September 16, 2008 | Uncategorized
I just got back from SUCH a nice dinner with bff Lolo. Just the girls. She was taking me out to dinner to celebrate my new blog-free life…. But, the occasion changed when I told her — less than 48 hours after taking it all down — that I’m back up and running. Yes, Cheaty Monkey is BACK.
I hear this happens all the time in Blog Land. People “quit,” and then they come back — usually within 24 hours. I lasted a little longer than that, but it was BRUTAL. You can thank YOURSELVES, Gorgeouses, for bringing me back, actually, because your emails were HEART WRENCHING. I felt like I DIED and was at MY OWN FUNERAL. It was terrible.
And, then I woke up this morning, and I was like OMIGOSH I need that blog back, and I need it NOW! I’m DEAD without it. DEAD!
I took it down originally for so many reasons. If you don’t know already, I’m an EXTREME person. I ALWAYS have been. I remember my mother telling me that when I got home WAY LATE one night (when I was in high school). And, it’s so true. Anyway, I felt so overwhelmed by the blogging because I wasn’t doing so well emotionally AT ALL. I was feeling depressed and SAPPED of energy. So, I thought SOMETHING had to change. And, I decided it was the blogging that had to go.
I thought I would feel FREE! NO PRESSURE! Time to paint and do yoga and go out with friends and build the business! But, on my first night of so-called freedom, all I wanted to do was WRITE and share things with the GORGEOUSES! And, the emails. OHHHHHHHHHHH, the emails!!!
Your emails made me realize that this internet thing isn’t a vacuum. There are REAL people here. REAL people relating to me and supporting me from afar and feeling inspired by me (what an honour that is). So, I realize I AM getting SO MUCH from this. I felt like I was giving giving giving…. It took quitting to make me see how VERY much I was getting from this.
A totally APROPOS quote from my yoga class this morning: “COLLAPSE THE STRUCTURE SO YOU CAN REBUILD GRADUALLY.” My teacher was talking about the thoracic spine…. For me, it was about the blog. I have collapsed my blog so I can now rebuild gradually and without PRESSURE. Like a yoga pose….
The biggest change you’ll see to the Cheaty Monkey site is the demise of Cheaty Gossip. I’m sorry to see that go, but my heart wasn’t into it, and something had to go so that I could enjoy life and free myself up to paint and read, sleep more and LIVE more. If I get the old urge to gossip, you’ll see it right here….
I’m not good at this moderation thing. I’m an all-or-nothing, pack-on-the-pressure, kind of girl…. So, this will be a healthy challenge for me.
I won’t always respond to comments, but know that I’m reading and loving them….
I love reading everyone’s blogs, but I won’t get to visit everyone as much as I’d like….
If I’m feeling down, overtired, or like painting, I won’t post, or I’ll post small….
Thank you so much for ALL your support and for bringing me back to life….
Love! xoxo Haley-O