I’m in a tizzy. Yes, that’s right, I said a TIZZY. Know why? It’s stupid, really. I mean, it’s really stupid. But, then again, maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s very serious. I mean, something I should be taking really seriously. I need your advice.

To keep the blender, or not to keep the blender? THAT, Gorgeouses, is the question.

Check it.

Today, Josh-O and I bundled up the monkeys and went to the mall. I mean, we went to THE most famous mall in Toronto, on BOXING DAY.

Were we (temporarily, we hope) insane? Answer: yes. For one thing, I’m sort of claustrophobic. By “sort of,” I mean, IN MALLS. I have a hard time in malls on a good day — all that recycled air, the people walking the wrong way and RIGHT INTO me. Remember how horribly terribly I fared at IKEA? Well, Yorkdale Mall was WORSE. WHY DID WE GO THERE ON BOXING DAY? Or, rather, WHY DID I AGREE TO GO THERE? I have to start thinking before I do stuff, really.

I’m the most impulsive person you know. Did you know that? Have you gathered that yet from reading here at The Cheaty Monkey? I make RASH decisions all the time. It’s probably my worst character trait. That, and the whole anxiety/addictive personality stuff. Yeah, I’m a real prize…!

So, the tizzy. In the one hour that I could(n’t) stand being there, we bought, like, two things. Josh-O bought some shirts from his favourite store. And, crazy pureeing-machine moi, got this:

I have been SO excited about my new blender. I’ve been totally stroking it lovingly every time I pass by it. But, then. THEN! I opened up the user manual (LOVE user manuals), and mine eyes stopped at THIS: “Polycarbonate Pitcher.” WTF is polycarbonate?? Of course, I googled it, and discovered the following (here): “polycarbonate plastic is one made from bisphenol A, in which groups from bisphenol A are linked together by carbonate groups in a polymer chain.”

When I read “bisphenol A,” I immediately remembered seeing campaigns against this on the sidebars of some of my favourite blogs!

No no no no no no NO! So, NOW, I think I need to return my precious blender. My beautiful blender THAT CHOPS, TOO! Whether or not the bisphenol A will leak into my fabulous purees doesn’t even matter. What matters is that you know I’ll be THINKING about bisphenol A whenever I so much as LOOK at my blender.

Josh-O thinks I’m being a nutcase, but….

I need to return it, don’t I, Gorgeouses?

Oh, carp.

What blender should I buy? Help?

Then…THEN! Josh espied (good word) some UGGs on sale, knowing, like no one else, how I love, want, NEED a pair of my very own!

I was so excited — drooled as I bent down to unzip my ancient pleathers…. Pleather. Oh. And, UGGs are made of what did you say? “Real sheepskin”? And, that’s supposed to be your selling point! Do you KNOW who you’re talking to? Have you SEEN my pleathers? It’s me: she who sees a face in every boot, every purse, belt and hamburger. I suck. Suck, suck, sucketh.

I’m a self-proclaimed fashionista who CAN’T wear leather.

Wait…. Doesn’t PETA girl Pam Anderson wear UGGS? Oh, wait, she gave them the boot back in February….

Still…can’t do it. Sigh, wishicould….

I totally suck. Freaking pleathers. Wah. Boo.

Hey YOU! Go to SLEEP!!!!!!!

You can DO IT! Look how TIRED!!!

Sighhh…. Love.

Oy. MwahmwahMWAH! {Whine} He won’t sleeeeeeep!!!

Come check my gossip!:

LOVE! xo Haley-O

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