…Don’t EVEN get me started…………

See, I’m so glad I posted the lamest post I’ve ever posted (HATED IIIIIT) yesterday so that I could get to bed SO-CALLED early. Because: a) Monkey decided she didn’t want to go to bed; and, b) Rascal was up…ALL NIGHT (yes, you heard that right, and, no, am not exaggerating).

Let’s address “a)” first, okay?

Have you seen this commercial? (That would be a resounding “NO” for anyone outside Ontario, Canada, but anyway, check it — it’s THUPER sweet….)

So, last night, I thought I could be sweet like the daddy in this addy and let my sleepless monkey watch So You Think You Can Dance (HOLLLAAAHHHHH! Best season EVAH!) with me on the couch. In the meantime, I figured, I could finish up my business stuff while we watched, and then we could both go to bed together — if she didn’t dose off angelically on the couch. (Josh-O was out playing poker with the boys, by the way.)

Alas, it was not meant to be. MY sweet evening on the couch consisted of much WHINING, ball-throwing, begging for COOKIES, and strangling neck cuddling. Needless to say, we will NOT be attempting another mother-daughter TV night for a lo-ho-hong time. No, I’m not falling for that. And, I should SUE Rogers for FALSE ADVERTISING. FALSE!

Hmph. Cheaty little monkey.

And, then there’s “b)”. Somewhere in yesterday’s LAME-O post, I mentioned a little tooth-sprouting action on the….

…by the way? You know you’re hungry when you’re watching So You Think You Can Dance? And, a commercial comes on? What’s with me and the watching-commercials lately? Anyway, mouth starts watering at the sight of…LETTUCE! Yes, lettuce. Crisp, green, cruciferous….

Yumm…. Oh wow, this is…different. Should I call the doctor?

…And by the way? Twitch and Kherington in the bottom three? What the….?

So, yes, “b)”. Someone’s been sprouting his first pearly-whites and it’s been none to fun for MOI. For he seems to think my BOOB is a cure-all. Which sucks (oy, pun…) for me. All night. Sucked. He sucked ALL NIGHT. If it happens again tonight, I’m whipping out the baby Tylenol because I’m exhausted and can’t take the relentless sucking shrieking.

What have I done that BOTH my monkeys KNOW think they can get what they want by SHRIEKING. If the monkey doesn’t get “THE RED SPOOOOON! I WAN RASCAL’S RED SPOOOOON!”, for example, she shrieks. And, there are tears, Gorgeouses. Great, bulbous TEARS.

No really, I’ll get the video camera. You call the Oscar committee. Because, seriously? Best Actor and Best Actress RIGHT HERE! No contest.

Guess what’s happening this Sunday, Gorgeouses? Can you? Can you GUESS? It’s BIG! It’s BIG BROTHER!!! Don’t forget to CHECK IT!!!