by the brillers Michelle SaintOnge who, in case she looks familiar, is the one who taught Martha Stewart and audience to silkscreen their won bags! Ahh, the eye-catching beauty of the pink ELEPHANT in the room….

OMG love…. I HAVE to have this….

And ZEBRA….

MY EYES. This is too much for them. Oof! Stunning….

Another one of my favourite artists hails from NYC, and AMAZINGLY managed to secure a spot in this very elite art show — so elite that the “reject show” was supposedly INCREDIBLE (I didn’t get to go, but I heard this from friends). Her name’s Tracey Silva Barbosa. She’s a mom of a sweet three-year-old. And I want this painting in my bedroom because it’s dreamy and whimsical and quite simply utter perfection….

I can’t even handle the beauty that is this painting. Particularly the juxtaposition of hummingbirds and bonsai trees, and the numbers and gold ribbons. I love a good mixed media…. One day, I’ll buy THIS ONE….

I can’t HANDLE the gorgeousness….I am SO looking Tracey and her hubs up next time I’m in NYC. They are AMAZING. We had an awesome chat — about Rascal’s stinky diapey, among other things….

THIS GUY was also awesome….

His art is ridiculously realistic. I mean — LOOK AT THAT. And this….

My blackberry (which will soon be a PURPLEBERRY, if I have my way…, or maybe pink camo) camera does NOT do this beautiful art justice, so check Olaf Schneider’s website…. You WILL enjoy. I ASSURE…. I especially liked Olaf because, even though he was steeped in a phone call several feet away from the booth, he managed to nod and wave to me about three times while I was checking out his booth. I really appreciated that he gave me — a short, busty (BWAH!) poorly dressed mom — the time of day. Really. And he’s a SUPER HUGE Canadian artist (just look at his bio page, like OMG).

Of course, since I’m in the biz…, I had to check out the CHILDREN’S STUFF! Among various children’s art booths, I LOVED Mara Minuzzo‘s art — she obviously didn’t realize her graphics aren’t stealable (even via a MAC) on her website, so do yourself a favour and just check ‘em at her website. I love the horses, the black-and-white bed, and the little girl running in the water most! Mara’s not a children’s artist per se, but the deer and chipmunks and the little girl in the water? — would all look FAB in my monkeys’ rooms….

Finally (yes, finally…), I was SO EXCITED to meet Ms. Adrienne Gibb of Fabricawakuwaku, and I’m secretly hoping she’ll join my crew at Kids Deserve Art one day (like maybe when I actually get a professional to design the site…). Her handmade stuffed animals — made with recycled and vintage fabrics (AWE-SOME) — are seriously DA BOMB….

Of course, we splurged and bought Monkey and Rascal each a Fabricawakuwaku “Patch Rabbit.” Monkey chose the purple-and-pink one and Rascal the beige….

…Then she decided she wanted his. So, now he has the purple bunny and she the beige bunny. Evs.

I love that my kids have works of art for toys. Delish!

So, yeah, 1pm arrived SUPER FAST after all the artistic excitement. And, off I went to Yorkdale. I probably should have gone downtown for this new WARDROBE, but the big mall was convenient, and, besides, I don’t exactly want to STAND OUT at the BlogHer Conference (in, like, a week and a half, in Chicago). I kind of want to blend. I, at least, want to be myself. Which means…, you got it…, LULULEMONS. If none of you absolutely object, I WILL be sporting LULULEMONS at blogher. Probably with one of my signature funky tees and black running shoes. And, baby, it’s a BITCH to find black running shoes that aren’t leather. SO, I will be heading downtown some time this week to check what I’ve heard is one of the world’s best vegan shoe stores — right here in TO.

…Seriously, we looked at every shoe store in the mall. The salespeeps in one store even INSISTED that a pair of black canvas wedges would look HAWT with my Lulus. But, ermm…, NO. All the other canvas shoes in the mall were TOO FLAT, or too RIDICK….

I need the height — believe me — but I don’t need it THAT bad. I’m no TOM CRUISE.

I can’t BELIEVE how long this post is. I feel like I’ve been writing it for 20 years. SO, in case you haven’t had enough of my writing today, go check my ANOTHER post of mine over at Canada Moms Blog — “I’m not Pregnant. Just FAT.”

But, feel free to leave a comment here. I notice comments are lacking on ALL my fave bloggers’ blogs, and WE LOVES THE COMMENTS! Especially when we write long-arse posts…. We are a sensitive, needy people.

Love!

xo Haley-O

First of all, I have SO MUCH NEWS. And since I know you all want to hear about the finger-in-nose incident, I’ll be like The News and save the story with the most buzz for the end. So, you all have to read all this WORD FOR WORD first, okay?

FIRST FIRST. I have to mention a very important person: Cathy. The very first Kids Deserve Art artist. Look what she worked SO HARD on — to get out in ONE day so a little girl would have it on her birthday….

(As the wise old woman who taught me to teach yoga used to say in thick French accent…) CLOSER-CLOSER….

The little girl’s name is MADISON. How CEWWWT is that? Way to go, Cathy!

