Putting on The Young and the Restless so that I can CALM DOWN while Josh-O bathes the monkeys. Ugh, but Gloria and Jeffrey Bardwell are HORRIBLE.

So, here we go. I’ve had a long day. It started off great with a FABULOUS yoga class where we must have done an HOUR of pranayama, or breathing exercises. You wouldn’t believe the effects of these exercises; they’re both stress busting and…MY ABS! Awesome. Totally exhilarating. Energizing. MUCH needed.

I felt great for a long time after the class. Until about 6pm, when I dumped HALF of tonight’s fresh-cooked dinner all over the oven — into the oven drawer and onto the floor. Rascal taste-tested the boiling-hot remnants as they oozed onto the floor, and he seemed impressed and, thankfully, not burned. But, of course, when we sat down to eat the precious dinner that remained, he wouldn’t touch it, which left me PISSED OFF — mostly because the Monkey had to PEE five minutes into this blessed half-feast, and when Monkey has to pee, we ALL have to trudge upstairs. (Josh-O wasn’t home yet….)

ANYWAY, speaking of food…. Everyone’s talking about Alanis Morrissette’s DRAMATIC 20-pound weight loss in three months. Check the before and after:


Photos, with thanks, c/o OK Magazine and Ohnotheydidn’t.

Yes, the leggings, the leggings! Everyone’s talking about the leggings. I actually like the leggings because I love cats — and they’re, like, Cat Woman leggings. Anyway, how did she do it? THIS BOOK:


It’s Dr. Fuhrman’s well-known diet book, Eat to Live. It targets people with heart disease and/or diabetes primarily, and people who want to lose weight aggressively. But, it’s SERIOUS. I know. Because it’s been sitting on my nightstand for weeks now. Every night, I SWEAR I will abide by the 6-week menu plan TO THE TEE. But, I can NEVER follow through. Not even for a day. Errrmmm…. WaytogoWILLPOWER!

See, here’s the thing. I’m a vegan. So, my diet’s restrictive enough — especially since dissing my beloved Starbucks chai-tea latte. But, to pretty-much eliminate my GRAINS, my STARCHY vegetables, my OILS? It’s too much. Fat-free, low-carb vegan diet? Sounds NOT doable. Maybe for a bride-to-be who wants to be SKINNY-LIKE-ALANIS for her wedding day. But, watch her BALLOON out as soon as she’s off this (four-letter-word) DIET. And, kudos to the stay-at-home mom who could live on salads and beans with fat-free dressings. Blech. Yawn.

Then, again, they say this diet CHANGES YOUR LIFE and gives you RENEWED energy. They say that once you get past the withdrawal phase (withdrawal from sugar, caffeine, animal products, etc.), you begin to enjoy this way of eating. But, who can get past the withdrawal phase? What stay-at-home mom of two kids — 1 and 3 — can get past the withdrawal phase…with all her hair in tact? I ASK YOU?

So, what I’ve done (just now) is made a compromise with Dr. Fuhrman. I’m already vegan. Now, I’m going to increase my intake of fruits and vegetables — more salads, more soups — BUT, I’m still going to eat whole grains, and healthy fats in moderation. Everything in moderation. THAT, is doable. Everything else in the diet is too obsessive and unrealistic…, at least for me.

Look! Prepared lettuce. READY TO GRAB!

Who says Dr. Fuhrman’s the BE-ALL anyway? Oh…. Oh yeah…. Oprah’s world-famous cardiologist Dr. Mehmet Oz has been pushing it…wrote the forward to this diet. It’s definitely healthy. But, it’s borderline anorexic if you ask me…. And, MAMA knows best! Heh.

Ugh. But, none of this matters because my dad says there’s a new weight loss pill that’s on the brink of being released. It’s going to SAVE US ALL! Except that I’d never touch such a thing with a 10-foot pole. Not even TOUCH it with a 10-foot pole.

He loves his kitties….

Love…!
xo Haley-O

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