Something’s wrong with me. I think I’m manic. I went from totally lie-on-the-couch depressed yesterday to….

Cooking a LASAGNA? Baking banana bread with HIDDEN PUREED CAULIFLOWER? ExCUSE me? Did I do that?

And, by the way, no. I’m NOT watching the new 90210. I know it’s, like, a HUGE TV, and thus pop culture, event. And, as a gossip ARTIST (what I’m calling myself these days), I would be irresponsible NOT to watch it. But, Gorgeouses, you see, I TRIED to watch it. TRIED. But, I couldn’t. The DRAMA was just too much. And, it made me feel OLD. I am NOT in high school, and no part of me wants to revisit that time in my life. Not that it was bad. It was aiight. I’m just glad it’s over.

Back to my couch. With Big Brother 10. QUALITY TV. Despite its disappointing early weeks, this season’s Big Brother has pulled through. LOVING IT. Team Jerry KEISHA!

So, yesterday I was on the couch sulking and reluctantly COUGHING up a blog post about things like swans geese. They were white geese, apparently. I totally thought they were swans. Thanks everyone and your sisters for correcting me on that. WHO KNEW geese could be white? Mind you, they did HONK. They honked a lot. I suppose swans don’t honk? No? No honking? What, erm, sounds do swans make? Pretty sounds, I bet. Certainly not “HONK”? Feel free NOT to answer that in the comments. I can do without. And, sounds like a lot of work.

So, I sent an email to a famous shaman while I was vegging on my couch yesterday. I thought he might help me with a little problem I’m having. Let’s just call him “MINDEN” and “ALL NIGHT LONG.”


It’s bad enough that Rascal’s waking up EVERY GOSH DANG DAY at 4:30am — and then climbs all over my semi-conscious body until I pick myself up limb-by-limb off the bed and wash whatever hair I haven’t pulled out of my head. Now, MINDEN’s been kissing me WITH FERVOUR, IN MY MOUTH (he tries, anyway), ALL. NIGHT. LONG. I know, you’re saying (after all that eeewwwwing), “just kick him out of your room!” Not so easy. If he’s not in my room, he’s HOWLING all night long. And, Rascal’s a light sleeper.

Yes, just like swans HONK? Cats HOWL.

Ahhh. Life. Is. Gooooood.

You know, it really was good, today. I did my job, and I did it well. Monkey had a great first HOUR of preschool (I’ll take ANYTHING). She loved it. And, I showed her and her brother a brillers afternoon in the park WITH ice cream….

…THAT I bought FROM an ice cream truck….

Best FOUR DOLLARS ever spent.

Like Monkey’s humungous ice cream, I MELTED as I watched Rascal LOVING the sandbox SO much — which makes me glad I’m one of the parents who still lets her children play public sandboxes….


Rascal’s first friend!

…But, of course, I scoped the sandbox out thoroughly for raccoon poop and heroine needles FIRST. S’all good….

Know how I know I was a GOOD MOTHER FOR SURE today? They’re both sleeping. It’s 8pm, and they’re sleeping. Soundly. With lasagna and banana muffins in their li’l bellies….

So, I haven’t heard back from the shaman yet. What’s THAT about?

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