Wrestle the dog.
Wrestle the cat.
Let out the dog.
Boil some water.
Let in the dog.
Give her her favourite all-natural, vegan “boney.”
But first, make her sit. Gentle….
Make lemon water: squeeze the hell out of lemon, pour water on top, then the freshly boiled water.
Make cat food with leftover boiled water.
Prepare Maaarge’s meds.
Wait patiently as Maaarge tries to eat her meds.
Attempt to drink lemon water and pop first herbal med of the day.
Bring lemon water upstairs without spilling.
Turn on all the lights and wake up sleepy heads.
But first! Stare at the Rascal’s adorably large, heavily-blonde-lashed eyelids as he begins to stir (inevitably) in my bed.
Take out clothes for the Monkey, dump them on her bed and savour the cuteness of her sweet morning breath as she dozes, still as a log on her messy pink bed.
Yell in the shower, “Wake up, sleepy heads!”
Someone comes in and asks twenty-seven questions: “Is it the weekend?” “Can we have a toy today?” “When is it the weekend?” “Mama, are you going to work today?”
Someone else comes in: “Do we have swimming today?” “I’m tiiiiiired.” “Mama, am I having lunch with Grandma?” “I don’t wanna go to swimming.” “Is this Queen Elizabeth’s necklace?”
“JOSH! Wake up!”
Get out of the shower, brush teeth, floss, attempt skincare regime and get dressed, while drinking lemon juice and not spilling.
Help the Rascal with his socks.
Leave Josh to finish up with the kids and run downstairs.
Make kids’ breakfast.
Fill steel water bottles and insert ice packs into lunch boxes. Place all in backpacks.
Brush the Monkey’s hair.
Make green smoothie.
Write lunch notes.
Feed the monkeys.
Give Rascal probiotics, and vitamin D drops to both.
Wash blender and kids’ breakfast dishes.
Put on makeup in the dining room as kids get their coats and shoes on and ask me thirty-four questions.
Kiss Josh goodbye and send him off with the Monkey (if he’s still home).
Take the Rascal to school (or both kids if Josh is away or at early morning meeting).
Chat with teachers.
Head to work listening to Cosmo‘s Wake Up with Taylor, drinking green smoothie without spilling.
Walk into office and say hello to awesome colleagues.
Stop for 2-minute grocery run or fresh green juice if there’s time.
Let out the dog.
Run to the school in 5 minutes.
Pick up the Rascal.
Stand, wait, talk to parents, watch the Rascal play.
Pick up the Monkey.
Stand, wait, talk to parents, watch the Monkey play.
Walk home with the kids in 40 minutes.
Go to programs (if have them).
Ride the stationary bike for 30 minutes while dinner cooks.
Clean up dinner as Josh bathes the kids and reads stories.
Feed Betty White.
Let out Betty White.
Kiss the kids goodnight.
Make the kids lunches and snacks for tomorrow.
Make my lunch.
Soak beans and/or grains and prep dinner for tomorrow.
Wrestle the dog if she’s not already in bed.
Give kitties cookies and fill bowls with water.
Next week: Back to early morning YOGA. Somehow….