Okay, how cute is this?

It’s Rascal. On a little bike. His feet don’t quite reach the pedals, as you can see…. But, look how CUTE! He LOVES it! He’s such a big boy now — even though he’s still so little…. I could kiss that blond head until my lips get callused.

‘Kay so now I woke up this morning, and what was the first thing I thought about? Can you guess? My Starbucks Soy No-Water Chai Tea Latte.

I know. I KNOWWWW. Enough with the chai tea latte, Haley!

But, see, it’s not about the chai tea latte itself. I know this INTUITIVELY, Gorgeouses. It’s what it represents. And, how what it represents is preventing me from moving forward in my life and, basically, from getting well.

See, I STILL have 40 pounds of pregnancy weight to lose. STILL. Rascal’s 10 months old. And, I know I don’t have to get all the way down to my pre-pregnancy weight. And, I know I’m still breastfeeding. But, I’d like to get a LITTLE BIT A LOT closer to my ideal weight.

I’d like, MY GOD, to stop looking pregnant!

But, see, when I went to the meditation workshop yesterday, a whole lot of stuff came up. All this pregnancy weight is BAGGAGE. It’s leftover EMOTIONAL WEIGHT from the trauma of my pregnancies (particularly my first one). I haven’t been able to let it all go, free myself from it, and move on! I still live in fear of that ARFUL anxiety YES I DO.

The chai tea is my very FATTENING escape. I know, it’s not THAT bad. But, it sets me up for a day full of cravings and mood swings. It keeps me from achieving the healthy diet my body craves in order to get well, to shed all this baggage and weight.

It’s been keeping me from eating the big bowl of fruit I had for breakfast this morning, FOR EXAMPLE.

I don’t want to waste my life away in a Starbucks cafe. I don’t want to look and FEEL pregnant forever.

So, basically, I had fruit for breakfast today instead of my Starbucks. A nice big bowl of blueberries. Mmmm….

I felt energized, yes. And, fairly sweet-tooth satisfied. It’s just that…now I have a headache. a GRANDE NO-WATER SIZED HEADACHE. But, no plastic-lined paper cups were used in the creation of this headache, and this headache is EXACTLY ZERO CALORIES. Sweet, indeed.

And, WILL Sabrina Newman die on Young and the Restless?

Oh, oops. She just died. Sad. I think I almost shed a tear. Stunning. I’ll miss looking at her. But, I won’t miss all the “mon amour” talk with Victor because eww. EEeeeeeek the little girl ghost is freaking the CARP out of me. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Y&R is doing a NUMBER on me tonight!

Anyway, I need to get well, Gorgeouses. And, I need to do it the CHEATY (aka EXTREME) way. It’s a life goal. The only thing stopping me from achieving it is me. Every morning. When I wake up and immediately think with EXCITEMENT about sabotaging that life goal.

Gorgeouses are probably SICK AND TIRED of hearing about my life dreams and goals. But, life is too short to sweat the small stuff.

All the yoga is getting to my head and seeping into my LIFE OMIGARSH. I think that’s what it’s supposed to do. But, it’s crazy. I’ve been practicing for 25 years! And, it’s having this effect NOW…? Wonder what’s up?

By the way, IS IT ME? Or, do you crack up, too, when Cat Deeley says to the eliminated So You Think You Can Dance dancers, “let’s have a look at your best bits”?

Okay. Off to the country for the week. There are NO STARBUCKS there and plenty of BLUEBERRIES. Poor kitties will MISS moi. But, I’ve got them well taken care of. And plant. Plant will be well watered and talked to. I’ll blog when and where I can with lots of COUNTRAY wisdom. Will try HARD to kiss a cow for you, Gorgeouses. LOVE!

xo Haley-O