Mothering is an AROUND-THE-CLOCK gig. I mean, no one knows that more than I do after these past 8 months of NO SLEEP. But, last night really took the cake. Took the cake and HURLED it into the abyss of insanity where I now lie — mmm…, icing…, loooove….

See, when the clock strikes 8/8:30…9pm (11 on Saturday after spontaneous dusk walk led us to Blockbuster and renting Alvin and the Chipmunks — God help us, actually it was cute), I like to think I can have some time to myself to play, my style, that I can be selfish for a while.

So, tonight (Saturday), I decided to really use the time, be selfish, do whatever I want (not including sipping a chai tea latteeeeeeee…. grrrr). I turn off the computer, go upstairs, wash, brush, slip into bed, and open my book…. Nothing like fat King Henry VIII and his pretty little “whores” to waft me into dreamland…. Ahhhhh…. Bliss…. Sleep….

WAHHHHHHHHHHH!

I’m brutally yanked from my beautiful 10-minute sleep…. It’s the monkey. Night terrors again.

“Spiders!”

“Pins and needles in my arm! Neeeeeeeedohs!”

“The phone. TAKE THE PHONE, MAAAAMA!”

I reluctantly throw the warm cozy covers off me and Minden (and there is NOTHING like cuddling with a kitty while you sleep…. purrrrr), and drag my feet into the HYSTERICAL monkey’s room.

And, there I sit. Cheek resting on hand. Watching for eyes to close. Waiting for shallow frightened breaths to slow to sleep.

When she’s restored somewhat to calm, I race to soothe her brother — who’s whimpering alone in his dark room, with visions of nothing but booooooobie.

At last, all is quiet again. But, I have nowhere to sleep. The husband, the monkey — they’re taking up the whole bed! So much for so-called “mama’s bed.” Hrumph. If I even budge the monkey, she shrieks. And, I can’t risk her waking the rascal again.

Thoroughly disgruntled, I grab my pillow and make my way to the monkey’s twin bed. Missing my cushion-top mattress…. Missing…. Missing…. I can barely sleep.

But, sigh…. The monkey, the rascal, the husband are all sleeping peacefully.

I write all this down in my journal. Calming my nerves. Nothing like being jolted out of the most peaceful sleep OF your life…. Eventually, I close my eyes and drift into a shallow sleep. Until the next cry. For me. Always for me.

Motherhood around the clock. Selfish moment? My arse.

Cue the morning….

Stomp stomp stomp pitterpatter pitterpatter. Gurg. It’s the monkey: “It’s UP TIME! Where we gon’ go, Mommy?”

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