EVERYONE knows that here at Cheaty Monkey we like a good phallic toy. Remember this one (scroll way down)?

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You all thought THAT was phallic. WELL, CHECK THIS OUT (discovered this afternoon at the pediatrician’s office):

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BELIEVE me, the mom sitting beside me in the waiting room was not amused by my phallic-toy picture-taking, not one bit. Perhaps a little bit curious, yes — but definitely a lot appalled. (THE THINGS I DO FOR YOU, Gorgeouses!) Now, more importantly, can you guess what this is? It’s a snake.

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As if snake toys weren’t phallic enough, they had to put a PENIS on top of it? And they had to make the PENIS an instrumental part of this toy, so that, when you press it down, the snake IT GLOWS!

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Of course, Monkey loved it. And it was a welcome distraction. For five minutes she stopped asking me about “The Human Body”:

Mama, what’s inside your ear? Eardrums.

Mama, what’s inside your head? Your Brain.

Mama, what’s inside your tongue? Umm….

Mama, what’s inside your nipple? Uhh….

It’s only a matter of time before she asks me how EXACTLY she got inside my tummy. And, I’ll just be honest with her. After all, I have no problem telling her DAILY that “Mama squeezed you out of her vagina.” Of course, while I was at the pediatrician’s for Monkey’s check up today, I asked the doc what I should do when the question arises, and he confirmed that honesty is the best strategy. Hear that, Nap Warden?

WHICH brings me to my next question. CLOTHES OR PAJAMAS?

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I say CLOTHES, but Josh INSISTS these are pajamas. Let’s have a POLL in the comments, shall we? Prove me RIGHT, Gorgeouses…. Or, as I did to monkey the other day (for good reason, don’t be alarmed), I’ll force you to drink one of my GREEN SMOOTHIES.

Hey, I’m over at Canada Moms Blog at some point today, talking about my VEGAN self.

And, HEY, check me over at Cheaty Kitchen making a brand new CHAI that’s BETTER THAN STARBUCKS. Thanks to my nutritionist/energy worker (and author of my fave food book) Caroline Dupont for bringin’ it!

PAJAMAS OR CLOTHES?

Love!

xo Haley-O


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