I’ve been ranting long posts about the monkeys all week. So, I’m not going to talk about them today…, except to say that, no, I did not sleep last night, but, yes, today was a little bit better — probably because Obama was in Canada bringing us all a little hope….

God, that man is so gorj…..

So, no, we’re not going to talk about the kids. We’re going to talk about me and the carp I enjoy, and my little Tatiana Del Toro style identity crisis….

….And how much I love Danny Gokey…. Leave it to American Idol to exploit the poor guy’s tragedy for ratings — his wife died only 4 weeks ago…. But, exploiting Danny’s not so easy, as long as he can help it. When Ryan Seacrest asked Danny what he was envisioning when he sang Mariah Carey’s Hero Tuesday night, instead of answering the obvious “my dead wife,” Danny replied that he was just thinking about inspiring others to move on and be strong in the face of adversity. Respect, man. Respect. Peace out. Because that was all class. The tragedy, however, WILL get him votes. Lots of votes. I, of course, canNOT vote — because I’m in Canada — but, if I could, I’d vote for Danny, not because of his story, but because he’s got a velvet voice and he looks like Robert Downey Junior. LOVE! (I’d also vote for Tatiana because I couldn’t get enough; and talk about exploitation…. Yikes! Poor girl.)

….And how much this guy, Jon Lajoie FROM Montreal (hollah Canada!), has singlehandedly resurrected my abs because HE MAKES ME LAUGH SO HARD (brought to you by JOSH-O, who insisted on taking full credit). This video? Brillers. Enjoy…. Laugh HARD…. (PS. It’s a little racy at the end…. NSFW? Visuals all okay, though — totally SFW.)

….And how much, despite the uggers bikinis and gross objectification of women in this GARSH-awful video, I’m CRAZY about this remake of Toto’s Africa. Please note, however, that, no matter how hard I try, I CANNOT sing that “There’s nothing that a hundred men OR MORE could ever do” line right. Seriously, whenever I sing it, it’s “There’s nothing that a hundred men ON MARS could ever do.” This has been going on for years. Please send help.

….And how much Rascal made me melt today. I know, I said no kid talk today. But, really, there are NO RULES just like there is NO SPOON — I decide, in other words. He fell asleep in his carseat while he was eating a crushed walnut…. SQUEEEE!

(I didn’t really know what to do other than watch him like a hawk and try to wake him up. Leave it to Rascal to be un-wake-up-able in the daytime…with a mouth full of walnut……..)

….And, how much of a LOSER I am because of the dang “xo.” According to my friend Karen, the xo is THE OUT OUT OUT. As in LOSER. And, of course, I’ve been signing my posts “xo Haley-O” for, like, evs, and NOT ONE OF YOU told me to STOPPIT. I am TIRED. I NEED this guidance. I live in my own world. Full of green dots and lines and Asian characters….

I count on you to keep me in the KNOW about these things. Apparently, it’s just “x” now, dammit. So, it’s supposed to be “x Haley-O,” and that’s just confusing. OR, it’s supposed to be “xh,” and that’s just BOO. How ’bout “xHO,” though? That could be good…. Anyway, I’ve been wanting to nix the “-O” for a while now and be just “Haley.” But, I don’t know. I’ve been blogging as “Haley-O” for too long to change it now….

Love!

x
Haley

Blerrrrgh. That does NOT work for me. So impersonal. MWAH MWAH. No.

We’ll just see, I guess…. Maybe I just won’t sign. My posts are long enough as it is these days. And, besides, you know I love you…!

Oh screwit….

LOVE!
xo Haley-O

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