Jackie Kennedy….

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Sophia Loren….

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These are the women who always come to mind when I think of Zelda. If you saw her picture, you’d think her just as lovely, elegant and classy as these two women. You’d be surprised she wasn’t an icon in her own right in her day. If you knew her she would have inspired you.

She passed away today.

When I think of her now, I feel the usual palpable silence you feel when someone dies — that present absence — and I feel her energy. I feel her elegance. It surrounds me, engulfs me, gives me chills. It inspires me, even as my eyes well up and the tears trickle down my tired cheeks. All strange reactions I didn’t expect when my parents told me a few days ago that her death was imminent.

Zelda was 78 years old, my cousin, my late Grandma Betty’s niece.

She was the artist in the family that I looked up to. A brilliant painter.

At one time, I was her inspiration. She painted me when I was one year old because I was “something special,” she said….

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Her signature, the date — she in her prime, and I so new….

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She left so many paintings and drawings behind. Her still, strong, charming energy lives on through them and through all those who loved her (everyone loved her)….

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The myriad drawings and paintings she left behind reveal the darker, sublime internal world of the outwardly elegant, regal, poised artist…. I always noticed that. I always related to that.

And even though Zelda was so perfectly put together — she never wanted you to see her looking anything but her best, despite the cancer and near-blindness that plagued her for so long — she was the warmest, kindest, most nurturing woman. So close to perfection.

I’m glad Josh and I always made an effort to see her when we were in Montreal — even if our short visits had to take place in the driveway because the kids fell asleep in the car (that one time). A woman in her late seventies, with her elegant Jackie-Kennedy hair, soft cream turtleneck and pressed taupe pants, playing on the plush floor of her living room with my children.

I can’t do her justice as hard as I try.

She inspires me to be better. She was elegant. I’m self-deprecating. I stumble. My foot is in my mouth as we speak. Always. She was humble. Beautiful. Charismatic. Cherished. Loved. Admired. Kind. Nurturing. Creative. Strong. Devoted.

Love you Zelda….

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