Dr. Sharma is a genius. Somehow, he made something click within me so that I FINALLY understand the connection between food and my emotions. I mean, EVERYONE knows almost EVERYONE emotionally overeats at times. And a vast majority of us, especially in this day and age — the age of STARBUCKS — are compulsive emotional eaters. I mean, seriously, tell me you ONLY eat when you’re hungry. No. Not possible. We eat when we’re physically hungry and EMOTIONALLY hungry. Or, even when we’re just plain emotional. As in my case.

This morning was not a particularly good morning for me. I woke up PISSED off. Believe it or not, this is actually part my Ayurvedic Detox. I’m SUPPOSED to feel angry and sad and anxious right now — because the doc’s cleansing me of YEARS of pent-up anger, sadness and anxiety. I mean, I’m a compulsive smiler. I don’t really DO anger…. But, it’s there. Just hidden. Not lately…. WWWATCH OUT!

Anyway, I was PISSED this morning. At everything. At everyone. So, of course, I wanted Starbucks. I thought, “There’s no way I can go to the office all PISSED off and tired and angry, and the apple and pumpkin seeds I ate for breakfast (as per my diet) simply will not do. I better go get a Starbucks.” So, I went to Starbucks. I opened the heavy glass door, looked inside, and saw the huge lineup. I then felt my stomach turn at the smell of the place and had to leave sans CHAI. I KID YOU NOT.

I got to the office, said a few quick, quiet hellos, sat down, and nibbled on some pumpkin seeds. “Not bad,” I thought, “actually not bad.”

Several meetings and conference calls later, I was FLYING. I felt great. Really happy and looking forward to seeing my little Monkeys. I thought, “I feel great right now! Actually happy!” Then I thought, “STARBUCKS!”

Apparently, I couldn’t handle the HAPPY! I NEEDED a Starbucks to mask the HAPPY! Helloooo?

That’s when it hit me. Epiphany. I can understand eating when you’re stressed out. You don’t WANT the PAIN, so you try to STUFF IT DOWN with food. I’ve always understood that. But, why would I want to stuff down HAPPY?

EPIPHANY: I cannot deal with my emotions AT ALL. The second they show up, good or bad, I freak out and run to food.

I didn’t have that chai, no. After realizing how I’ve been USING the chai, I knew I didn’t need it. I WANTED to start facing my emotions head on and to ride them out. It was definitely an AH-HAH moment!

I challenged myself to ride out the HAPPY. And it felt good.

It felt WAY better than the indigestion and heaviness I feel AFTER I drink away my joys and sorrows.

It’s ON, Emotions. I’m ready to face you head on. And, yeah. I’m ready to like you. All of you. Bring it on, Baby, Bring. It. ON!

Love!

xo Haley-O

Now, please, I’ll be okay, Gorgeouses! I’ll figure this out. The 4am bedtime last night was ONLY because it was Father’s Day. I couldn’t send the kids off with Josh for the morning and do my work, as I usually do if necessary on Sundays, and our family party ended way late. I didn’t get to work until 10pm-ish, by the time the kids were tucked in….

So, yes, I’m going to bed. ASAP. I just wanted to stop in and tell you how HELLISH this day was — gotta write this for myself, really, because I need to get this out of my system so I can maybe clear my head, relax and have a good night’s sleep.

Because I’m functioning on 2 hrs of sleep, we’re going point form, BABY! — ooo, bullets! fancy! I didn’t realize I had that formatting option, LOVE! (AND, the bullets don’t work…EDIT.)

