Rascal was up all night AGAIN last night. At 15 months, I’m dealing with this?

What’s worse? THE MONKEY didn’t sleep either last night. While Rascal sat up screaming, she turned on her light and started playing with, you know, THEM….

Before I go on — in my shouldn’t-be-blogging SLEEPY state (forgives…) — I feel I have a responsibility to tell you that a funny little furball just climbed on my lap and is kissing my face off…. Aww…. I am so loved….

He sleeps. Lucky. Only lucky people (and cats) get to sleep. People with benevolent angel children. (Cats can sleep through anything.)

Last night, the Monkey woke up screaming for me. At first I was flattered that, when push comes to shove, she wants MOI and not DADA. But, then I was all, “OH CARP NOOOOO! THE RASCAL! YOU’RE GONNA WAKE THE RASCAL!” Because we know that if Rascal wakes up the night is OVER. And he woke up. And, it was. Over.

He screamed and screamed and gasped for air in between screams. And, there wasn’t much I could do because the Monkey wanted ME. And 3-year-olds don’t DO rejection. Josh-O tried to go in, but it was fruitless. Rascal wanted me. And, of course, I’m flattered at first, but then I’m just mad and just fed up….

And, you know this is an old picture of Anne Hathaway (2004) because she’s not, like, EMACIATED like she is now. Hello? Yeesh.

So, I didn’t sleep AT ALL last night. When I was finally able to leave the Monkey to PLAY with her BACKYARDIGANS, I picked up the Rascal and took him to bed with me.

Uh oh. I know what you’re thinking. And, I KNOW. I’m teaching him to co-sleep. And it’s not like I can THEN get sleep. Because the little GLOMMER insists on clinging to me like a monkey to its mama….


Photo, with thanks, c/o Jornic.

Hmph. Cheaty little monkey. Not only am I tired, but I’m also STIFF. Because once he finds the perfect CLING, there’s no moving for either of us for the rest of the night — or he wakes up and struggles forEVER to find the next perfect CLING.

Anyway, even though I’m DEAD TIRED, and even though my day was full of annoyances like HELLO SOMEONE STOLE MY DAUGHTER’S SHOES (who steals shoes from a THREE-YEAR-OLD), it was overall a good day.

Know why? Because even though I was DEAD TIRED, and someone STOLE MY DAUGHTER’S SHOES, I still went to my friend Courtney’s house. She, too, is a mother of two little monkeys (same age as mine). And, there we were, laughing and crying together — at motherhood, at how hard it is, how funny it is, how we (as Court pointed out) CHERISH THAT 3-SECOND WALK AROUND THE CAR AFTER WE’VE BUCKLED BOTH KIDS IN AND WE ARE OUTSIDE SANS THEM, AND THANK GOD FOR PARKING METRES BECAUSE WE CAN JUST LEAVE THE KIDS IN THE CAR WHILE WE BUY OUR TICKETS AND IT’S, LIKE, OH IT’S LIKE A MINUTE OF HEAVEN….

Even though I may fantasize about going back to work. Being a stay-at-home mom is what I do. It’s not what I AM, but it’s what I do. It’s my job. A very demanding job. Exhausting job. Often thankless job. But, it IS what I do, and I like to think it’s what I do best.

And, it’s a WORK IN PROGRESS. There are ways to make these winter days better. Like sharing the misery getting together with other moms and laughing at ourselves. And, as we laugh, we find ourselves admiring and laughing at our kids and how UTTERLY CUTE they are. And, we realize we were never in fact alone. That we have each other to lean on and confirm that we actually are ALIVE. That we can be a stay-at-home mom AS WELL AS who we ARE.

The best part of the playdate? The trade secrets. Courtney taught me the BEAUTY of Winter. The nights, Gorgeouses, they start early. So, in Courtney-esque fashion, I put my kids to bed at 6:45 tonight. And, ahhh, bliss. Ahhh, SHORT DAY.

Wish me luck getting sleep tonight! And, seriously, thank you for your amazing, supportive comments yesterday…. I can’t even tell you how much I appreciate them and how much they helped me today.

Love! xo Haley-O

[14] Comments