Sometimes I forget that she’s still so little. At almost 5, she’s a whole 26 months older than her brother who demands so much. I go to hug her, and there he is, sandwiched between us. I kiss her good morning, and there he is, pitter-patter-pitter-patter by my side. I unravel the yoga mats, and there he is, beneath my downward dog. I pick her up from school, and there he is, holding my hand. I watched her twirl and jump and dance her little heart out on stage yesterday, and there he was, begging me for apple juice. But, she’s still my baby. Always.

She was the littlest one in her class, but she had the biggest cheeks of all, and she brung it at the show last night! And I hooted and hollered in the audience — “GO, MONKEY! WOOHOO!” — much to Josh’s embarrassment. And I was a little embarrassed (which takes a lot these days, I must say) by my own hoot-and-hollering. But, I remember my mother doing it for me when I took the stage — “GO, HALEY! WOOHOO!”

My mother was always uncharacteristically aggressive when it came to her kids (still is), even if it meant being totally embarrassing. So when I went to pick the Monkey up at the end of the night, remembering my mother, I politely pushed my way through a crowd of parents to get to the very front. Nothing stopped my mother. Nothing’s going to stop me.

And nothing stopped that show! Two shows — 3 hours long, each! By the end of the night, never mind her, I was exhausted, starving, and giddy. The Monkey, on the other hand, wanted to just go home and watch Strawberry Shortcake. I’ve got a cheaty little nighthawk on my hands. Of course, her brother wanted to watch, too.

I cried a lot yesterday. Not only because I’ve been overwhelmed with so much stuff lately, but because I was so proud, and so sad, and so exhausted (7 hours of watching other people’s kids dance will do that to you). She’s my baby. My cheaty little monkey. The Cheaty Monkey!

I guess the best thing about these dance recitals is the way they make us celebrate our kids. Our babies. Still my baby.

I love you, Monkey — so much, I’ll shout it to the world. Woohoo!

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