- Nanny Rachel took the day off today (she gave me TONS of notice, of course, cuz she’s that awesome).
- Thought I would take the kids out, maybe to the giant bookstore, or Casa Loma.
- We were all TRES excited about the day.
- But, then I realized I had to deliver some art first thing in the morning….
- And, then I realized I had a conference call at 12:30.
- And, then I realized I had an ASAP deadline for some bTrendie copy.
- And, then I realized I still had to finish the post I started at Canada Moms Blog before it got published with how many typos and unfinished thoughts?
- So, instead of Casa Loma, we spent the morning in the living room.
- Rascal sat on my lap.
- I typed copy one-handed.
- Rascal choked on some cereal, like, for real!
- I whacked the crap out of his back until he could breathe again.
- Then I thanked God I didn’t have to dig into the deep recesses of my mind for memories of the infant-Heimlich course I took 3 years ago, AND, of course, FOR SAVING RASCAL!
- The rest of the day was beyond struggling.
- My heart spent most of the day outside my chest, pounding it like Tarzan. AAAAaaaAAaaAAAaaa!
- I guiltfully and regretfully relied on Igor to babysit the kids while I met my deadlines (NANNY RACHEL, I NEED YOU!).
- ALL AT ONCE: I gave the kids lunch in the front yard; had a conference call with my bTrendie peeps; answered the door to a Kids Deserve Art client — I, frazzled with frizzy hair, no makeup, and cat-hair covered Lululemons….I HAVE NEVER!; and chased the kids; and chased the kids.
- Thank God for my neighbours.
- Thank God for the mute button on my phone.
- Especially since I had to take Monkey to the washroom at least twice during the call.
- No, she will not go to the washroom by herself.
- She’s scared.
- Of everything.
- We all napped for a bit after that.
- Rascal said BAGEL after that — “BAJAH.”
- We played with the neighbours after that.
- Thank God for my neighbours (and for bagels).
- Monkey was a handful (to put it mildly) throughout the manic Monday.
- She’s still awake.
- Yes, now.
- Sitting right here.
- Cuddling my neck (her signature quirk).
- Thank God for neck cuddles.

Tomorrow’s my last Ayurvedic appointment in this initial 5-day program. The treatment’s brought up a LOT of intense emotions for me, which I’m working hard to manage in the middle of all this chaos. I’ll tell you more about it, and I’ll finally RUN THE KRISTEN MA BEAUTY BOOK CONTEST, as soon as I get a spare minute. Until then, I’ll give you this: I highly recommend going to an Ayurvedic practioner (MINE, of course) as alternative therapy. I’ve basically commissioned him (and HOT-ARSE kickboxing teach, mmm…) to help me get the rest of my preggers weight off. BUT, you have to have an open mind, as well as open nostrils and ear holes…. And you have to be open for the odd wardrobe malfunction…. You have to trust this Indian Wizard Dr. Sharma and the age-old gifts of Ayurveda. Yeah, s’all good. So good. So part of my Yoga path. Something a little out there…and all FOR ME. Besides, Sharma’s totally loveable when you get to know him!

I’m too tired to post pics today — so, only one for the road….

LOVE! He loves his sister…. (That car looked A LOT smaller at the Toys ‘R US….)

FIRST FIRST. I have to mention a very important person: Cathy. The very first Kids Deserve Art artist. Look what she worked SO HARD on — to get out in ONE day so a little girl would have it on her birthday….

(As the wise old woman who taught me to teach yoga used to say in thick French accent…) CLOSER-CLOSER….

The little girl’s name is MADISON. How CEWWWT is that? Way to go, Cathy!

My little company Kids Deserve Art has been BU-SY lately. And we’re proud to say we’re having a great presence at two major Toronto children’s charities this month: earlier this month, we rocked the Silent Auction at Sunday in the Park with Lilah and, later this month, we’ll be rocking the Silent Auction at Bike for Tykes. I’m obviously really proud to be involved in these charities. Look for us at Bike for Tykes at the end of the month!

NEXT ITEM! My day (and night) job, bTrendie is sponsoring the MamaPop BlogHer party…. Check…IT:

See us? In the banner! Isn’t it pretty? SPARKLES! I have yet to put it on my sidebar. But, isn’t it GORJ? We’re also sponsoring the PEOPLE’S PARTY, and we have HOT-ARSE (that’s a hint) surprises in store for the Room 704 party. Yes, the company for which I am DIRECTOR, MEMBERSHIP & COMMUNITY is officially TAKING OVER BLOGHER.

And, whatchoo tellin’ me? You haven’t joined yet? DUDE? Support CHEATY! Heh. If you want to join, go to bTrendie and use ma code: CHEATY to get in. Love! …and thanks.

