First of all, I have SO MUCH NEWS. And since I know you all want to hear about the finger-in-nose incident, I’ll be like The News and save the story with the most buzz for the end. So, you all have to read all this WORD FOR WORD first, okay?

FIRST FIRST. I have to mention a very important person: Cathy. The very first Kids Deserve Art artist. Look what she worked SO HARD on — to get out in ONE day so a little girl would have it on her birthday….

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(As the wise old woman who taught me to teach yoga used to say in thick French accent…) CLOSER-CLOSER….

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The little girl’s name is MADISON. How CEWWWT is that? Way to go, Cathy!

My little company Kids Deserve Art has been BU-SY lately. And we’re proud to say we’re having a great presence at two major Toronto children’s charities this month: earlier this month, we rocked the Silent Auction at Sunday in the Park with Lilah and, later this month, we’ll be rocking the Silent Auction at Bike for Tykes. I’m obviously really proud to be involved in these charities. Look for us at Bike for Tykes at the end of the month!

NEXT ITEM! My day (and night) job, bTrendie is sponsoring the MamaPop BlogHer party…. Check…IT:

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See us? In the banner! Isn’t it pretty? SPARKLES! I have yet to put it on my sidebar. But, isn’t it GORJ? We’re also sponsoring the PEOPLE’S PARTY, and we have HOT-ARSE (that’s a hint) surprises in store for the Room 704 party. Yes, the company for which I am DIRECTOR, MEMBERSHIP & COMMUNITY is officially TAKING OVER BLOGHER.

And, whatchoo tellin’ me? You haven’t joined yet? DUDE? Support CHEATY! Heh. If you want to join, go to bTrendie and use ma code: CHEATY to get in. Love! …and thanks.

Okay, enough shameless self-pimpin’. Time to pimp some other peeps. So, last Thursday, I took my mom “it’sgrandma” out for her birthday….

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First, I took her to Kristen Ma’s LAUNCH party for her NEW BOOK, Beauty 2.0: A Holistic Guide to Natural Beauty for the Modern Age:

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And my mom was so proud when I was chatting with the author herself and taking many photographs with her to get one half-decent good photo (I is un-photogenic!)….

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Look at it’sgrandma in the background there. SO PROUD of me. Heh. My hair, by the way, definitely did NOT look that unbrushed. Although, come to think of it, I did go to the launch straight from a full day at the office; so maybe it was that disheveled. And, will you look at Kristen’s SKIN? Wanna get that skin? (BIG PIMPIN’: ) I’M GIVING AWAY THREE AUTOGRAPHED Beauty 2.0 books — filled with all Kristen’s GOLDEN secrets — to give away over at GOODIES later this week…. If you can’t wait for our contest, you can buy one at Amazon….

Kristen is the co-owner of Pure and Simple, aka my second home and the ONLY skincare and cosmetics lines I TOUCH. With a 10-foot pole. Isn’t she gorj….

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So, the launch was held at Pure and Simple. It was FABULOUS. There were gorj ayurvedic platters set out (in keeping with her book), CUPPING sessions, makeup artists, and an ayurvedic doctor….

…the very Ayurvedic Doctor who stuck his fingers up my nose. Dr. S. R. Sharma. I met him at the launch. Yes, he took my pulse and told me….

“YOU ARE DOMINATED BY KAPHA!”

So, of course, I made an appointment immediately. I mean, no wonder I’m STILL not at the weight I’d like to be since Rascal was born. No wonder I’m often sluggish and tired. No wonder! I’m DOMINATED by Kapha! (And, so you know, us yogis take our ayurveda very seriously….)

Sooo…, the next day, I went to see Dr. Sharma. He treats all the celebs, apparently, so I knew I was in good hands…. Check him (fully posing for the pic, by the way — I asked him to) studying my info:

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LOVE! After I told him my life story (kind of like how this post is turning into a LIFE STORY – EGAD – I’m. still. writing.), and then some, he determined that I am DOMINATED BY KAPHA and have a slight VATA imbalance. So, he got me to lie on this bed….

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…and he did all this cool energy work on me.

…including….

STICKING HIS FINGERS UP MY NOSE!

Of course, I wasn’t prepared for it. But, I’m a yogi. So, I maintained my SAVASANA pose. And, I ACTUALLY DID NOT REACT! I just lay there — still with a straight, relaxed face! I surprise myself! Also, I was too busy marveling at the strange, like, camphor smell and the COLD sensation inside my nose…. For the rest of the session, I was thinking about my COLD nose.

AFTER the session, I asked Dr. Sharma about my nose. What is that smell? Why is it cold? What did you put in there? He said “NOTHING”! Apparently, he put NOTHING in my nose. He simply moved the energy around to create the sensation. And, then, when I thought of it? I realized the smell was the that dang CRACK I’m addicted to — STARBUCKS CHAI TEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I think that’s enough exclamation marks.)

He told me to look at his fingers, smell them. NOTHING. There was NO balm on them. NO trace of chai balm on them, Gorgeouses!

When I got home, my nose was still cold on the inside, especially when I wiggled it. So, I asked Josh to smell my nostrils. Were there any fumes emanating from them? NO. None.

So, anyway, to make a long story short(er)…. I have to go back to the centre for 5 days in a row for a FULL-ON cleanse. Wish me luck. Sharma better not stick his fingers anywhere else without warning. Eek! You never know! He wouldn’t! Right…!?

Okay, so, I’ll keep you posted on how that goes. Time for bed. And someone’s calling my name….

“MAMAHHHH!”

He’s teething. Looks like it’s going to be ANOTHER night of no sleep.

Stay tuned for the big BEAUTY BOOK contest. Coming later this week. Maybe even tomorrow, if I’m not too Kaphic….

Love!

xo Haley-O

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