Why? WHY do kids love pressing buttons?

I’m not talking door or elevator buttons — although they love them, too — I’m talking my buttons. Why do my kids love pressing my buttons? Like, the hottest buttons they can find? “Let’s piss Mama off” might as well be their mantra lately.

Now that I have to scramble the Monkey off to (FULL-DAY) camp early in the morning, my mornings have become chaos — a cacophony of button pressing by both her and her brother.

Is it that entertaining for them to watch me writhe? Or is it just plain fun to be obnoxious, like, for obnoxious’ sake? Have I forgotten the joy of obnoxiousness? Obnoxion! (OED people: “Obnoxion” should definitely be a word, FYI.)

Maybe I should just try to be obnoxious with them, then? As in “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.” Just let it all out and be obnoxious. Yes! I’ll just press their buttons…. Mwahaha! Theirs. I will! I will do it! I will press their buttons! My new mantra: “Let’s piss off the children! Mwahaha!” I can hear it now (can you hear it now?): “Mamaaaa! NOOOOO! NooooOOOooo! Mama! Stoooop it!” And then he’ll cry. The Rascal will cry. Because that’s what he does. All the time. But that’s another blog post.

I’ll keep you posted. On Operation Obnoxion. I probably won’t do it. But, a mother can dream. A mother can vent. On her blog….

To calm my nerves and get healthy and in shape, I’ve been doing Ashtanga Vinyasa Yoga every morning. A key element of the practice is drishti, or gazing. The problem is, when I practice drishti, I’m gazing at, erm, this….

When I go to lie down at the end of my rigorous practice in the all-important savasana pose, I see this if I dare open my eyes….

Betty White! Gahh. That black mass on the bottom would be my bosom, fyi. And never mind cleaning my mat at the end of a sweaty session because….

It’s okay, though, because Minden does it anyway….

Anyway, before Betty White eats the latest issue of Today’s Parent….

I have to show you a little something-something on the inside….

Closer….

Tada! ME! I’m the third name down in the TODAYSPARENT.COM section. Woohoo! And those are my peeps! My beautiful, awesome, beyond-nice (I love that) colleagues. Love love love. So, pick up your issue of Today’s Parent IN STANDS FRIDAY!

Love!

xo Haley-O

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