My little company Kids Deserve Art has been BU-SY lately. And we’re proud to say we’re having a great presence at two major Toronto children’s charities this month: earlier this month, we rocked the Silent Auction at Sunday in the Park with Lilah and, later this month, we’ll be rocking the Silent Auction at Bike for Tykes. I’m obviously really proud to be involved in these charities. Look for us at Bike for Tykes at the end of the month!

NEXT ITEM! My day (and night) job, bTrendie is sponsoring the MamaPop BlogHer party…. Check…IT:

See us? In the banner! Isn’t it pretty? SPARKLES! I have yet to put it on my sidebar. But, isn’t it GORJ? We’re also sponsoring the PEOPLE’S PARTY, and we have HOT-ARSE (that’s a hint) surprises in store for the Room 704 party. Yes, the company for which I am DIRECTOR, MEMBERSHIP & COMMUNITY is officially TAKING OVER BLOGHER.

And, whatchoo tellin’ me? You haven’t joined yet? DUDE? Support CHEATY! Heh. If you want to join, go to bTrendie and use ma code: CHEATY to get in. Love! …and thanks.

Okay, enough shameless self-pimpin’. Time to pimp some other peeps. So, last Thursday, I took my mom “it’sgrandma” out for her birthday….

First, I took her to Kristen Ma‘s LAUNCH party for her NEW BOOK, Beauty 2.0: A Holistic Guide to Natural Beauty for the Modern Age:

And my mom was so proud when I was chatting with the author herself and taking many photographs with her to get one half-decent good photo (I is un-photogenic!)….

Look at it’sgrandma in the background there. SO PROUD of me. Heh. My hair, by the way, definitely did NOT look that unbrushed. Although, come to think of it, I did go to the launch straight from a full day at the office; so maybe it was that disheveled. And, will you look at Kristen’s SKIN? Wanna get that skin? (BIG PIMPIN’: ) I’M GIVING AWAY THREE AUTOGRAPHED Beauty 2.0 books — filled with all Kristen’s GOLDEN secrets — to give away over at GOODIES later this week…. If you can’t wait for our contest, you can buy one at Amazon….

Kristen is the co-owner of Pure and Simple, aka my second home and the ONLY skincare and cosmetics lines I TOUCH. With a 10-foot pole. Isn’t she gorj….

So, the launch was held at Pure and Simple. It was FABULOUS. There were gorj ayurvedic platters set out (in keeping with her book), CUPPING sessions, makeup artists, and an ayurvedic doctor….

…the very Ayurvedic Doctor who stuck his fingers up my nose. Dr. S. R. Sharma. I met him at the launch. Yes, he took my pulse and told me….

“YOU ARE DOMINATED BY KAPHA!”

So, of course, I made an appointment immediately. I mean, no wonder I’m STILL not at the weight I’d like to be since Rascal was born. No wonder I’m often sluggish and tired. No wonder! I’m DOMINATED by Kapha! (And, so you know, us yogis take our ayurveda very seriously….)

Sooo…, the next day, I went to see Dr. Sharma. He treats all the celebs, apparently, so I knew I was in good hands…. Check him (fully posing for the pic, by the way — I asked him to) studying my info:

LOVE! After I told him my life story (kind of like how this post is turning into a LIFE STORY – EGAD – I’m. still. writing.), and then some, he determined that I am DOMINATED BY KAPHA and have a slight VATA imbalance. So, he got me to lie on this bed….

…and he did all this cool energy work on me.

…including….

STICKING HIS FINGERS UP MY NOSE!

Of course, I wasn’t prepared for it. But, I’m a yogi. So, I maintained my SAVASANA pose. And, I ACTUALLY DID NOT REACT! I just lay there — still with a straight, relaxed face! I surprise myself! Also, I was too busy marveling at the strange, like, camphor smell and the COLD sensation inside my nose…. For the rest of the session, I was thinking about my COLD nose.

AFTER the session, I asked Dr. Sharma about my nose. What is that smell? Why is it cold? What did you put in there? He said “NOTHING”! Apparently, he put NOTHING in my nose. He simply moved the energy around to create the sensation. And, then, when I thought of it? I realized the smell was the that dang CRACK I’m addicted to — STARBUCKS CHAI TEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I think that’s enough exclamation marks.)

He told me to look at his fingers, smell them. NOTHING. There was NO balm on them. NO trace of chai balm on them, Gorgeouses!

When I got home, my nose was still cold on the inside, especially when I wiggled it. So, I asked Josh to smell my nostrils. Were there any fumes emanating from them? NO. None.

So, anyway, to make a long story short(er)…. I have to go back to the centre for 5 days in a row for a FULL-ON cleanse. Wish me luck. Sharma better not stick his fingers anywhere else without warning. Eek! You never know! He wouldn’t! Right…!?

Okay, so, I’ll keep you posted on how that goes. Time for bed. And someone’s calling my name….

“MAMAHHHH!”

He’s teething. Looks like it’s going to be ANOTHER night of no sleep.

Stay tuned for the big BEAUTY BOOK contest. Coming later this week. Maybe even tomorrow, if I’m not too Kaphic….

Love!

xo Haley-O