It’s a sentimental one today. I’m in that kind of mood. Not having a computer all day (until Josh-O came home with his blessed laptop) will do that to a girl….

I just want to say that, you know Gorgeouses, sometimes the greatest gifts come from the most unexpected places, at the most unexpected times….

I’ve been feeling so disconnected lately and, literally, cut off. I’ve been working a lot on myself — not only for me, but for THE CHILDREN — and I’m at a place where I can determine EXACTLY what I’m feeling and experiencing. Sounds weird, I know. But, not really. Weird was today: me guessing an acquaintance of mine was seeing someone new after A LONG break in the romance department, and that his name was — get this — “J.R.” Okay, so how freaky is that? Anyway, I can read myself very well now (and apparently others!). And, every ounce of my being was screaming “CUT OFF” today.

Of course, my broken-computer situation was further confirmation that I am, indeed, CUT OFF. Disconnected, literally, from my internet friends, and missing that much-needed feeling of connection that I get when I turn it on in the middle of my toddler-filled day.

You know what, though? I kind of liked it. For some SICK reason, I wanted to wallow in it a little.  Because, somehow, feeling disconnected forced me to reconnect with myself. And, I was liking it. Like, “hey, Cheaty, long-time-no-see! I’LL be your friend. Wanna hang out?”

So, I was going to just wallow by myself for the morning instead of going to yoga class. Kids were taken care of — the Monkey at school, and the Rascal with it’sgrandma….

But, then I remembered a card I drew for myself last night, from Lisa Hunt’s beautiful Animals Divine Tarot Deck. I like to draw a card from this very positive deck as a tool for my evening meditation (told you I’ve been working on myself!). The card is supposed to inform my dreams and serve as a spiritual theme for the next day. I was lucky this time. I drew the luckiest card in the deck: The 9 of Cups…. Salmon jumping out of the deep dark waters (of the unconsciouseses), cups over flowing-eth….


This card is from the Animals Divine Tarot deck, by Lisa Hunt. Image ©Lisa Hunt.

Beautiful card…. I love Lisa Hunt’s work. So the Nine of Cups is often about GIFTIES! Whatever you want? It’s YOURS. LOVE it. But, when I woke up the next morning, I was definitely NOT feeling happy-go-lucky! No. I was feeling DISCONNECTED, “CUT OFF”! So, what’s with THE CARD?

As I would soon discover, the gift was in that disconnection, in the resulting reconnection with myself.

At 9am this morning, in my sorry state, I dragged myself to yoga class. All I wanted to do was be ALONE with myself. But, I knew I had to go.

I went. I decided I’d be totally quiet in the class. The teacher encourages discussion, and I always judge myself harshly after I blurt out my contributions…. So compulsive. And, of course, I couldn’t stay silent. I spoke: something about the effects of “bee breath” on the brain…. But, I didn’t judge myself this time.

AMAZING things happened in this class. I lay there. I breathed. I meditated. I spoke without self-judgment. And, I opened my heart: from standing, I lifted up and bent over backwards into wheel/chakrasana….

I haven’t done that in years — because I always think my technique isn’t strong enough, and I worry about my weak wrists (after two carpul-tunnel-filled pregnancies). But, I did it. I had nothing to lose and I DID IT. GIFTY. Like the salmon exploding out of the dark waters, I exploded up and out of myself into this beautiful, heart-opening pose. And, I felt a rush of love for everyone, every thing….

By 10am, my day had turned around. 180°. I felt compassion. For everyone. For myself.

And, while Monkey spent the afternoon with it’sgrandma, Rascal and I cuddled and played and giggled the day away. I didn’t need anything else. No computer, no pinkberry, no phone. Just the two of us.

I believe we sat together for a whole HOUR during lunch. Just giggling and eating together….Later, I cashed a sweet check (GIFTY), we DROVE to the park down the street, and I pushed the little CUTIE on the swing — one of his favourite things.

When Monkey came home, we all played: tea party, lego, dancing…. Until it was time to make a very special dinner (when I get my computer back, I’ll post it on Cheaty Kitchen — it was a HIT!).

It was a BEAUTIFUL day. Cups. Overfloweth.

Out of the dark depths of disconnection — SPLASH — explosion into joy, love, laughter and dance. And, man, did we dance.

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