Ummm, according to the wonderful Ms. C at my gym daycare…, THIS is how one makes a clapper:

Now, Ms. C is so sweet, she doesn’t get why these drawings of hers are SO FREAKIN FARKIN FORKIN hilarious! She really doesn’t think that THAT looks like a penis, or that THAT looks like a certain sexual act, in any way, shape or form…! But, ummmm, everybody else does.

See, when I recommended that some of my trainer friends check out the “How-to-Make-a-Clapper” sheet that’s tacked on the daycare wall by the coat hooks (“because you will LAUGH YOUR ARSES OFF”), they did. And, the “How-to-Make-a-Clapper” sheet did not disappoint! In fact, it has now been photocopied LIKE CRAZY and circulated among the gym’s franchises for ALL the staff to enjoy!

Ms. C is, of course, okay with this because she knows we love her and that it’s merely a matter of ALL OF US being corrupt and pathetic and, possibly, in need of a GOOD LAUGH….

Now, Gorgeouses, if you don’t think the “How-to-Make-a-Clapper” sheet is FREAKIN FARKIN FORKIN hilarious…, that’s okay! At least you now know how to make a clapper! And, that’s a really good thing.

The mouse came back…thought he was a goner. But, the mouse came back. He just couldn’t stay away…, dum, dum, dum (know that song, Gorgeouses??)….

Last night, Josh-O convinced me to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. So, we went out as a family to a beautiful restaurant in midtown Toronto called Shatzy’s. I was SO reluctant to go out — had a headache and everything. But, he insisted. And, I’m so glad he did. We walked into the restaurant, and I immediately relaxed. The tension in my head eased. And, I REALLY enjoyed myself. I particularly loved the lights upon lights adorning the ceiling and warming up the place, the way the owner treated us like royalty, how accepting everyone there was of our baby rascal and 2.5 year-old monkey who let out the occasional SCREECH.

The food was also DEELISH. Something for everyone. I had an AMAZING appetizer: portobello mushroom with goat cheese, pine nuts and sundried tomatoes (LOVE). And, I had a carb-free entree of perfectly-baked WILD ATLANTIC salmon on a bed of steamed veggies. Like a good little dieter, I gave my sweet-potato fries to Josh-O and the monkey, who enjoyed pizza, lasagna, caesar salad and a scrumptious (-looking and -smelling…..) lemon-meringue pie.

Only problem with the restaurant? The waiter put the lemon-meringue pie IN FRONT OF ME! Okay, it was an accident. But, still. Hee!

Cheaty HIGHLY recommends.

So, the GORJ Fran from Frantastic Treats (seriously, she’s GORJ — see for yourself on her site — with a South African accent to boot!) and I are THRILLED that we’ve had such a great response to our CHEATY VALENTINE CONTEST! And, it’s not too late to enter, you know! You have till Thursday! Winners to be announced Friday! SO exciting!

And, you can expect LOTS more chances to win stuff when my NEW CHEATY SITE is complete! Coming SOOOOON! Yeah, just stay on the edges of your seats for another 2 weeks, or so…! It’ll be worth the wait, promise! Can you tell I’m getting excited???

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