EVERYONE keeps telling me to take it easy. I pressure myself WAY too much: must be better mommy, must be better yoga instructor, must write perfect blog post(s) every day, must keep house clean, must be better better BETTER, must EAT RIGHT, must LOSE PREGNANCY WEIGHT, must wax eyebrows, must shower, must brush teeth, pee….

Being THAT hard on yourself can be seriously exhausting. I should have known walking into this motherhood thing that it would be haaaaard like this. I mean, anything’s easier than the internal HELL I went through in my pregnancies. That was supposed to prepare me for this! But, really, nothing can prepare you for this.

Nothing can prepare you for the anxiety, the pressure, the guilt, the sleeplessness (which ultimately exacerbates ALL of it), the exhaustion, the constant go…go…go…. But, also, nothing can prepare you for the happiness, the PHYSICAL sensation of loving a child — the way your heart ACTUALLY swells with the love to the point at which you DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH YOURSELF or HOW TO KEEP YOUR HEART FROM EXPLODING OUT OF CHEST! You know that feeling?

It’s all so overwhelming, so self-consuming….

And, I have to make a change. Must stop consuming self. Because I can honestly, FINALLY, admit to myself and to YOU THE PEOPLE — especially after watching a FAB episode of Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style last night — that, ahem, {pause} {pause} I’ve let myself go.

I HAVE LET MYSELF GO!

You see, I can write all I want about the gym and yoga and my dieting. But, you’re not with me when I gulp down that SECOND chai-tea latte of the day. You’re not with me when I eat that one bite of the Monkey’s lunch, and then another, and another, …and another. You’re not there with me when I leave the house on my dusk walk in, yes (and SHUT IT), crocsandsocksPURPLEsocks. You’re not there when I fall into bed at the end of the night without — eek — putting on my MOISTURIZER! You, erm, haven’t seen the state of my underwear drawer, or my nails…. And, you’re not there when I leave the house in black Lululemons and hoodie COVERED in CAT HAIR!


Oh, but they’re worth it!

I HAVE LET MYSELF GO!

Realizing that I’ve let myself go is the first step toward doing something about it, though, right Gorgeouses?! Yes. And, SOMETHING ABOUT IT, I MUST DO!

But, as Tim’s show revealed (I LOVE YOU, TIM!), putting yourself back together after letting yourself go is SO DANG HARD. And, see, it’s not a laughing matter….


Caaaaaall me, Tim!!! MAKE ME OVAH! And, while we’re at it, have dinner with me!

So! As of tomorrow (Wednesday), I’m picking myself back up. There’s NO reason why I shouldn’t look as good as I did before I got pregnant. I mean, there’s no need for me to be a size 0 (i.e., ZERO), but size 2-4 would be nice…. And, gosh dangit, I NEED a haircut! Did you see how long and unruly it looked in the Goodie VLOG?

But, one thing at a time. I have enough pressure in my life. I just know I’ll feel a lot better if I pick myself up again and start putting myself first now and then. After all, won’t Mama be a better role model if she takes care of herself? Won’t EVERYONE be happier if Mama feels better about herself?

It all starts tomorrow, Gorgeouses. I met with Lori (Cheaty’s resident Nutritionist) today, and the diet’s getting SERIOUS now. So much so, that I went out and bought myself a BINDER….

This is the beginning, Gorgeouses. And, it’s the answer. The better I feel about myself, the better EVERYTHING will be….

GOAL: BY THE TIME I’M 34 (September 10), I WILL BE HAWT, SEXAY, WELL-DRESSED MILF.

Now, Law of Attraction, DO YOUR THANG!

So, how ’bout you, Gorgeouses? Talk to me. Have you ever let yourself go? How did you/will you put yourself back together?

Wish me luck! And, keep an eye on Cheaty Kitchen for more diet deets, shopping lists (oooo, exciting!), and more!