I’ve been doing a lot of different things lately. Some things I’m really proud of, and some not so much….

On Saturday night, for example, Josh-O and I and the kids went out in the backyard and found ourselves, not a minute later, at our next-door neighbours’ backyard party. Actually Monkey crashed the party and we followed. It was a small party, and they are MAJOR Italiano — so we were showered with port and chocolate cake and freezies for the kids and PARTY FAVOURS. Monkey loves their almost-7-year-old daughter, “G,” now. She always wants to go play with “G.”

So, late yesterday afternoon, while I was grimacing in the backyard, “G” emerged with her mom “M,” herself grimacing. M and I sat on the stairs in her backyard and just vented about late-afternoon motherhood as Rascal, Monkey and G played. Monkey and Rascal got more freezies, and I left an hour or so later — when Josh-O arrived home from work — smiling, and feeling a lot better about life.

We’re like the girl’s of 227. Hanging out outside the house, just shooting the sh*t….

227_cast

I’m lucky. Aside from one neighbour — ahem — I’ve got some great, hot mamas to commiserate play with in the neighbourhood!

Speaking of hot mamas (and perhaps why I’m a little lackluster?)…. I DID NOT HAVE A CHAI TEA LATTE TODAY….

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That’s right. NO CHAI. Because I’ve made a pact. It’s called HOT ASS PACT 2009. Right now there are a whole four of us: me,  @sarcasticmomLC, @karensugarpants and @MrsFlinger — all funny ladies who want their arses HOT within a month…. Because we don’t think we can give up our addictions for longer than that. (Although, as my loved ones, my scale, and my pocket book know, I really must.) Instead of the chai, I’ve re-discovered an old low-cal/low-sugar favourite of mine….

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And I had TWO of ‘em today: a chai tea BAG with a splash of soy milk and some agave nectar — which is basically honey but without the high GI rating. And don’t worry, this is not about losing weight (been there done WITH THAT). No, it’s about GAINING a HOT ASS. Heh.

And, finally, speaking of hot asses…. I was JUST joking around with Howard Stern on twitter. I told him….

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I’m pretty sure I tweeted this after sharing a margarita with another neighbour of mine (and we all know how low a tolerance I have for ANY stimulant) because OMG. Would I ever? Well, I honestly didn’t think I’d be faced with this dilemma. But, then, just today, I got this tweet from, who else but, HOWARD_STERN….

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Easy enough…, I showed him my squirrel. But, then I got a Direct Message, which means, OMG — that THAT ONE lucky person that Howard_Stern is following? See up there, in the yellow box? 1 following and 15,365 followers? That ONE person he’s following is ME. ME!!! Wonder why……. Anyway, the Direct Message said, simply….

twitterdm

Of course, I shrieked. In front of my kids. And I got all flustered and freaked out and started taking my top off and getting out the camera. But, then…. I started THINKING….

a) I WAS only joking.

b) It’s probably, as @alimartell said, not the REAL Howard Stern but some “prepubescent or old man”….

c) I was PROBABLY drunk when I wrote the tweet….

d) My mom won’t let me….

e) Josh-O won’t let me (although he’s torn because “a deal’s a deal” and “HAAAALEY!!!”)….

e) My mom (an avid Stern fan) says it can’t be Howard because Howard’s on holiday and talks on his show about how he doesn’t do social media….

But, what if….

I mean, would I? At this point in my life, I’ve shown at least a hundred people my boobs — I mean mainly because of that one time, when I was nursing Rascal, and he delatched and totally exposed my humungous naked lactating breasts JUST as the entire congregation at my synagogue was let out of services and heading (like a  STAMPEDE, as I remember it) straight toward me. (We won’t go into the whole thing about that old lady in the lace Kippah pointing her finger at me, “SYNAGOGUE IS NO PLACE FOR BREASTFEEDING — THERE ARE MEN HERE! LEAVE!”)

Anyway. I hate being a wimp. And I DO love Howard. And @Howard_Stern DID follow me…. But, when I said “show you ma boobs,” I MIGHT have meant showing them FULLY CLOTHED…? UNDER MY CAT? I mean, I could get poetic with it…. What do YOU think?

I am CRAZY. I know. But, crazy keeps things interesting and different. Right?

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