Okay, enough shameless self-pimpin’. Time to pimp some other peeps. So, last Thursday, I took my mom “it’sgrandma” out for her birthday….

First, I took her to Kristen Ma‘s LAUNCH party for her NEW BOOK, Beauty 2.0: A Holistic Guide to Natural Beauty for the Modern Age:

And my mom was so proud when I was chatting with the author herself and taking many photographs with her to get one half-decent good photo (I is un-photogenic!)….

Look at it’sgrandma in the background there. SO PROUD of me. Heh. My hair, by the way, definitely did NOT look that unbrushed. Although, come to think of it, I did go to the launch straight from a full day at the office; so maybe it was that disheveled. And, will you look at Kristen’s SKIN? Wanna get that skin? (BIG PIMPIN’: ) I’M GIVING AWAY THREE AUTOGRAPHED Beauty 2.0 books — filled with all Kristen’s GOLDEN secrets — to give away over at GOODIES later this week…. If you can’t wait for our contest, you can buy one at Amazon….

Kristen is the co-owner of Pure and Simple, aka my second home and the ONLY skincare and cosmetics lines I TOUCH. With a 10-foot pole. Isn’t she gorj….

So, the launch was held at Pure and Simple. It was FABULOUS. There were gorj ayurvedic platters set out (in keeping with her book), CUPPING sessions, makeup artists, and an ayurvedic doctor….

…the very Ayurvedic Doctor who stuck his fingers up my nose. Dr. S. R. Sharma. I met him at the launch. Yes, he took my pulse and told me….

“YOU ARE DOMINATED BY KAPHA!”

So, of course, I made an appointment immediately. I mean, no wonder I’m STILL not at the weight I’d like to be since Rascal was born. No wonder I’m often sluggish and tired. No wonder! I’m DOMINATED by Kapha! (And, so you know, us yogis take our ayurveda very seriously….)

Sooo…, the next day, I went to see Dr. Sharma. He treats all the celebs, apparently, so I knew I was in good hands…. Check him (fully posing for the pic, by the way — I asked him to) studying my info:

LOVE! After I told him my life story (kind of like how this post is turning into a LIFE STORY – EGAD – I’m. still. writing.), and then some, he determined that I am DOMINATED BY KAPHA and have a slight VATA imbalance. So, he got me to lie on this bed….

…and he did all this cool energy work on me.

…including….

STICKING HIS FINGERS UP MY NOSE!

Of course, I wasn’t prepared for it. But, I’m a yogi. So, I maintained my SAVASANA pose. And, I ACTUALLY DID NOT REACT! I just lay there — still with a straight, relaxed face! I surprise myself! Also, I was too busy marveling at the strange, like, camphor smell and the COLD sensation inside my nose…. For the rest of the session, I was thinking about my COLD nose.

AFTER the session, I asked Dr. Sharma about my nose. What is that smell? Why is it cold? What did you put in there? He said “NOTHING”! Apparently, he put NOTHING in my nose. He simply moved the energy around to create the sensation. And, then, when I thought of it? I realized the smell was the that dang CRACK I’m addicted to — STARBUCKS CHAI TEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I think that’s enough exclamation marks.)

He told me to look at his fingers, smell them. NOTHING. There was NO balm on them. NO trace of chai balm on them, Gorgeouses!

When I got home, my nose was still cold on the inside, especially when I wiggled it. So, I asked Josh to smell my nostrils. Were there any fumes emanating from them? NO. None.

So, anyway, to make a long story short(er)…. I have to go back to the centre for 5 days in a row for a FULL-ON cleanse. Wish me luck. Sharma better not stick his fingers anywhere else without warning. Eek! You never know! He wouldn’t! Right…!?

Okay, so, I’ll keep you posted on how that goes. Time for bed. And someone’s calling my name….

“MAMAHHHH!”

He’s teething. Looks like it’s going to be ANOTHER night of no sleep.

Stay tuned for the big BEAUTY BOOK contest. Coming later this week. Maybe even tomorrow, if I’m not too Kaphic….

Love!

xo Haley-O