So, NEWSFLASH: I have high cholesterol.

My doc gave me the great news last Wednesday. Which was perfect because Josh was out of town all week so I was freaking out that I was heading for a heart attack all by myself all week. He’s home now, but I’m over it. My cholesterol’s not THAT high. And I guess I’m lucky we caught it while I’m in my mid-thirties. CRAZY that I have this in my mid-thirties. SCARY that I have this in my mid-thirties — especially since my family has seen some major heart issues this year.

I’m so lucky, though. This is a good, gentle kind of wake-up call. The Glinda of wake-up calls. Very thankful.

When I first heard the news, though, I got a little depressed. And, sadly, I found myself relieved that Josh was away so I couldn’t make it out to the Yoga shala. I just suddenly felt like I was morbidly obese, and I was embarrassed to be there and dreading those Marichyasana twists. Also, I’m a vegan. What’s a proud vegan yogi doing with high cholesterol? I felt guilty as charged — only I can’t remember the last time I ate anything to do with animals (other than the odd piece of birthday cake).

My doctor says this is most likely a weight thing or a hereditary thing, which I hope doesn’t mean that I’m destined for LIPATOR or whatever that cholesterol drug is called. Because I won’t do it. As I’ve said before, I’d rather not pee those meds into our rivers, lakes and oceans — I’m just not that important.

But I’m the most important person in the world to at least two very important people.

I need to be my absolute healthiest for my kids. So I’m going to fix this. The first thing I need to do is stop being weirdly afraid to lose weight, and, of course, I need to lose weight now. I mean REALLY lose weight — not lose it for a week and then gain it back. I need to change my lifestyle and just chill about this.

I know I’m not a sick person. I’m totally strong and capable of turning this thing around. Watch me, Gorgeouses. I’m in a better mood, and I’m making changes. My big thing is cutting out the sugar, which I hear creates cholesterol or something, and I need to eat frequent meals (the doc gave me a whole guide). Plus I’m reading Allen Carr’s Lose Weight Now, which is supposed to hypnotize you into losing weight, and no matter how I feel about myself and my diagnosis, I have to get my arse to the yoga shala and sweat it out among all those gorj, sweaty, inspiring people…. I’ll keep you posted!

Gotta go for now, my kitty wants to cuddle.

Okay, so while I’m busy cleaning up my entire act, you need to go out and pick up the June issue of Today’s Parent Magazine! (We’ll talk about that next time…. People are stopping me in the streets!) Open it up to p. 33, and you’ll see my latest print article and PHOTOS of celebrity trainer Harley Pasternak and me working out together. The issue came out at the perfect time, ahem, because the camera definitely adds 10 pounds….

Love!

xo Haley-O