I have been having a HAAAARD time lately. I’ve been really run down and anxious. My heart’s been pounding as if I’m on the verge of a panic attack. Sort of like I felt 24/7 when I was preggers. But, not that bad, THANK GOD. So, I’ve been trying to take it easy. Trying to get to bed no later than 11:30pm — which is a totally foreign concept for me. And, just this morning, I woke up at, ohhhhhhh, 11:30am!

Josh-O took the monkey to school, and it’sgrandma took her for lunch. I just lay in bed with the Rascal — feeding him now and then, putting him in his crib to play for a bit, and, then, finally, coercing him to sleep beside me. It was bliss. I felt completely rejuvenated.

…That is…, until now…, as monkey sits here SQUEEZING the carp out of my neck (”neck cuddling”), and Rascal SCREEEEAMS OUT for my attention. I mean, helllooooo!? Mommy deserves needs AT LEAST five minutes to herself during the day, no? Just a wee bit? No? Well, I think she does. I freaking think she does.

Yes, I think it’s time mommy had a little time to herself to do WORK on the biz, on the blog, to catch up on emails, or maybe to eat something, enjoy a cup of tea, read a little somethin’, cuddle for a bit with a little somethin’….

….And, if my sweet little Rascal doesn’t want to take a SINGLE FAREAKING NAP ALL DAY, that’s his prerogative. But, MOMMY’S gonna take her me-time — i.e., time that’s RIGHTFULLY, NECESSARILY HERS.

Because I’m no good to anyone if I’m run down and anxious and overtired and STARVING and straggly (must. get. haircut). I’m no good to anyone if I’m ALL MONKEYS ALL THE TIME. My monkeys deserve better. They deserve BEST. The best me.

So, from now on, Rascal’s napping, and Monkey’s playing on her own for at least a little while in the afternoon. And that’s that. Heh. I KNOW easier-said-than-done because HAVE SAID THIS BEFORE! But, this time, I mean BUSINESS!

If the anti-mommy-bloggers want to criticize me for blogging when I should be playing on the carpet every minute of the day with my kids…? See this? SUCK IT! It’s GOOD for kids to see their mommies at work, doing something FOR THEMSELVES. It’s good for kids to play independently for a while — especially after HOURS of being entertained. HOURS, I TELL YOU! I DESERVE a lunch break, a sick day, a coffee break. Yes, I do. And, I need it. I need it JUST AS MUCH as Mr. Joe Larry twiddling his thumbs in his cubicle all day needs his.

Yes, I’ve come to realize the work, the “me-time,” cannot wait ’til 9:30pm, when both monkeys decide to close their eyes for 2 hours the night. Because it’s making me crazy. I’m a WORK-AT-HOME MOM. That should not mean working ’til 3am or even 4am 2am every day…. Alas, this daily, nightly, grind IS KILLING ME! My kids are happy, HAPPY HAPPY. But, me? Not so much. No, something’s wrong with this picture.

Beyond the sheer exhaustion, moreover, I’m a human being in my own right, with a path and goals that should to be nourished and honoured, and this is a fundamental PART of being a good mother…. For part of being a good mother is SETTING A GOOD EXAMPLE.

My parents have noticed that I’ve been in this funk lately. They’ve noticed I’m run down and a little, dare I say…, depressed. DEPRESSED! So, the other night, when they went to the ballet — which I was SUPPOSED to go to, but, ALAS, I felt unready to leave Rascal for the whole evening — to see MY VERY FAVOURITE National Ballet of Canada Production, Cinderella, they decided to do something special for me…. They got me a GIFTY! Check it:

How pretty is that? A little box with a “slipper” covered in Swarovski crystals. So…PRETTY! SPARKLY (mama LOVES the SPARKLY). And, so out-of-nowhere. How SPECIAL I felt that they would do something so nice for ME (who?), out of nowhere. I mean, they do plenty of nice things for me (WHO?) — like taking care of the monkey…a lot! But, a special, unusual gift like this…FOR ME (WHO!!??).

It was a little gesture that brought me back to myself. Reminded me that I mattered. It can’t JUST be about the kids anymore. I matter. And, I need to matter to myself. My kids need to see me matter to myself.

And, look, Gorgeouses — they’re doing FINE on their own FOR FIVE MINUTES….

Oh, she wants to show you her “CALLERPILLAR”….

As part of infusing me-time into my day, I’d like to do more things that the kids and I can ALL enjoy together and that nourish ALL our spirits. Tomorrow, for example, we’re ALL going to make a collage….

And, by the way, you, Gorgeouses! You matter! Let’s all do something nice for ourselves and/or somebody else who needs “mattering”! Thank you…. LOVE. xo Haley-O

I love it when I START writing these posts after midnight…. I should probably just go to bed. Especially since tomorrow’s a HOLIDAY (shwing!) here in Canada. HOLIDAY should mean NO WORK. But, alas, I don’t think the words “NO WORK” are anywhere in my future — immediate or far off. I mean, ‘cuz, have you SEEN this site??

As if a gossip blog and a personal blog weren’t enough, I now have a “Kitchen,” a “Recommends” and a “Goodies” site? HOW to the WHEN to the WHERE, Haley-O? And, WHAT are all these sites?

Basically, Gorgeouses, it goes like this.

“Kitchen” is a food blog. It’s where I talk about everything from the incredible lunch I had, to recipes, menu plans, diet tips and pictures of celebrities eating….

“Recommends” is a place where I recommend stuff. I know, shocking. Like, today, for instance, we watched Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium and LOVED IT. So, CHEATY HIGHLY RECOMMENDED it in the Recommends blog. I know, it’s confusing…. Heh.

“Goodies” is a place where I hold fun stuff like CONTESTS and promotions. As a matter of fact, GET YOUR GORGEOUS ARSES OVER THERE NOW TO WIN A CLEK OLLI BOOSTER CAR SEAT!!!

Ahem.

Within the next couple of weeks, MOREOVER, the “art” site will be complete, and you’ll see some neat things over there, including a shopping cart system and some new artists.

Even MOREover, sometime in the very near future, we’ll have a forum here where you can divulge your cheatiest moments, share thoughts on TV shows, share recipes, etc.!

As for me…. I’m not expecting myself to write 5 blog posts, 5 days a week, sell art, cook dinners, breastfeed, lose baby weight, SHOWER, etc.. I’m going to just do the best I can. The site was a gift from Josh-O. It’s something that I plan to grow into and build. As the kids get older, I’ll have more time to devote to it. For now, I do my best.

It’s the same old blog, Gorgeouses. My shizzle. It’s just a little more organized and MUCH more beautiful (thank you to KAREN and LESLIE from SWANK WEBSTYLE DESIGN STUDIO for working their gorj arses off to create it!). Not that I know what “organized” means…. (What is this word “organized”?) And, I hope you’ll continue to feel at home here and enjoy.

LOVE!

xo Haley-O

And, we’re LIVE!

Finally! No time to chat now! Got work to do on all this and typing one-handed because someone’s hungry, as usual!

Details on what we have here later!

Much is unfinished: The art site, for eg. has yet to be unveiled! Widgets are to be added and modified, etc., etc.!